Shut Up

[ 𝟏:𝟓𝟕 𝐀𝐌 ] — 𝐊𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐈 𝐓𝐄𝐓𝐓𝐀

it’s cold.

that’s the first thing kisaki thinks when he wakes up, eyebrows furrowing when the bed is empty and devoid of you and your usual warmth beside him. sitting up, he groans as he stretches his muscles out, hastily climbing out to find you. he tries to convince himself not to panic.

the bathroom lights are off—he notes all your things are thankfully still there—and so are the hallway lights, and so are the living room lights, but the kitchen seems to be lit. sighing, he walks in, watching from the entrance as you sit at the table, swirling a cup of tea around in your mug glumly.

“you should be in bed,” he says dryly. you don’t even blink, staring off ahead.

“what’s it to you?” you scowl. he grits his teeth, eyes narrowing as they stare down at you. it’s scrutinizing—everything seems to be when it comes to kisaki. he’s always got something to say, and it’s grown tiring for you.

“watch it,” he warns, making you roll your eyes. staring up at him, there’s a small pool of tears at the corner of your eyes, and his anger slowly ebbs away. for the first time, he takes in how hallow your eyes seem and how disappointed you are. and he feels himself fearing your withdrawal from him—the rejection seems unbearable if it comes from you.

“you go back to bed,” you wave off. “i’ll come in a bit.” you try to hide the shakiness of your voice, but he catches it immediately. and as scrutinizing as kisaki can be, as nit-picky to every detail as he can seem, as hard to please and even harder to decipher as he is, he’s always known exactly what you needed and exactly what to do.

“won’t be able to fall asleep,” he mutters quietly, sitting beside you at the table. he snatches your mug from your hand, taking a long sip of your tea.

“tetta, seriously?” you groan. his lips curl into a smirk, the mug meeting his lips again as he finishes the contents in one large gulp. you should kill him, you think, he’s gotten away with enough anyway.

but his smile is pretty, and the messy bed hair that frames his face is prettier. it makes you smile despite yourself.

“i see you grinning, dumbass,” he says cooly. “you’re not mad.” reaching over, you take the mug from him, giving his shoulder a good shove in the process. it’s halfhearted and it wouldn’t do anything, but he leans his body to the side anyway, his theatrics giving you the satisfaction of seeing him lose his balance slightly.

“i won’t forget the things you said to me,” you whisper. the words underneath are clear. they’ve left a scar. his heart cracks a little, and he wonders if you’ve realized you have the power to batter it until it’s weak. it wouldn’t be hard—one foot out the door and kisaki’s lost all that makes him a man, but he hopes it doesn’t come to that.

“they weren’t true,” he mumbles. “nothing i said was true.” his hair falls onto his eyes, and even though you’re mad, and hurt, and incredibly tired, you find it second nature to reach forward and brush the strands out of his face.

he immediately presses his own palm to the back of your hand, holding it in place and leaning his face into it. and it’s rare to see a small bit of vulnerability from kisaki, to see him so openly hint that he wants—that he needs an ounce of affection, but you know he craves it, and he’s lost without it on most days.

so, with a sigh, you brush your thumb over his cheek, shaking your head at how soft you are for him. loving him’s not easy, but perhaps that’s why you do it. the difficult tasks are always the most rewarding ones in the end.

“tetta—”

“baby,” he corrects. a small grin etches across your lips.

“how about gumdrop?”

“don’t push it,” he purses his lips, and you laugh. and it’s beautiful, he thinks, the soft glow of your face as the dimly lit kitchen illuminates your skin. your head thrown back in your laughing fit sends waves that crash over his heart. he’s casted away from everything else for a moment, all he can focus on being you. and he’s not mad, couldn’t ever be.

“okay, fine,” you agree. the smile on your face slowly falters, but his grip on your hand doesn’t. “baby, i’m just…i can’t deal with the things you say sometimes,” you whisper. “i’m not cut out for this,” you admit.

“you don’t have to be,” he soothes. “i’m working on it. i won’t say things like that anymore,” he promises. and it’s hard to tell if it’s the truth or not, but he sounds determined. and kisaki’s never given a reason not to believe him, he’s always gone great lengths to give you what he promises. so, with a shaky sigh, you lean into his embrace, hearing the beating of his heart in his chest. it’s the same heartbeat that soothes you to sleep each night and matches the rhythm of yours. he kisses the crown of your head, and nothing has ever made him feel as whole and seen and complete as the feel of your skin against his.

