Calvin's parents decide to take a Hawai'ian vacation. They're not sure how much of it their son will tolerate but they would like to do at least a few things that involve sandy beaches and scenic cycling routes. They are therefore pleased when Calvin seems to make friends with a local girl about his own age and the two of them run off to play
Now, from Calvin's point of view what has happened is that he spotted actual aliens, and starts trying to bring this to the attention if the adults. But the tourists are like, "that's nice, go shoot 'em with your water gun, have a good time," and the locals are like, "yeah, they're an older couple who decided to retire here. Happens all the time." Eventually, it becomes clear that Spaceman Spiff is going to have to handle it himself.
From Lilo's point of view, Jumba and Pleakley are her gay uncles, do you mind? Calvin does mind, and so the two of them spend the rest of the afternoon terrorizing Kaua'i in the effort to destroy one another while the aliens alternate between bailing them out of trouble and attempting to escape.
Hobbes and Stitch, meanwhile, are calmly playing checkers and drinking non-alcoholic margaritas.
Perhaps they ought not to have eaten the dragon. There had been people objecting to it at the time. Surely such meat was poisonous. Perhaps it was even an affront, an insult to some intangible order of nature they ought to honour.
But the city was starving, the siege had gone on too long, and the king's troops were still a week's march away. The scorched earth would be fertile again in time, but right now it was barren. Right now there were mouths to feed. So they changed their crossbows for butcher knives and got to work.
None of the royal commanders asked any questions that could not be answered. After all, their aid had come shamefully late. The dragon's horned skull made a noble gift, a fitting tribute from a triumphant city to its humbled king. Who would have thought to question them?
And none of the townsfolk spoke up, when the first golden-eyed babes were born. Children who grew up barefoot and fearless, clambering over the city's patched and rebuilt roofs like they had no notion of falling, with a strange glitter to their skin when the sunlight hit it just so. No one breathed a word about dragons.
Because soon enough there were deft, young hands taking loaves straight out of the oven, heedlessly lifting iron from the forge, plunging into boiling laundry water. And some of them more wondrous still, wild, warm-skinned youths, with inexplicable knowledge and peculiar remedies.
A blessing, their families said proudly. A blessing after so much hardship. Which it was, in its way. This city would never fear dragon fire again.
"getting laid" is very hot and sexy. "getting off"? great news as well. so you would think "getting laid off" would be wonderful news for your penis. but alas
AU where Plagg spells out who Ladybug is in pieces of Camembert for Adrien because of a deal he made with Adrien. Adrien enters a lifetime supply of cheese contest on Plagg’s behalf, and wins. Tikki is too impressed that Plagg spelled out Marinette’s full name without opposable thumbs to be mad.
I am convinced that Erin is the type to read Frankenstein and just think "I could have done that so much better than Victor."
yea but to be fair Victor makes that really easy
Lost & Found part 1
(Quirkless AU ft. Todosiblings /big bro Touya/ dabihawks but it’s complicated)
The smallest PS: This will be an on going comic, based on an AU @pandatanks and I created (Previously known as Punk AU)
I Part 8 I Part 7.2 I Part 7.1 I Part 6 I Part 5 I Part 4 I Part 3 I Part 2 I Part 1
Bruce being so done with life because none of his kids treat their medical files on the batcomputer with the importance it deserves. And the worst part is, he can't tell if it's on purpose or if they're all Just Like That.
Dick:
He loves his eldest son but for some reason, he refuses to do anything but put down estimated recovery times in his injuries folder. It's usually in the range of "2 weeks" to "48 hours" but that just leaves Bruce worrying about what happened.
One time, he put down 3 months and he nearly had a heart attack till his son called and told him Kor'i had dumped him and that this was how long he was going to be wallowing.
Jason:
Is nice enough to tell him what happened but doesn't add the degree of injury.
So he'll put down "stabbed" but won't elaborate on whether it was a flesh wound or worse. Bruce goes grey very, very early after Jason is on the field.
Tim:
Gives him just the location of the injury and leaves him to guess what happened.
Could say "arm" or "back of the head" or, on one memorable occasion, "spleen", but won't say what the heck happened to any of those parts.
Was he stabbed?? Shot at?? Who knows. Certainly not Bruce.
Damian:
Only mentions the retribution he got for any injuries he received.
"It's been handled", "he'll never be able to get the drop on me again" and more often than not, just the word "avenged".
Bruce is surprised he has any of his original hair colour left at all.
Duke:
By far the worst one. He writes down injuries in terms of his own pain scale.
Could write "OW!" or "Not Gucci" or "Better than that time Jason hit me in the face with a TV remote".
Once wrote "Non-fatal" which sent Bruce into a spiral because "holy shit Duke?? What do you mean non-fatal?? Yeah I sure hope your injuries weren't lethal?!"
Cass:
Has never been injured on patrol. Often leaves him question marks in her file which...yeah, fair enough.
I was cooking on twitter today
mutual 1: I want to turn that man's prostate into silly putty
mutual 2: here's smth i doodled during science class lol
mutual 3: pls remember that you personally can drink milk and still be a lactose intolerance ally!! anyone who tells you otherwise doesn't know their history :]
mutual 4: fucking a robot girl in the ass call that backend programming
mutual 5: holy shit I need him so fucking bad holy shit holyyy shit oh my god
mutual 6: anyone get kind of horny putting the ignition key in the car....it's so intimate....turning him on....
mutual 7: so lets talk about where scrimblo's arc is realistically going- I know a lot of people are trying to argue that he's being manipulated but this ignores the fact that there is clearly unresolved conflict between him and bleebus about their moralities
mutual 8: happy propeller penis thursday
mutual 9: "scrimblo and bleebus need to discuss their morality" god forbid a pathetic boywife does some torture 🙄🙄
mutual 10: WHO IS HYPED FOR THE NEW ALBUM LETS FUCKING GO
mutual 11: guys we're not getting a new album
mutual 12: please stop sending me death threats
mutual 13: why is my whole dash talking about this band I don't even listen to.....
mutual 14: hey boy nice knife wound can i put my tongue in it
mutual 15: i'm going to fall into lake michigan
"Average necron acquires 3 artifacts a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. Average necron acquires 0 artifacts per year. Trazyn, Overlord of Solemnace, Lord Archaeovist of the Prismatic Galleries, and He-Who-Is-Called-Infinite, who lives in a museum & acquires over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted