SFW

here's the nikolai art that i slowly worked on every time i wanted to procrastinate on an exam close-ups + template!! ↓

It is 2 am and I certainly don't have time to be spamming a tumblr's inbox...... but

The other anon commenting about Nikolai being romantic just gave me something to rant about omg. Because i've seen so many people misunderstand Nikolai and genuinely call him insane and a crazy sadist like... ahhsjkdaksjjdks it runs me up the walls

First of all Nikolai's philosophy partially derives off him being inherently good. He wants to escape the mind, emotions it gives, and to sum it up his humanity; so he does things that is against his own self. One is killing. Nikolai literally sees murder and torture as something that is opposite to what his humanity makes him. that's why he does it. And even after mutilating unknown amounts of people he still feels guilt, he still feels emotion (i've seen others say that he was lying to atsushi during that whole speech about his guilt but i don't think so?? He took off his eyepatch, which in every single scene he's done so he's shown to be telling the truth of his character. It's a signifier, a literal 'unmasking'. And he says to himself, when Atsushi says he doesn't get nikolai's ideology that "only dos-kun understands" inferring him being truthful. Plus how he reacts to Fyodor's death which will be covered, too), he still hasn't parted completely from his guilt, empathy, humanity.

And Nikolai loves dearly. Deeply he feels for those who GET him. Nikolai craves connection, another thing he attempts to distance himself from, and found that in Fyodor. And he loves so dearly that once he thinks Fyodor is dead he betrays going against his ideology to do something so human for him; getting down on his knees, bringing Fyodor's severed hand to his face, and mourning him. It took a man who knew him for a brisk time and had to only understand him to be enough for Nikolai to crumble for, at least just once. And it proves after all this mental anguish he's caused himself, he still isn't numb and he will probably never be "free". But I also think because of this all, Nikolai, if given the right set of circumstances, would be a deeply intimate and beautiful human being.

If this makes you lower your word count limits I am so sorry 😭 (i checked, this has (updated) 450...)

Final message: Nikolai is lovely, so so tragic, I need his backstory, need him to crush my head between his thighs and dry hump my face till he cums in his pants, I don't know how to make words on this app small, and your writing is amazing i'm going to sleep now goodnight

i do believe nikolai is a deeply sentimental person at heart. but i also think his insanity and sadism is a part of him. i like to think that, over time of trying to be as monstrous just to detach himself from being humane—perhaps he does feel some kind of euphoria when hurting someone, as he knows he's doing something that's beyond humane. but i also think that euphoria is just temporary, since we can agree that he does feel guilty for murdering and hurting people. and mayhaps, his sadism is also a way for him to cope with his guilt.

i definitely agree that if he's brought up in different circumstances, he could be a very empathetic person. i mean, he is already empathetic to his victims where he made them believe he's just a monster

The bell had rung minutes ago, indicating the dismissal of classes. Rei was in his usual place performing his duty. No one bothered to loiter around the library after school.

As always, the room was filled with silence. Not even his steps could be heard nor the sounds of students chattering around. But even with all the tranquility given, his thoughts plague with the very same thing. The very same matter that had taken a toll on him.

What did he do to make this happen? Why was Eli distancing himself away from him? Did he upset him? Did he do something wrong? He doesn't know, and it continues to haunt him to this day. It's sickening. He hates it. Why is he letting this affect him?

Maybe he shouldn't have trusted that man to begin with. Was this a punishment? A lesson to learn? A joke? A lie? Were his actions never sincere? Was he too stupid to let his guard down?? Even liking him more than that??!

Their face twists into a scowl. The fact that their entire friendship was being completely thrown away just like that twitches his eyebrows. He's mad- mad that he refused to take action, mad that you refused to spit something back to him.

With all the storm taking up his mood, they didn't realize that they had wandered too far just from pondering too much. Just when Rei turns to a corner, he freezes in place as a lump catches his throat.

Eli?????