“promise?” you whisper.

“yeah, whatever. i promise,” he mumbles. pulling away, you cup his cheeks, taking in the sleep that’s still laced in his eyes, smiling gently at the sight. kissing his nose, then his cheeks, then finally, pressing a lingering kiss to his lips, you stroke your fingers through his hair as he leans into your palm.

“okay,” you nod. he glances at you expectantly. “what?”

“and…?”

“and…?” you tease.

“say it,” he glares. rolling your eyes, you hug his waist, feeling his hand rub over the small of your back.

“i love you,” you murmur. and with an equally as demanding tone, you add, “say it back.”

and it’s his turn to roll his eyes as he mumbles “i love you too.”

(some of) Lee and Chrome route pics from BOE(Ballad of Eden)!!

tokrev 224 spoiler — leaks ,,

i literally have no words to express how i feel <//3

but it’s definitely not me being ready

The Gray Raven family + Kamui

rating: suggestive cw: sexual tension, badly written includes: gn! reader, fatui harbinger! reader, like stated above- you and diluc have a lot of sexual tension, diluc definitely wears a mask while in his dark night hero persona, you have a geo vision, you're also kinda stronggg (you can imagine how strong), reader likes degrading people and by people i mean diluc summary: you encounter diluc one night, and a fight ensues. while you're fighting, you can't help but tease the dark night hero a bit... y'know, just to rile him up~

the sounds of metal clashing together filled the night air, mixed in with hurried footsteps and pants. you and diluc had been engaged in a fight for the past few minutes now, and neither of you showed signs of slowing down.

“give it up, fatui.” diluc growled. his dark night hero mask was long gone, which was a shame as you had found it rather charming. he swung his claymore at you, but you reacted quickly and dodged.

“now, why would i do something like that?” you readied your sword, taking up a stance that you hoped would provoke the young man. he was smart, however, knowing not to get any closer to you lest he risk his life. you began to walk to your left, and diluc followed after, causing you to begin walking in a large circle- something you had seen a fellow harbinger do in battle.

you swung your sword in your hand, admiring the expensive looking detailing before suddenly dashing forward. diluc’s eyes widened for a split second, as he was caught off guard by your sudden dash. swinging his claymore up, he managed to block your sword- just an inch shy from his pretty face.

your eyes scanned over him. you took note of the sweat rolling down his forehead, and his fiery red eyes bore into yours. your gaze began to wander over his weapon, which was a gorgeous black and red claymore which suited his attire perfectly. “why don’t you give up instead?”

diluc scoffed. he began to push into your weapon a bit more, but you stood your ground. “as if i’d submit to the likes of you.”

you let out a giggle, moving your sword away from him and ducking so you could avoid his claymore. backing up once again, you threw the sword to the side. diluc then took this time to analyze you. you were confident, and your fighting style showed that you were very experienced. 'as expected of a harbinger.' diluc thought.

as much as he hated to admit it, you were quite... attractive. your harbinger uniform and geo vision on your waist suited you perfectly, and your aura of confidence sent off the message that you knew exactly what you (and him, based on your smirk) were doing.

diluc averted his eyes. now wasn't the time to check people out. he had something to do. the dark night hero got into a defensive stance, holding his claymore in front of him as if it were a shield. "we can do this the easy way, or the hard way." diluc spoke calmly, hiding the tiredness in his voice from all the fighting.

he watched as you sighed softly, brushing your hands against each other. bits of dirt fell from your gloves, but diluc didn't think anything of it at the moment. "which shall i choose, hmm..." you looked up, staring at the stars from between the leaves of the cedar trees. from a distance, and if they didn't take a close look at your attire- one would assume that you were just an attractive traveler.

"most would choose the easy way, but the hard way is much more entertaining!" suddenly, a gold like dust flew in front of his face, and diluc found himself spluttering and dropping his weapon as he struggled to brush the dirt off of his face. a pair of hands grabbed at his wrists, and before he knew it, he was pinned up against a tree with a dagger at his throat.

the two of you sat in silence for a few seconds. you could tell that diluc was trying to comprehend what had just happened, and you took the chance to tighten your grip on his hands that were now above his head. 'a rather compromising position,' you thought. 'imagine if someone were to stumble upon you two.'

as you were thinking, you began to notice a soft pink blush forming on diluc's cheeks. how cute...

he began to struggle against you, but you held the dagger tighter to his throat, causing him to inhale sharply and cease resistance. "looks like i win, dark night hero... or should i say, diluc?" the sight of his eyes widening was too much for you to handle, and you found yourself laughing out loud at his expression. "how- how did you?-"

"i have my ways." you smiled, removing the knife from his throat and sheathing it into its designated spot on your belt. once freed from the threat of his throat being cut, diluc began to struggle again- but he quickly found that he could barely move. he noticed that the heat on his face was increasing, and his efforts increased as well, but he still couldn't move his arms more than an inch away from the tree.

