Happy Autism Awareness Day To All The Girls Who Had “ Friends” Growing Up Who Were Actually Bullying

Canon Remus was not a hardened orphan living in a group home. He was a chronically ill child raised by loving parents that were willing to FIGHT DUMBLEDORE to protect him. (Literally, Lyall DILF Lupin thought he was coming to take Remus away when Dumbledore personally delivered Remus' Hogwarts Letter)

So no, Remus was not a smooth-talking 7-ft-tall Casanova badass sex God with rippling muscles. He had zero friends before attending Hogwarts due to the fact that his loving parents kept him isolated out of fear that their son's Lycanthropy would be discovered, which would have ruined his life.

Canon Remus was most likely a timid, awkward, sheltered kid that was afraid of his own shadow because Hogwarts would be such an overwhelming experience for a little boy that has never interacted with another child in his LIFE and probably never even left his own home before. I imagine that books were his only connection to the outside world, which is why I can't stand the HC that he is completely illiterate when he first arrives at Hogwarts

tldr, Remus Lupin is the love of my life and is one of the few Marauders era characters with an actual backstory and personality, but this fandom just refuses to move on from a singular fic that completely rewrote everything about him.

And I'm not even going to start on how the Alpha Male-ification of Remus has also resulted in the complete assassination of Sirius' character for the sake of internalized heteronormativity that runs rampant in this fandom.

Canon Remus was not a hardened orphan living in a group home. He was a chronically ill child raised by loving parents that were willing to FIGHT DUMBLEDORE to protect him. (Literally, Lyall DILF Lupin thought he was coming to take Remus away when Dumbledore personally delivered Remus' Hogwarts Letter)

So no, Remus was not a smooth-talking 7-ft-tall Casanova badass sex God with rippling muscles. He had zero friends before attending Hogwarts due to the fact that his loving parents kept him isolated out of fear that their son's Lycanthropy would be discovered, which would have ruined his life.

Canon Remus was most likely a timid, awkward, sheltered kid that was afraid of his own shadow because Hogwarts would be such an overwhelming experience for a little boy that has never interacted with another child in his LIFE and probably never even left his own home before. I imagine that books were his only connection to the outside world, which is why I can't stand the HC that he is completely illiterate when he first arrives at Hogwarts

tldr, Remus Lupin is the love of my life and is one of the few Marauders era characters with an actual backstory and personality, but this fandom just refuses to move on from a singular fic that completely rewrote everything about him.

And I'm not even going to start on how the Alpha Male-ification of Remus has also resulted in the complete assassination of Sirius' character for the sake of internalized heteronormativity that runs rampant in this fandom.

I never listen to men’s opinions in general but ESPECIALLY when it comes to movies. you’re going to tell, as a man, that the barbie movie was bad? you just can’t possible understand the complexities of the transition between girlhood and womanhood that happens before it should. you have no idea what it’s like to cling so desperately onto your own imagination as an adult after spending your pre-teen/teenage years pretending that playing with dolls and wearing pink was so beneath you. you don’t understand fighting with your mother only to one day realize she is living through you and doing all that she can to make sure you go leap and bounds further than her. men couldn’t possible grasp the impact watching Barbie herself cry and say she wasn’t perfect or pretty anymore, when your whole childhood was built around carrying her in your backpack and knowing that one day you’ll be the president, an astronaut, and a model because she was. because she was yours and you were her! yeah, the movie was silly and funny and self aware and maybe you don’t think it’s “that deep”, but as a woman you just get it. as someone growing up still in your childhood bedroom that no longer has a dream house but the dolls are still above you in the attic because you can’t throw them out, you get it

Long post incoming, but I've been on and off it for days so you're gonna see it.

On Charles and Love

I think there's a lot more to Charles' reaction to Edwin's confession than what we may first assume.

Charles loves harder than anyone, but I don't think he even knows what it means or feels like to be IN love--or to be loved back. This isn't a dig at Edwin, so don't @ me. This has to do with Charles' past.

When Edwin first confesses on the steps of Hell, Charles doesn't even hesitate with his response: "Great, love you too, can we go now?" He does love Edwin, one way or another. He hasn't needed to examine that love any further. He doesn't think Edwin could mean it that way, because Edwin probably has never given any indication of feeling that for anyone. Perhaps he didn't think Edwin capable of love in that way. Perhaps it's his own repressed sexuality. Perhaps it's the feeling that he is inherently unlovable. Perhaps it's a combination of things.

On Edwin's and Charles' Repression

Look, Edwin is clearly autistic and heavily emotionally repressed--he's British, from 1916, and male. That's the perfect storm of emotional repression. But he clearly feels and feels deeply--he just doesn't always let on about it. (Which is such a nice thing to see for autistic representation, the "unfeeling alien" trope ain't it.)

And even though they've been together for 30 years, they clearly do not talk about deep emotions much, because it makes Edwin uncomfortable and Charles probably wouldn't manage to get much out before cracking a joke instead--it's his defense mechanism.

As for his own repression, Charles grew up in the 80s as a biracial kid with an abusive father. He was also at least questionably queer while alive: he was part of an alt crowd, wore eyeliner, and wore a single dangly earring. Now that doesn't mean for certain he's queer or questioning, but it IS a pretty common code in media and storytelling. And I imagine no small part of his father's excuses for abusing Charles had to do with "beating the queer out of him." Of COURSE that led to repression--how could it not?

