Last Night Was One Of The Worst. I Just Couldn’t Stop Crying Cuz Somebody Close To Me Almost Died.

Id give up all the world to go back, before I fucked everything up...

But now that you hate me..

And its over

I just wanna hold you.

..I gotta try to live with the mistakes i made..

And im having a hard time living with myself today.... 💔

TW SH

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BLOCK DONT REPORT PLEASE

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Why do I always come back to this

Andd this is why I cut myself off from everyone and no longer reply to messages :)

Friendships/relationships are exhausting, and I’m starting to wonder if its even worth it anymore. I’m the only one who tries anymore. I’m the only one sending the first text, I’m the only one who initiates hanging out, I’m the only one who cares. What’s even the point? 

“And all I want to do is make you happy, but I can’t even do that right.”

“i know you want to give up on yourself. i can feel it and that breaks my heart”

— 3am–overthinker

He left

He did exactly he said he will never do. He left too. He told me he is tired of me constantly crying and being 'filmy'. I asked him to leave he did and he blamed me for that he said that he is leaving because I told him to. What the fuck could I do? He was tried of me.

jean rhys, good morning, midnight

[text: ‘What happened to you, what happened’ he says. ‘Something bad must have happened to make you like this.’ / ‘One thing? It wasn’t one thing. It took years. It was a slow process.’]

it’s my mom’s birthday tomorrow. my dad said that i’m useless. i can’t fo anything right. what about the card i made for her? what about the decorations i put up? no, still not enough. just keep yeling at me. i know how much you hate your child. what if i would just disappear? everything would be better without me, am i right, father? you make me relapse everytime, and i’m glad that you’re helping me with that. i can feel the blade cutting into my arms, making beautiful red lines. i can feel the blood running down. i can clean up the mess i made afterwards. just because of your help. that’s nice, isn’t it, father? i hope you’re proud of your little useless miserable child. you make me feel so horrible, that i caress my neck with my scissors. that i bawl my eyes out. that i can finally feel relieved again. now it’s time to hide the cuts. i’m very good at this. thank you father.