"oh diluc, sweet, strong diluc..." you sang slightly in a soft voice, leaning in close to his face. he found himself squeezing his eyes shut, turning his face away from yours. a strange, yet concerningly familiar feeling began to swirl in his chest, and that only caused him to struggle more. perhaps he could kick you, or collapse so that all of his weight was suddenly thrust onto you?

diluc tried pulling his wrists apart, but that was met with your arm squeezing tighter. he began to pant from his efforts, curses leaving his mouth as he was becoming very aware of the amused look on your face. "l-let me go!..." you laughed, and diluc felt his face getting hotter once more.

"you're a man who can swing a claymore with one arm, mister diluc." you teased, your fingers grazing his cheek and neck. your captive held back a groan. "i was sure that you'd easily be able to overpower me, but... it seems i overestimated you~"

you leaned in more, stopping at just the right spot so that your lips were next to his ear. "or perhaps you're enjoying this?" all of a sudden, diluc's struggling stopped, and he let out a strangled gasp. he- he couldn't be... enjoying it, right? he was trying his absolute hardest to get away... right?

"i saw you checking me out," you whispered, as it was only something meant for him to hear. "and i'll admit, i'm a bit interested in you as well." a hand dragged up his thigh, and diluc found himself biting his lip and struggling to keep his moan in. it was hot- too hot, and the thick jacket he wore definitely wasn't helping.

you slipped something into his pants pocket, but let your finger linger inside, resting against the thin inner material that made up the pocket of the pants. just so you could be a bit closer to him as you spoke. as if you weren't close enough.

"tell you what," you absentmindedly began to draw circles into the thin material, and to an extent, diluc's thigh. you listened in amusement as he began to pant softly, squirming against your light touches. strange how this was the man who, not even a few minutes ago, tried to kill you. "i left a card in your pocket. if you meet me at that place next week, i'll give you a little... present. how does that sound?"

diluc nodded quickly, still squirming against you. you breathed out a small noise of affirmation before finally letting go of the man, causing him to let out a small whimper that affected you a little more than you'd like to admit.

you gave diluc a genuine smile as he looked at you, and the look in his eyes reminded you of something you wanted to do the second you saw him for the first time. "here's something to look forward to." before diluc could question it, he felt a pair of lips press against his. and they were gone in a split second.

"see you around!" with a quick wave you ran into the forest, and diluc was left staring after you with a longing feeling in his chest. he let out a long sigh, covering his face with his hands as he slowly slid down the tree he was just pinned against.

the uncomfortable feeling of a thick card in his pocket and a tight feeling in his pants made him groan out loud, and his face became hotter once more.

goodness, this was going to be a long wait.

diluc autocorrected into silicone or folic sometimes from my mistypings when i was writing this on my phone

edit: i also could have sworn that i scheduled this for the 17th and not today but oh well

Damn same

me too Smoliv

I dont actually know what to write rn, im lacking motivation and im so buys rn, maybe i can do some headcanon any1 want or what? 😞

Things I Wish I Could Say Out Loud...

¬ Not beta read

Lee x Commandant/Reader

Summary:

There are many things that Lee has documented into his data library. However, lately he has been taking a different method of documentation. This time it's with a voice recorder.

Tags: bittersweet, one-shot, potential spoilers for affection lvl.

"XX of XX, year 21XX, Construct: Lee. Location: Babylonia...... Recording session no. 108 of things I wish I could say out loud..."

*******

It was a small gift from Murray.

Lee took a look at it in his hand.

"What is this for?" the construct asked.

Murray smiled. However, Lee didn't find his own question funny.

"It's something I think you would like. You can record anything you want with it." the man said.

