Whatre Ur Thoughts On Superbat !!!

All three of us are on the same wavelength 🤝

NSFW/ 18+

I just think that Jason would gladly cockwarm for Clive while he’s researching. Just him in his knees with Clive’s cock in his mouth and Clive reads/ takes notes/ goes over diagrams.

the intimacy of "how do you know that?"

"because I know you."

tianlang jun is so wild. like imagine ur just chilling in your coffin and your favorite porn star is like hey are you using that? mind scooting over a bit? and hes like omg its Shen Qingqiu from the hit erotic ballad Regret of Chunshan! who i kidnapped! :D slay queen! mind giving my arm back? also r u fucking my son <;3

Bingge has been running himself ragged for MONTHS looking for HIS 'nice Shizun'.

What he doesn't know is that Shen Yuan transmigrated into wife #216 (the one from the sexy slime chapter...) the same night he came back and have been living his best life in the palace's library every day. He's been 'giving' his night with Bingge to the harem member who managed to sneak him in a 'Flower of Transing your Gender'.

It's kind of uncomfortable to wear a woman's clothes when he's just a totally normal straight guy, but he's FINE!! He's low enough on the totem pole that he is ignored for most of the harem drama and since he's a DUDE now he isn't pulled into any wife plots! Now he gets to study all the monsters he could ever want! Plus, just occasionally glimpsing the 'best wives' like Liu Mingyan, Sha Hauling, and Ningying is pretty cool, too!

Things are going GREAT until he passes by an upper courtyard one morning and finds a Beauty Devouring Harpy-Lizard has three wives cornered and is about to eat them! Oh no! Well, this is probably a wife plot, so Bingge will come any moment now to save them....

any moment now....

any moment....

...

WHERE is he???

Shen Yuan uses his new Beast Knowledge and his stolen body's mild cultivation to tame the lizard. Turns out it's just a juvenile and they can wean it off eating pretty women if they feed it enough regular meat! Now Shen Yuan has three women in his corner, too! They can help keep him off Bingge's radar while he stays in the palace!

Except... well... it keeps happening.

Beasts attack when Shen Yuan is nearby. Bingge doesn't show up. And then Shen Yuan has to deal with it! He's forming his own harem inside of the harem and he doesn't WANT that!!! Bingge will kill him!!!

It all comes to a head when one of the IMPORTANT wives, Ningying, is cornered by a Ravenous Rainbow Gem Tiger! Even using all of his cunning and smarts, Shen Yuan isn't sure he's going to make it! He manages to get Ningying out of there, but he's on the back ropes...

Then Bingge shows up just in time to save the day.

Oh and he looks BAD. Hair unkept, bags under his eyes, like he hadn't been eating; even with Airplane's shitty Cultivation rules the protagonist shouldn't look like this! Shen Yuan INSTANTLY starts fretting over him. Bingge doesn't seem that impressed, probably used to it by now and thinking that this is just gunna lead to The Usual Business. But he gets this little nagging feeling when Shen Yuan invites himself back to his chambers. Shen Yuan bullies him into bathing, brushes out his hair, makes him eat something, and gets him tucked all nicely into bed. And without a hint of papapa in sight!

In fact, Shen Yuan just... pats Bingge on the head and makes him promise he'll sleep and then leaves.

Bingge staring at the ceiling of his bed, taken care of, no sex expected... squints and has his 'wait a fucking minute' moment.

Do you guys think Shirtaloon ever checks for fanfiction of He Who Fights with Monsters?

Like do you think he threw out the idea of “Humphrey’s Big Engine” in hopes that some fan would write it? Just kicking his feet as he wrote the joke like “oh god, the shippers are going to LOVE this one!”

The chemistry Jason has with all the men on his team can’t be a mistake. Like that HAS to be intentional. He HAS to have written all their relationships as possible.

I refuse to believe otherwise.

Writers on a random Tuesday: Sits down, locks in, giggles, writes 10k, does not sleep

Also writers on a random Tuesday: writes one sentence and then stares into the abyss for five fours

I’m going to write something for Jack x Spencer from Tales from the Gas Station… they live rent free in my head. I have to. (Imma call them Jencer as coined by multi-lefaiye)

Here’s a(n unedited) snippet of what I’ve written so far:

The first time it happened, it was only a few minutes to midnight. Early enough for Jack’s shift to still be considered starting but late enough for absolutely nobody except for the odd passerby to walk in through the doors. With a good ten-something hours to go and few, if any, customers, Jack was content to sit slouched back in his chair with his ear plugs in and book in his lap.

An irritated hand flashed over the pages of his book, waving at him.

