πππ // πππππππππππππ: πππππππ
+ sae x f!reader | wc 5k | content: angst to fluff, breakups, exbf!sae, exes to lovers
notes: this is the alternate ending to conversations ! (requested by one of my anons) iβm so sorry this took so long !!! and iβm 100% sure you did not expect me to write anything this long but iβm sorry my hand slipped >_< again β¦ iβm super rusty but i hope you guys still like this ^_^
summary: saeβs willing to throw everything else away to prove that out of everything in his life, youβre the one sure thing he needs. problem is, will you accept him after what heβs done?
heβs sorry.
he repeats it in his head, over and over again, his fingers almost numb from repeatedly pressing the call button on your numberβover and over and over again.
sorry, sorry, sorry.
itβs no use, he knows. itβs why heβs hereβwhy heβs taking a flight, bare-handed, back to japan, back to home, back to you.
βplease switch off your phone, sir,β the flight attendant says politely, dutily, as the plane starts to move.
begrudgingly, he resigns, but the moment he starts hearing your voicemail message play, he sighs, speaking into the receiver.
βlook, i know i fucked up and it was stupid of me to keep it from you. iβm sorry, okay? and i know you donβt want to speak to me right now but i canβt just sit around and do nothing. i love you, so iβm coming back home, and weβll talk, and thenβ¦ i promise you, nothing like this will happen again.β
yes, because heβll make sure of that. heβll make sure he doesnβt make decisions like a stupid teenage boy and heβll make sure to trust you at every turn instead of trying to hide anything from you because youβre right. never in the course of your relationship did you ever doubt sae.
which is a feat. because given his profession and status, any number of girls wouldβve been distrusting had they been in your position. not that sae knows, what can he say he knows about girls? nothing, apparently. after today, that much is sure.
as he turns his phone on aeroplane mode, he throws his head back and looks out of the plane window. less than a day till heβll be there to see you in person. heβs not sure if youβre going to even want to see him, but heβll try. you deserve that much, at least.
in his head, the same words repeat over and over again.
iβm sorry.
i love you.
youβre all i ever want.
by the time saeβs plane touches down, itβs night time in japan, close to midnight. you should be resting, probably tired out from crying; he can imagine, because stupid as he may be, he can at least say he knows you this much.
your words can be hard, cold, cruel, but you never are. youβre all soft inside, and youβd rather face your emotions alone than let anyone know how you feel. at least, when those emotions concern sae. youβll keep them to yourself and keep crying, day after day, until you canβt find it in yourself to care anymore.
passport in one hand, his phone in another, he whisks off toward the taxi stand, mind in a mess because his phoneβs now ringing with messages from everyone that isnβt you, probably concerning his absence from the last match of the tournament.
fuck the final match.
you probably thought heβll play anyway. that heβll play the match, and only afterwards would he attempt things further with you.
funnily enough, thatβs what sae used to think too. before any of this happened. never in his life did he think heβd sooner rather sabotage his own career than lose you. itβs laughable, really, how much heβs so afraid of losing you that it clouds his judgement.
he shouldβve been honest with you from the start instead of letting you find out on your own. it was that easy.
βcould you step on it, please?β sae sighs, irritated at everything keeping him from you; the distance, the traffic, the stupidity.
the taxi driver narrows his gaze at sae through the rear view mirror, clearly annoyed. βiβd rather not get a ticket,β he replies monotonously, and sae sees that heβs driving at the speed limit. βwouldnβt want to get into an accident, would you?β
well, if he did, that would put a real hamper in his plans, so sae just shuts up and switches off his phone. none of them are you anyway. thereβs no point.
as he stares out the window at the now-quiet city, he finds that, for the first time, heβs afraid of losing everything.
mira [7.28pm]: make sure you get enough rest! bought some soup for you in case you havenβt eaten :)
you look at the time nowβ12.14am. fuck, did you really sleep the entire day away?
the sliver of moonlight that shines through your blinds is all you see next to the pitter patter of the heavy rain against your window. itβs pathetic, really, for you to take a day off just because of that argument (if you can really call it that) the night before. you couldnβt bring yourself to even watch his game like youβd promised him you always would, once upon a time.
something tells you that he should expect that, though. even without watching his game, you know theyβd win. sae has always been magical like that, being the playmaker he is. you imagine heβs probably with his team now, celebrating the win. or are they asleep right now? you never could get used to the time difference. itβs too much of a headache.
aside from mira, you see a voicemail message in your inbox. from sae. it makes your heart skip a beat. are you even ready to hear him and whatever he has to say? itβs why youβd been avoiding him since yesterdayβyouβre afraid youβre just going to crumble and forgive and get taken advantage of. it threatens to spin the same old story youβve always known.
you click on it anyway.
βlook, i know i fucked up and it was stupid of me to keep it from you. iβm sorry, okay? and i know you donβt want to speak to me right now but i canβt just sit around and do nothing. i love you, so iβm coming back home, and weβll talk, and thenβ¦ i promise you, nothing like this will happen again.β
will it though? how much can you trust his words after he already failed once? it makes you think twice, no matter how badly you want to forgive him because you do believe him. itβs most likely nothing, and what he said is most likely true, but it makes you upset that he thought of hiding such a thing from you.
just as you toss your phone aside, you hear a series of urgent knocks on your door, the thunder ruthless outside. slowly, you get up, dragging your feet against the hardwood floors and flinching a little as you hear how loud the banging is. youβre half afraid and half agitated, halfway between hiding yourself under the covers and threatening to kill whoever it is outside.
but then you swing the door open and youβre met with that pair of teal eyes youβve always loved, his bangs matted against his face as he pants, the rainwater drenching him from head to toe.
