DEATH LOOKS GOOD ON YOU.
It was the summer of 2006 when you found Jules Hawkins by the lake.
Technically, not you. The police did. You read the newspaper. But it didn't look like Jules Hawkins.
After all, how could it? Jules Hawkins was a god. And as you know, gods like Jules are unbreakable. If you knew anyone death couldn't touch, it was Jules.
And yet, somehow it felt like you had never seen Jules look more like them than they did, that day, dead by the lake. Plump cherry lips, now parched and blue, knees purple and bruised, golden hair sticking to their forehead, exquisite clothes matted and muddied, skin, ghostly pale.
Even in death, even as Jules became a child of soil and dirt and ruin, Jules managed to look like art. How could this creature of beauty be anyone else but Jules Hawkins?
SUMMARY.
The life, the death, the recounting of Jules Hawkins. The life, the death, the rebirth of their murderer.
A string of murders follow the passing of Jules Hawkins and in the desperation of avoiding being tangled in the web of this cold blooded murderer, you end up right in the thick of it when you find out the killer may have set their eyes on you next.
Of course, you ended up in the killer's radar. You had always been a child of misfortune, after all.
FEATURES.
• Customise your mc. Choose your appearance. Play as male, female, non-binary or trans; straight, gay or bisexual etc.
• Choose your major; psychology, criminology, forensic sciences or computer science.
• Play as an emotionally scarred individual. Escape the hell you call your mind, alone or with the help of allies. Or succumb to the voices.
• Find your predator before your predator finds you. Or keep running. How far will you run? Do you even want to run?
• Befriend, antagonize, manipulate or romance fellow residents of Ravenwoods.
• The lake calls out to you. Will you listen?
ROMANTIC OPTIONS.
JULIET/JULIAN "JULES" HAWKINS. [he/him or she/her]
You knew Jules in the way you wish you never did. Jules is embedded into your very bones. Jules is a part of you. You wish you could escape them.
Jules may be no more for the world but they are alive and breathing in your haywire brain and they are not very kind. Not that they ever were. But the Jules that haunts you, plagues you like a disease is ruthless with their words in a way the old Jules could never be. Not to you.
Description : Pale skin. Rosy tint to cheeks. High cheekbones. f!Long wheatish blonde curly hair. m!curly wheatish blonde hair in a mod cut. Almond shaped brown eyes. Arched eyebrows. Long, thick lashes. Cupid's bow, plump lips. f!willowy frame. 5'11. m!broad back, narrow waist, long legs. 6'2.
CHOI WARREN. [he/him]
There are few you consider friend and Warren is one of them, alongside Sujin. He is revolution in a glass jar. A little rough around the edges, with bullet holes in his paper heart. Lately, the air becomes laced with awkwardness when its just the two of you around. You wish you weren't fairly perceptive. Perhaps that could have made you oblivious to the way Warren's adams apple bobs and his throat tightens when you are around, the way his fists clench when his tongue slips or the way he glances at you thinking you didn't notice.
Description : Sharp jaw. Medium complexion. Monolid chocolate brown eyes. Straight eyebrows. Thin pinkish lips. 5'10. Athletic figure. Short dyed dark red hair.
JESSICA HAWKINS. [she/her]
Jules' twin. You never bothered to acquaint yourself with her. She had always seemed too saintly and your mother had taught you well to stay away from that kind. Those who hide their tainted souls behind rosemary lies, platinum smiles and bright eyes stitched from sunshine. Beware of them, your mother had told you. But is that what she truly is doing? Spinning honeyed tales from saccharine lips?
You would never know. Unless you choose to. If it helps, Jules lips always quirked upwards and the crease in their brows mellowed whenever her name rolled off their tongue.
Description : Kind almond shaped brown eyes. Long, thick lashes. Wide cherry lips. Arched eyebrows. High cheekbones. Straight blonde hair, reaching her back. Pale skin. Willowy frame. 5'10.
DYLAN JEANE. [he/him]
Jules' boyfriend, Dylan. Well, ex boyfriend now. He seems to harbour a deep dislike for you. No matter how hard he denies it— the slight tensing of the muscles in his jaw always give it away.
You had always been curious about him. Jules and him were an odd pair. How could Dylan be what Jules desired? They were polar opposites. Jules was tidal waves and traditional typhoons. He is ruddy sunsets and roseate dawns. He is habit, he is routine, he is rigid, he is never changing. A sad strange kind of tragedy. Jules was anything but that. Jules was everything at once. Jules was never the same. Jules was uneven. Jules was hurricanes and tsunamis.
There is a natural downwards turn to his lips, his shoulders always a little hunched as if the burdens of life have dripped down from the ceiling and chosen to settle like dust upon his shoulders. You wonder what weighs him down so terribly. He talks as if every breath he takes from his lungs rattles him to the core. Perhaps it does. He seems to have taken Jules' death as hard as you, if not worse.
Description : Short slicked back midnight black hair. Heavy lidded hazel eyes. Slender built. Wears round glasses occassionally. Angular face. Sharp lips. Upwards eyebrows. Fair skin. 6'1.
AIDEN HAMILTON. [he/him]
The second child of the sleazy mayor. Boy of many faces. You don't trust him one ounce. For good reasons. It irks you to watch his eyes glimmer as if you are a specimen that intrigues him. You don't trust the myriad of unhealthy secrets he hides behind his charming gaze, the sly smile that tugs off the corner of his lips or the disarming lilt of voice as his salty tongue rolls off silken threads of honeysuckle lies frictionlessly. It comes to him as naturally as breathing. The impurity of his father's gold taints him, it runs in his veins and he embraces it willfully.
He is hiding skeletons in his closets and everybody knows that. What it is however, is a different story.
Will he let you in on a secret?
Description : Unruly brown wavy hair, in a middle part. Luscious lips, heavy lower lip. S-shaped eyebrows, with a small scar on the right one. Sea green hooded eyes. Tanned complexion. V-shaped jaw. Toned build. 6'4.
HEATHER HAMILTON. [she/her]
Eldest child of the mayor. You are not particularly friends but she is not a bad company to have around either. You like her. You have met in passing and she always has a quick smile reserved for you. You know she is a dreamer with a pomegranate heart. She has also somehow inherited her mother's love of parties. Hers tend to be a little more wild and carefree, though. Just like her.
Uncharacteristically, she is also fond of painting. Will you be her muse?
Description : Straight brown hair in a bob cut. Sea green hooded eyes. Heart shaped lips. Soft arch eyebrows. Skinny frame. Tanned complexion. Dimples on both cheeks. 5'10.
MIA MORGAN. [she/her]
Mia Morgan is the kind of girl who will rip your heart out, eat it raw and call it love. With midnight eyes of catlike grace that could rival any godforsaken abyss and lips richer and darker than the blood running in your veins, she's the kind of girl that would skin you alive and chew on your fickle heart but then kiss your eyelids and tell you 'good night, baby' and you would like a lovesick dog spiral back to her, yearning for more.
Why? Because you are a fool? No. Because she was Mia Morgan and Mia Morgan was born for seduction and playing with the strings of childish hearts. A holy ruination. Destruction in its most, enchanting, enrapturing form.
Will you let her destroy you?
Description : Wispy bangs, short hush cut, black hair. Dark cat eyes. Beauty mark on upper lip. Crimson pouty lips. Fair complexion. Curvaceous figure. 5'6.
OTHER NOTABLE CHARACTERS.
KIM SUJIN. [she/her]
She considers you a close friend, sharing every secret with you.
Description : Bronze skin, wide set brown eyes with gold flecks, button nose, freckles, curtain bangs, medium length chestnut brown hair. 5'3.
ARTHUR MORRIS. [he/him]
Aiden's friend. He's an asshole.
