Veneziano : But Just When All Seemed Lost I Had An Epiphany

veneziano : but just when all seemed lost i had an epiphany

*cut to veneziano 2 days earlier sprawled on the couch, germany and japan in the same room doing their own stuff*

veneziano : I AM GOING TO THROW MYSELF INTO THE SEA.

Dilemma-- Aaron Burr x sick!Reader

female pronouns. reader likes to pretend they aren't actually sick. sicfic.

Someday, when you were out of school and working your dream job, you would be able to take a sick day. A sick day where you could relax, take it easy, feel like crap and *not have to worry about studying and homework and projects due in three days.

Ah yes. Someday.

But today is, unfortunately, not that day. So far your day had been filled with skimming through your textbook, frantically taking notes in an effort to keep up with the class, hot tea, and multiple near-vomit incidents.

You had managed on your own so far, you had eaten, showered, swept and studied. All before lunch. Though you hadn't felt well enough to actually eat lunch...oh well.

You glance at the wall mounted clock from your position on the couch, *twelve twenty-four. Crap, Aaron was coming over for that study session in a bit. You re-did your hair and set your supplies on your ‘school shelf’ before brushing your teeth once more and changing out of your pajamas and into something a great deal more presentable.

You checked yourself over in the mirror, hopefully, now you could pass as someone who had left the house that day. Of course, Aaron wouldn't think any less of you for looking about as well as you felt, but maybe feeling fresh would help you focus...on the material, of course.

The doorbell rang right after you had finished organizing all the supplies you would need for the study jam. You opened the front door to the sight of Aaron standing there in sneakers, jeans, a light coat, and scarf, as well as a messenger bag slung over his shoulder.

“Hey, (Y/N).” It's a marvel how his smooth voice flowed with such composure and warmth even when uttering something as simple as an obligatory greeting.

You shook yourself out of your musings, “Hey, Aaron. Come right in.” You showed him to the dining room and had him sit as you got the pair of you bottles of water. You came back and set yourself down in the seat next to him, feeling hopeful for the first time that day that you might actually get some work done, and perhaps feel a bit better, but you were sure that was from the change of clothes.

The two of you got to it, divvying out chapters and taking notes, comparing and discussing information, then doing it all over again. The comfortable rhythm went on for about an hour or so, but you could feel yourself losing steam, and fast. It was fine though, all you had to do was make it through this next half hour- then Aaron would be gone and you could go back to letting yourself feel the full effects of the heaven forsaken illness in peaceful solitude.

Oh, no. Aaron didn't know you were sick. No one knew you were sick. Was it weird that you didn't want anyone to know? Maybe, but for some reason you preferred to ride it out alone than have people losing their heads over one little cold.

“Achoo!” Dang it, that was the third time in the past six minutes, any more and he might start suspecting something. And the ever-growing pile of tissues in the small trash can beside you was certainly not helping your case.

You took a swig of your water bottle, hoping to drown the coughing fit that was trying to force its way up your throat, your tiered frame shaking with the effort. The sudden drop in the rooms’ temperature was really prevalent now, when had that happened?

Rubbing your hands together and clenching your jaw, you focused on keeping your teeth from chattering on top of everything else. You risked a glance over at Aaron to see if he had picked up on your odd behavior yet. Nothing. He was still focused on his reading. Good. You yourself couldn't help but notice how peaceful he looked like that, the intent and purpose with which he studied, how relaxed he seemed sitting in the afternoon sun...

A shiver ran down your spine. It was even colder now, how? And why was Aaron unaffected?

Speaking of sneezes, you could feel a nasty one building up in your nose. Oh dear, not here, not now. But it was fine, you only had- you whipped your head up to check the time and your hope, like your gut, plummeted. --twenty-two minutes left.

Ok. So maybe you were doomed.

You grabbed the nearby throw blanket you had been resisting for the sake of attempted normality and pulled it tight around your now noticeably shivering frame.

You reached for another tissue, only for your hand to knock over an empty box.

Great.

The pressure in your nose was nearly at its peak. You shot up, nearly toppling your chair in a rush to make it to the kitchen where hopefully you still had some napkins left-

“ACHOO!” The sneeze was too much for your poor lungs and sent you into another coughing fit. You grabbed a couple paper towels from the counter and wiped off the snot and mucus that had escaped your nose and mouth.

You sigh. So much for your previous notion.

“(Y/N)? Are you ok?”

Crap.

