Ugh can’t wait for most of these guys to show up on pgr global, anyways look at BEAUTY (4/5)
summary; there's something off every time scaramouche tries to find a partner.... pairings; scaramouche x reader (no pronouns used) warnings; angst angst angst, no beta, uhhh mcd (reader is already dead), what scara is doing here is not healthy bestie scar pls get some help, unhealthy coping mechanism?? (scar trying to cope with your death), do i even have to say hes ooc? notes; this song,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, man this SONG i have been obsessed with 50s love songs so much lately i am so down bad for this one especially,,,, it can be used in like a love fic or whatever this sick idea is the possibilities are literally endless i am so sorry if this is shit, i literally wrote and rewrote this 100 times bc i had a very specific vibe/vision i wanted and i rlly struggled to capture it (and i cant tell if i even did capture what i wanted) but anyway
song; everybody loves somebody- dean martin (pls it makes it so much better to listen while reading)
vv special ty to @alonelysimp for helping me out a bunch w this fic <333 literally wouldnt be possible without all the help xe gave me love u lots bestie
everybody loves somebody sometime.
scaramouche felt sick. he sat at the table with a slightly exasperated expression, his tired eyes staring, calculating, at the chair at the other end. when sultry hands smoothed over his shoulders, his expression only darkened.
these were not your hands.
"scara?" the hands' voice asked. "are you alright?"
and that was not your voice.
he turned, disgust shining through his forced smile.
"get out."
and although my dream is overdue.
he was tired. he was so, so tired of looking into eyes that weren't yours, holding hands that weren't yours, kissing lips that weren't yours.
they weren't you.
none of them were you.
but he couldn't seem to stop searching, pursuing an impossible dream with an insatiable desperation. yet every time he thought he had finally found someone, it all felt wrong.
no, no, no.
this hair is too light.
these eyes are too dull.
they all just weren't the right fit. it was fine. he just needed to try again. he just needed to try harder.
your love made it well worth waiting...
scaramouche dug his nails into his palms, all alone once again. frustration simmered under his skin, threatening to boil over.
it wasn't working.
why isn't it working?
he had been asking the same question all along, but a new, uncomfortable query had dug its claws into his mind.
would anyone truly be able to be like you?
could there really be anyone who had those eyes that rivaled the brightest of stars, or that voice that put ocean waves to shame? would anyone be able to view him the same way you did? to love him the same way you did?
archons, how he missed you. the longing, the need, the desperation for you to be back in his arms was beyond all reason, and sometimes it almost felt like too much.
but it was alright. he would be able to find someone like you if he had to search the entirety of teyvat. someone ought to be able to fill the gaping void shaped like you.
for someone.... like you.
even if he had to force them in.
Hi!
Can I request: Childe
Prompt: "It's not time for us to say Goodbye" Type: Hurt/Comfort.
Scenerio: Reader gets injured, maybe taking a hit meant for Childe? They're hurt pretty badly and he has to get them to a healer/doctor. As he's carrying them, the reader tries to tell him how they Love him so much, and getting ready to say goodbye but he won't let them. Happy Ending please? Thanks So Much!
Word count: 1.0k
Genre: Hurt/comfort
c/w: blood, mentions of his real name
No one will disagree that Childe is a bloodthirsty warrior who was meant to be dressed in blood. He belongs to the battlefield with a blood-streaked face. But your blood was one that he would not want even a pint of, yet it begins to taint his grey jacket from its tips.
Childe carefully moves your head from his forearm to the grass. He yanks his jacket off and drapes it over the wound on your torso to cover it from the rain.
With a weak voice, you quip, “Wow, you’re so hot, especially with that drenched hair of yours.”
The drizzle starts to become heavier. There’s a tinge of annoyance in his voice.
“Cut it out.”
He helps you up onto his back, afraid to move whenever you wince.
You force out a laugh, making jabs at him, “Seeing fear all over the eleventh harbinger’s face is a once in a lifetime sight to behold.”
“Archons, [name], enough!”
It’s a downpour at this point but the rain doesn’t hide the distress that his voice contains. You finally desert the forced smirk on your face.
You reach up to his face but his hand squeezes it before your fingertips touch his cheek. He lifts you onto his back. He doesn’t let go until you’re fully on his back.
He stands up and commits the mistake of looking back behind him. A patch of grass stained red where you lay churns his stomach and turns it upside down. He runs.
Mount Aocang is a distance from Liyue Harbour and while he’s usually cocky about his abilities, his confidence wavers. He doesn’t think he can make it there in time.
“Childe.”
With the blood that trickles down his bare back, he knows where this is going.
“Ajax.”
He bites the inside of his cheek.
“Don’t talk. It’ll worsen the injury.”
The water droplet pelts his eyes and he curses under his breath. You take a deep inhale. “Ajax, please don’t blame yourself. No one saw that coming.”
After a moment of silence, you say, “I love you and g-”
Your words reach him even before it falls off your lips. He snaps, voice a little loud, “Please. I don’t want to hear any of it.”
It startles you, but it doesn’t do much to drive away the temptation of closing your eyes. He apologises to you, choking on the last syllable of his ‘I’m sorry’.
The rhythmic movement of your breathing against his back becomes faint elicits anxiety from him.
“[name]?”
Taking his eyes off the path ahead, he turns to see your eyes flutter open. You give an almost inaudible hum. He almost slips on a puddle and he clenches his jaw.
He contemplates whether or not he should tell you all that he ever wanted to say to you. That he should have been warier of the hilichurls while he was clearing the camp. That he thought that he never deserved love, yet the blood on his hands never stopped you from giving him all that you could. That you are the brightest star he’s ever seen since he fell into the abyss.
But he bites back his words. Saying them would be equal to admitting defeat. If you couldn’t hear it in this life, then he’d carry the words to his next.
Instead, he repeats your name over and over with increasing loudness, even when you stop responding to him. He says it as an assurance. As a plea for help. As a prayer.
The torrential rain stops as his feet step on the wooden bridge into Liyue Harbour. You hear ragged breaths and desperate cries for help just before you black out.
You wake up to warm hands that envelope yours. Childe sleeps on the seat by the bedside. He wears a grey Liyue tangzhuang that fits him just right. Your eyes trail up his arm that was usually concealed, to his faintly red, tear-stained face.
Herbalist Gui walks into the room with some medicine and makes his way to your bedside. He keeps his voice hushed not to wake Childe as he gives you a rundown of your condition. You shoot glances at your boyfriend, expecting the light sleeper to awaken.
But Childe doesn’t and Herbalist Gui catches on your worry.
“He’s having a slight fever due to the rain and exhaustion. He sat outside the operating room and refused to budge when we told him to take a shower and get changed. When he comes to, please try to persuade him to take his meds and rest in the bed right beside yours.”
You nod and he leaves you to rest. As you are about to drift off to sleep, Childe stirs in the chair. You force your eyes to open and you squeeze his hand.
His grip on your hand loosens and one of them cups your cheek.
“Don’t you dare pull that shit ever again.”
You’re about to protest that he would protect you from danger any day, so he shouldn’t tell you not to. But he doesn’t let you continue.
“It’s not time for us to say goodbye,” he mumbles, “Not now. Not in the near future. Not in our next lifetimes.”
“Alright, there’ll never be goodbyes between us. Only ‘see you’s.”
Both of you don’t realise that he’s been holding his breath until he lets out a long exhale. You get him to eat his medication and persuade him to get some proper rest. But he ends up wrapping his arms around one of yours, whining about how he doesn't want to be separated.
You think about teasing him for the big baby he is, but you spare him due to your fatigue. Without trying to aggravate your wound, you shift your body to make space for him. You pat the small space you’ve made on the bed and he climbs onto it.
Both of you shift around a little more to make some space for each other on the tiny bed meant for one. You finally settle in his arms around your body. Not long later, his breathing steadies and you figure he’s finally gone into a deep sleep.
Resting your other arm on his side, you drift off to sleep. Bodies flushed against each other, the thought parting ways distances itself from your mind. Neither of you will admit it, but a ‘see you’ would hurt all the same too.
a/n: to the anon who sent this, I'm sorry I took a while and I hope you'll see this :">
Taglist (open): @tiredzephh @rxspbrrry @almondoufu @bluexiao @yeetmeoffjueyunkarst @chichikoi @bookuya @under-a-starry-night @mikachuchu @serenenation @shxnosuke
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A STRENGTH OF A THOUSAND.
— manjiro sano x reader
— themes. angst, implied character death
— tw. su*cide
— inspired by that one heartbreaking scene from a silent voice movie.
in hindsight, you should have seen this coming. warning bells blaring in your ears, but for some reason, you weren't able to hear it. only now have you trully seen the dead, cold look in his eyes that continuously begs for some sort of relief, and his chapped lips that bleeds everytime he gnaws at it to keep his expression as neutral as possible; to keep everything bottled up because he believes he does not deserve to be relieved of the crushing weight that burdened his shoulders.
you should have seen this coming—his endpoint. the day he finally snaps and he's ready to admit just how tired he was of living. his face, void of any emotions just like the dead look in his eyes, but the shakiness of his hands betrayed his thoughts.
and then you realized mikey didn't want to die, he just thinks he has to for the sake of the future takemitchi wants. a future where everyone is alive and happy. you—where were you when all of this happening to him? sleeping soundly while his monstrous thoughts ate his mind up and kept him awake at night? laughing together with your friends while he stays in this rundown building, utterly alone with no one but himself to comfort.
where were you when mikey needed the help the most?
"mikey, come down from there—" you can hear your voice tremble as you took a careful step forward. mikey's back faced you, the bonten insignia on his neck glaring harshly down on you; like it was mocking you for being so ignorant of your friend. mikey stays incredibly still, balancing on the rooftop railing with his arms limped on his sides.
only now have you noticed how incredibly thin he was, as if his arms were going to snap at any given pressure. "come down, please?"
mikey ignores your pleas like you weren't there at all. he looks up to see the full moon that shined above his lonesome figure, and he realized how peaceful the night can be if he looked at it more closely. he can hear someone shout from the bottom, though he assumes it were probably his subordinates who are currently watching his every move right now.
mikey smiles so painfully fake and he turns around to face you. your breath hitches, caught in your throat as his feet edged closer to nothingness. "i'm happy," he says. there were no tears, but his vacant eyes cried for solace. your lips quivered when you took another step near, only to stop when he takes one back. you blinked away the tears that were starting to form itself at the corner of your eyes, and you could feel them run down your cheeks. "i'm happy that i get to see you one last time."
your eyes widened when mikey lifts both of his arms up, one foot into the air to move forward. "mikey—"
"i'm really happy."
you don't know what happened after he had said that. everything became a blur, and all you know was the feeling of pure adrenaline rushing through your veins, the way your heart raced as if you had just ran a hundred miles.
you blinked and you were suddenly leaning against the railing where mikey once stood, hands stretched downward and you could finally feel the abnormally light weight of mikey's body dragging you down. you looked down and you see him, except his eyes were no longer void of anything—the blackness of his irises were scared, for you or for him, you weren't sure. the blackness of his irises shook, and he shouts in the highest volume that you didn't know he was capable of.
"what the hell are you doing?!"
your arms were beginning to ache, granted you have never once worked out to keep your body in shape. you weren't as strong as draken, nor mikey himself. if anything, you were probably even weaker than takemitchi who atleast have the power of a thousand in his heart.
but you pushed yourself on the balls of your feets anyway, one hand gripping on the railing for support while you tried your best to pull him up. "just let me go," you heard him sniffle, and there were tears now flowing from his eyes. mikey stares at you and you could only stare back.
you could feel your feet being lifted off of the ground the longer you hold him, and it is then you realized you don't have much time. the one hand that supported your weight on the railing lets go to clasp them around mikey's wrist, and you gave him a smile despite the tears and snot that messily decorates your face.
