Shouta Aizawa Has Migraines And You Can Pry This Headcanon From My Cold Dead Hands. Hear Me Out There

another humans are space orcs/humans are space oddities who run a care centre for alien younglings

"Excuse me, caretaker Kim?"

"Yes Tarlak?"

"Can Mira spend a night cycle at my home?"

"Uhhh, your gonna have to ask her parents for that. Do you want me to ask them for you?"

"Are you not one of her parents?"

"No..? What gave you that idea?"

"Because she has called you 'mama' 3 times before. As have Fredric, Yasmine, and several other human children...except for Danny...he called you 'papa'."

"Oooh, right, right, uh I'm actually not anyone's parent."

"...then why do they call you that? It does not make sense."

"Well, as you know, humans can form connections with just about anyone and sometimes those connections resemble the ones we have with our family members. So when kids call me mom or sometimes dad even, it's because I remind them of that parent."

"Remind? But you look nothing like Mira's mom."

"Yeah, but I remind her of how she feels with her mom. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, that is understood. Thank you for explaining this to me *whistle chirp*"

"Yeah no problem. Wish I could whistle like that."

A few days later...

"Kim!"

"Oh, hey Max!"

"How did you and every other parent...become a thing?"

"I'm sorry what now???"

"Look, I know you guys have been pretty quiet about it but, come on. Having the kids call you mom or the equivalent of mom in public? Pretty obvious buddy."

"...is that what they've been calling me?"

"You didn't know? How did you not know?? See this is why you should have taken linguistics with me...wait does this mean your not dating every other parent?"

"Max, the fact that you think I have that much game is the most flattering thing anyone has ever thought of me."

went on a bit of a break but I’m baaaack I had a crazy weekend but like not in a good way 💀

But anyways check out this ART omg

Do I ship it? No. Am I betting money that Aizawa is five seconds away from adopting another traumatized birdie? Absolutely

He looks so done already tho lmao 😭😭

creds to artist! (If anyone recognizes the artist lmk bc I fucking love their style omg)

fun fact: this originally said soup. and if you follow me you would understand why I changed it. We cannot have soup x todoroki be a staple of my page. anyway

source

TINY MIC

"AND I oop energy"

Humans are Space Horrors: Stretching

Sarah was not a morning person, nor did any of the crew expect her to be. However the captain did expect her for mandatory physical training the fifth day of every Earth week, and this morning was no different. Sarah rubbed her eyes and took a sip from a can of poison she called an "energy drink". Loc'oa'mpar rolled Xeir six eyes. Xy didn't see how it could possibly energize her when it could kill Xir's planet's deadliest species in just a few drops, but when separated from the substance Sarah got grumpy. The captain jogged in, almost gracefully on his legs, already sweating from their morning run, jade green tank top soaked through.

"Alright, ladies gents and all things in between and beyond, who's ready for some PT?" Their enthusiasm was met with a groan from the group, who clearly were not ready for some PT at five in the morning.

"Bel, not that there's a sun to rise, but the sun isn't even up yet." Quanta piped up from the other side of the room, sitting on the floor with her back against the wall.

"Don't care, didn't ask, this isn't a democracy, lets do some fucking PTTTTTT." Sarah sighed and shook her head. The captain had too much energy this morning, as always. If they were going to start, she may as well start right. She set her hands on her hips and pushed as she arched her back, sighing contentedly at the series of satisfying pops that ran down the length of her spine. Standing back up a little bit breathless, rotating her torso to the side just in time to see the alien next to her go a pale grey and fall on the ground, causing her to stumble backwards in surprise. It pointed a tendril at her and it's eyes flashed, it's voice projecting into her head.

"You need a medic, I believe you just sustained a detrimental injury to your spinal cord." Sarah cocked her head to the side and set a hand on her chin, jerking it to one side and then the other in a motion that made even the Captain gag as it made a snapping motion that brought the room to a halt. The alien's eyes rolled back into it's sockets as their other alien crewmate slithered in, took a single look at the alien passed out on the ground, and flickered it's tongue at Sarah in annoyance.

"Do you feel the need to do this to every new crewmate we have? Your double joints in your neck are not funny. You could seriously hurt yourself."

"I haven't yet! Plus I stop any time I feel like it's straining."

"You're going to drive me to the depths of insanity."

(( inspired by @autistic-absol s prompt

Shouta: *exists*

Hizashi: this means nothing. I'm 16. These feelings will fade.

*fifteen years later*

Hizashi, sweating: any day now...

