Emira:

Phrases I bet were said on the Wayne Manor without context.

Duke *looking at Dick while he puts his coffee on the breakfast table*: So you're telling me that superman was your stepdad?

Dick: He was NOT my stepdad.

Duke: HE TOOK YOU AND BRUCE TO BOWILING!

Dick: He was being nice!

Duke: MY BROTHER IN GOTHAM THAT'S A DATE-

Alfred: Master Tim ..... Wheres your spleen?

Jason (To duke): Oh yeah shit you haven't died-and-brought-back yet- So...

Tim: Now if you beat me- It's a hate crime.

Duke (to Jason): See? this is why you died without ever having felt the touch of a woman.

Damian (to Tim): I couldn't care less if your friends are coming over for diner, Alfred the cat it's not leaving this table.

Steph (To Bruce): You just mad because I me and Tim used to make out on the Batcave

Bruce (to Tim): You what?

Damian: ... No I don't care if it's homophobic Iwill break his hand if he touches my Utena collection again.

Jason (to dick): whY IS THIS MF ALWAYS HERE?! DON'T YOU HAVE A JOB-

Tim (to Damian): Have you ever had this days where you feel like nothing

Damian (to Tim): "hAveE yOu eVeR hAd ThEsE. dAyS-" Go find someone who gives a shit.

Bruce (To 29 year old Dick): I will not ask again get out of this chandelier right now-

Bruce (To 10 year old Dick): No I cannot refund you that's not gow it works-

15 Year old Dick (To Bruce): HE'S NOT MY BROTHER ... (To Wally on his phone) Yeah I can't go today I have to watch my stupid brother.

Jason Todd (To a very very scared Bernard): Have you ever killed someone?

Calvin's parents decide to take a Hawai'ian vacation. They're not sure how much of it their son will tolerate but they would like to do at least a few things that involve sandy beaches and scenic cycling routes. They are therefore pleased when Calvin seems to make friends with a local girl about his own age and the two of them run off to play

Now, from Calvin's point of view what has happened is that he spotted actual aliens, and starts trying to bring this to the attention if the adults. But the tourists are like, "that's nice, go shoot 'em with your water gun, have a good time," and the locals are like, "yeah, they're an older couple who decided to retire here. Happens all the time." Eventually, it becomes clear that Spaceman Spiff is going to have to handle it himself.

From Lilo's point of view, Jumba and Pleakley are her gay uncles, do you mind? Calvin does mind, and so the two of them spend the rest of the afternoon terrorizing Kaua'i in the effort to destroy one another while the aliens alternate between bailing them out of trouble and attempting to escape.

Hobbes and Stitch, meanwhile, are calmly playing checkers and drinking non-alcoholic margaritas.

"getting laid" is very hot and sexy. "getting off"? great news as well. so you would think "getting laid off" would be wonderful news for your penis. but alas

“In King Lear (III:vii) there is a man who is such a minor character that Shakespeare has not given him even a name: he is merely “First Servant.” All the characters around him—Regan, Cornwall, and Edmund—have fine long-term plans. They think they know how the story is going to end, and they are quite wrong. The servant has no such delusions. He has no notion how the play is going to go. But he understands the present scene. He sees an abomination (the blinding of old Gloucester) taking place. He will not stand it. His sword is out and pointed at his master’s breast in a moment: then Regan stabs him dead from behind. That is his whole part: eight lines all told. But if it were real life and not a play, that is the part it would be best to have acted. The doctrine of the Second Coming teaches us that we do not and cannot know when the world drama will end. The curtain may be rung down at any moment: say, before you have finished reading this paragraph. This seems to some people intolerably frustrating. So many things would be interrupted. Perhaps you were going to get married next month, perhaps you were going to get a raise next week: you may be on the verge of a great scientific discovery; you may be maturing great social and political reforms. Surely no good and wise God would be so very unreasonable as to cut all this short? Not now of all moments! But we think thus because we keep on assuming that we know the play. We do not know the play. We do not even know whether we are in Act I or Act V. We do not know who are the major and who the minor characters. The Author knows. The audience, if there is an audience (if angels and archangels and all the company of heaven fill the pit and stalls) may have an inkling. But we, never seeing the play from the outside, never meeting any characters except the tiny minority who are ‘on’ in the same scenes as ourselves, wholly ignorant of the future and very imperfectly informed about the past, cannot tell at what moment the end ought to come. That it will come when it ought, we may be sure; but we waste our time in guessing when that will be. That it has a meaning we may be sure, but we cannot see it. When it is over m, we may be told. We are led to expect that the Author will have something to say to each of us on the part that each of us has played. The playing it well is what matters infinitely. The doctrine of the Second Coming, then is not to be rejected because it conflicts with our favorite modern mythology. It is, for that very reason, to be the more valued and made more frequently the subject of meditation. It is the medicine our condition especially needs.”

from ‘The World’s Last Night and Other Essays’

if you’re gonna introduce me to something new you have to defeat my 7 evil ex hyperfixations

I'm starting a collection (X, X, X, X)

BONUS:

As someone with ADHD, this is such a good explanation of how awesome the neurodivergent representation is in this show

THE OWL HOUSE - LUZ'S NEURODIVERGENCE

I know when people talk about representation in the Owl House, they mean the big stuff, the queerness. And yeah, Thanks to Them has a lot of that, and it was great, but there's one moment in the episode that particularly stuck with me.

THIS SCENE

THE NEURODIVERGENT REPRESENTATION

This is something I've seen people on tumblr talk about a lot. About how the school system isn't designed for everyone's brain, and it shouldn't be a measure of who is the cleverest, or who puts in the most effort, or who is the most worthy.

Luz is clever. Just not at the kind of subjects they teach. And even when she is, it comes and goes, or she can't focus and applies herself too little, or too much and just generally can't operate on the level they require from her 100 percent of the time.

The fact that they finally outright say it, the reasons she's been struggling in her own world, and point out her difference in such an obvious way makes me so happy.

Because think about it. Think about it the way you think about Amity and Luz asking each other out onscreen, or Raine's pronouns. There are children out there right now too young to voice themselves on the Internet, who sit around and watch this show.

Children who might be struggling in school, and see themselves in Luz. Children whose struggles and stories are finally being voiced, and who are being shown that it's okay to feel this way. You're just like this character here. You were built to excell somewhere else and it's okay that you are.

It's satisfying and sad. Real life children won't get to escape to the Boiling Isles, but they might see this scene, and push aside the narrative that they are a failure. That they'll never be more than the problem child.

All because of this wonderful show which voices, inspires, and represents people who have been waiting for it their whole lives.

Please don't think I'm trying to discredit the LGBTQ+ or poc or any other kind of rep in the show, I love it all, I just really wanted to talk about this side of it.

I turn to Ares.

Thanks to Tyler Miles Lockett who allowed me to draw inspiration from his ARES piece for page 2! Look at his etsy page it's SICK

⚔️ If you want to read some queer retelling of arturian legends have a look at my webtoon

There once was a doctor named Freud