BSD Characters As Iconic Kardashian Moments:

"I am always jealous. I am ALWAYS jealous. No matter how much I have. I am always wanting more. I can't be filled. I can't be enough. I can't get everything. I want more. I want more. And I have so much love, blessings, accomplishments, money, talent----more than I deserve for free and I still chase for more. I still scoff at other's happiness. I still wish for their failures. I pray for their downfall. I want to see them get beautifully destroyed, just because I don't want to see them succeed. I still want what they have even if in reality, I don't need it, I want it so they can't have it. I am so petty, so mean, so ill. No wonder no one likes me. I am filled with so much hate and despair and spite that I could never ever have enough"

~one of my unfinished novels. <3

*Kunikida calls Atsushi*

Atsushi: hello? Kunikida-san....what's up?

Kunikida: do you know where Dazai is? He left before doing any paperwork

Atsushi, *staring at Dazai and Kyouka eating shaved ice on the dining table*: no? Do I?

Kunikida *sighs*: are you asking me or answering the question?

Atsushi: I am sure.. he'll show up....one day

Kunikida: eh...fine. If you see him tell him to get his ass back to the office

*phone cuts*

Atsushi: Dazai-san! Look! I had to lie to Kunikida-san because of YOU

Dazai: awww you are such a nice person Atsushi!

Atsushi *rolling his eyes*: how did you even get my keys? The door was locked? Did you give him, Kyouka-chan?

Kyouka: *shakes her head*

Dazai: oh, I have a copy of your keys 😄

Atsushi: what.😨

Dazai: what?

Atsushi: HOW DID YOU GET MY KEYS?

Dazai: I made a copy of them before you got this apartment 😄

Atsushi: 😐😐😐😐

Dazai: ah don't worry, I have the keys of all the people I care about. Here's Chuuya's, I kept them with me all these years....

Atsushi: HOW WILL I NOT WORRY AFTER KNOWING THAT----

Looks like a cinnamon roll, is actually a cinnamon roll: Richard Papen

Looks like they could kill you, is actually a cinnamon roll: Francis Abernathy

Looks like a cinnamon roll, could actually kill you: Charles Macaulay

Looks like they could kill you, could actually kill you: Henry Winter

Could kill you by feeding you too many cinnamon rolls: Camilla Macaulay

Does not deserve cinnamon rolls, will actually get killed: Bunny Concoran

The summary of TSH:

Richard : Anyone d-

Camilla: Depressed?

Francis: Drained?

Charles : Dumb?

Henry: Disliked?

Richard : -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...?

Ps: I still cannot believe it all happened in one academic year

Henry: I have a plan!

Richard: you always have a plan, bless you.

Francis: does this plan involve murder in any way?

Henry:......I no longer have a plan.

ENTP: you know I am getting bored, wanna rob banks or something?

INFJ: that is your first response to getting bored?

ESTP: it's not like we haven't done it before.

INFP: you have robbed banks before?

ESTJ: I stopped them before they could. Don't know what they will do if I am not there.

INTP: *whispers* have some real fun for ounce

ENTP: INTJ what do you think about robbing a bank?

ISFJ: obviously, he doesn't think it's a good thing!

INTJ: not really, in this money hungry capitalistic world, robbing a bank doesn't feel like a bad idea. Maybe we can start a revolt.

ESTP, ENTP: yeah rebellion!

INTP: I don't know. I am bored too but a rebellion will be too much work and people

INFP: I don't think......you know what fuck yeah!

ISFJ: you kids are really childish

ESTJ: that's why I am their babysitter.

People thinking Atsushi is just a cute lil soft boy are so WRONG.

Atsushi is one of the best executed C-PTSD protagonists who are not just "kind" because they are the MC.

Atsushi is sassy, he is mean and says things like they are, even to his own mentor Dazai, he is not afraid of saying bad things. He doesn't hold back on his words. And he can be quite quick when it comes to using sass ("are you a landmower?" "Why are you dressed like a half-finished mummy, Dazai-san" "Akutagawa, fancy a cup of tea?" "That's why Dazai-san left you")

He's not just nice. He thinks he should be nice and kind because that's what someone like him should be like. Atsushi has such a low self esteem that he NEEDS to show kindness to everyone because he thinks just like he got a second chance at life, everyone else deserves it too.

That's why he saved Kyouka and Lucy, he recognised that want for bettering themselves in them. He wanted them to get a second chance like he did. Because to him, people are not good or bad, but they have the ability to change no matter how far they have gone.

This is why Atsushi is the only one who can recognise and understand Dazai's true personality. Whenever Dazai says something self depreciating Atsushi ALWAYS corrects him. In Dead Apple when Dazai is visiting Oda's grave, Atsushi understands whoever this person was, they were very dear to Dazai. At the end of Dead Apple when Dazai says he thinks he's not a good person, Atsushi tells him he has never thought of Dazai not being a good person. Atsushi knows Dazai was in the Port Mafia, but he STILL confirms he sees Dazai as a good person regardless of his past. Because Atsushi believes in second chances, and HE gave the second chance to Dazai that Oda must have wanted Dazai to get, even if the ADA accepted Dazai, no one has ever reassured him being a good person before. (Also in BSD wan, when Dazai says "I want to go out beautifully" during the fireworks scene, in the end-credits Atsushi sits near the river the entire day because he was sad that Dazai was suicidal. And in BSD mayoi, Dazai makes a snowman of Atsushi along with Oda, Ango and Chuuya, showing how much he adored Atsushi)

It's the same with Akutagawa; Atsushi doesn't understand why Akutagawa hates him and he's mean to Akutagawa at times but it never crossed a line. Akutagawa had done so many bad things to Atsushi but at the end they still worked together. Because Dazai understood the only person who will make Akutagawa use his powers to "protect" instead of "attack" is Atsushi. During the ending fight in S3, Akutagawa makes an armour for Atsushi as they combine their powers. And in the end credit scene of S5, we see Akutagawa protecting Atsushi AGAIN. This time Akutagawa isn't wearing the same coat Dazai gave him and for the first time shows true loyalty to Atsushi. ("Just the two of us?" "Do we need more?" *SCREAMS*)

Atsushi's relationship with the headmaster of the orphanage shows how much the trauma affected him as a child. When he can't forgive the headmaster at his death, he hates himself for not being able to give a second chance. And that's when Dazai steps in and tells him, "we cry when our father dies" something Atsushi really needs to hear and he finally cries.

Atsushi reassures Dazai all the time and Dazai snaps Atsushi out of his self depreciation all the time. Their solidarity throughout the story, shows why that day when Dazai chose Atsushi for the ADA; he recognised not Atsushi's powerful ability but his true ability in choosing to believe in people when no one else can.

TSH New Years headcanon (after the epilogue)

Richard's POV

By the time Camilla and I arrived at the balcony of his house; Francis as expected was already lounging on the sofa, with a glass of red wine in his hand and looking at the dark sky twinkling with stars.

He barely acknowledged us as we sat down opposite each other, Camilla put down the box of Macrons she had bought as a gift and I opened the bottle of champagne I had bought.

Without a glance he shook his now empty glass towards me and made me pour some for him first.

"Do you not feel cold? Shouldn't you at least put a sweater on?" Camilla asked him in a concerned tone

"I was trying to die from frost bite" Francis chuckled, "I was joking" he added to me when I raised an eyebrow.

"It's ten minutes till twelve" I looked at my watch "what plan do you have for new years?"

"I have stopped caring about plans since the time Henry ended up dying"

Camilla and I exchanged looks, her lips twitched and she avoided eye-contact with me. Perhaps she too felt the same emptiness Francis seemed to be feeling. After all before I met them, they already celebrated New Years together with the others. But this year too Charles, Henry and Bunny were gone.

