I’ve Never Seen The Show But The Idea That Kaz And Nina Would Not Both Put Their All Into Pretending

biblically accurate Andrew Minyard is eminem

anyone else constantly thinking about that part in greywaren where adam talks about how he killed the other versions of himself to be this new version and how he stored his truth in ronan and lost sight of his real self and how he missed knowing where he was going, or is that just me?

Crooked Kingdom chapter 16

are we gonna talk about Andrew using his eidetic memory to draw something?? like he doodles in his notebook during lectures and it's the most fucking accurate sketch of a gothic building you've ever seen? like babe you do have a hobby, Neil just doesn't know about it, does he?

do you have a secret sketchbook hidden under your mattress that's filled with drawings of Renee's smile or Kevin's broken hand? do you memorize every one of Neil's scars to make a map of them in your book? are you gonna reveal that secret and show Neil your stupid drawings?

does Nicky miss his boyfriend so much that once he finds a rough sketch of Eric between the sheets of his book? it's fucking creepy till he finds the note saying 'a.j.m. used him as a reference'

does Kevin look surprised, when you pass him a piece of paper, not knowing yet that you made a research about his mother to draw her as perfect as you can?

does Aaron smile when you give him a drawing of his stupid girlfriend or he silently folds it into his wallet and strides away?

does Bee starts to collect your doodles of insects that you make during your sessions? can Wymack hold back his tears when he finds a portrait of Seth Gordon on his desk, knowing who has the access to his study and a fucking huge warm and loving heart under the layers of not giving a fuck about life? you tell me.

random thoughts i’m having while rereading the trb (this is just in the first like 80 pages because im obsessed)

oh my god gansey canonically drinks frapaccinos (because he’s so 2013 hipster)

“i thought you were dead in a ditch” i love ronan

gansey is so unknowable in the books no wonder everyone’s so obsessed with him

love that adam’s crush on ronan manifests first through an obsession with declan. ronan and declan would both equally hate that

gansey and ronan do donuts with their cars?? they are the same

ganseys duality being shown through having a bunch of random history books and swimsuit magazines thrown around is so funny

declan, king. why would you bring your girlfriend to meet your estranged brother’s weird friends - and specifically ask said friends to make sure it’s when ronan is gone lmao he’s so weird

glendower doesn’t gets mentioned until pg.44 - we have to get through copious and lovely descriptions by adam of gansey’s psyche in order to find out like, the plot of the book

we sort of get hints of gansey being friends with both declan and ronan until nialls death and him ultimately picking ronan which, ouch.

WHY IS GANSEY SUCH AS ASSHOLE OH MY GOD BLUE RUN i love them

omg blue describes gansey as “very tall” and around the same height as the other boys - rip short king representation (this is not aftg ig)

CANNOT STRESS HOW VALID BLUE IS AND HOW STUPID GANSEY IS WHEN THEY MEET WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY GANSEY

“devil waitress ” and “evil” jesus christ gansey calm down

love the fact that while ronan and declan are fighting and gansey is breaking up the fight, adam is playing with a spongebob bouncy ball. unbothered king

(The foxes) you better not mess with my gang or you'll be messing with...

Oopie Goopie (Neil)

General Munchkinman (Renee)

Lil Jimbob (Andrew)

And worst of all...

Larry (Kevin at 5 am)

gonna have a lot of fun with these

omfg this is incredible

Prompt: Andrew and Aaron "bonding," with mixed results

they can’t play any sort of racing-based video game with each other because once andrew said ‘if gays can’t drive then why do you keep eating my dust’ and aaron threw a controller at him and hit the wall instead. aaron tried to lie about why there was a dent in the wall. andrew did not.

‘minyard bonding’: anything from ‘we’re dyeing our hair matching shades of green because it’ll piss kevin off’ to ‘property damage? property damage.’ dan will never quite forget the matching look on their faces as they were leaving fox tower one night with backpacks full of spray paint

‘aaron if you steal syringes from the bio lab i can use them to inject chocolate syrup DIRECTLY into cakes. steal them aaron. do it.’ (aaron does it. he doesn’t ask but they both know andrew got the idea from gbbo)

the day after they finish finals their last year they take all of aaron’s lab notebooks outside and burn them. andrew brings a kazoo and plays the palmetto fight song extremely off-key. did i mention it’s 1am

speaking of kazoos: they both have them and it’s a Problem especially since neither of them can match pitch

more under the cut!

their other hobbies: going to a store in matching outfits, but only going in one at a time and checking out a few minutes apart at the same register with slightly different items to make the cashier think they’re losing it; the ‘what if we got mixed up at birth and you’re actually aaron and i’m actually andrew’ discussion that inevitably turns into existential crises at 3am in columbia; fighting over whether peanut butter or mint goes better with chocolate; punch buggy that goes WAY harder than necessary

‘what if i locked you in the bathroom and took your finals for you and answered every question with b’

‘what if i emailed all of my professors from the bathroom and claimed you stole my identity and then emailed all of YOUR professors and told them you like eating chalk and your favorite flavor is purple’

'there was no call for that kind of slander'

'there was no call for that kind of damage to my gpa'

other noted forms of minyard bonding: making fun of each other re: significant others

‘hey ANDREW you looked pretty comfortable in the LIBRARY yesterday. thought you didn’t like libraries hmmm???????????? is it because....... neil was there’

‘rich coming from a guy who changed sections of his neuroscience lecture because katelyn had a class across the hall’

‘at least i don’t have to compete with kevin for katelyn’s attention’

‘i don’t compete with kevin. i win’

‘my point still stands’

‘no it doesn’t’

‘yes it does’

nicky: oh my god guys do you have to have this conversation while we’re literally in the middle of a game

andrew and aaron, simultaneously: yes

aaron complains about some book he has to read for his literature GE class and andrew memorizes it and follows him around reciting it. other things andrew has memorized specifically to harass aaron: the bee movie, my immortal, moby dick, the cheesecake factory menu

andrew tries to steal aaron's fries at sweeties and aaron whips out a spray bottle and spritzes him in the face and says 'NO'

'neil did you know the real reason andrew never dances at eden's is because he only knows fortnite dances'

'that is false'

'sure it is'

neil: what's fortnite

andrew, wielding scissors in a threatening manner: we look too alike

aaron, not looking up from his phone: fucking get a nose piercing or something then, not my problem

aaron also has a massive sweet tooth but unlike andrew he actually gives a shit about staying relatively healthy so he doesn't indulge it too often. but then they get drunk and order 10 pounds of personalized m&ms and argue for forty minutes about what color to get (the only thing they can agree on-- not fucking orange). aaron forgets this happened. andrew does not. when 10 pounds of personalized blue and green m&ms that all say 'fcuk ravenz' arrive at fox tower, it causes quite the uproar

hey has anyone pointed out the fact that neil’s mother was named mary (as in jesus’ mother) and his bf’s middle name is joseph (as in jesus’ earthly father)?? that’s gotta mean something but idk what. best i can come up with is nora feeling silly about neil’s daddy issues

EDIT: i cracked it. as neil’s biological mother, mary feels a responsibility for him based on their shared lineage and half of him being her. in contrast, andrew—like joseph—chooses to care for neil without an underlying sense of familial obligation

Aftg as racoons pt.2

Neil to the twins:

Twinyards:

Andrew

Aaron: