Oompa, Loompa, Doompa-dee-do I've Got A True Story For You Oompa, Loompa, Doompa-dee-dee Here’s What
Oompa, Loompa, doompa-dee-do I've got a true story for you Oompa, Loompa, doompa-dee-dee Here’s what truly had happened to me
So, here’s a thought. First of all, let’s base this off if the 1971 version. Second, let’s make the Oompa Loompas’ take a bit…darker. Not that Willy Wonka did anything bad, oh no, he comes in later. But hear me out.
Take, say, three hundred girls and boys of different ethnicities between five and ten. Have them experimented in by a corporation. Their skin color is turned orange, their hair green, and all stuck at the same short height of about a doll.
Now you have about two hundred and fifty mostly identical kids (because, come on, some probably died in the experiments or didn’t survive the process) and they are all traumatized and hurting. In come the FBI or something that takes down the organization. In comes a young Willy Wonka of about 22. He feels bad for these teenagers (the experiments probably took a few years) and so he scoops them up (figuratively), gets them some therapy, and takes them to his fledgling chocolate factory.
Now here’s a catch. Though the Oompa Loompas can still eat normal stuff, the food with the most nutrients is coca beans. That’s what Willy Wonka gives to them eventually as payment, kind of like their favorite food.
Now, to differentiate themselves, they wear their hair differently. Most have simple hair styles, but those who were not ethically white follow with their culture with dreads, beads, etc. They also wear different clothes whenever they aren’t working at the factory (Willy started to have the original human staff train the once they were past eighteen). (They soon replaced almost all human staff as workers.)
A village was built within a separate part of the factory for them to live in. They build themselves homes and take care of each other.
Obviously, the original group consisted of both boys and girls. As they got older, many still wished to date and have children. The thing is, scientifically, they were no longer human and were a completely new species. (By definition, a new species is created when they can no longer have offspring with the original species. Look it up. I learned this is Science class.)
Anyway, they decided to marry within their own species. They had children, and a school was soon built in the small village alongside a park. The children acted and seemed just like normal human children, just orange skinned, green haired, and smaller.
Being called Oompa Loompas was from the scientists. Additionally, that story that Willy says about Loompa Land and the enemies there? That is what they tell their children, with Loompa Land replacing the lab and the creatures replacing the scientists. After each kid turns eighteen, they are told the truth and soon after start working on the factory. By the time that the main story takes place, there are even several young grandchildren (third generation Oompa Loompas). The original ones that still deal with the whole boat load of teams are in their forties, as Willy Wonka was in his fifties. Charlie eventually meets the Oompa Loompa children, but like them, isn’t told the truth until after he turns eighteen.
One last thing. Willy often will visit the village, a giant among them, and gets to know all of the children. The kids adore him, and they all like to spend time around him.
So, what do you guys think? Do you like it or hate it? Do you want to know more?
More Posts from Xxxtrymexxxagain and Others
I feel we haven’t adequately explored the possibilities inherent in force-sensitive Finn in a universe impacted by Rogue One.
Finn pretending the brooding droid in the corner of the cafeteria isn’t there because everyone else is ignoring it, only to whisper under his breath as he walks by ‘why are you blue?’ and jumping when the droid responds with sarcastic glee ‘i calculated a 97.3% chance you would ask that first’ before disappearing
Finn making sure no one sees him follow laughter down the hallway to a supposedly empty storage room, stumbling upon a seated man who turns and smiles blindly at him, saying ‘can you settle an argument for us? Baze says there are no jedi left’ and Finn says ‘um’ because “Baze” appears to be a grim, no-nonsense man with a very large gun and also blue? And… rolling his eyes? Baze says ‘ignore this old fool’ and the Old Fool says ‘you’re four months older than me’ and at that point Finn backs out slowly while they bicker
Finn watching a returned Rey sit by herself in the hangar sometimes, another woman the same age sitting next to her, unspeaking and unmoving, but they seem to gain strength from each others’ presence so he doesn’t interrupt. Wondering what they talk about when no one’s around (he’d be surprised to learn they mostly talk about the future, about hope, when they can find words at all)
Finn once overhearing Poe whisper ‘hey, are you there?’ and thinking Poe means him, but before he can respond he sees a man shimmer into being behind Poe and put one hand on Poe’s shoulder, the other hand awkwardly reaching up to adjust a pair of goggles on top of his head. Poe smiling, relieved, and Finn realizing Poe can’t see the man but knows he’s there anyway. Finn thinking this is Poe’s secret, but then later hearing Jess whisper it too, ‘hey, are you there?’ Finn eventually realizing that every pilot in the resistance whispers when they’re having a moment of doubt, a moment of exhaustion, a moment of struggle, and the perpetually startled-looking man with the goggles is always there when they ask
Finn coming in to talk to General Leia once, only to find a dashing young man with floppy hair and a goatee perched on a chair in her quarters. Leia seeing the direction of Finn’s glance and smiling. ‘Finn, meet Cassian,’ she says. ‘Cassian, Finn ran away from the First Order. I’m sure you’ll adopt him.’ And Cassian says, ‘We already did. There was a meeting. Chirrut allowed only himself a vote.’ And Finn has no idea what’s going on, but General Leia laughs and says ‘Welcome to the family, Finn.’
And that is how Finn got adopted by 6 force ghosts, a general, and a jedi in hiding (on top of a wild girl from jakku and a hell of a pilot).
The way this fandom is:
70%: In denial. No, they totally lived. Nobody’s dead! But they definitely have some trauma/injuries so angst fest! Yay! (But still alive.)
10%: Some of them got out alive, right…?
9%: Nah, not going to get into that. Instead, here’s a wonderful backstory!
1%: Nope, they definitely died. Let’s see what their thoughts were as they died a horrid death!
ATTENTION ROCKET RACCOON FANS
Everyone, go and listen to Animal by Miike Snow. The ENTIRE song literally fits Rocket and his backstory so well! Just, go listen to it and you’ll see what I mean.
I also beg of you YouTube creators to make a song tribute to Rocket using this song. It would be EPIC!
ATTENTION ROCKET RACCOON FANS
Everyone, go and listen to Animal by Miike Snow. The ENTIRE song literally fits Rocket and his backstory so well! Just, go listen to it and you’ll see what I mean.
I also beg of you YouTube creators to make a song tribute to Rocket using this song. It would be EPIC!
So, think about this: after TOA, Grover’s back home at camp. Another satyr ends up confronting him. Now, I head cannon that Grover was physically 6 when his mom somehow died, and we can all guess what happened to his dad. It’s also cannon that Grover is small for his age, so born maybe premature? So, Grover grew up alone at Camp, and was kind of bullied and didn’t have a family or many friends until Percy. Anyway, this other satyr used to bully him when they were kids, as he’s older than Grover. He starts talking bad about Grover, bringing up how he’s the black sheep, that Pan must have chosen wrong, etc. Grover gets all red in the face as a crowd starts to form. One camper even runs to find Chiron, so he’s approaching and about to break up the potential fight. Meanwhile, through the Empathy Link, Percy’s at home and can feel Grover’s anger and embarrassment. Back at Camp, the other satyr starts insulting his parents, and then mentions how Grover has no backbone and is so weak. Grover suddenly switches gears, and instead of physically fighting, he starts listing what he’s survived through like the Underworld, the Labyrinth, second hand torture of Tartarus, etc. To finish it off, he mentions that he’s done all of this before turning physically 18, and asked what the other satyr has done. He also then states that after enduring all of that, he’d finally grown a backbone (unlike when he was younger). The gathered campers start cheering, and Grover feels proud of himself, Chiron tells Grover well done, and now Grover is absolutely beaming. Unfortunately, in a fit of anger, the other satyr throws a rock or something, and it hits just right to break Grover’s leg(s). Cue Grover screaming in absolute agony, strong enough for the very tress to shake as they sense their lord’s pain. While some of the campers keep the other satyr from escaping, Will rushes forward to help. Grover thankfully passes out from the pain, but Chiron is worried about Grover and actually slings him over his back to get him back to the Big House(or maybe the Apollo cabin?). Everyone is still running around and it’s chaos as they try to stabilize Grover and his broken leg(s). Meanwhile, back with Percy, all he knows is that there was anger and embarrassment, then pride, then gut wrenching pain. He immediately calls Mrs. OLeary, and Shadow Travels to Camp, absolutely furious and worried. When he arrives, Grover’s stabilized, and Percy gets dead serious and asks what happened. After the situation is explained, Percy is beyond furious for someone hurting his best friend. But then Grover groans in his sleep, and Percy realized that his anger is hurting him through the Link. (I head cannon that they can get physical injuries through the Link, so Grover gets a headache from Percy’s anger and Percy’s leg(s) are hurting.) Percy immediately puts up mental walls to shield Grover.
I don’t really know what happens after that, I guess Grover eventually waking up and healing? Somewhere in there someone has to tell Juniper what happened to her boyfriend, and she’s understandably angry too, especially cause she can’t go see him because he’s too far away from her tree.
Anyway, can someone please make this a fanfic or something? Thank you!
“you find this funny?”
sketch- meeting the guardian of the Guardian.
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