"you really think i can do that?" you choked out. "just grab on to the railing, mikey—"
there was nothing holding you back from falling down yourself but fright was not the emotion that cursed through you when you felt the way your feet had lifted off of the ground completely. all you felt was the fear of not being able to save mikey, fear for the future where he won't be alive to see another day; the future where he's only a passing memory.
you didn't want that.
mikey's free hand quietly reached up to the railing. something about your stubbornness, how you're risking your life to save him right now, is reawakening his desire to continue on living—with you, with everyone. the way your hands tightly held his without any intention of letting him go stirred something within him, and he finds himself trying to escape the death he have craved for so long.
you pulled mikey up with every once of strength you've got and he finds himself doing the same. his feet barely grazing the solid cement of the rooftop, but when he turns to the side to look at you with his tear-filled eyes, you weren't there to greet him anymore.
you could feel the air enter your lungs and danced inbetween your hair. suspended as gravity rapidly tried to pull you back down to the ground. you stared as mikey's figure becomes smaller and smaller, and you suddenly remembered how you were supposed to be scared of heights.
however, as you continued to fall to your doom, the fear you once felt were all washed out of your system, because as you stared at mikey's tiny silhouette, all you felt was relief.
that he's alive.
and that's all you cared about even when your back harshly meets the earth, and your eyes does not open to see him one more time.
since today is the last day of pride month, here’s some headcanons over how these characters would act at pride
Itadori
-Itadori is super excited to go to pride because he genuinely wants to show his support and learn new things about the community.
-He is legit decked out in a rainbow shirt along with a ton of colorful necklace beads and vibrant face paint drawn across his face.
-Itadori just has the biggest smile on his face as his eyes take in all the lively surroundings around him. He’s waving a tiny flag around in his hands while cheering loudly when he notices that everyone else is as well.
-People would start to sense Itadori’s enthusiasm to be here right now, so Itadori has a lot of people who come up to him and give him things such as flower crowns, glasses, and pins. There are also people who would call him over and start dancing with him to the music playing loudly on the speakers.
-He’s complimenting everyone’s fashion as he walks by them and somehow finds himself taking pictures with a lot of random strangers.
-He’s listening intently to the stories and experiences of others when they’re giving speeches and he slowly starts to become educated of the history and significance of this festival. By the end of the day, Itadori appreciates and acknowledges how important pride month is to many people and will now have such an happy memory forever ingrained in his head.
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the more i think about it, the more i’m convinced that lee is very hormonal compared to other male constructs (wanshi is an exception to this of course, the guy is just very flirty). few examples so far that i can think of:
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HANMA X READER WHERE READER PLAYS WITH HIS HANDS HELLO
playing with your boyfriend’s hands.
𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠... hanma shuuji x gn!reader
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 - written in a rush, mentions of violence/gore, reader is in highschool
𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 - the handma fucker is back at it again... also i don’t have a hand kink but i have friends who do so let’s just say i learned this from them ! <3
𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐌𝐀 had some very nice hands. especially for all of the beating up he does for fun. not even because they did anything that was actually wrong, but because he thought they looked at him funny. violence is the only option for this man and you have no idea how you find it so attractive.
one day he came to your apartment with some messed up wounds. bleeding from everywhere, waiting to be infected. and burns? like cigarette burns, more specifically.
“what did you do this time,” you sigh and let him in.
“some small gang thought they would win against me but they played dirty.” he grimaced as he walked over and sat down in a chair, awaiting your care. jeez, did they do that much to him?
“and this is why i don’t like you fighting random people on the street, especially by yourself. shuu, you gotta be more careful than this.”
you reach into a cabinet almost out of your reach, but you were able to get it. maybe you should put it somewhere more accessible when he comes to you all beat up all the time.
“yeah, but where’s the fun in that?”
“where’s the fun in you being hurt and me taking care of you at 3 am every few days?”
“i get to see you ♡“ he laughed, then winced when you put some cleaning alcohol on one of his bigger cuts.
“i also like seeing you, but not when you’re all beat up. you know that you’re always welcome here even without injuries.” you reach into the first-aid kit to get some medical tape since you were not a heathcare professional, but it definitely felt like it sometimes.
“well you’re no fun,” he frowns. he’s leaning back onto the backrest, tempted to tip himself over.
“then you can take care of yourself. i don’t like being woken up in the middle of the night because of your dumbass.”
he doesn’t respond, leaving the two of you in a somewhat uncomfortable silence. after almost an hour of disinfecting and wrapping up his wounds, the cigarette burns were the only ones left. gnarly-looking too.
“here, put this on yourself. i’ll sleep on the couch, you can sleep in--”
“i need help with this.” you were so tired. you were a full-time student and you worked at a small store part-time for some extra cash, and now the caretaker of this boy who got into useless fights. sometimes you wondered why you continued to love this man.