Inspecting the device, the construct only kept a neutral face before replying, "It's not necessary for constructs like me to have these things. My data recording mechanics works just as perfect, if not, it yields 30% more effective than of devices such as these. Output quality, file formating, and sound mixing are all put in consideration when you buy products like this. Constructs have many built in functionality, rendering these thing useless to them..."

Lee's voice faded as he spoke. A dead silence settled between them. The harsh words that Lee put forward didn't seem to hit Murray in anyway, a smile was still kept drawn on his face.

The silence, however, gave Lee an uncomfortable feeling. His synthetic skin mimicked goosebumps. He should say something to ease the silence. That's when he added, "... I don't need this, Murray."

He handed the device to his brother.

Murray shifted and a small laugh escaped his lips.

"I know it's useless, in a technical stand point. But," Murray gently pushed the device back into Lee's hand, "I ought to think that maybe, as useless as it may be, this is exactly what you need."

Lee, after thinking about it, decided to accept the gift out of courtesy. "Very well..." He replied and pocketed the gift.

After receiving the device, Lee gave it a go and tried it out a few times. He didn't like it, and was planning to disassemble the gadget instead.

However, he went against it due to a small talk when he bumped into Murray one day. Who, asked him about the gift, and Lee felt a reluctance to treat the device as it was intented.

He began finding use for the voice recorder. Using it, as a means to record logs or data, however, he found no joy in doing that.

During his weekly frame maintenance check, Lee spotted Asimov, owning the same model of voice recorder on his office desk. In fact there were two.

There was an urge to ask about it, seeing it was a coincidence. Asimov, his look as sour as ever, reply with a sarcastic flare, "One," he held up the left one, "is to document research logs. The other," he held up the right one, "is to collect all my disagreements and complaints against everyone here, hoping that one day I would drop this and have Hassen or someone pick it up and listen to it."

Disputes between departments in the council wasn't unheard of. However, Lee was interested at Asimov's latter use of a voice recorder. It wasn't a bad idea.

Sure, Lee himself has disagreements and verbal fights; especially towards Kamui. But, there were times he restricted his tougne for the sake of his Commandant.

So, when he returned to his quarters, he took the recorder and began to spew his complaints.

*******

"... I dislike the way you always put others before yourself..."

*******

The notification in Lee's system alerted him it was time for a special mission debriefing. The Grey Raven Squard were called in by Celica. Lee left his resting quarters as he headed out to the meeting room. There the rest of his team were waiting for him.

Celica came in last and placed a pile of paperwork on the table. Without hesitation, she began working on the control panel.

Lee noted that this usually means this particular mission is either important or it has a special status in the Babylonia database.

The lights dimmed. Images and information were projected up for everyone to see.

"Operation Underground..." Celica handed out her report file to you, "President Hassen wants the Grey Ravens to be dispatched as soon as possible, " she said.

"After some consideration and thorough analysis, it was concluded an archaic type of memory data is located under this ruin civilisation," the slide show propped up an image of a satelite map, "It was thought, back then, people had been toying about the concept of creating Constructs. Maybe that's why there are so many traces of memory data found there."

"you mean, memory data from the golden age?" you asked.

"Technology -wise yes, but the data... It could be a span ranging way before the golden age. The Science council had send teams to conduct excavation in the ruins, but through out the years corrupted levels are getting higher in that area," Celica said.

"Let me guess, Nikola wants us to investigate the area on the Science Council's behalf?" Lee asked.

"Actually, the main objective isn't to investigate the ruins , more so, President Hassen requested you guys to retrieve an archaic memory data. During the last excavation, the team found a Supercomputer, it was believe it stores the raw data. " she replied.

"but the supercomputers are so old, would the data even been salvageable upon retrieving?" Lucia asked, "As we know, technology back then has a higher probability of crashing and produce incomplete data."

"As long as the data is stored in a super computer, the percentage of data lost during extraction is small, compare to a data chip or a transferring port. Normally, supercomputers have two to four back up drive. If one drive or server courrpts, the other drive will immediately download the data. So extracting straight from a super computer is much safer. But, it's best if data loss can remain below 1.273%." Lee spoke.

Impressed by Lee's analysis, you closed the file and stood up. There was no time to waste in this operation.

"We will look into the details during our descent, Grey Ravens, move out." you ordered and your constructs followed.

As you all walked out of the meeting room, Celica said, "Oh, I almost forgot, this ruin is consider a danger zone, so please do not hesitate to retreat when necessary."