Jack frowned as he looked up. His ear plugs weren’t that good, surely he’d be able to hear if they just called out his name…

He froze as his gaze met the face of the man in front of him. Bright red hair styled up and an annoyed scowl set across strong features. Spencer fucking Middleton.

Jack’s hand instinctively darted out to grab the gas station landline, only to be stopped by Spencer, who aggravatedly pulled the phone away from him and took it off the hook. A sign that the phone line wasn’t cut and that, if Jack could find the time to pull it off, he could call O’Brien.

The psychopath’s mouth started moving, as if he was speaking, but Jack couldn’t hear anything he was saying.

“What?” He asked, and Spencer’s full body heaved with the force of his sigh. The psychopath gestured with his hands to his ears and that’s when Jack remembered his ear plugs. Right.

After debating the pros and cons of actually hearing the psychopath out, Jack reluctantly took them out. He set them on the counter where Spencer swiped them off onto the gas station floor. Well, Jack was never going to use those again.

“About time,” Spencer snarled. “Who the hell wears ear plugs at work?”

“You would too if you could hear the shit that happens at this place,” Jack muttered.

“What?” Spencer asked, and when Jack didn’t respond, he just shook his head. He then shoved his hand into his pocket and Jack braced himself for whatever it was going to be. It was way past the running away phase.

A poorly wrapped sandwich was tossed onto the table in front of him.

Jack flinched before staring at it, confused, and then looking back up at his arch nemesis.

“What?”

Spencer looked at the sandwich and then at Jack pointedly. Jack just furrowed his brows down at it and stared. For a while. Waiting for whatever torment Jack had planned for him tonight.

“Oh just eat it,” Spencer snarled, and Jack blinked up at him blankly, wondering if Spencer really thought he was that stupid, before pushing it back towards him.

“No thank you.”

“Why not?” Spencer demanded, having the audacity to actually look offended.

“I’m allergic to poison.”

SPOILERS FOR THE IMPERIAL UNCLE!!!

*Me rooting for Prince Huai to end up with Yun Yu the entire novel*

Yun Yu at the end, after Prince Huai confesses to him: Actually, we’re related. So no. We can never be together.

Me: ……………..

Betrayal.

I’m getting over it. I like Liu Tongyi. Just…. 😭

This for Jason.

I need him to have his mental breakdown in front of the team. Sobbing. Literally inconsolable. Not a single person knows what to do. But Jason cannot move and cannot stop crying and gasping like he suddenly needs air to breathe.

lovely character. i need him to finally break down sobbing clutching his chest like it'll stop the pain crumpling to the floor begging God to either help him or let him die

Modern AU where Shen Yuan accidentally sugar-daddies everyone.

So for the purposes of this, Shen Yuan's family is basically $10 Bananas levels of cluelessly rich. Shen Yuan has almost never had to look at the prices of anything he wants. He and his siblings all get an allowance from the family's main account, which increases when they reach adulthood, and in the interest of fairness his parents made it all the same size. So Shen Yuan gets the same amount of money for his daily living expenses as his older brothers with their penthouse apartments and vacation homes and private jets, at least from the family account (since he doesn't work, he doesn't actually make as much as them in total because they earn more on top of their allowances).

And the thing is, Shen Yuan genuinely just lives a lot more humbly. He likes people but what would he do with a vacation house? Anything really nice would probably require him to fly to get out there, and he gets sick as hell on planes. Living in the central city is also not great for him, because the air pollution is so bad. Having a whole house to himself would also be ridiculous. So he has a reasonable apartment, in a reasonable area, and he splurges every so often on purchases that make him happy and take-out food that he likes, and of course he pays a cleaning service to come in twice a week. Most people assume he's comfortably middle class and has some tech job he does from home, but he's been getting a lot more than he's been spending in his monthly allowances for years now, and the figures are big.

Enter into this environment author Airplane and his trash novels. Novels, multiple, because in this AU there's no PIDW, and instead after some alternate PIDW prototype got popular in the harem genre, Airplane decided to churn out a series of copy-paste shorter stories rather than recycling the same subplots in one massively long epic.

Shen Yuan of course discovers Airplane's writing and becomes as obsessed with it as ever, except this time he notices that if there are delays between new stories, they seem to clear up faster whenever he throws some cash at the problem. And also that the drops in Airplane's writing quality coincide with times when Shen Yuan was having health issues and not keeping up with his VIP purchases. So, he works out that Airplane's probably doing the writing for the money, and that when Peerless Cucumber isn't paying the most for it, Airplane starts listening to the other buffoons in the comment section more to try and entice them to pay his bills instead.

