Remember If You’re Out At A Store And Someone Says “This Is A Robbery” You Can Say “no It’s

Bruce being so done with life because none of his kids treat their medical files on the batcomputer with the importance it deserves. And the worst part is, he can't tell if it's on purpose or if they're all Just Like That.

Dick:

He loves his eldest son but for some reason, he refuses to do anything but put down estimated recovery times in his injuries folder. It's usually in the range of "2 weeks" to "48 hours" but that just leaves Bruce worrying about what happened.

One time, he put down 3 months and he nearly had a heart attack till his son called and told him Kor'i had dumped him and that this was how long he was going to be wallowing.

Jason:

Is nice enough to tell him what happened but doesn't add the degree of injury.

So he'll put down "stabbed" but won't elaborate on whether it was a flesh wound or worse. Bruce goes grey very, very early after Jason is on the field.

Tim:

Gives him just the location of the injury and leaves him to guess what happened.

Could say "arm" or "back of the head" or, on one memorable occasion, "spleen", but won't say what the heck happened to any of those parts.

Was he stabbed?? Shot at?? Who knows. Certainly not Bruce.

Damian:

Only mentions the retribution he got for any injuries he received.

"It's been handled", "he'll never be able to get the drop on me again" and more often than not, just the word "avenged".

Bruce is surprised he has any of his original hair colour left at all.

Duke:

By far the worst one. He writes down injuries in terms of his own pain scale.

Could write "OW!" or "Not Gucci" or "Better than that time Jason hit me in the face with a TV remote".

Once wrote "Non-fatal" which sent Bruce into a spiral because "holy shit Duke?? What do you mean non-fatal?? Yeah I sure hope your injuries weren't lethal?!"

Cass:

Has never been injured on patrol. Often leaves him question marks in her file which...yeah, fair enough.

if i was sisyphus id eat a bit of dirt off the slope every time on my way up until the slope is no longer steep enough for the boulder to roll down. it would be end of suffering in 47 days

"Imperial Culture is... curious at times..."

saying “i want him” about the character but not in a romantic or sexual way . i just Require him i need to Obtain him

Sounds of Luz in her Titan form battling Belos

Amity, looking up: "That's. . . that's my girlfriend!"

Gus: "You sure Amity?"

Amity: "Either that or we just felt King's mom."

Gus: "Who here just thought of the Titan with boobs?"

Gus: . . . "Really? I'm the only one?"

Hunter: "Yes!"

Hunter internally: "He must never know."

Source: me

Thanks anon lmao

What are some of your favorite tropes that you have to hold yourself back from for fear of overusing it?

it would've been slightly less personal to ask me what my organs looked like

There's definitely some story mileage in a British dude with no cultural sensitivity whatsoever still wanting to return every artifact that Britain has ever stolen out of pure self-interest because one of those motherfuckers is Maximally Cursed and he can't tell which

Laser Tag.

Twitter / Instagram / Gumroad / Patreon  

KnownOrigin / SuperRare / OBJKT / Zedge