*******

"... I always do my best to serve you, even if my logic and words may make it sound the opposite. Please know, all that I am doing is all for your best interest as well as your future. You have to live, Commandant. At all cost... "

*******

He had been waiting for three hours, twenty four minutes and forty five seconds.

The door in the emergency wards was still closed. Lee could only sit in the waiting seat as his other teams mates were also rushed to the repair room.

He, himself, was considered lucky to have taken minimal damage, in comparison. His arm was ripped off and was given a temporary one for the time being. Although, it was advise to return to the Science department as soon as possible to replenish his vital fluids.

The door automatically slid open and the medical team, along with Asimov came out.

Lee turned his head and waited for the news Asimov had to deliver.

"Calm down, Lee, your Commandant is fine," Asimov huffed, he seems a little exhausted.

"I see, what's the condition?" Lee asked.

"You really need to look out for that Commandant of yours. "Brain damage" might sound a little too harsh, but that's the non techincal diagnosis." Asimov waved his hand, " a much techinal term would be, minor brain scarring."

Lee did not reacted.

"Don't worry about it too much. Your Commandant's condition is consider minor, the situation has been stablize. All that is left to do is to rest and recover."

"May I see Commandant?" Lee questioned.

"..." Asimov heasitated, "... Normally, I don't advise visitation, but, I guess I will let it slide this time." the man narrow his eyes a little.

"... But, I want you out in five minutes, understood?"

*******

"I am doing all this is because..."

*******

"Commandant..." Lee spoke in a small voice. You were asleep on the bed. Monitors and devices all plugged up to you as you slumber in the dimly lit room.

Seeing there was no response emitted from you, Lee spoke once more, "Really, Commandant, why do you have to push yourself again? How many times have you visited the medical bay this month? You know it worries us greatly..." He paused.

He was glad he went against your orders this time. If he hadn't called for Babylonia's retreat plan, you would end up in a much serious condition. Linking with the M. I. N. D beacon for an overwhelming amount of time, is not wise.

For sure, he knew you would get a little annoyed by that, and he played a fake scenario in his head that you were actually awake.

Talking to him, asking him why did he went against your orders, to retreat and not push through. He will agree everyone is close, so close to retrieve the data.

But monitoring the linking time, as well as, asking Liv to scan your physical condition once every 15 minutes. Lee can predict you won't last.

And, his prediction was right, and he should call for retreat much sooner. As soon as you arrived back at the base, you collapse on the floor. You nose bleed as you were rushed to the emergency ward.

His answer would have been the same as of Lucia's and Liv's. To protect your well being is a duty of a construct. However, he wasn't satisfied with that anwser.

There's more he wanted to say.

He knows he's not good with words, often making blunt jabs and spilling out harsh realities. Often times, he felt a little misunderstood because of it.

However, he tries. He really does. And, to be alone with the Commandant, in which, you were in a comatose state, might made it easier for the construct to say something.

Say something that he always wanted to say out loud.

He opened his mouth, lips forming shapes that helps projects words, yet no sound came out from his bionic voice.

He immediately gave up and went out of the emergency ward. That five minutes was over anyway.

*******

"... I want to be with you, be by your side for as long as humanly possible. I don't want to lose you, Commandant... "

*******

After a long break, you peak your head into the Grey Raven's Common room.

There, you saw your constructs resting together as usual. Putting up a big smile you playfully jumped out and reveal yourself at the door.

"I am here!"

"Commandant!" Lucia was surprised and quickly rush towards you Liv followed, happy to see you healthy and well.

As both constructs bombarded you with questions on your well being. Lee only approached and stood with a bit of distance.

"Lee?" you looked at him.

As usual, Palefire wore his signature scowl and crossed his arms, "... I see you are alive and well," he cleared his throat, "Welcome back, Commandant."

"Thank you, Lee."

*******

" Commandant, I...I... Humph..."

**Recording ended**

------------------------------------

Author's note

Hi, I like Lee a lot :)

BTW, the I. T stuff are all based on my limited knowledge of backing up my drawing files. Lol.

©Punishing-eden

don't you realize our bodies could fall apart any second?