Peerless Cucumber leaves a comment on one of Airplane's latest stories that kicks off the two of them actually chatting, and Shen Yuan eventually gets to the point of offering to fund all Airplane's writing, in exchange for Airplane not doing his crap sellout stuff to appeal to other readers anymore. Airplane thinks he's joking or maybe mocking him. Shen Yuan asks how much it would cost. Airplane fires off a ridiculous number. Shen Yuan doesn't even blink and wires him the first payment. Then he gets annoyed because Airplane leaves him on read for a while, but that's because Airplane is staring at his account balance in shock.

Of course, it's Airplane who starts referring to Peerless Cucumber as his sugar daddy. Shen Yuan is just like "based on your sex scenes I don't think anyone would pay you for that" and Airplane's all "but you WOULD pay for my sex scenes ^_~" and Shen Yuan's like "technically I am actually paying you not to write that shit" and so on. Usual banter. The quality of Airplane's writing improves dramatically, a lot of his readership drops off but he does get new readers and gradually builds up an even bigger fanbase than before, and so on, it all goes pretty well. He eventually writes a few things that take off to the point of getting physical publications and international translations. Technically Airplane no longer needs Shen Yuan to pay all of his bills by that point but he's not going to tell Shen Yuan that! The contract's still good as long as he keeps writing!

Then one of Airplane's online acquaintances runs into some financial trouble and asks for help.

Liu Mingyan used to beta read for Airplane back when he wrote fanfiction (she was like thirteen, Airplane was unaware because internet and hey free beta), and it seems her family has hit a rough patch. She wants tips on how to go pro, but Airplane explains that it was extremely difficult and he mostly lucked out by finding a single wealthy backer. Mingyan wonders if the same guy would be interested in her writing, Airplane sadly thinks not because Mingyan exclusively writes kinky danmei erotica and Peerless Cucumber seems pretty firmly in the closet still and also generally prefers plotty and world-building heavy stuff.

But like, Airplane has definitely gotten a vibe off of Cucumber-bro, and Mingyan's gorgeous older brother does video streams of himself doing cool martial arts and swordsmanship stuff. So he asks her permission and when she gives it, he recommends Liu Qingge's videos to Shen Yuan, being sure to mention that the guy in question can't really afford to keep up with his hobbies and oh what a shame it would be if he had to stop making art like that.

Haha, Airplane, you're not subtle.

Even so, Shen Yuan watches the videos and immediately agrees that Liu Qingge is beauty in motion, and that it would be criminal to deprive the world of more videos of his sword. Swordsmanship! That is the, the art of, martial arts! Definitely. He clicks the donate button, reasoning out that he'll just send a donation about the size of his usual monthly payments to Airplane and call it his good deed for the day.

Liu Qingge is very confused by this new follower from nowhere who suddenly dumped a little over a month's rent into his account. One thing leads to another, with Mingyan and Airplane conspiring to try and get Shen Yuan as a permanent patron, and then Liu Qingge being let in on it. Except that Airplane keeps referring to Shen Yuan as his sugar daddy, and well... it's not like Liu Qingge doesn't ever get 'those' kinds of comments on his videos. At first he's embarrassed, then offended, then mortified that his own younger sister is apparently setting him up to make premium private videos for what he assumes is some old pervert who is going to want him to do untoward things.

However, their options are pretty bleak at the moment, and Liu Qingge worries that if he doesn't do this then Mingyan might. She even mentions something to the effect of having planned to offer herself, and only didn't because she wasn't this "sugar daddy" guy's type!

Teeth clenched, Liu Qingge asks Airplane stiltedly for advice on how to... appeal, to this wealthy benefactor.

In the end though it's not nearly as bad as Liu Qingge feared. He winds up doing more videos in costumes and cosplay, which ought to have been an untenable expense, but Peerless Cucumber always ends up covering the cost of whatever he invests in plus extra. Sometimes he sends Liu Qingge stuff with a request to wear it, but so far it's just been like, badass warrior-themed or historical costumes. Nothing overtly pervy. He does some LARPing, he makes enough to start doing horseback archery again, convinces some of his good-looking peers from various clubs to spar with him, and ultimately the most risque videos he ends up doing are the ones where he demonstrates how to put on certain kinds of gear. He still locks those ones behind paid subscribers only, mostly because he feels like he's doing something illicit now, even if he used to show more skin on his older videos any time he took his shirt off.