Description : Mahogany complexion, hollowed cheeks, has a stubble, ebony eyes, buzzcut, brawny. 6'1.
PARIS HILL. [he/him]
Local heartthrob. He looks handsome till he opens his mouth.
Description : Sunkissed complexion, wide lips, honey brown eyes, blonde hair in a fringe. Buff arms and broad back. Has an unhealthy obsession with shades. 5'10.
AUNT AUBURN MACKENZIE. [she/her]
She loves you dearly. There is nothing she wouldn't do for you.
Description : Brown hair, generally tied in a loose bun. Wrinkles near eyes and smiling lines around her mouth. Thin lips. Stout and a little hunched frame. Sickly pale complexion. 5'1.
MOTHER. [she/her]
A woman with a twisted understanding of love. You haven't seen her in years and while you may have forgotten her face, her voice still rings crystal clear in your mind, like an old cassette on repeat.
FATHER. [he/him]
A man you knew but never quite understood. It is his face that stares back at you everytime you look in the mirror.
MAYOR JOHN HAMILTON. [he/him]
The mayor of Ravenwoods. It would serve you well to have him as an ally. Having strong connections has always proved to be useful.
Description : Beige skin. Hooked nose. Bushy brows. Short hair, close cropped. Smooth blonde hair. Plump frame. 5'8.
MEERA CHAUHAN HAMILTON. [she/her]
Wife of the mayor. She may be a little snobby but she means well. Most of the times. After all, who isn't a little selfish?
Description : Tanned complexion. Almond brown gold eyes. Brown hair wavy reaching her mid back. Slender frame. 5'10.
LAWRENCE HAWKINS. [he/him]
Father of the Hawkins siblings. You would rather not get involved with him.
Description : Pale skin. Blonde slicked back hair. Blue eyes. High cheek bones. Sharp jaw. Wears frameless rectangular glasses. 5'11.
AURORA HAWKINS. [she/her]
Mother of the Hawkins siblings. You would rather not get involved with her.
Description : Blonde hair, generally tied in a tight bun. Pale skin. Brown eyes. 5'9.
OFFICER RYAN DOUGLAS. [he/him]
He's a good man. He tries his best.
Description : Rosy complexion. Dark brown eyes. Short brown hair. Average build. 5'8.
LINKS.
DEMO. (12/24 OR SOONER!)
COG FORUM. (12/24 OR SOONER!)
EXCLUSIVE CONTENT. (TBD!)
> Rated 18+ for mature themes such as (spoilers ahead!) explicit language, sexual themes, murder, elitism, child abuse, domestic violence, insomnia, toxic relationships, manipulation, homophobia, transphobia, death, childhood trauma, mild nudity, hallucinations.
Reblogs are appreciated! Thank you for your interest! <3
first hug in 10 years
As someone recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, one thing that’s been helping me grapple with the intense shame I have over all my “wasted potential” is accepting that potential doesn’t exist and never did.
This sounds so harsh, but please bare with me.
I procrastinated a lot growing up. I still procrastinate today, but less so. And yet, I got good grades. I could write an A+ paper that “knocked [my professor]’s socks off” in the hour before class and print it with sweat running down my face.
I was so used to hearing from teachers and family that if I just didn’t procrastinate and worked all the time, I could do anything! I had all this potential I wasn’t living up to!
And that’s true, as far as it goes, but that’s like saying if Usain Bolt just kept going he could be the fastest marathon runner in the world. Why does he stop at the end of the race??
If ANYONE could make their top speed/most productive setting the one they used all the time, anyone could do anything. But you can’t. Your top speed is not a speed you’re able to sustain.
Now, I’ve found that I do need to work on not procrastinating. Not because the product is better, even, but because it’s better for my mental health and physical health to not have a full, sweating, panicked breakdown over every task even if the task itself turns out excellently. It’s a shitty way to live! You feel bad ALL the time! And I don’t deserve to live like that anymore.