You slowly turned around to find Aaron leaning against the kitchen doorway, concern shining through those warm brown eyes of his.

“Um, well,” you shuffled and looked down at your feet, mumbling a quiet “I guess I've been feeling a little off today.” that came out as more of a question.

“A little off?” He repeated, skeptical. “(Y/N), you're shaking like a leaf.” He moved further into the room.

“What? N-no. I’m totally-” your feeble protest was cut off by another violent sneeze.

Aaron raises an eyebrow. “You’re totally…?”

You scowl at his triumphant smirk. Which quickly slips away when the sneeze demons decide they’ve had enough of your lungs and would much prefer some sunshine.

Aaron sighed and put a hand on your shoulder. Steering you toward your bedroom. “Now, (Y/N), you’re going to your closet, throw some more layers on, curl up in bed, then sit around like a bum and let me take care of you.”

“What? No! You’re my guest! I can’t just let you-”

“And none of that BS. You can’t just pretend you actually follow proper social etiquette whenever it’s convenient.”

“Done it before and I’ll do it again.”

Aaron rolled his eyes. “Stay.” then he shut you in your room. “I’m making you some toast, ok?” you hear him call from the kitchen.

You opt to ignore him and rummage through your closet for a fresh sweater, your old one was three days worn and stinky, you had thrown it in the wash after your shower. Shame, it was the thickest sweater you owned.

Once bundled you paused. You could hear Aaron rummaging about the kitchen, he would probably take a few minutes. Perhaps you could sneak away while he was distracted? No, that wouldn’t do any good, he was still in your house. Plus, you didn’t feel like you could make it more than a block. You were too tired, too cold and too reluctant.

You laid down, sleep did sound rather inviting at the moment...but no. Not while Aaron was still here, it’d just give him an excuse to be right!

Moments stretch into minutes. Minutes that feel like hours. Despite the extra layers you’ve put on, the chill has only gotten worse. Creeping into your bones and mind. Dulling everything, until the only thing you can register is cold. So, so very cold. Even under your blankets and sweaters and sweat, even though the fever you know has jumped up, all you can feel is the cold.

Faintly, you hear the door creak open and Aaron’s voice penetrate the stillness. You can’t make out a word he says.

The bed dips next to you, a hand tucks the blankets in closed around your body and readjusts your pillows. It then moves to your forehead and seems to be displeased by what it finds, because it retreats for a minute or two. It appears again, this time shifting you into an upright position and placing a small cup into your hands, tipping it up toward your mouth till you start moving on your own accord.

The cup is drained. The hand takes it, soothing you back down into your previous position.

The hand retreats, and only then do you realize how good the heat it gave off felt.

You hand reaches out and finds the heat again. Finally, you’re able to fall asleep.

When you opened your eyes again the light streaming through the window was lower and warmer. Peeking through the blinds at a near horizontal level. Almost sunset, then. You felt, different. Somehow…

Oh.

The cold.

It was gone.

Relief and excitement sprang up in your gut, but not too much, as you were still very keen on enjoying the lulling pull of sleep on your limbs. The softness of the blankets and comfortable heat encompassing your body was enough to make you forget about the mild sheen of sweat clinging to your skin.

You shift just the slightest bit as you try and settle farther into the covers, but then you don’t. Because there was a kind of...weight. Resting on you. You then realize that the heat is coming from behind you, and there’s something wrapped around your waist. Shifting around as carefully as you could, you turn your head to look behind you.

Any leftover feelings of restfulness vanished. Your gut dropped like a stone and you struggled to resist the urge to leap out of bed.

Carefully, very carefully, you try and wiggle out of his grip. You’d almost removed his arm from where it was draped over your shoulders when he gave a small hum and pulled you back against his chest.

You held yourself still for a minute. Two minutes. Three; until you were sure he was asleep. Then you again attempted to move his arm off. Successful in that you moved onto the laborious process of inching ever so slowly out of the grip of your sleeping friend. You let out a small sigh of relief when you felt the floor underneath your toes as you placed a foot upon the ground. You gently placed a hand on the empty mattress to steady yourself and pushed off, slowly coming to stand in a semi-upright position. You had almost gotten your other foot off the bed when you felt it snag in the mounds of sheets. For a moment you could feel regret, panic, and dread churn your gut. And then you crashed into the floor.

You groan as pain courses through your hip, arm, and foot. The mattress groans and creaks as the weight on it moves. Aaron’s head peeked over the side of the bed, sunshine coating the ceiling above him.