“fine, but i’m teaching you how to do it and you better remember for the next time.”
that took a whole ‘nother hour. it was now almost 5 am and it was now wednesday morning. you’d rather skip school today, but your scholarship would be on the line if you just slept in.
“just stay here, i’ll pay off your school debt at some point for ya.”
“i can’t do that, i don’t even pay for my apartment.” he sighs and picks you up into his arms and heads to your bedroom where he also frequently crashed.
“goodnight, (y/n),” he says, snuggling up into you. it was so warm... you just completely passed out.
your alarm woke you up at 7 am, as it should, but you turned it off and tried to go back to sleep. though the problem is that you couldn’t go back to sleep. problem number two, hanma’s strong arms were wrapped around you and he was the big spoon.
you didn’t wanna wake him up, but the only thing you could really do right at that moment was play with his hands.
you were gentle, since the wrapping was pretty bad. sometimes you considered going around with him when he got into fights. personal on-site medic.
while you were caught up in your thoughts, you continued to play with his hands. messed around with his individual fingers, feeling their callouses developed over years and years of fighting with his bare hands.
at some point you must’ve woken your boyfriend up since he held you closer and broke you out of your many thoughts. you also happened to stop playing with his hands since he retracted them to hold you closer to his body.
“good morning to you too,” he grumbles, his morning voice raspy and low.
“sorry, did i wake you up?”
“no, your damn alarm did.” he pulls you even closer (somehow) and takes a deep breath into your shoulder. “let’s go back to sleep and,”
“you can keep playing with my hands, hun.”
secret relationship trope.
pairings: diluc, scaramouche, xiao + gender neutral reader
author's note: fluff!! also might make a pt.2, what characters would y'all like to see for that? (。•̀ᴗ-)✧
☆ diluc: modern au
the red-haired male simply rolls his eyes, ignoring his irritating brother, kaeya, and his teasings of the mysterious keychain stuck to diluc's belt loop.
the keychain is of a very cute, miniature green dinosaur, which feels very uncharacteristic for someone like diluc ragnvindr to have. and kaeya knows his brother, does he not? the very man who's stoic face and aura drives most women looking for romance away, has a dinosaur looped to his belt.
...it's definitely odd.
every question about the keychain from his brother goes straight through diluc's ear and right out of the other, but once diluc's wine bar closes for the night, kaeya finally leaves out of the door (thankfully! ).
yet the next following afternoon, when kaeya goes out for a relaxing lunch break with his co-workers, he notices that there's a familiar looking bracelet wrapped around your wrist as you wave your hand around and talk to jean.
and what do you know... it's a blue dinosaur...?? that looks very similar to diluc's keychain??
when kaeya asks you about it after your conversation, you calmly respond with a "oh, this? amber got it for me! it's cute isn't it?" while lisa fawns over it, kaeya concludes that there's no way you and diluc are matching accessories, leaving it at that.
you don't mention that amber gave you those in a pack of two.
when it's time to go back to your offices, you let out a discreet sigh of relief and keep a calm smile on your face. because after all, kaeya noticing your bracelet lets you know that your lover did wear his matching keychain, in the end. even after he told you he wouldn't be able to use such a thing.
☆ scaramouche: canon universe
dropping a little something on accident during a harbinger meeting is practically considered normal. you just crouch down, pick it back up, and everybody moves on with the talking.
sometimes it may be childe dropping a pencil, la signora dropping a pen, or dottore accidentally letting a paper slip away. sometimes it's even you who drops something, but nobody ever dotes on it for too long before continuing.
in the current meeting of the day, a pen accidentally slips out of your palm— but as usual, it's no big deal. you bend down to pick it up, but as soon as you get back up, you can feel scaramouche's hand gently cover the back of your head so you don't hit it harshly against the underside of the table.
you sit back into your chair and mumble him a quick thank you, but everyone else around the table still seems to notice it; especially childe who currently has the biggest wide-eye look on his face. but who would dare interrupt the tsaritsa about it during the meeting?
when the meeting is eventually over and childe points it out afterwards, the cobalt-haired male just scoffs in reply that it was "common human decency". and of course, childe has to mention that scaramouche never did that for him— cue the two of them starting a reckless banter in the hallway. even la signora throws you a curious look.
unbeknownst to you, though, all scaramouche can think about is the urge to explain that childe that he isn't his lover, so why should he cover the ginger's head?
but of course, the relationship between you two should be kept a secret... for now.
