You: Suck My Dick Me, An Intellectual: Inhale My Richard

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ppl who celebrate fictional character birthdays are annoying pass it on

Shit man, this wizard war is fucked. I just saw a guy clap his hands together and say "the ten hells" or some similar shit, and every one around him turned inside out, had their tibia explode and then disappeared. The camera didn't even go onto him, that's how common shit like this is. My ass is casting frostbite and level 2 poison. I think I just heard "power word:scrunch" two groups over. I gotta get the fuck outta here.

yuri

>be me

>watch father get murdered right before my eyes at age 9

>become a respected public prosecutor

>15 years later (just before the statute of limitations runs out), father's killer's defense attorney asks to meet at the lake around midnight

>meet him

>row out to the middle of the lake together

>hear him say some cryptic shit

>watch him pull a gun and

>BANG

>BANG

>and he's gone

>what the fuck did he just shoot himself??

>pick up the gun in shock

>put the gun down

>stand there in the middle of the cold foggy lake

>row back to shore alone

>leave the gun there in the boat

>wander the shore in the cold, muttering to myself about what I just saw

>get questioned by police

>tell them nothing

>go home

>don't sleep (nightmares)

>get arrested the next morning

Merry Christmas???

Reblog to open a rail line from your blog to the person you reblogged this from

CAVEMAN DOING STANDUP: two moons ago, me daughter ask for new furs. no want mammoth or giant sloth, no, now want cheetah fur. me so tired of "fast fashion."

OTHER CAVEMAN: [plays a rimshot on two coconuts and a scallop shell]

Hello tumblr I heard you like changeling stories

Edit: If you want a physical copy of this comic!