“Holy- oh my goodness, (Y/N)?” He rolled off the bed and kelt at your side, offering a hand and pulling you up to your feet. “Are you okay?”

You murmur a quick confirmation, heat scorching your face, and not from a fever.

Once the two of you are standing, you think you see Aaron’s eyes linger on the bed, and then down to the ground where you had fallen, and then back to you as if he’s trying to figure out the parameters of the situation. When you see a flash of panic flicker in his eyes, you assume he has done so and busy yourself by staring at your sock-clad feet.

He clears his throat and your head shoots up. There’s a pause where the two of you avoid each other’s eyes almost religiously, and then he’s speaking again.

“So- uh, (Y/N)...you feeling any better?” He squirms for a moment as you try to regain some composure. When you finally murmur a quick affirmative he brightens a bit, straightening his shoulders and glancing back at the bed. “You uh..slept well, I hope?”

You looked back down at your socks. “Umm, yeah. Yeah, I slept just fine.”

“Great! That’s great, I just- well- uh. I should really get going right about now. Sorry we didn’t get much done,”

“No, no! I should be the one apologizing for that, really. But you’re right. You do have work about now, huh?”

Aaron nods, making one more visual sweep around the room before moving toward the exit. He stopped at the door, “Are you, uh, sure you'll be ok?”

“Yeah, yeah, I'll be fine.”

“Um, well I'm pretty sure both John and Angelica are off from work right about now, so if you need anything be sure to call them ok?” He said, shifting his weight between feet.

“Yeah, ok.”

“So...see you later?”

“Mhmm, see you later.”

“Bye.”

Only when you hear the front door shut do you allow yourself to relax again.

It's not that you didn't like it; you did. And very much so. That was the problem. Aaron was your friend! Friend. And that's all he would ever be. You came to college to study and get an education, not to get a boyfriend or whatever. You didn't have time for all that lovey-dovey nonsense. You had more important things to do like…like...

“Uhg!” You rolled over, searching for your phone. There was no way you'd get any study or sleep done if you kept thinking about, well, that. It made your stomach flip. More than it had been.

You finally found your cell and unlocked it, pulling up one of your more frequently used contacts.

TheReal(Y/N): Jelly!

AngieChan: (Y/N)!

TheReal(Y/N): I have problem!

AngieChan: can u punch it???

TheReal(Y/N): no :(

AngieChan: darn.

AngieChan: but srsly, spill.

TheReal(Y/N): uhh…

TheReal(Y/N): well…

AngieChan: (y/n)...|:( ...what is it???

TheReal(Y/N): ok, so, Aaron came over for our study session but I wasn't feeling too well and he made me go lie down and take some medicine but I was really out of it (and cold) by then and when he tried to get up sleepy me must have wanted to steal his warm away and so we fell asleep like that and we only woke up like, ten minutes ago and now I'm really confused about what to do and how to handle this because whAT the heckerdoodles my life has suddenly turned into a cheesy rom-com o no o deer o golly helpmeAngelicaSchuylerurmyonlyhope.

AngieChan: ...

AngieChan: (y/n) do u… do u like Aaron?

TheReal(Y/N): what???

AngieChan: o and also u not feeling well? Why did I not kno?!?

TheReal(Y/N): no, Angelica, that does not help me in my current situation.

TheReal(Y/N): and sorry~ I didn't tell anyone I was sick so...

AngieChan: u sure? Abt the “not crushing on Aaron” thing, I mean.

TheReal(Y/N): what do u mean “u sure?” Of course I'm sure. I'm trying to figure out how to approach this with Aaron tomorrow -not whether my life is even more of a bad YA romance novel.

AngieChan: cuz, I was reading in between the lines just now and it almost sounds like u have a bit of a crush on him???

TheReal(Y/N): well of course I was a bit flustered I had just woken up snuggling the life out of one of my guy friends!

TheReal(Y/N): besides, how on earth did u come to that conclusion for my text?

AngieChan: I mean like, there's nothing wrong with having a crush u kno. I'm just a bit surprised.

TheReal(Y/N): jelly! Ur not helping!

AngieChan: don't get me wrong, I'm happy for u gurl, I've just never heard u talk about liking someone ya know?

TheReal(Y/N): omg. Angelica. What part of HELP do u not understand?

AngieChan: I really did not see this coming.

TheReal(Y/N): Angie.

