• 11thJune 2021 •

quotes that help me survive:

“You are not lost. You are here. Stop abandoning yourself. Stop repeating this myth about love and success that will land in your lap or evade you forever. Build a humble, flawed life from the rubble, and cherish that. There is nothing more glorious on the face of the earth than someone who refuses to give up, who refuses to give in to their most self-hating, discouraged, disillusioned self, and instead learns, slowly and painfully, how to relish the feeling of building a hut in middle of the suffocating dust.” — Heather Havrilesky, Ask Polly

this tumblr text post:

“To live in this world you must be able to do three things: to love what is mortal; to hold it against your bones knowing your own life depends on it; and, when the time comes to let it go, to let it go.” — Mary Oliver

From an interview with Kazu Makino:

Instructions On Not Giving Up, Ada Limon:

And this poster by Yumi Sakugawa

“You have to believe, in your heart, that even if you don’t work hard and exercise and think positive thoughts and make new friends and march triumphantly into the future, you are still enough. You will always have bad days. Being broken doesn’t make you a loser. You can crumble, and you will still be enough. Make that your religion moving forward. You are here to feel this moment. You are not here to become someone better. You are not here to impress or compete. You are not here to prove yourself. You are here to savor this life. Let down your guard. You are already enough. Believe it.” — Heather Havrilesky

“The first feminist gesture is to say: “Ok. They’re looking at me. But I’m looking at them.” The act of deciding to look, of deciding that the world is not defined by how people see me, but by how I see them.” -Agnès Varda

lyrics from the song Grow by The Oh Hellos:

“The world’s otherness is antidote to confusion, that standing within this otherness—the beauty and the mystery of the world, out in the fields or deep inside books—can re-dignify the worst-stung heart.” — Mary Oliver

“I hope you will go out and let stories, that is life, happen to you,and that you will work with these stories from your life--not someone else's life--water them with your blood and tears and your laughter till they bloom, till you yourself burst into bloom. That is the work. The only work.” — Clarissa Pinkola Estes

Ladies, if you have a crush, are obsessing over a guy or fantasising about a man that is inaccessible for whatever reason this message is for you. This a wake-up call. A slap-in-the-fucking-face moment to tell you to GET this person out your head so you can start living and enjoying life WITH an actual person you desire instead living in this made-up fantasy world with a man that’s out of reach. 

Firstly, why the hell are you letting any man live rent free in your mind? A man you’re not even with, a man that’s not even paying your bills? Sweetie, get-it-together. Do you know what mentally happens when you overthink about a man? You put him on a pedestal. You create separation. You focus in and you repel, because you are now in masculine energy. A man in his masculine hunts, and focuses in on his target. How can there be healthy polarity between you both if you are also in the masculine role? Do you see how damaging this is? Instead of living in separation from your desires, start telling yourself, it’s normal to be in a relationship with a man you desire, it’s normal for men to be attracted to me. If you’re in the habit of having crushes, but not actually having relationships, work on using the statements above every single day for re-programming. 

Finally. Everything you want is accessible to you, don’t ever fucking believe you can’t have a healthy relationship, that you’re not worthy of an actual relationship with a man you desire. You can and will have it all sweetie, maybe not this guy, maybe not even the next. But the right man will be accessible to you. You won’t need to be dreaming about being close to him, to having him touch you, kiss you, fuck you. This will be your reality. Don’t even think about wasting a moment longer on a crush, a man who friend-zoned you, the man who wants you but doesn’t want you. Let them go, you deserve available men. Over and out. 

Advice your mother should’ve given you.

Stick by your word and stand firm with your boundaries. Don’t allow people to poke, probe, and push your limits, boundaries, and no zones after you told them not to. Don’t be fooled, all people need is one warning to get the memo that something is off limits, but no one will respect a person who is all talk and no action. Put action behind your words, no one will take your words seriously if you don’t, empty threats get you nowhere. People only continue trying you when they know/think they can get away with it. Say it with me, first times a warning, second times a done deal. Don’t disrespect yourself by going against your boundaries and personal code. 

How do you stay motivated?

Motivation is a fickle bitch. Don’t expect motivation. You don’t stay motivated; you work through the periods of exhaustion and disinterest with relentless discipline and enjoy the moments of motivation when they come, ride the wave, and then struggle through the depths again.

(Habit, not motivation, should be your best friend. Routine, persistence, patience.)

You know its a good day for me when I get two eggs for dinner.

If you're not in my circle, I don't care if you cried or died, I'm not gonna shed a tear.

Someone told me I was heartless in 6th grade and now, I've made that my character theme.

Thank you!

FIRST DAY AT WORK TIPS

A few tips Ive gathered over the years starting many new jobs, and being a manager. Works for either career jobs or beginner jobs.

1- You're barely starting, they don't have much expectations already. Be polite, be graceful, do everything your best possible. Stuff can go wrong obvs, but try to extract the lessons from the problems and move ON.

2- The beginning is the BEST time to ask questions. A good manager would be actually happy you're asking questions, because it demonstrates you want to do well. Ask ask ask ask questions. Don't be shy. Bring a small notebook + pencil to note down important information, this small detail BOOSTS your image. Arrive PREPARED, as much as you possibly can be. To not appear like you haven't listened, repeat a crucial related information, then ask the question. "I know that we have to insert the customer name there, and never forget to add the code, what if [special case] happens, what should I do?" It makes you look like you're very intentional and seeking to be your best ever. .

3- If they hired you, it means they know you can make it. You have the basics to be able to do the job. Otherwise it would've been a waste of energy and time for everyone, no? Trust that they selected the best candidate for the work (aka you).

4- The first few months are the most tiring and rough. So many new faces, new things to learn, new routines, etc. Try to ride it out, try to establish a nice healthy routine at work and around work, and obvs don't neglect your self-care that will make you spin down from the accumulated stress. Do not neglect your health & wellbeing routine.

5- If the job fails, no worry, brush up your CV and start sending more and more of those CVs to jobs. Make it a daily habit until you're fully HIRED. Do not fret over being fired or having to quit (because shitty jobs do exist), move on, move on, move on!!

Vet jobs as you would with potential husbands. Pays well, treats well, is mindful of your time and limitations, etc.

[28/05/13]

are your excuses more important than your dreams?

need to get more motivation for mid-yearlies from somewhere