Awww! Mic! Poor Baby. He Got His Job Taken Away. Aizawa, Console Your Husband.

and it went down in history as the fattest bong rip of all time

Humans are space Chameleons

I'm back with another humans are space orcs idea.

So ya'll know about how stealth is a big thing on our planet, right? Predators use it to catch prey, prey use it to avoid predators, etc. etc. What if that's exclusively an earth thing?

Like, if death worlds were rare and the need for stealth was less needed or even non-existant it'd be pretty surprising to aliens to find out just how important stealth is and how good humans (and Earth animals in general) are at it.

Smaller humans can curl up into tight spaces to hide. Camouflage is something we're very good at with things like ghillie suits and camo facepaint to make ourselves near invisible.

We're pretty good at staying still and will even cover our mouths to make our breathing quieter. Sometimes we even sneak up on people without meaning to. We've gotten so good at hiding we can even hide in plain sight.

Hell, even a portion of our entertainment contains stealth, we have childrens games like hide and seek that make us better at it and there's even an entire genre of video game dedicated to it. Suffice to say stealth is something we're pretty ok at.

Now imagine a human is put onto an alien ship as a crewmate and as the aliens learn more about humanity they decide to play hide and seek to learn more about us.

They go around and find the other races pretty easily, but they can't find the human.

After 30 minutes they get s bit annoyed

After 1 hour they're a bit worried

After 3 hours they're panicking that they just lost their human friend and begin running around the ship screaming that they give up and begging the human to come out.

The human stands up from behind a pipe or something and ask why the crew couldn't find them. What proceeds is Aliens becoming utterly horrified at our ability to remain concealed so well for so long.

Long story short, they never play hide and seek again.

rage and violence

Why is the picture quality shit. Idk.

Thank you @yourlunarspice 💕💕💕

Big deaf energy

Thanks anon!!!!!

Ok so some bit ago I learned that why humans fingers and palms prune up in water is to get a better grip in water

What if aliens don’t have that funky little feature?

So imagine a human and their alien group are trapped in a little area and there’s a bunch of water and it’s rising (absolutely terrifying experience) and the aliens are trying to get a grip on the kinda rough wall and can’t but they look at the human and are shocked because they’re clinging to the wall like a spider

So ima say they get out safely and they update the human guide/manual

“Humans gain sticky hands in water”

Humans are Space Horrors: Stretching

Sarah was not a morning person, nor did any of the crew expect her to be. However the captain did expect her for mandatory physical training the fifth day of every Earth week, and this morning was no different. Sarah rubbed her eyes and took a sip from a can of poison she called an "energy drink". Loc'oa'mpar rolled Xeir six eyes. Xy didn't see how it could possibly energize her when it could kill Xir's planet's deadliest species in just a few drops, but when separated from the substance Sarah got grumpy. The captain jogged in, almost gracefully on his legs, already sweating from their morning run, jade green tank top soaked through.

"Alright, ladies gents and all things in between and beyond, who's ready for some PT?" Their enthusiasm was met with a groan from the group, who clearly were not ready for some PT at five in the morning.

"Bel, not that there's a sun to rise, but the sun isn't even up yet." Quanta piped up from the other side of the room, sitting on the floor with her back against the wall.

"Don't care, didn't ask, this isn't a democracy, lets do some fucking PTTTTTT." Sarah sighed and shook her head. The captain had too much energy this morning, as always. If they were going to start, she may as well start right. She set her hands on her hips and pushed as she arched her back, sighing contentedly at the series of satisfying pops that ran down the length of her spine. Standing back up a little bit breathless, rotating her torso to the side just in time to see the alien next to her go a pale grey and fall on the ground, causing her to stumble backwards in surprise. It pointed a tendril at her and it's eyes flashed, it's voice projecting into her head.

"You need a medic, I believe you just sustained a detrimental injury to your spinal cord." Sarah cocked her head to the side and set a hand on her chin, jerking it to one side and then the other in a motion that made even the Captain gag as it made a snapping motion that brought the room to a halt. The alien's eyes rolled back into it's sockets as their other alien crewmate slithered in, took a single look at the alien passed out on the ground, and flickered it's tongue at Sarah in annoyance.

"Do you feel the need to do this to every new crewmate we have? Your double joints in your neck are not funny. You could seriously hurt yourself."

"I haven't yet! Plus I stop any time I feel like it's straining."

"You're going to drive me to the depths of insanity."

(( inspired by @autistic-absol s prompt

Are you trying to kill your mother? Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse (2023)

i managed to doodle some erasermic sorta in time for shou’s birthday

i tried okay

Muted

How many times has this joke been done before? Probably at least twice. Maybe even three times.