☆ xiao: highschool au
truthfully xiao does not mind having a private, romatic relationship with his partner. in fact, he prefers it— to be able to be affectionate with his lover with no one there to judge him on the sidelines.
yet... having a secret relationship does have its downsides.
for example: when xiao cannot be found during a lunch break one day, he is unfortunately interrogated by a certain someone when he arrives back to the classroom for the next class. of course there's a bombard of questions from hu tao, 'cause where on earth could xiao could've have gone in that time?? especially when he usually hangs out with her, keqing, and ganyu?
in the end, xiao flatly responds to the main question of "where were you?" with a simple "nowhere", having to sit through the feeling of hu tao's eyes digging suspicious holes into the back of his head during class.
well, what else is he supposed to do? explain that he was exchanging secret hugs with you in the empty classroom on the floor above, and revealing both of your relationship statuses in the meantime?
you had texted him previously that you had failed a test he knew you studied really hard for (because you came over to his house to study), and just something in him despite being the tsundere he is knew to comfort you somehow. and apparently he was right and that physical affection was your main love language, cause tucking your face into his chest and patting the back of your head gently got you to feel better.
...but obviously, xiao won't be informing his friends about that anytime soon. so avoiding questions will have to do for now.
In Black And White
Contract marriage au ft. Childe
[1] - vassal and friend
[2] - a failed gamble
[3] - duty means sacrifice
[4] - new chapter, old friend
[5] - just sign here
[6] - TBD
Taglist open! Send an ask to be added!
[ @aezuyu @yinyinggie @ayatoforlife @eowinthetraveler @tartaglia-apologist @who-is-saylynn @theblueblub @stcrfeesh @boundedbyfate ]
Pairing: Childe x GN! Reader
Warnings: it’s just angst
A/N: i’m exhausted but i really wanted to write this. slightly based off Olivia Rodrigo’s song Driver’s License
Word Count: 3,127
Another letter, another batch of lies. The crisp pale paper sat on the table, delicate letters that spelled your name staring up at you. The red wax stamped with his insignia burned into your mind, filling every thought in your head, despite trying to go on with your day. Was it really worth it to open the parchment? Every letter that arrived on the doorstep, with the same handwriting scribbled onto it felt like another push out of his life. Paragraphs describing the beautiful blonde outlander traveller that had caught his heart made your chest hurt with every word that he wrote. How long had it been since you had last seen the young ginger Harbinger whose lopsided smile made your heart skip a beat. Though he had been sent away on a mission to Liyue, you stayed behind to manage your parent’s business in Snezhnaya. Everything could only go downhill from there. You took the seat in the back as you watched letters arrive at your doorstep with pages of Childe’s handwriting describing the new nation he was exploring and the people who he met. But in every letter, he never failed to mention the golden eyed beauty who was Lumine. In the darkest parts of your heart, you wished that Childe would stop sending you letters, that he would just forget about the best friend who remained smitten by him. Rapid knocks on your door interrupted you from your thoughts. A chorus of giggles erupted from behind your door and you bit back a sigh, knowing exactly who was standing out in the cold.
“Did big brother send you a letter too?!” Teucer greeted you the moment your door cracked open, his bright blue eyes looking up at you with excitement and curiosity swimming inside of them. Tonia apologized for the lack of courtesy from her brother, but you could tell that she too, wanted to know if you received anything. A part of you wanted to lie to the two young children, and tell them that Childe didn’t send you anything. But there was no way to deny the two pairs of ocean eyes that twinkled with curiosity. You could tell Tonia was hiding something behind her back yet you didn’t pry, instead, forcing a smile to your face and admitting that their elder brother had sent you a letter.
“Have you read it yet?” Tonia giggled and pulled out the object behind her back. It was another letter, but addressed to her instead. You opened your mouth to reply, but the young ginger haired girl was already speaking rapidly, explaining all that her brother had written in his latest letter. You watched in silence as Teucer stood up on his tiptoes to peak over at the words his sister was reading off and your breath caught in your throat. Teucer was almost exactly like Childe, in his actions and looks.
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