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"Why are you putting this on me?" Shang Qinghua whined, face twisting attractively. Wow, Shen Qingqiu did not realize he looked that pretty from the outside. "I'm not responsible for every single thing that happens, okay!"

Shen Qingqiu glared at him before turning around and flouncing back into Shang Qinghua's bedchambers to try and figure out how to put his hair up. His friend's hair was pretty similar to Binghe's, but he had never had to do it for himself before. Shang Qinghua followed him, idly playing with his favorite fan.

A blue screen flickered in front of him as soon as they both stepped inside.

[Scenario started: Shizun Swap! Hosts have switched bodies and they must find a way to switch back or risk being stuck like this forever!]

"What."

[Good luck, Host!]

No amount of threats brought the shitty thing back. Shen Qingqiu didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Why did the Systems love to torment them like this?

"Cucumber-bro!" Shang Qinghua whispered fiercely, pounding on the door. "Bro, open up!"

He smiled nervously at an An Ding disciple peering at him from behind a stack of scrolls. Upon seeing the disciple's eyes widen, he quickly blanked his face, though he continued to sweat nervously.

Right, he wasn't allowed to do anything but stare menacingly or smirk right now, while in this body.

Finally, the door opened a crack and a hand reached out to grab him by the robes, pulling him inside. Shang Qinghua quickly smoothed out his now-crumpled green robes and looked up, coming face to face with... himself.

"Shang Qinghua. What the fuck did you do?" Shen Qingqiu asked, hazel eyes flashing.

“Still Into You” is so precanon SQH/SY are you KIDDING ME??? Like animatic imagine the first of the song being abt them getting together in the real world and then like instrumental break is them each getting got by (yogurt and noodles respectively, SQH noticed SY had started choking and freaked spilled the Ramen Noodles of Doom) and then like living their lives unaware of each other (but missing each other) then when we get to the Conference and SY NOTICES and we get the “Not a day goes by where I’m not into you!” And then hug and KISS AND DO YOU NOT SEE THE VISAGE

school shootings are truly terrifying. when there was an active shooter at the school next to ours a couple of months ago, we were all so scared. we had a lockdown and we turned off the lights and sat in complete silence, flinching at the slightest noises. we were all wondering “is this it? is this where i die?” i was thinking that i didn’t tell my parents that i loved them enough. my teacher, who normally hates us, was trying to comfort us and promised that he would die protecting us if that what it took for all of us to make it out alive. i just thought “that’s not what i want, why can’t these just stop?” #schoolshootings #stopschoolshootings https://www.instagram.com/p/BvVXaoFn_eU/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1n9oa6aj26ppd

Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster, on account that a bunch of monsters can turn you into a monster by biting you. Vampires, werewolves, zombies. those are the big ones, there are others

cumplane past relationships

okay but why is cumplane knowing each other in their past lives so cute, like genuinely? maybe its the usual case of "cucumber finds out that airplane is struggling to afford rent and food and so offers financial support so he can get his story back on track" or maybe its one of those "they don't even know the other's online pen and they're acting as completely normally non-NEET friends" or even "they've been friends from the start and cucumber rags on airplane's writing but reads it anyway before he posts just so he can be the first to comment his criticism" or some shit. I dunno.

like if Fanon (I think it's Fanon) of sqh using cucumber bro's comments as a model for his creation of mobei-jun and falling in love with that or sqq falling in love with binghe because he's a more beefed-up reflection of sqh, LIKE HELLO?

I sometimes imagine a world in which they knew each other a little better and were just on the precipice of something more and then. died. and then sqh grows up in this world and mobei-jun reminds him so strongly of a-yuan and... then his villain becomes weird??? wtf?? and more like his old crush from his old world???? and then somehow they meet each other BEFORE lbh goes into the abyss

and theres this whole developing story where they figure it out and pick right back where they left off after a bit of awkwardness, and finally manage to get over that hill from their past life and the peak lords are like "what" because this hsit just got weirder

A Star Wars time travel full of misunderstandings starring Obi-Wan and his "harem" of clones

A Star Wars time travel fic in which Obi-Wan and a group of clones (including Cody of course!) land in the past. Decades in the past.

Ignoring all the nitty gritty details, Obi-Wan and the clones decide to keep silent on the whole time traveling aspect. So, how to explain the clones?

What ends up being the story - a combination of Obi-Wan's creative storytelling and the Mandalorians misunderstanding coupled with observations leading to the wrong conclusions - is this:

Obi-Wan had a Mandalorian lover. Obi-Wan is basically useless by himself, not remembering to take care of himself due to all sorts of past trauma and lack of self worth. Obi-Wan also loves kids.

His lover - some person of the Fett clan (which has split into multiple factions so no Fett can actually confirm or deny things) judging by the clones' appearances - decided to create clones of himself to raise as kids/backups in case he perished so that Obi-Wan would never be left alone. Plus Obi-Wan is at high risk of killed being a Jedi married to a Mandalorian, so he's excluded from being welcomed by either groups. The lover also refused to acknowledge the clones as his children. The clones have rapid-aging chips in them to make them adults.

Conclusion: the lover actually meant for the clones to be his replacement (but Obi-Wan is in denial of that particular fact). This is also the time of the Mandalorian Civil War and Clan Wars so the risk of death is pretty high and unfortunately the lover's fears of perishing... came true.