So all of this to say, I’m not wasting a ton of potential. I don’t have an ocean of productivity and accomplishments inside of me that I could easily, effortlessly access if I just sat down 8 hours a day and worked. There’s no fucking way. That’s not real. It’s an illusion. It’s fine not to live up to an illusion.
And if you have ADHD, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: you do not have limitless potential confounded by your laziness. You have the good potential of a good person, and you can access it with practice and work, but do not accept the story that you are choosing not to be all that you are or can be. You are just a human person.
My friend tries to impress girls by drawing realistic pictures of a Ford F-150.
He’s ….a pickup artist.
Me, a neurodivergent person in therapy: *makes a metaphor or small joke/reference that I just gloss over*
Therapist: *genuine laughter because she found what i said really funny*
Me: *waiting and nervously laughing because i often forget that people think a lot of neurodivergent people's jokes are the epitome of comedy despite them half the time just being observations or metaphors to things*
Pair: Ushijima Wakatoshi x fm!reader
Genre: angst, suggestive, hurt/comfort
Content: Divorce, arranged marriage, very suggestive
Song: Love in Portofino by Andrea Bocelli
Word Count: 3k
Summary: You and Ushi’s arranged marriage is reaching its end. You two only agreed to be married for 3 years only to follow each other’s families’ wishes. However, it seems none of you wants to bring it up at all, and bring up possible feelings.
A/N: This honestly took awhile to finish. I managed to finish this because of the song that I find romantic and relaxing to listen to. Do any of you listen to Andrea Bocelli? I just have to say, I love the songs. In fact, I’m listening to his songs now, as I write this author’s note.
I give you this ring as a sign of my love. With all that I have, I am honored to call you my husband from this moment until forever.
Those were the words you said to your husband, Ushijima Wakatoshi, during your wedding day. Those were the empty words you said to your husband.
Empty words for a wedding that has no love in it.
Though…a marriage that was bound by empty vows is finally coming to an end. However, a part of you does not want it to end.
Keep reading
Hopefully the treats will still be on their tree by Christmas.
Do you have any favourite ifs at the moment, or any you’re excited for?
helloooo <3 as a matter of fact, i do have a couple of those!
infamous @infamous-if (as we all know) because amy is such a wonderful writer, she makes me FEEL feel (yes, i shed tears reading chapter two). the characters feel so real. always a pleasure to make edits for this if! also looking forward to @bodydoublegame.
anything mila writes, truly. i always have a hard time picking an ro because they all are amazing in their own way. also not a big sports fan but i love her stories so much i'm actually super excited for her latest if @beyondthegame. check out my fave: golden!! @milaswriting, and don't forget before dusk sets in @celestialdusks.
the exile @exilethegame i'm obsessed, i've read this one so many times!!!!! the plot is so so so good, you just have to see for yourself. the relationships between the characters (the family dynamics most of all???)
attollo @attollogame the worldbuilding, the writing, the characters??? has the best villains imo, the complexity, wow 10/10
merry crisis @merrycrisis-if this one will also have you drowning in your feelings <3
when twilight strikes @evertidings i feel like i keep repeating myself (and i am) but once again the writing? the characters? you won't be able to stop once you start reading! you're welcome <3
apartment 502 has to be my most anticipated if (@apt502-if) i saw new girl, i clicked so fast! and you should too if you haven't already <3 the demo is not out and i already have 3 mcs, that's how excited i am!!!
book two of the golden rose @anathemafiction i know i don't talk about it enough (or at all) on here but check out the first book, i can't recommend it enough!!
@disenchantedif can't wait to read from the beginning with the next update, i feel like it has the potential to become another favorite of mine + i've heard so many good things about it from a couple people with great taste!
i feel like i'm forgetting so many but these will have to do for now <3 there are other projects i'm following but i haven't had time to check out the demos so i might reblog this post in the future to update the list. <3