141 x male!reader

⚠︎ REPOST FROM PREVIOUS BLOG ⚠︎

warnings: gore, cod typical violence, foul language, kinda angst-y, could be read as either romantic or platonic, actually scratch that very angsty, death, alot of contemplating death, honestly mostly price centered lolz, its also like basically the convoy chase scene so yeah

notes: ⚠︎ this was a request from my previous account!! so uh 🪷 if u see this then here :3 ⚠︎ tsym for requesting !! this was crazy fun to write and i was really excited to work on it!! i had to fudge around some details for it to make a little more sense logistically speaking -- also sorry for taking a long ass while to get it done, but i hope you like regardless :)

(and yeah 🪷 is fine lol)

The horizon of the young night, painted in soft, deep blues, and splattered with stars like the flick of a paint brush, almost completely takes you out of your head. You don't often get the chance to enjoy the beauty around you, and even as you do in this moment, there's shouting and gunfire ringing in the background. Even the heavy pitter patter of rain can't deafen. It was ironic in a way--  you could probably find a cliche metaphor in there somewhere.

The huff of the helicopters rapid blades muffle what you can hear, even with your headset securely cuffed around your ears. The relentless wind beats against your skin, grabbing and pulling at your hair ferociously.

Even after all this time, these missions never fail to get your nerves up.

You feel your heart pound against your chest as Captain Price, in the seat besides the pilot, continues to bark out orders and directions. Pursing your lips, you bring your guns scope back to your eye, grip so tight you might've thought you've left your fingerprints indented into the plastic. You're squatted down on the helicopters floor, leaned against the wall as you use it for cover. Your bullets fly from the open door, aimed for the hostile vehicles set on evading your team.

Sergeant Kyle Garrick, or rather Gaz, mirrors your position on the adjacent side of the door-- Soap and Ghost no doubt holding similar positions behind you.

It's almost looking like this whole thing might go your way.

"Gaz-- [L/N]!" Price calls out over coms. "Anti-Air teams locking onto us-- your side!"

Your aim almost instinctively finds them-- large red lasers all seeming to be pointing directly at you. You squeeze your finger against the trigger, a cold sweat washing over you as you realize your bullets are doing nothing to their body armor. You felt the rhythmic jolt of your gun in your arms-- realizing you were swiftly running out of time, you called by to price, finger never leaving the trigger. "Captain-- They're wearing armor, we can't---!"

"INCOMING!" The frantic shout from Gaz cuts you off, eyes widening as you attempt to shield yourself from the missile blazing towards you. 

Your breath hitches as the heli begins to shake and spin-- you move from the door, pressing your back against the wall, madly grabbing onto whatever you can.

The pilots voice sounds in your ear, her voice strong, yet clearly frenzied. "We're going down, Y'all-- I need to execute an emergency lan-" Another large boom cuts her off, sending the heli plummeting to the ground, violent jerks being an attempt from the pilot to keep you from being obliterated the moment you'd make impact with the ground.

You try to maneuver to a more secure position as the heli grows unstable, but feel as the ground slips from under you, your back crashing again the floor with a heavy thump, head bouncing roughly against it.

Smoke fills the air, and your lungs, as alarms blare from the helis systems. There's a frantic cacophony of shouts as you fumble for anything to hold onto, nails screeching against metal as you claw to keep yourself alive. You feel your body lose to gravity as you begin to slip out, your gun now long gone.

your body dangles outside the heli, as chaos ensues. Your breath is rapid as you're just almost able to lift yourself back into 'safety.' but the rain has made everything slick and unstable. Your grip, your clothes, the metal.

Another hit to the tail end sends the helicopter to the point of no return. Plummeting downwards at seemingly impossible speeds-- in just a few seconds the chopper dove nose first into the ground, the screeching of metal aching on before coming to a silent hault.

The wreckage is still-- silent for a moment.

A sore groan stumbles from Prices throat as he forces his eyes open, a dull pain spreading through his body. On instinct, his hand goes to reach for the pilot, still sitting besides him. He stops as his eyes reach her-- her eyes wide open, empty, a strange glassy eyed stare bore into him. Broken glass litters her deep completion, the hair that had escaped her once neat bun lay stuck to her forehead as sweat and blood coats her flesh.

His chest tightness as he looks past her, into the cabin. After a moment of deadly silence, as if he were scared to ask, he finds his voice. "Are you-" a cough cuts him off, he almost instinctively turns away as he continues to hack through his sentence. "Are you alright!?"

He's partially relieved when a slew of groans answers him. Turning back, ignoring the stare of the pilot, he tries for an exit from the windshield, having been shattered upon impact. As he climbs from the cockpit, he hopes his voice is still loud enough for his team to hear. "Gaz?"

