sometimes i wish i could grab my childhood self and shake them by the shoulders and say YOU'RE GOOD. YOU'RE WORTH LOVING. THERE ARE PEOPLE WHOSE LIVES ARE MADE BETTER BECAUSE OF YOU. YOU ARE NOT A BURDEN. YOU ARE NOT DAMNED. SOMEDAY YOU WILL CRY OVER SUNSETS AND POETRY MORE THAN YOUR OWN PAIN. I NEED YOU TO REMEMBER THAT YOU'RE GOOD. YOU'RE WORTH LOVING. but i can't go back in time, so i say it to myself now. because i believe there's a future version of me looking back on this moment feeling the exact same way.
Iβm a survivor from Gaza, holding on to hope in a world that has fallen apart around me. π
The life I once knew β my home, my family, my sense of safety β has been shattered by war. Today, I live among the ruins, trying to find a path forward through the rubble and heartbreak. π
Every moment is a battle against fear and uncertainty. What was once ordinary β a safe place to sleep, a future to dream of β now feels like a distant memory. ποΈ
I share my story not to seek pity, but to keep hope alive β to believe that even in the darkest places, kindness can still find a way. π€
If my story touches your heart, please consider sharing it or offering support. Every voice, every act of care, brings me one step closer to safety. β¨
Thank you for taking the time to listen. π
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absolutely ! the donations are for evacuation. as a result, they are desperately waiting for a chance to escape this genocide, even if just for a while, until safety returns to Gaza.
yesterday at the game shop someone asked me when I started 3D printing. I told them a couple years ago, it was really easy to get into, sometimes I make things for commission, etc etc
then this person, this child, looked me square in the face and said "do you think it's too late for me to start? I'm almost 17..."
almost 17
ALMOST. SEVEN. TEEN.
when I tell you my soul left my body over this child, this mere not-even-17 year old, thinking they were already too old to start a new hobby, lemme tell you, I did not know how to respond
so i need yall to repeat after me
it is never too late to start a new hobby
you wanna learn to crochet at 47? go off king! learn to paint at 69? nice! learn embroidery on your death bed?? it is literally never too late!! you don't even have to be good. it's absolutely wonderful to see people who are just ok or even bad at something doing that something unabashedly and at whatever age they happen to be
(through gritted teeth) sometimes what's good for your mental health isn't another do nothing day or a little treat sometimes what's good for you is putting in some of the work. Not all of it at once but sometimes you have to finish that essay or at least take the next step or you have to clean your room or at least dust the shelves or you gotta do the laundry or at least put it all in the hamper and it's not fun and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks and it sucks but you have to because i read a post on the internet that told me that's what being nice to yourself is sometimes
You're gonna be ok. It will be fine. Things will sort themselves out. It's gonna be fine. You will be just fine. You're allowed to stop stressing.
Sometimes, it's really hard for me to express myself into words. Maybe, that's because I need to know myself more and more. But it is becoming easier with you now. You might be thinking there are so many things inside my head and I bring out only a bit of it. I don't know if I have the strength to hold onto myself but, I know one thing, I am able to hold onto you as tightly as possible because I don't want to let you go. You can call me selfish and yes I am, because it's you. When I do anything wrong to you, I really feel that guilt, that ache of not being able to apologize whereas my heart actually wants to, very badly. It isnβt right ! But I always believe in showing my flaws to you because I know it's only you who will value them wholeheartedly. I do several bad things out of anger, take wrong decisions but I realize it too with utter grievances towards myself. I start hating myself for not being able to apologize to you for every mistake. I am afraid I will lose you. At times, I don't want you to be anybody else's company except mine knowing that is selfish enough. I am sorry. You have that freedom. When I feel dull and sad not talking to you, I want you to feel the same too. I hope you understand. I don't force you to do anything because it will become a habit. I will constantly force you to do things and in the process I may lose the grip. But I want to have all the rights on you.
That night when you said I must show my right on you, I was so happy, indeed happy to see you are holding me with your all. I want to take care of you. I am a messy person but I would still keep you organized, learn and cook your favorite dish with all my love. I want to stay awake lying beside you when you are sick and caressing you to sleep would be my utmost priority. I take bad decisions to keep us aloof, to keep us safe and not to hurt us. Forgive me for that. I want to dress up according to your choices of attire, to read your kind of books and embrace the new changes in me, to sing your favorite songs, to travel to your favorite places. I want to talk to you about the silly white lies being told to make things work good. These things would make me happier. I guess this is an in-built part of me which I could never express.
i'm holding these lil guys so gently
Idgaf if you don't want to write essays for school. I don't care if you don't want to write corporate emails yourself. I don't care if you can't draw well, I don't care if you can't write well, I don't care if you just really really want to talk to your favorite fictional character but don't want to RP with a real person because you have social anxiety or whatever
If you're still regularly using generative ai, chatgpt or midjourney or character.ai or literally whatever the fuck, im personally blaming you when my utility prices start going up.
Rooting for everyone working on themselves.