Humans are weird: Dogs

Alien: Why did you take me to here? Alien: You know I hate being outside. Human: How else would I get you to the greatest place on the planet? Alien: *About to ask question when sudden noise distracts them* Alien: *Reads sign on nearby post* Alien: What is a “Dog Park”? ----------------------------- Human: Unlike cats, dogs are man’s true best friend. Alien: And why is that? Human: Because they won’t brutally maim you if you pet them too long. -----------------------------

Alien: What does one do with their dog? Human: Play fetch mostly. Alien: What is fetch? Human: *Picks up ball and throws it* *Nearest dog sprints after it and brings it back* Alien: That’s it? Human: No; now comes the difficult part. Alien: Which is? Human: Trying to get the ball back. ---------------------------

Alien: Aren’t these creatures expensive to maintain? Human: Medical wise they are about the same as cats. Human: Entertainment wise they are much cheaper. Alien: How so? Human: *Picks up nearby stick and wobbles it around* *Golden retriever stops what it was doing and focuses on stick* *Tail begins wagging at turbo speed and they hunch down on two legs with their back legs up* Human: *Hands stick to alien friend* Now you try. Alien: Really? Alien: You think this will- Alien: *Notices dog now focusing entirely on him as he wobbles stick* Alien: Oh my gods…. Human: I know right? Alien: I have become their god now. ----------------------------

Alien: Do they have any weaknesses? Human: Don’t put a mirror in front of them. Alien: What happens if you do? *Pair turns as a dog begins loudly barking* *Pair see a dog barking aggressively at its own reflection* Human: Because of that. Alien: That doesn’t seem so- *Dog leaps at mirror and bonks its head* Human: See? Alien: Question withdrawn. -----------------------

Alien: May I try walking one of these dogs? Human: Are you sure? Human: You’ll need upper arm strength to restrain them if they get excited. Alien: *Looks down at tiny little corgi* Alien: I think I can handle them. *Chuckles* Human: Alright. *Hands leash over* Alien: *Begins walking dog around park* Alien: I don’t know what they were talking about. Alien: This is easy. *Random squirrel runs past corgi and Corgi chases after it* Alien: *Violently thrown to ground by sudden pull and dragged across the dog park* Human: *Watching his alien friend swear in his native language* I’d feel sorry over this, but I warned them so it’s okay to be funny. -------------------------

Alien: *Finally gets free of corgi leash and picks themselves off the ground* Alien: What…*Gasp* the….*double gasp* florp! Alien: How was that tiny creature so strong?! Human: The tiny ones are the most energetic. Human: The big ones are the giant babies of the species. Alien: How does that make any sense at all? Human: *Takes alien by the face and directs their gaze down at excited pitbull8 Human: Look at that smooshy face! Human: Nothing has to make sense when you look at that cute stupid smooshy face! -------------------------

*Dog comes up at starts nuzzling alien* Alien: Ah; you are an adorable creature. *picks up dog and cradles it like a baby* Alien: *Starts rubbing its belly* Human: *Notices and comes over* Human: I’m glad you’re starting to warm up to them. Alien: *Nods* They are enjoyable after a period. Human: Just as an FYI, that’s a Pug and when they’re on their back they can’t breathe. Alien: WHAT!? Alien: *Immediately puts dog down and it gasps several times* Alien: I didn’t….you mustn't think I would.. Human: Just wait a sec. *Alien watches pug take several more deep breaths before looking up at him and starts wagging tail again.* Alien: They are not very smart, are they? Human: We call that their “Derp” factor. ------------------------------

Human: Hey Greg. Human 2: Yo. Alien: What are you doing? Human 2: Playing “Hide and go seek” with my dog Burt. Alien: *Begins looking around* Where is this- *sees Burt standing behind bench poorly hid* Alien: I can see- Human 2: Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh. Human 2: Don’t make eye contact. Alien: Why not? Human 2: Because you need to wait five minutes searching the entire park before you find him; it makes him feel like a really good boi. Alien: But why not just- *Human 2 leans in close* Human 2: So help me if you look at him before those five minutes are up and make him sad I will hit you with my car. Alien: Wait what!? Alien: You can’t be serious! Human: *nods* Dog people take their pets happiness very seriously. Alien: But to hit someone with a car? Human: *Shrugs* I once shot a guy for throwing an empty soda can at my little bugger. Alien: You take your dog’s very…..seriously, I see. Human: Is there any other way?

Did I do this instead of my essay for college? Absolutely. First time doing voicework like this so please, gimme criticism so I can make any future ones better!

Present Mic: Have you ever had a little sister who was essentially legally kidnapped by the yakuza and used as a human weapon until she was rescued by some kids Shinsou: What?? No?? Present Mic, holding up Eri: WOULD YOU LIKE ONE?

some pieces i did for a cancelled zine! it’s been a while but i still like these, so i figured i should share them after all!