Mfw I Was At A Grocery Once And Saw “non-dairy” On A Sign As “non-binary”

So I’ve been reading about someone who was ideologically abused within Catholicism and it’s bringing up a lot of feelings, but one thing it’s really crystallizing in my mind is an important thing that people fail to understand about ideological abuse.

The (relatively mild) ideological abuse I have experienced was used to convince me of some bad and harmful shit. But I’m worried that the things I’ve said about it make it seem like the abuse was bad because it convinced me of untruths. That’s a very very small part of the problem.

It is possible to commit ideological abuse in the name of ideas that are 100% true. People think that ideological abuse is only done in the name of darkly comic nonsense (Xenu only makes sense to someone who’s been abused so badly they forget how to think clearly) or ideologies based on cruelty and subjugation. It’s true that abuse is more common in ideologies that cannot possibly defend themselves with actual arguments, but it’s completely possible to abuse people in the name of things which make sense.

If you’re dealing with someone who thinks two plus two is five, you can show them they are wrong with counters or numberlines or whatever. This will teach them basic arithmetic and also respect their personhood. This is what any decent person would do.

Or you can control them with fear. You can make it sure that they know that if they ever say two plus two is five, they will be physically harmed or threatened with physical harm. You can lie and belittle and mistreat them in dozens of ways and any time they complain you can tell them that they deserve it for believing that two plus two is five. You can say that they’re not allowed to make even the smallest decisions for themselves (what to eat, how to dress, who to be friends with, what to read) because a person who believes two plus two is five shouldn’t be allowed to decide anything. You can isolate them from anyone you haven’t vetted (which means no friendships with anyone who is wrong about math, but also no friendships with anyone who says “obviously two plus two is four but there’s no need to hit people over it.”) The fact you are right about math doesn’t make it not abuse. You’ve abused them into believing something, and the fact that it is true doesn’t make the abuse ethical.

You’ve also severely damaged their ability to learn math. If they have a basket with two apples and they add two pears, they won’t be able to take an honest look about how many total fruits they have. They are only going to be able to think “I must have four fruits because I don’t want to get hurt again” or “I must have five fruits because there is no way on earth that despicable piece of shit can be right about anything after what they did to me.” You’ve done lasting and possibly permanent epistemic damage to this person. For a long time, maybe for the rest of their life, they will not be able to approach arithmetic with logic; they are going to come to a calculator with so much emotional baggage that they can’t be rational. They may genuinely need to espouse wrong beliefs about numbers because the only psychologically feasible alternative is espousing the (also wrong and more dangerous) belief that they deserve to be abused.

Almost everyone who commits ideological abuse thinks they are convincing their victims of the truth, and they think that this justifies the abuse. They are usually wrong about their ideas being true, but they are always wrong about their tactics being justified. I want anyone reading this to know that if you are seriously hurting someone to get them to believe you, it doesn’t matter that you are right. You have to find another way to do that. What you are doing does horrific damage and doesn’t even succeed in making people actually believe you, just in parroting you so that you will stop hurting them. You have to treat people who are wrong like people. Abusing someone into believing the truth doesn’t become okay because it’s the truth.

More importantly, I want you to know that if someone is using violence, the threat of violence or manipulation to control your beliefs, that is abuse. You do not deserve to be treated this way. You do not have to figure out right now whether what they are trying to make you believe is actually correct. You can leave (if it’s safe) or practice harm-reduction (if leaving isn’t safe yet) before you figure out whether or not they are telling the truth. It is not okay for them to do this to you, even if they are right.

You deserve to be safe. You deserve sovereignty over your own thoughts. Good luck. I love you.

are you autistic and gay?

lesbian and autistic perhaps?

an autistic pan or bisexual?

asexual and autistic?

trans or non binary and autistic?

any autistic member of the LGBTQ+ community?

well guess what...

you're fucken great and I love you

Piss off dude, just say your transphobic and fuck off. Seriously you went off an a kid fucking bastard, you were making jokes about “hey you don’t like colonialism, you probably hate the colonials lol!” Seriously dude just fuck off. I also say and praise a lot about other peoples headcanons and actively listen to them, I am allowed to disagree with yours and you are an adult going off on a kid. Fuck off.

Hello AT fandom, please be warned of a person called “averagebazfan” who’s going around and harassing people on tumblr.

Over here they have found and linked their tumblr on a discord server, if you see this person around BLOCK him immediately! Stay safe guys.

Sim, estou apaixonada.

referencia da pose  @beautyspock.

Part of my job is processing all the new incoming books and putting our property stamp on them and barcodes, so I get to also see all the adorable new kid's books too with wonderful gorgeous art in them but ANYWAYS THIS NEW ONE CAME IN AND

"It Feels Good To Be Yourself. A book about gender identity" written by Theresa Thorn and illustrated by Noah Grigni. The cover shows the four main characters, one is a transgender girl, two are nonbinary in different ways, and one is a cis boy who is the little brother to the trans girl.

I typically don't read the kids books even when they are super cute but this one I HAD to read. So I start reading. And I just--

Here's a few pages: (short image description below)

Quick image description: Above are 5 pictures I took of pages that I really liked and made me extra happy. The first two are back to back pages of the book's introduction of JJ, who is a wheelchair user and is "neither a girl or a boy" and uses they/them pronouns. This is the text from the next two back to back pages depicting the four friends playing outside and coloring on the sidewalk: "Some kids don't feel exactly like a girl or a boy -- they feel like neither. Some kids feel like their gender identity isn't always the same -- it's often changing." [Next page] "And even with all these possible ways to be, some kids don't feel like any of the words they know fit them exactly right. There are a never-ending number of ways to be yourself in the world." The last page shows Ruthie after she came out to her parents as transgender. Her whole family (mom, dad, little brother, her, and a dog on the side) are hugging. The text reads "Oops! Ruthie was a girl all along -- they just didn't know it at first." End ID.

SO OBVIOUSLY IM ALMOST SOBBING AT WORK NOW OMG

This book is absolutely beautiful and so sweet and I encourage everyone to go see if they can borrow it at their library. It's a quick 2-3 min read, maybe 15 if you start getting emotional like my queer little heart did. I'm assuming there's a regular print version more widely available, and maybe a LT version too, and if my Hawaii library has a copy of the braille version I'm guessing others already have it too.

OH AND HERE'S THE BACK COVER I DIDNT NOTICE UNTIL AFTER I PROCESSED IT AND THIS PART REALLY GOT ME OKAY (text written below)

"No matter what your gender identity is, you are okay exactly the way you are. And you are loved."

to my polyamorous followers

God loves you

You are welcome here

You’re not sinning by loving how you love

Your love is beautiful

Your sexuality is divine

Your partners are loved by God

I’m praying for your happiness and relationship to God

You deserve happiness

You deserve acceptance in your faith

#stophootyabuse