On Feeling Unlovable

And the feeling that he's inherently unlovable? Does he really feel that way? I think so.

He wants it. He wants to be loved so badly. And because of that, he tries so hard. He tries to stay light and happy and kind, even when he's suffering underneath--he has his own flavor of emotional repression. Because if he can't be loved, he can at least be liked.

And he doesn't just want people to like him, he needs them to like him, because he needs to know he's likable. Because there's safety in being likable. There's safety in being funny and friendly and "a good sort of chap." It's proof he's not the monster his father was--the monsters his friends were. It's his shield. The shield he uses to protect himself from the world, yes, but also to protect the world from him. Or at least, who he thinks he is, deep down.

It's also, in his mind, his only chance at being loved. His only chance at staying loved. Because love is earned. Because love is the reward for good behavior. At least, that's how it was as a kid, right? And that's all he knows. He died before he could experience any other kind of love--besides the love between himself and Edwin, which is its own complicated matter.

The other difficult aspect of growing up in a household where love and affection were weaponized and where violence is an acceptable reaction to anger, is how it radically alters your perception of love and family.

You crave the love and validation you never received, but you also fear it and don't believe it's real when it comes without strings.

You struggle to identify love in healthy relationships because if it doesn't hurt, then is it really love?

And even though you crave it more than anything, you're afraid of it. You're afraid for things to get real, because real love--or your understanding of it--is dangerous.

Because love is a weapon and you can't bear for anyone to use it against you again.

Hurt People Hurt People...Sometimes

Trauma manifests differently in each person. There are some commonalities, but it's never exactly the same. I know the saying is "hurt people hurt people" and that's not entirely wrong. But sometimes, hurt people heal people--or at least try to. Charles is in the second group.

Charles never, ever wants anyone to feel the kind of love he knew while he was alive. So he paradoxically loves openly while remaining guarded. His loyalty and devotion are unmatched. He went to Hell for Edwin. But he also never told Edwin the truth about his father until essentially forced to. Because that involves vulnerability. It involves, in his eyes, weakness. And what did vulnerability and "weakness" get him in life? Well...dead.

But he craves reciprocation. He needs to feel like he can be vulnerable, safely. I don't think that Edwin has done anything to make him feel unsafe, but being that they're both emotionally surpressed boys killed by other boys for perceived weaknesses at 16 and the lack of a ghost therapist...it's not all that surprising they haven't dealt with their issues in 30 years.

I think this is why he latches onto Crystal so quickly and easily. Firstly, she's alive: he can at least pretend to ignore his own death for a bit. Secondly, she's his age (sort of) and can see him, which is an uncommon experience at best. Thirdly, again--she's alive, so it can never last--never be real. Either she'll age beyond him, or she'll die and likely be taken to her afterlife. Which he'll happily ignore for the first two reasons.

On Types of Love

I won't get too into this, because I'm in no way an expert in the wide variety of emotions attributed to love. But I will say this: Charles died at 16.

If we set aside the possibility of him being aromantic for now (which he absolutely could be), he may never have had the chance to fall in love while he was alive. If he could even recognize it for what it was. I mean, I'm in my 30s, been married and divorced twice, and I'm still not sure I've ever been in love. At 16, you're drowning in hormones and it can be hard to decipher feelings.

On Arrested Development

If you think about it, his death and subsequent ghostly afterlife are a supernatural version of the arrested development a lot of child abuse survivors experience. But his development arrested literally--he literally CAN'T grow up. At least, not physically.

He may have had 30 years to address his issues, but why would he have thought to? He doesn't have the same responsibilities or needs as a living adult. He's constantly on the job or on the run from Death, he's living with Emotional Repression the Person (my beloved), and frankly...it hurts to examine those problems. How many adults are actively avoiding their own issues?

On the Confession

Edwin, with the most heartwrenching tone of voice since David "I would like to spend" Tennant, makes clear that he's IN love with Charles. And for a moment Charles looks like he's been walloped in the gut with an iron bar, trying to process. But then the trauma-brain kicks in.

He finds the first "logical" explanation to someone (Edwin) telling him they love him: it's a literary reference, and Edwin is...maybe not "messing" with him, but maybe being extra dramatic about this? It can't be real.

But then Edwin gets upset--he's serious about this. And Charles sort of...short-circuits. He can't process this right now, not when they're running for their afterlives. Not when the Night Mother is waiting to split them up. Not when he's barely even begun to process his trauma. So he does everything he can to make sure Edwin knows that, no matter what, he loves him. Maybe not in the same way, but with the same depth.

Because they'll have time. They'll have all the time in the world to figure out what this means. Because they certainly don't right now, and everything Edwin is saying flies directly in the face of every opinion Charles has ever held about himself.

And what the hell is he supposed to do with that?

The legend of Zelda: breath of the wild fanart! ( ╹▽╹ )

absolutely enamoured with edwin and niko’s friendship. they are so perfectly on the opposite ends of the same scale that they loop back around to being exactly the same. same weirdness different fonts. true tism4tism bestie rep i adore them

the byler fandom is dying!!1! reblog if you are a true bylerer!

These movies made me who I am

Has this one been done yet?

what if I was slowly dying of internal bleeding and hypothermia and you stayed with me and read to me. Because you know I'm dying and you don't want me to be alone and scared (like you were). And what if I chose You, instead of heaven?