Peerless Cucumber doesn't leave creepy comments, either. In fact he seems genuinely nice and supportive, it's hard not to like him, and so even once his situation levels out Liu Qingge decides there's not really much need to stop making videos for him. (He maybe even gets a little giddy thrill over... well, sometimes he finds it all a bit... just when he thinks about Peerless Cucumber watching him demonstrate his physical prowess and finding that alone worth... ANYWAY--)

So that goes on for a while, before Yue Qi enters the scene.

Yue Qi is the childhood friend of one of Shen Yuan's older brothers (Shen bros!) and Shen Jiu owes him a big favor for something that he won't talk about. At least he won't talk to Shen Yuan about it. But Yue Qi is also not the type to ask for help, and Shen Jiu is very bad at offering it, so when Shen Jiu gets word that Yue Qi is having some difficulties making ends meet, he tells Shen Yuan to act as the middle man. Go offer Qi-ge money, he knows you're nice he'll just accept it, and then Shen Jiu will pay the actual bill.

Well it turns out that Yue Qi doesn't just accept it, of course he sees right through it, and gently but firmly tells Shen Yuan that he's not interested in burdening Shen Jiu further than he already has. Etc, etc, stoic stiff upper lips and no proper communication all around. Shen Yuan panics because it's not working and he's also genuinely worried about Yue Qi by now, so he tries to figure out how to make it compelling and basically blurts that, well, see, the thing is that sometimes he pays men to entertain him. You know. To like. Do things, for him. So. He could also pay Yue Qi? To do something for him?

Yue Qi gets the wrong idea entirely, and at first is like, oh, no, A'Yuan, you shouldn't be paying people for that! These things should just happen organically! But Shen Yuan is very adamant that he believes in compensating people for what they do for him, it's not like he can't afford to, and it gets awkward but Yue Qi is like well he does have health problems. It's perhaps difficult for him to meet people. So then he starts worrying about Shen Yuan and all these strange men he's apparently paying for "entertainment". Does his brother know about this?

No of course Shen Jiu doesn't know! He'd hate it, and Shen Yuan doesn't want to hear about how he's doing everything wrong with his life again!

Then Shen Yuan mentions that his prior house cleaning service up and quit on him (they didn't), and if Yue Qi would like to earn fair compensation he could just come over sometimes to help instead, and Shen Yuan would pay him just to tidy up and hang out for a few hours! Which Yue Qi thinks is a fantastic idea, actually, even if Shen Yuan is only doing this because of his brother, this will give Yue Qi a chance to keep an eye on him and his so-called entertainers. Even if he sort of... ends up also being one?

Shen Yuan keeps everything above board, though his apartment always seems perfectly clean and he overpays way too much (Shen Jiu is still footing this bill after all), and Yue Qi starts to think maybe he actually is being paid for intimacy. Of a sort that they're maybe still working up to? Shen Yuan usually has a very thin face after all. He's kind of got two minds about this prospect. On the one hand, he's got his situationship with Shen Jiu, so dating his brother would be absurd. But on the other hand, it's not actually dating, and he does like Shen Yuan, and maybe if they can be good company for each other then Yue Qi won't feel so depressed and Shen Yuan won't need to hire strange men so often.

Meanwhile it's come to Shen Yuan's attention, perhaps through an offhand comment he read online somewhere, that people who are struggling financially often also struggle to "treat themselves". Because even when they have enough money to be comfortable there's often the looming specter of deprivation, and etc, so he figures he should start buying some of his dependents more treats and things. Since they might not buy them for themselves? And also he's enjoying doing this but shhh no he isn't, it's a huge hassle, he's only doing it out of basic moral decency, etc.

So like, Airplane starts getting little things that he'd put on some public wish lists, clearly sent by Peerless Cucumber. And he tells Mingyan to make a list for Liu Qingge too, and sure enough, Liu Qingge (bewildered, slightly flustered) tries to figure out what he's supposed to do with an album from a band he likes and some high-end leather polish. Ultimately settles on playing the music and wearing his nicest leather in his next video. Yue Qi starts arriving at Shen Yuan's place to be plied with his favorite coffees and to have scented candles awkwardly foisted onto him (Shen Yuan does not know what Yue Qi likes in gifts) (he buys these presents himself they're not out of Shen Jiu's pocket).

So finally Shen Yuan's parents start to notice that he's been spending a lot more than usual, and start to worry that he's either been taken in by a scam artist or is secretly dating a gold digger or has developed a drug addiction or something. But asking things directly like normal people is basically illegal in the Shen family, so they decide to hire a private investigator.