The very familiar student stands before them, placing a book back to its own place. Did they forget to tidy this area? He doesn't remember, but that's not the thing, Eli is right in front of him.

He was fixated on his little task, and took out another one after doing so. On the other hand, Rei was frozen on the other side, his body suddenly felt wayy heavier than before.

The sounds of pages shuffling against each other accompanied the silence between them. Has Eli noticed them yet? Should he approach him? Of course, damn it!! This is his chance!! And maybe his last for fuck's sake. He has to move, move!!!

With a gulp of anxiety, Rei reaches out an arm, a shaky one to be precise. And places it on the other one's shoulder, who was actually aware of their presence long ago.

Eli turns to his side, acting surprised to see his so-called friend. He could see the desperation in his eye, a silent yet intense look of hopelessness within it.

The boy opens his mouth, only to feel like his breath caught up into his throat. He's finally looking at you— acknowledging your presence! Why are you suddenly acting like this?!

"E-El...i..?" They force out, feeling the urge to cough after uttering a simple name.

Eli only hums in response, he was slightly surprised. He knew that he was close to Rei but didn't actually expect for him to have the courage to strike a conversation.

Rei's breath hitched upon earning a reply. He was desperate for any forms of interaction that a wave of relief washed through them just by receiving the bare minimum. Tears well up in their eyes, that was it. That was enough for him to break down in front of Eli.

"I'm sorry.. I'm sorry for everything.. I'm sorry for what I did— I-I'm sorry..! I'm so sorry—!"

He clings onto him so tight, fearing that he might let go and leave him again at any moment.

This wasn't the first time Rei had broken their composure and slipped away their self-control, yet Eli couldn't help but be taken aback by the scene. He has never seen Rei in this state before.

And it's all because of him, too. This all started because of his resentful attitude. He wanted what's best for Rei. It was purely an act for their sake, he didn't want to be a burden to them. After all, he's nothing but a bad influence.

Their voice was muffled under Eli's uniform, but he could make out a few apologies and hiccups from all the crying. Rei's actions were childish, impulsive, and completely a random burst of emotions. But what else could he do after all the repressed feelings he had endured for weeks?

Then they kissed. It was passionate like you asked. Gay too.

"Wha.."

"Actions speak louder than words, right?"

And they made out.

🎀🎯🍬🍭

back on my bullshit

How tall is Crowe (I'm drawing him rn now/with other characters and I can't remember how tall he is I haven't played the VN in a minute but I don't think it mentioned his height on there)

Here's an ID card that I shared last year with some info about him! Crowe is 177 cm/ 5'10 tall!

Idv get OUT of my mind I didn't gave ya permission to make me obsessed by another irreversible brain damaged man, I ALREADY HAVE ENOUGH OF THEM ON MY LIST LET ME REST.

You know how identity v had a line friends crossover well how would naib react to having to wear his line friends skin that sounds like the perfect revenge for being mean

oh he would be damn pissed 😭 watch him refuse to move in a match bc of that bear suit...it's comfortable to sleep with though.

Identity V x Lawson collaboration is currently in full swing!

The Manor Convenience Store is open today as well 🎵

I wonder what the staff are talking about?

The staff are all different, but will they be able to handle the customers well? Let's take a look together!

(Read from right to left)

Narrator : There's a new convenience store in the manor!

Annie : Welcome customer~

Orpheus : So, protecting the smiles of our customers is of course opening up our own potential through the experience of serving customers... I hope everyone has a refreshing experience like this!

Annie : You talk like some sort of a store manager

Orpheus : I looks the most like a store manager

Annie : Wages...I wonder how much they are paid per hour...

Matthias : I want to eat fried chicken...

Andrew : It's so hot I don't want to clean outside...

Louis : I'm afraid of customer service

Everyone : I want my wages!!!

Naib : This convenience store makes me feel a lot of worldly desires and distractions...

Naib : There's not even a trace of freshness...

Norton : Can I work here?

Ithaqua : Your uniform is not included, no way~