Oops It’s Erasermic!

vampire who crochets or knits and never drops a stitch bc vampires are obsessed with counting, and uses their counting powers to preserve pieces of their soul just in case immortality doesn’t work out since being stuck on earth in a bunch of handmade items seems a lot better than being in hell or whatever else

They deserve a vacation,..

weird pre-relationship habits

Kim and Max and the adventures of running an alien child care centre

"Human Max I'd like you to meet Ezshi, they will be joining you soon in the youngling centre."

"Oh hey there buddy, nice to meet you!"

"Now, what do we say Ezshi?"

*croc sounding hissing and snarling*

"Ezshi! You apologize right this instant!!"

"...oh boy"

days later~

"I don't know what to do! The kid won't stop hissing at me everytime they see me! As soon as they spot me they flare up and won't stop hissing at me, they almost bit me when I tried giving them their chocolate milk!! I don't know how I'll survive this year Kim."

"That's rough buddy," she gives sympathy pats to him. "but why don't you try my method? Y'know, the one I used with my siblings and cousins."

"Kim if I did that I would get fired."

"Yes, in an earth school you would without question buuut...here?"

"...here I wouldn't! Kim you genius!"

later....

"Ah, human Kim, I am here to pick up Ezshi early today. May you point me to them?"

"Yeah sure, right over there with Max." she points to a large crowd of children and parents.

"Thank you Human Kim."

"Of course....maybe I should've stalled them for a bit...shoot."

"Ezshi! Where are you? Ah, there you-- oh my."

In the middle of the crowd is Ezshi and Max both hissing and snarling at each other. The young reptilian slowly advancing towards the human, eyes slitted.

"EZSHI! Youngling you will stop this at--!"

"Wait Mx. Ezshi's Bubba! Maxie is okay, look look!"

"Youngling Human please release your tiny hands off me, I must save your 'Maxee'...huh."

Max advances as well but more predatory like, circling around the youngling until their back hits a table. Jumping onto it thinking it'll make them look more intimidating, Ezshi hisses down at the lowly human. No one interferes, especially the other reptilian and predator like species.

"Okay now here it comes Max, remember not too much spit and be aggressive!"

Back straight, toes pointed, chin up, the young man closes the gap between them with a headbutt while releasing a roar. Silence. Until finally, with eyes dilated, Ezshi chirps and bows their little head.

"Aw, its okay buddy. Now go get your stuff, your Bubba is here."

"Thank you caretaker Maxee! Lets do that again!"

"Human Max how did you know how to assert dominance among my people? Was it Tarlak's family? Tigihalaxes and Repilixes do share similar customs..." they muse.

"Oh it was Kim."

"Yep!"

"And how, may I ask, do you know how to assert dominance among my people Human Kim?"

"My siblings and cousins."

"....you were taught by your human kin?"

"Some of them started to roar and hiss while we goofed around and to make sure they still listened to me while we did this I would 'assert dominance' by doing exactly what Max did."

"I thought humans did not have displays of dominance and that everyone is to be treated equally, like a herd."

"Yes thats right."

"But you just said..."

"Oh that was just us playing around. We still do it every now and then, just over the holidays my little sister and me did the equivalent of the gorlazitics display of dominance."

"For fun??? And not to be the new leader? No one was killed?"

"Save for our mother's opinion of us, no."

"Are you sure you two are herbivores?"

"The proper term is vegetarian, which is what I am, Kim is a pescatarian."

"May the fish forgive me for finding them so delicious in sushi form."

I think what most HASO and other media gets wrong is depicting humans as fearless because we come from such a harsh world.

Like humans grow up on a world where *anything* can kill you. Bugs. Mold. Unclear water. A sneeze. The sun. The rain. Plants. Mushrooms. Large predators. Large herbivores. Small predators. A cat scratch. The list goes on and on.

This kind of environment doesn't make people less afraid. Okay it might if they're sufficiently desensitized, and most people will do okay in settings they're familiar with, but in a new situation? Everything is a threat.

Humans adapting to spaceships and/or alien planets would not be confident and gung-ho. They would be cautious, curious, and exploratory. They would freak the fuck out at every new alien bug. They would be very hesitant to engage with any animal. They would freak out every other alien on the crew because the humans keep staring at them, watching them to make sure that none of the aliens are going to attack them.

And when a solo human with an alien crew meets another human, also the only human on their crew?

They are not best friends. Their first thought is, "is this human going to kill me?" Because only a murderer or a crazy person would go into space without another human to back them up.

Some art of @magicspace114 's character Toby! (or Totobyc Maechislovic III if you ask him!) I have been OBSESSED with this story for a while now, and got inspired! (I know he's supposed to have horns, but I forgot to draw them until after I rendered the one on the left, and then when I went back to add them in I REALLY didn't like the way they looked, nothing I did fixed it unfortunately, so I've decided to just leave him like this lol sorry)

hey guys #doomed

anyway listen to Wot by Captain Sensible.

Thank you to the wonderous @corndog-patrol for providing us with the legend known as sprinkles in their villan mic AU which I couldn’t get enough of and drew at least 1 every day for a week to keep me drawing! (And probably draw more in the future I love them too much.)

I feel like any aliens that were prey at some point in evolution would have an odd fear of humans. Mostly cause they look like predators, act a bit like predators, and ARE predators. One perfect example is when we're focused on something like a mosquito that's been bugging us for a long time and we are just done.

Alien: "What. What..?"

Human: *HUNTING down a mosquito it saw*

Alien: ".... yeah I am really uncomfortable...."

Human: *quiet footsteps, pupils dialated, intense focus,*

Alien: *WAR FLASHBACKS*

Human: "Found you." *absolutely desimates the mosquito, squashing it into a million pieces as it's guts and various body parts liquidize into blood of the bloodthirsty, now stained on the palm of the human. A living being now reduced to a useless corpse as the human wipes the remains on their pants*

Alien: "I feel like I've just gained trauma."