Enter Luo Binghe, a young man of humble background who is struggling to make ends meet after the untimely death of his adoptive mother, and is using his P.I. job and his online cooking videos to help pay his way through school (scholarship student). Usually his cases are more like, cyberstalking someone to find out if they're cheating on their spouse, or helping someone planning a lawsuit accumulate evidence on their corrupt employer, or other things like that. When he gets the Shen Yuan case, the idea that the Shen family's son is paying for "company" is well within his list of probable answers.

Though this one is a little... peculiar?

Mostly because Binghe can't find evidence of Shen Yuan actually getting what he would, presumably, be paying for. At first Luo Binghe just goes through the online paper trails, using the info that the Shen parents give him to figure out that Shen Yuan is paying Airplane and Swordmaster Liu (*cough*) what seem to be exorbitant prices just for trashy fiction and cosplay videos. He assumes this is a cover, that someone's actually delivering drugs or going over for "private meetings" or at least actually sending dirty videos as well, but even when he pays for Liu Qingge's VIP access it's just tutorials and such. Neither of these guys are even on any of the sites that are more lenient towards hosting explicit content. Luo Binghe's aware that kinks aren't always obviously sexual, but people don't usually pay through the nose for the kind of content they can easily find for free all over the place, either.

He digs a little more but keeps coming up empty on evidence to clarify which of the many vices the Shen family's son is actually indulging in. Which is a problem because that's the information they're paying him to find out. Plus his curiosity kind of piques as he reads Shen Yuan's seemingly quite invested comments on Airplane's writing and Liu Qingge's videos, looking to see if there's any kind of clandestine code or pattern. But near as he can tell, whatever else Shen Yuan might be getting out of these arrangements, he does genuinely like the stories and videos too? Well. Sometimes. Sometimes he's actually scathingly vitriolic towards Airplane's writing.

Luo Binghe decides that surveilling Shen Yuan himself is probably the way to go. That gets more complicated in court cases, but since the Shen parents just wants to know what's going on and aren't planning on prosecuting their son for anything, it doesn't matter as much if Luo Binghe gets information in sneaky or underhanded ways.

So, Binghe uses the account he created to access Liu Qingge's videos to chat with Shen Yuan a few times, and then recommends his own cooking channel. Shen Yuan doesn't seem too interested in cooking, so Luo Binghe makes sure to include a video that has an image of himself in his recommendation, and then films a few new videos of himself cooking with his shirtsleeves rolled up to three quarters and a few more buttons than usual unbuttoned, adopting a more flirty persona than he typically does for his shows. He takes his cues from some of Liu Qingge's more popular videos for how to be enticing bait.

It takes a few videos, but eventually Shen Yuan comments. Luo Binghe latches onto the chance to start talking to him, playing up a persona of a vulnerable young man with little means who is trying hard to make it through school, etc, and sure enough Shen Yuan seems interested. Well, most predatory people like vulnerable targets, don't they?

However... Shen Yuan just sends him a chunk of money.

Luo Binghe is confused.

Isn't he supposed to ask for something or create some kind of expectation of repayment first? But, maybe this is his approach to handling new targets. Maybe he's just trying to lull Binghe into a false sense of complacency, before he starts indicating what he wants from all of this. Luo Binghe makes sure to move the money Shen Yuan sends him into a separate account, so that if the Shen parents get angry about it then he can return it as a gesture of good faith.

But Shen Yuan just keeps sending supportive comments and donations. Eventually he leaves a comment that alludes to how badly he'd like to taste Binghe's cooking, and Binghe is like finally, but when he implies that they could perhaps meet in person and Luo Binghe could thank him for his support by making him something, Shen Yuan backs off.

Things eventually progress to the point where Luo Binghe, who is a totally normal person treating this like a totally normal job still thank you very much, is basically camping out in the bushes in front of Shen Yuan's apartment building. At some point he conscripts the aid of his weird cousin (finding his birth family was how he got into this business initially), and then almost immediately regrets it because Shen Yuan helps get Zhuzhi Lang a job doing landscaping for his building.

Why would he want Zhuzhi Lang close but not Binghe? Binghe is much handsomer! He'd make an excellent target for seduction! >:(

Anyway eventually Yue Qi catches Luo Binghe lurking around like a creeper and is like, finally, I have caught one of these suspicious men, whilst Binghe is like oh so he does have a lover, well this guy sucks and is clearly not good enough for him, and they both try and chase one another off and Shen Yuan comes home to a heated passive-aggressive-politeness war being waged in front of his apartment. Eventually he realizes the misunderstanding and calls everyone together (zoom conference? in-person meet-up?) to clarify that he is not paying any of them for "special favors", that was just Airplane being deranged about his sense of humor, and then he has no idea what to do when the prevailing response seems to be disappointment.