His head snaps as a figure emerges from the wreckage, pushing heavy scraps of metal from its way, and stumbling out from what remained of cabins open door. "'m alright..." He groans out in a hushed whisper, blood coating his forehead. It seems Gaz is still trying to process what's happened.

"Soap?"

As if on cue, Soap follows in Gaz's steps, footing unstable as he attempts to climb out. A string of barely legible curses are spat from his mouth before finally answering with an "I'm fine." The mostly agitated sort of growl sounded like it'd hurt his throat.

Soap extends a hand into the wreckage, a skeleton clad glove reaching for it, gripping it with a grunt as Soap pulls him up.

"Ghost, you alright mate?"

"Not dead yet." Is all he responds, stumbling from the rubble. 

"[L/N]?"

Again, everything's still.

Rain pounds against his head, soaking his hair. He must've lost his hat somewhere in the wreckage.

"[L/N]!" He calls again, straining to listen for your reply. He hisses out a curse as he moves to the demolished, Ghosts voice stopping him mere seconds later.

"Price." He says it like a whisper, not even turning to look at his Captain. Its like he's frozen in panic.

Price turns, his gaze following ghosts a few feet from the crash. barely visible through the rain is a still body.

Your body.

Price doesn't register the fact that he's moving, his feet almost slipping against the mud, till he practically falls to his knees, the momentum of his movement pushing him into your body when he comes in close. His hands hover over your form, fearful his touch might shatter you.

You're on your side, limp as Price continues to mindlessly call your name, as if pleading with you to just hop up, pretending like the crash was just a scrape to your knee. "No, no, nonono- [Y/N]-!"

He rolls you onto your back eyes shooting to a large shard-like piece of metal stabbed into your side. Smaller pieces of shrapnel have torn into your clothes and buried themselves under your skin. His hope begins to falter just before you force out a breath, face twitching on discomfort as you shakily come to. You force your eyes open, meeting the fear-stricken frown of your captain.

Price lets out a breath of relief, putting on a smile to mask his panic. It doesn't work well.

You know something's wrong.

Scoffing at his almost fatherly attempt at comfort, you crack a smile, speaking through a sickly, dry throat. "Now be for real with me, old man; just how bad is it?" He's looking at you like you're a dog about to be put down.

He doesn't answer you.

Heavy boots bound towards you, snapping Price from his poorly concealed panic. His head snapps towards the rest of the team-- but he doesn't have to say a word. They're already doing what they have to.

You hear a certain sort of zip of fabric before you feel Ghosts unmistakeable warm hands pressed against you. You're covered in rain, dirt, and your own blood.

Price is still knelt by your head, trying to keep your attention on him-- trying to keep you talking, to keep you conscious. So it's that bad, huh?

"Kid, can you feel anything?"

You ponder the question, a strange happenstance that you don't know quite how to answer that question. "I feel..." You notice the gush of warmth flow out of your body, and a pulsing dullness. Nothing else. As you breath in to answer, you feel more blood gush from you. "Warm. It's kinda gross, actually." You went to laugh, but your chuckle is caught in your throat. You feel a strange sort of painful stabbing sensation in your legs-- like pins and needles amped up to a hundred. You don't say anything, just silently wince.

Price wordless stands, shouting into his walkie-talkie, as you look to Ghost. You don't dare look at the damage you've been dealt, just barely catching a glimpse of his scarf pressed against your skin, your red staining the once tan fabric.

You snap your eyes up, attempting to focus on the breath you're swiftly loosing. Your breathing grows shallow, despite your efforts to swallow back more air-- it's as if your lungs are simply refusing to work. Your chest aches as you fight for deeper breaths, as if your a fish fighting to survive above the water-- breathing a painful chore.

You try to move, to put a hand around your throat to sooth yourself, but your limbs all feel numb-- heavy, yet jelly-like all the same. It's as if some invisible force is holding you down.

your hearing begins to distort-- almost sounding like your head was plunged underwater, all voices and sounds fading beyond much of your understanding. You recognize Prices voice, shouting into his coms. His words echo three or four times, yet to you it's devoid of any substance or meaning.

Your vision blurs-- maybe it's the rain getting in your eyes, or maybe you're really just dying. You scowl at the cliche you're living through. At the very least, you now know all those books and movies held some truth to them.

he pain worsens as you try to speak to Ghost. "I swear to God, L.T, if I start rambling about seeing a bright light, just shoot me." Ghost doesn't find your attempt at humor very funny.