Obi-Wan now has a harem of clones serving at his beck and call. The leader of Obi-Wan's harem is called Cody, but they all pretend to be a small military group because Obi-Wan is still grieving for his fallen lover. (Obi-Wan is actually grieving for all the friends that no longer exist).

-

Obi-Wan: …why are people out there saying that I was future!Jango’s lover

Cody: Sip your tea Sir. You must have misheard before your morning cup of tea.

-

People misunderstand Obi-Wan to be from some rich, elite perhaps runaway Prince type of background.

Trained force sensitive people are rich people who can afford (and have the influence to be able) to hire Jedi/force sensitive trainers. They also have more reasons to be against giving up their children to the Jedi Temple such as arranged marriages and heirship.

Obi-Wan is also used to some luxuries that only rich people (or Jedi’s) are used to. Plus his mannerism and expansive knowledge points to being a highly educated elite. Being an elite would also explain a lot of gaps of knowledge he has about the present since only elites can ignore important and groundbreaking events like famines (aka the era Obi-Wan has time traveled to.)

Meanwhile Obi’s lover must be of a lower status than Obi-Wan for his clones to automatically defer and serve Obi-Wan like it's normal. (Normal people don't think of doing something so insane as creating clones of themselves in what is basically slavery otherwise.) Plus no one knows who he is or called him out for having a (almost) Jedi for a lover so evidently he is more of a common Mando background.

-

Insert scene of Obi-Wan prancing around in 7 layers of silk and a few clones chasing him, trying to add more layers (and amour) onto Obi-Wan.

The casual Mandalorian on the side of the road stop to stare at the gorgeous sight. With Obi-Wan not in amour and in flowing silk, he looks more like he belonged in a bedroom getting ready for bed than being out in public.

It's indecent, they think. No wonder he was able to seduce a Mando and overcome the whole *waves hands* Mando dislike for Jedi thanks to his looks.

👀👀👀👀

delightful *licks fingers*

open your arms and say you're home, look up to the vast endless sky and think no more.

Because the sky isn't endless, it has an end. Its vast, but not as vast as the outside. The outside? What is the outside? What is there outside?

Think no more, don't. Open your arms and embrace the wind,

And let yourself crumble to dust."

Aka Shen Yuan and Shang Qinghua are going home(home?) and they sit in a field together holding hands as they both slowly turn to dust, and shang qinghua asks "hey, bro, will you still be there?" And shen yuan smiles "yes. Promise me that you will, too, you hack author."

Shang qinghua finds out Shen yuan is already dead hahahaahhesowlsx

He then wakes up to sy sleepin next to him the end ok bye

Svsss but it’s a Road to El Dorado style AU where cumplane accidentally convinces everyone that they’re gods because they Know Things™️ and have to tread the fine line between being killed/imprisoned for tricking the sect and being thrown back to the modern world by the system for revealing too much

A section of the Berlin Wall, raised in 1961 and knocked down in 1989. Taken on July 7, 2018. (at Newseum) https://www.instagram.com/p/BoZDHvUHlzR/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=9m07siqle0rc

oooh and it proves to himself that it wasn't all just a dream or a figment of his imagination because he didn't even know how to do calligraphy or play a ancient chinese instrument in his last life, so obviously, he couldn't have possibly just made up so many years with his friends and family and binghe--

sometimes he can close his eyes while he plays and he's suddenly in his bamboo house, with binghe nearby, perhaps dusting the shelves for a millionth time as an excuse to be near his husband, and he's back home but--

he's broken out of it by applause.

he opens his eyes. his old (new, he had had such a thin face in this body) poker face slips into place as his eyes dull.

--oh. he's still here.

I love Bingge/Shen Yuan so much but I long for more AUs where Shen Yuan wakes up like the pevensies falling out of a wardrobe., and his Bingmei finds him anyway...

Shen Yuan de-transmigrates, wakes up sputtering for breath on his apartment floor, picks himself up, and tries to pretend he hasn't just lived over a decade as the main love interest in a trashy danmei series.

Swears off web novels and forums for life. He pleads with his parents for a Guqin after having shown zero interest in any constructive hobby in his life before, they're shocked he can actually play it? Like, very well? He joins a society, making waves as a scholar of traditional Chinese arts seemingly coming from out of nowhere?

Somehow he's much calmer going out in public than before. Doesn't feel his chest closing up so much... obviously it was his asthma.... (Not that he had social anxiety before, but if he did, he kind of stopped worrying in that... Weird dream? Because nobody seemed real at first. Not that they were real...) Anyway, if he just does what Shen Qingqiu would do, he always seems competent. Even if he's scrawny, dumb Shen Yuan.

He's out playing some day when he sees... someone... watching him, slightly scruffy streetwear, there one moment gone the next. He misses Binghe so bad, he's been ignoring it this whole time. And that guy - but, he needs to not be ridiculous. Stop pining for a fictional character Shen Yuan! You're better than this,!

A week later there's a knock on his door, he opens it to this short, scruffy looking guy who immediately says "Cucumber bro? Is that you?" He panics and nearly shut the door.

Someone gets their hand in the door first and pries it open.

"Shizun? That is you right? Running away again?"