AngieChan: Aaron, of all people.

TheReal(Y/N): Angelica.

AngieChan: actually I think you guys would make a great couple.

TheReal(Y/N): Angelica Schuyler.

AngieChan: wow I ship it.

TheReal(Y/N): k, first off. I do not have a crush on Aaron.

AngieChan: riiight.

TheReal(Y/N): second, you would be embarrassed about waking up like that too.

AngieChan: mhmm~

TheReal(Y/N)TheReal(Y/N): and third, you're making my headache worse I'm going back to sleep.

AngieChan: make sure to check for wild boyfriends;)

TheReal(Y/N): I hate u.

AngieChan: luv u 2 have a nice nap!

You smother your groan in your pillow. Talking to Angelica had not helped. At all. You checked the time. Six forty-three PM. The sun hadn't set yet… you debated getting out of bed to go make some rice or something.

Nah, food could wait till the morning, after you'd gotten a bit more rest.

You rolled out of bed (with great difficulty) and straightened the numerous blankets covering your mattress. Why were they so much more tangled than usua- oh. Yeah. Who knew cuddling messed up sheets so much?

You felt your face heat up. What on earth? Was your fever getting worse? Should you go to the doctor after all?

The heat in your cheeks subsided, did that mean your fever was getting better?

You were honestly too tired to care right now, the pull of sleep dominating all other thoughts. You could figure it all out tomorrow.

Yeah, tomorrow. When you weren't preoccupied with unhelpful friends and how much colder your bed felt without-

Nope. Nope. No no no. Sleep now, sleepy times, you're asleep. You're too exhausted to think right now.

And apparently, you were, because not a minute later you were out cold once again.

AN: So, yeah. That's the chapter… I'm debating whether I should write another chapter from Aaron's POV. Or whether I should write another part to this at all. Depends on the response I get for this one honestly.

But you probably don't care. Anyway, luv u lots!

XOXO- QueendomofCrows

🌼how to restart learning a language🌼

i’ve recently gone through a language break, taking 5 months out to reassess my future. i really want to get back to learning Japanese, so here are my tips for restarting that language you might have been neglecting!

reassess your goals. its likely that if you’ve taken an extended break, your life has changed a little and there may be some new priorities taking over. reassess what you want to get out of restarting your language journey so it’s easier to plan around your day

make small targets that can be reached easily. for a short while, you’ll have to work hard to get your head back into the swing of learning a language. making small goals can really up your productivity because you wont be discouraged by big expectations at first!

slowly immerse yourself. immersion is widely known as a good supplement to your language learning. while you’re in the early stages of relearning a language, it’s really fun to start rewatching that subbed anime you lost track of, or listen to that spanish band you loved so much. it will help your brain get back ‘into’ the language, and you’ll have fun along the way!

revisit your notebooks. if you’re anything like me, you have a ton of notebooks and stacks of random note paper lying around untouched since you dropped out of your language. do your best to collect them up, sort through the useful stuff and then, get a blank notebook and rewrite all of your notes. your brain wont have forgotten everything but starting a new notebook will give you incentive to learn, as well as solidifying the information you already learnt!

take it slow. your brain is a muscle that needs exercising. if you havent been using your language brain for a while, don’t try and run a marathon without training first! there’s no rush. your journey is yours, and yours alone. take it as slow as you need to to start learning your language again and get back into the studying swing of things

🌼good luck on revisiting your language journey!🌼

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yourcrowsovereign

7 years ago

“How’s writing going so far?”

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yourcrowsovereign

7 years ago

Don’t armchair diagnose mass shooters and other killers. The misconception that all violent people must be mentally ill (and the following conclusion that all mentally ill people must be dangerous) has horrible real life consequences for visibly mentally ill people.

Schizophrenic people are 14 times more likely to be a victim of a violent crime than committing one because people assume that we’re homicidal and dangerous and may react very negatively to visibly mentally ill behavior, partly due to all the media portrayals of schizophrenics as violent killers.

50% of people killed by police are disabled or mentally ill (and the victims are disproportionately black or other people of color) because the unusual behavior of visibly disabled and visibly mentally ill people is read as inherently threathening and dangerous.

Please consider the real life consequences of reinforcing the association between mental illness and violence - people are dying because y'all want to blame all evil in the world on severe mental illness so that you can clearly separate yourself from it. You’re harming an already extremely vulnerable and marginalized group of people and it’s time to stop!

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