You're vision begins to go black, fading from the sides until only a fuzzy circle of your vision was left. For a moment you're struggling to figure out whether or not your eyes are closed.

Price continues to shout about medical evac, Gaz is at Ghosts sides, applying pressure to the multiple puncture wounds littering your abdomen as they try to work out a plan to move you to evac without potentially further harming you. Soap is at your side, his gloved hand protectively grabbing onto yours. You think he's talking to you, and you think you're answering, maybe offering him a joke or two to comfort his panic, but you can't be sure. This goes on for awhile, like you were stuck living the same minuet over and over again.

A ringing slowly floods your ears, and all at once your pain is eased. In the midst of such chaos around you, you find a quiet. A stillness. A sort of comforting peace washing over you.

The warmth of your blood is strangely curing. It reminds you of various memories from deep within your childhood-- lost instances of a tender embrace, being lulled to sleep in the arms of a loved one, dark and silent.

Death was an inevitable thought in your line of work. Honestly, the thought was probably the most consistent thing you had in your life. It was always pretty scary-- you didn't know when you'd die, how, what would come after-- frankly it scared you. But now, in the ease, there was a mysterious certainty in the cradle of death, you found yourself accepting the idea as if it were a gift you'd been waiting for.

"[Y/N]?" You've stopped answering Soap. Your instinct is to fight heft in your eyelids, but you're just so tired. As you begin to surrender to the peace, Soaps thick accent cuts through it. "No-- stay with me, [Y/N]!" He shifts his position, laying your head on his lap as his hands rest on your face, shaking your head to keep you awake.

His shout of protest gets Prices attention. Price approaches yet again and takes Soaps former place. He places a hand on your chest and shoulder, shaking you lightly. As he begins to speak, you roll your head towards him, barely making him out through the fuzz. "C'mon, stay with me, son." He sees that sort glassy glint in your eyes. "Don't close your eyes-- close your eyes and you're a goner. Jesus fuck--! Don't you fucking die on me-- that's an order!" His voice shakes despite himself.

You aren't afraid of death. You always thought you'd die slow and painful, but this was....Nice. There's no pain, no fear, nothing but numb. You struggle for a reason to not simply give into yourself-- maybe this was just your time. You're tired-- you're young, but so fucking tired. Why not let go? What are you holding on for?

Your head rolls to the other side. Ghost and Gaz's hands are coated in your blood, their clothes possibly forever stained with the memory of your life fleeting from under their palms. You can feel the warmth of Soaps lap from under your head, one hand lightly slapping your face, and the other combing back your hair with tender care. Weather its to sooth you, himself as a nervous tick, or to just keep your mud soaked hair from your face, it's still appreciated. Price has screamed his throat raw. You never thought you'd see the man falter, but you could feel his once strong hands seem to crumble again you as they gripped almost pathetically at your vest and shirt.

Suddenly you had your answer.

You draw a shallow breath.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Cap."

get to know me, pick some numbers.

1. selfie 2. what would you name your future kids? 3. do you miss anyone? 4. what are you looking forward to? 5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? 6. is it hard for you to get over someone? 7. what was your life like last year? 8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? 9. who did you last see in person? 10. are you good at hiding your feelings? 11. are you listening to music right now? 12. what is something you want right now? 13. how do you feel right now? 14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? 15. personality description 16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? 17. opinion on insecurities. 18. do you miss how things were a year ago? 19. have you ever been to New York? 20. what is your favourite song at the moment? 21. age and birthday? 22. description of crush. 23. fear(s) 24. height 25. role model 26. idol(s) 27. things i hate 28. i’ll love you if… 29. favourite film(s) 30. favourite tv show(s) 31. 3 random facts 32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? 33. something you want to learn 34. most embarrassing moment 35. favourite subject 36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? 37. favourite actor/actress 38. favourite comedian(s) 39. favourite sport(s) 40. favourite memory 41. relationship status 42. favourite book(s) 43. favourite song ever 44. age you get mistaken for 45. how you found out about your idol 46. what my last text message says 47. turn ons 48. turn offs 49. where i want to be right now 50. favourite picture of your idol 51. starsign 52. something i’m talented at 53. 5 things that make me happy 54. something thats worrying me at the moment 55. tumblr friends 56. favourite food(s) 57. favourite animal(s) 58. description of my best friend 59. why i joined tumblr 60. ask me anything you want