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I feel like retraumatizing myself today, so here’s a little blurb I wrote
TW: Joel’s death (offscreen)
summary: you’re all alone again.
you sat at your kitchen island, fiddling with the engagement ring Joel had found on a patrol in Cody. the small clock on the cream walls ticked, filling the quiet air. Joel was supposed to be back hours ago.
“shit,, you mumbled, and looked toward the door. standing up, you grabbed your travel bag, and opened the door, only freeing before you stepped out. in front of you stood Tommy, his hand raised to knock.
“goin’ somewhere?,, he asked quietly. his eyes were reddened, and he looked exhausted and emotionally drained. you tilted your head slowly.
“where’s Joel?,, you mumbled. Tommy sighed, his breath shaky, and looked down. he looked back up at you, and shook his head slowly.
“i’m so sorry,,
you knew what he meant. but that was impossible. Joel was always the most careful on patrols. like he did five years ago taking Ellie to those goddamn fireflies, he always took the highest precautions.
“that ain’t funny, Tommy.,, you breathed. Tommy opened his mouth to speak, but you put up a hand.
“get the hell off my property,, you hissed. Tommy started saying your name, but you cut him off, slamming the door in his face. Crumbling to the ground, you hid your face in your hands, sobs racking your body. For what seemed like forever, you sat against the door, holding yourself. Eventually, you moved to you and Joel’s shared bedroom, putting on his flannel and smelling the woodsy, cologne like scent that was left on it. Joel. Your Joel. Gone.
The next morning, you woke up, your eyes cracking open after being basically glued together by tears. You thought it was just a bad dream, and reached to the other side of the bed to hug your husband.
but he wasn’t there.
This fanfiction is technically a Ellie x fem! Reader, so just.. idk.. yeah keep that in mind. I actually wrote the original version a couple years ago, due to my hate for Abby, so here’s the warnings for chapter one:
WARNINGS: angst, Ellie being depressed, Ellie having PTSD, implied suicidal ideation (Ellie), reader DESPISING Abby
tags: use of y/n one time, pretty angsty, yk the deal
Lmk if I missed anything, and feel free to give constructive criticism!
REVENGE- CH.1 of ?
The wind blew gently through the oak trees that surrounded the beige ranch, like a shield. You sat, quiet, and contemplating. After Ellie had come back from Santa Barbara, she hadn’t been the same. Emotionally, and physically. With two fingers bitten off, and the already fading glint in her eyes gone, you didn’t know what to do. You knew why she hadn’t killed Abby on that beach. But that doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less. You looked down at your hands, and sighed.
For weeks, you had been taking care of Ellie, comforting her through every panic attack, every violent nightmare that had her screaming when she woke up. Pushing down your anger and grief, you put her first. While it wasn’t the healthiest thing in the world, it at least tamed the storm for a bit. But the thunder was starting to grow louder and quicker. You looked back at the front door, and stood up, closing your eyes for a moment. Walking in, you walked up to Ellie, who was drinking a glass of water. Wrapping your arms around her waist, you restsd your head on your shoulder.
Hey, baby. You murmured, breathing in her citrusy scent. Ellie let out a sound of acknowlegdment in response. You took a breath, before gently turning her around to face you.
Ells.. I.. I’m going to kill her. You said. Ellie looked at you blankly, the energy in her watercolor eyes gone. When it sank in, she shook her head.
No. Ellie’s eyes narrowed. You looked at her pleadingly.
Baby, I can’t just let her roam free after what she did-
Then I’m coming, too. You scoffed.
Like hell you are. Have you seen yourself? You don’t sleep. You barely eat. I need you here. Safe. You looked at her, your hand on her cheek. Ellie pushed your hand away, the warmth of her skin gone.
You won’t be able to find her. She’s probably halfway across the world by now. Ellie said, taking a step back. You shook your head.
Tommy has contacts. Maybe he knows-
Jesus Christ, Y/N. You know what? Fine. Get yourself killed. I could care less. Ellie snapped, and you took a step back. She’d never been like this to you. She’d never claimed that she didn’t care. But you brushed it off, a feeling of hurt settling in your gut. You took a step back, and walked into your shared bedroom. Quickly, you packed your bag, hesitating before reaching up onto the dresser retrieving Joel’s old revolver. It’d been a while since the gun saw the light of day, as you didn’t trust yourself to leave it out in the open around Ellie alone. You put the gun in your holster, and put your shotgun in the sleeve on your bag. Ellie was still standing at the counter, looking down at the ground. You sighed, kissing her cheek gently.
I’ll be back, baby. You mumbled, and left.
shoutouts:
@likesomeoneinlovee @pedgito @mssalo
@mrs-hardy-hunnam-butler-pascal @a-misfortune
holy shit this explanation made me see Abby in an entirely new light… and it’s so fucking real. good lord my hate for her just went from a devastating wildfire to a cataclysmic extinction event.
Abby is the worst person in TLOU HBO. She’s on par with David. I cannot and will not sympathize with her. I actually kind of regret how nice to her I was in Yearling now, glad she spent time with raiders, she deserved it.