As I Lay Down In The Tub, I Rest The Blade Upon My Wrist. I Wish My Life Wasn’t Like This. My Body

As I lay down in the tub, I rest the blade upon my wrist. I wish my life wasn’t like this. my body soon will decay. From all the years my life was taken. I won’t be awakened anymore. The blade cuts through my skin as it gusts. No second thoughts in the head. It rips into my flesh taking in thousands of blood cells. Ripping into the bone marrow. As I think “This is it, I can’t turn back” I take this blade against my gasping throat. My mouth fills with blood as I began to choke on my own cells. The blade spews all the blood making the tub water red. I began to become dead, quick as I thought. Found in my own body fluid. My vessels began to spew out popping open. A scream echoed across the bathroom if I was alive my ears would have exploded. Family hearts dropping from the calls. Knees dropping to the floor. Cries and screams come through the door, getting escorted out of my house. I was born in that house, and lived there for my entire childhood, I wish I could remain there again if I could. I left the place I’ve only known, I lived, and left the place I’ve only been. My body cremated in the urn or down god’s doorsteps of the dirt ground. The minerals god has made with his own house cradling me like when I was in my mother’s arms reborn.

( The Termination of Self-Loathing )

By Kaleigh (MYSELF)