"How is Charles?" I asked Camilla, not really expecting an answer

She shrugged "I have no idea. He sent back the Christmas card I sent him. But he did take the money I left it in"

"Of course he did" Barked Francis, he sat up straighter to look us in the eyes for the first time

"And Julian? Do you know where he is?" I asked Francis this time, ounce again not expecting any answer

"Who the fuck cares about him now? I don't. He is probably in some private college, trying to recreate another Greek tradegy"

"I heard he is doing a world tour" Camilla said "He is currently in the Caribbean"

"I hope he dies there" Francis said bitterly

After Julian ditched our side when we needed him, we had stopped caring about him like he did to us. I did keep up with his news, despite his deeds he was still quite fascinating to me.

"do you remember the first class you had with Julian?" Francis asked me

"yes, I do" I could never forget that first class, no matter what

"What was the question Julian asked at the end of the class?"

"And if beauty is terror" I said slowly remembering the exact words "then what is desire? We think we have many desires, but in fact we have only one. What is it?"

"To live," said Camilla

She was perched up on the sofa with a shawl covering her head; her nose and cheeks pink with cold.

"To live forever" corrected Francis "such an ironic thing for Bunny to say, isn't it?"

He then poured the three of us more champagne.

"Here's to the New Year" he said more brightly, raising a toast "To live forever"

"To live forever" repeated Camilla and I, as we clicked the glasses together, the fireworks started.

Another year went by and we remained stuck in the past. This year, we will move on. That was my new year's resolution.

(I wish I could write better 🫠. But here's to a new year "To live forever")

An INTP view of life: part 1

ENFJ: good morning my sunshine!

INTP: I just went to sleep.

ENFJ: It's 11 Am

INTP: time is an illusion.

.....................................

ESTJ: you have got to start your work.

INTP: nah

ESTJ: you have six hours till the deadline

INTP: six hours! I learned morse code in that time during a flight.

...........................

ISTP: you know we can conserve more energy and live longer if we don't move

INTP: I guess so. You wanna live longer?

ISTP: are you kidding?

INTP: yeah, I know living is the root of all our problems.

ISTP: wait, what exactly is our problem?

...................................

INFP: sometimes I see my reflection and feel sacred that no one will know the real me.

INTP: interesting

INFP: that I will live in a world full people who don't understand the reason of existence.....that we might have nothing to live for.....that everything is worthless

INTP: are you having an existential crisis?

INFP: yes...

INTP: happens to me six times a week, here have some tea.

INFP: maybe you understand me.

INTP: I am very good with people's thinking, I see through them.I just don't like to go near them. How about you don't hug me?

......................................

ENTJ: I will become the absolute best version of myself!

INTP: so you mean, you are not the best?

ENTJ: the best version of MYSELF

INTP: so there's a lame you, a cool you, a stupid you, a nice you....wait nice one doesn't exist

ENTJ: when I will be incharge I will make sure you rot in a dungeon

INTP: well that's where the best ideas come from. I don't mind it.

ENTJ: I can't believe you infuriate and amuse me at the same time.

Sskk is one of the most emotional rivalries/ships I have ever seen. It is a relationship that actually hits the heart. Skk is iconic. Kyoukenji is cute. Fyolai is poetic. HiguGin is heartwarming. But sskk?

Sskk is deeper than all these dynamics. The more you get into it the more parallels you see, the more symbolism you see. The things they say to each other both stings at times and also makes you cry.

Akutagawa is both at his best and worst whenever he is around Atsushi. And the more the story goes on the less bitter he becomes.

Atsushi despises Akutagawa but he still works with him, because working with Akutagawa makes him more secure, feel as if someone's got his back.

"Don't worry, go you fool"

"That's why Dazai-san left you"

"Just the two of us?"

"Do we need more?"

Akutagawa and Atsushi support and help each other. They work as a team. Putting their differences apart

Because they are quite similar, looking for one thing; reassurance and praise

They have had difficult childhoods with no parental guidance and they grew up to be very different in terms of personality because of their unique circumstances.

All of these emotions. All of this pain in them. That keeps them separate but it also brings them together. Because that's the thing that they both understand. What's it like to have nothing. And they fight because they just want to be a part of something.

And maybe in one universe where Dazai never brought them together, they might be the best of friends like they were always supposed to.

It doesn't matter how their relationship is, soulmates will always find each other.

After all the only person Akutagawa has smiled at besides his sister-------is Atsushi