I Love These New DNA Testing Sites They Have, I Should Really Drop The 80 Bucks.  But These Videos Of

I don’t Glorify Drugs

I did/do drugs because I am now, and have always been bored, and lazy, seeking a universe other than my own.  When I was a child I was a very deep thinker, and was bored with the things people did around me with some exceptions of course.  Being a drug addict isnt cool, but its also not some thing to be demonized. 

All humans are drug addicts.  Maybe you cant put down your soda coffee and donuts, you’ll die of diabetes or colon cancer.  Maybe you cant stop excercizing and roid rage ya heart out or get balerina cant have my period skinny.  maybe youll get addicted to your own chemicals and base jump from shorter and shorter things.

When you’re a kid, a teenager its natural for people to want to do what theyre told not to, and even smarter kids, will be drawn to mind altering things as an experimental scientific sort of thing.  I will comment on drugs alot on this blog dont worry.

Drugs are cool when you’re 15, when youre 25, 35, 45, its either because you’re weak or you hate life enough to escape it any and every way you can ( like me, i wont turn down a free drug to this day ) and if its just you fine, do it, giggle, od, no one gives a shit youre not special im not special.  But dont do it if it ruins other lives, give the kids away, then die in a gutter, simple right? 

I’m lying, drugs are SO cool, its great being happy for 4-8 hours, then feel like shit the next day, then after alot of that, its so cool to be hot, and cold, and hot again, its awesome being constipated for 4 days then shitting nonstop for 6, its the COOLEST. 

Vicadin/whiskey dick is super fun, and then when ya coming off em its super fun to cum at basically the slightest touch, its just, the best of both worlds.  All that said I’m pro drug, do hallucinogens, expand your mind, its better for anxiety and depression than xanex, ask a neurologist.  We all die, what we learn, say, do, and think are all that matters, if drugs make you feel not like the asshole you are, do em, works for me.

Bob Pepper - A Scanner Darkly, 1977.

The Human story: When you’re very young, the world is confusing, you struggle to understand the meaning of life, and therefore life is an abstract, fairly meaningless.  In the middle of your life, you have brushes with death maybe, health problems, near OD’s, your parents die and suddenly you’re very alone.  You work through it, but you start to fear death. 

Maybe I skipped a chapter already but at one point if you’re lucky you stop fearing the unknown, you realize everytime you sleep you die and hope you’re reborn, some people find god, and try to right all their wrongs out of fear, but death is the great equalizer, and is necessary.  Unlike Humans, Earth recycles everything and there are only X amount of resources therefore only Y amout of things can live on X. 

Do I fear death?  Sorta, do I also contemplate death as a release from the sufferings of the world?  You bet, but really it all comes down to how stubborn you are, I’m not in love with life, life has been shitty to me, and now that I’m old enough to do something about it I’ve lost all ambition therein.  At the same time, unlike some hot topic teen goth I dont romanticize death, death is grizzly and horrible. 

Most adults make a life via their vocations and families, they dont have to contemplate their mortality or the nature of the universe, not often, but I dont have that luxury, and as I sit here in my little self made cell, high or drunk on whatever, I think my perspective is different than alot of people. 

Every angsty teen is in love with death because they have a goldfish like brain, and they’re just finding the ocean, most adults are affraid to swim, so they only swim for reasons they make up, money, career advancement, what have you, and some pull the trigger and sink.  Death comes to us all, how you handle it is what makes you you, and everything you say do or think will be defined by this one basic premise, youll either be reckless or fearless, and both are really a sham.  You WILL die, your loved ones will die, in 200 years no one will remember your name, anyone who would will die, invent a heaven or live with it, live to youre old and pissing yourself in a bag, die at 20 from an OD it really doesnt matter you’re just a building everyones waiting to fall down so they can use your bones to shape a new building, you matter completely and you dont matter at all.

I refuse to cry for the people I know that have died young from drugs, i refuse to cry for the people that lived to be old enough to drain excess resources to prolong their inevitable demise, I refuse your concept of reality, I refuse.

The Whole History of the World

A 12 step program:

1 - Earth is formed from dust and shit

2 - Water forms, weird little fish frog things come out

3 - Monkeys evolve from said fish frogs in southern africa

4 - Monkeys leave africa, come up with religion

5 - Lots and lots of people die over religions

6 - we start farming animals, get a slew of diseases

7 - we wipe eachother out with diseases

8 - we invent penicillin and shit

9 - we go back to killing eachother over cartoon characters in the sky

10 - History repeats itself

11 - We all get fat, and destroy the atmosphere, we die and take everything with us

12 - The sun dies, no one is around to notice we were ever there

The End

I'm left in misery, the girl I love's gone across the sea I'm all alone, I ain't got no home

Mandy was her name, sleepin' was her game She didn't care about me oh God, baby can't you see

I'm a lonely boy, I'm a lonely boy....

“ Im a hot junkie girl, all my bills are paid for me and my life is SO tough...”

Man created God in his image: intolerant, sexist, homophobic and violent.

George Weinberg (via question-everythinng)