βy/n,β he calls out, as though itβs been ages since he last heard from you. itβs only been a day, but itβs enough to make sae feel as though itβs been forever.
youβre a little shocked, your brain trying to process every single question that comes to mind.
is that really him? why isnβt he in spain? if he played the game, the timeline doesnβt add upβhow did he get here so fast? is this actually a dream? holy crap it feels so real, though? why isnβt he saying anything?
βs-sae?β
youβre not even sure if you said that out loudβyouβre a little too shocked to make sense of anything right now. but the moment the corner of his lips tug upward, revealing that lopsided smile you love, you know itβs real.
heβs here.
βiβ¦ came to talk,β is all he can say. heβs tired from running up the stairs. apparently tonight, everything was against him. there was an accident right at the street before the corner of your apartment, so heβd had to end the trip early and start running for it. by the time he got here, the elevators for your block were all undergoing maintenance and unusable. but fuck if twenty flights of stairs are enough to make him turn away.
youβre blinking a lot, as if you find it unbelievable that heβs here in the first place, but you nod anyway and step aside to let him in, wet clothes and all.
βhow was work today?β
itβs definitely not what he came here from spain to talk about but you entertain it anyway.
βdidnβt go,β you tell him, a little coldly, but you think he deserves that much, at least. βhow was the game?β
βdonβt know, didnβt go.β
you two are similar that way.
βwhy not?β
βi had other important things to do.β
βyou do? pray tell.β
itβs the first time saeβs hearing you like this and heβs sure now that he never wants to make you like this ever againβgoing against your nature.
itβs lame, and overused, and you deserve an essay for why he shouldnβt and wouldnβt ever do this again to you but itβs sae and heβs never sure whatβs good in these situations so all he can manage to say is, βiβm so sorry.β
you cross your arms as the both of you stand in your dimly-lit living room, the storm raging on outside. itβs not like you donβt know that. that aside, youβre pretty sure heβs the most sorry heβs ever been. and if you were still the same naive girl you used to be ten years ago you probably wouldβve forgiven him by now.
but youβre not.
βokay, is that all?β
itβs not what you really want to say. you kind of just want this to be a dream; that picture of him and that random girl with their lips locked, that fight that you had that made you cry to sleep. you wish it was some sort of stupid nightmare that didnβt make him ruin your trust but it did.
sae, on the other hand, seems restless. heβs taken aback, not quite sure how to get through to you because heβs never made a mistake like this before. βjust- could youβ¦ forgive me?β
the ache you head in his voice breaks you, and youβre sure he can see the tears threatening to spill, but you stand with your choice. βcan i? i donβt really know, to be honest,β you respond, voice soft and low, not quite daring to meet his eyes in case you falter.
the contrast between how you were and how you are kicks him in the gut and he has no one to blame but himself. he doesnβt want to, but he can sense where this is going. heβs not stupid, he justβ¦ doesnβt want to believe it.
βpleaseβ¦ donβt do this?β sae swallows the lump in his throat, the foreign way his heartbeat quickens out of fear stumping him. thereβs probably more he should say, but maybe that just wouldnβt be enough anymore. his words canβt find him and he canβt find it in himself to reach out to you. not when he realises you out of all people hate the most for having to do this.
if you just blindly follow your heart, youβd leap in his arms right now, fuck how soaked he is. because you still love him. you know that, and you think maybe he knows it too, but judging by the perplexed look on his face, he probably doesnβt realise it. thatβs why your brain does the deciding for you. it had already made its choice the moment you saw that picture, the moment you saw the headlines on that gossip rag.
βiβ¦ think we should break up, sae.β
before today, if youβd told yourself that one day, youβd say these words, you wouldnβt believe it. but here you are, breaking up with the love of your life.
sae is just standing in front of you, staring at you, the happy picture of the two of you during your second year anniversary hanging on your wall haunting him this very second. the command he gave his assistant to help him get that ring for you sending him into the pits of despair. heβs so stunned he doesnβt know what to say or do.
βyouβreβ¦ serious?β
thereβs no expression in his eyes. theyβre just dull, and dark, and nothing like how youβre used to.
this time, youβre the one trying to force the words out of your mouth, calmly, because youβre afraid that the tears will just spill out. βyouβreβ¦ youβre the one who told me to be kinder to myself, right?β
sae chuckles softly, helplessly, as he realises you take every word he says to heart.
EIGHT YEARS AGO
it was beyond him why you let yourself be subjected to this. nobody was a saint, but surely you deserved better than to be treated like trash?
sae understood a little of where you were coming from. it was hard to let go of a three-year relationship, but having you visit him crying in the middle of the night wasnβt exactly what he would condone.
βyou can do better than him, you know that right?β
the words slipped out of his mouth before he knew it. heβd once sworn that he wouldnβt meddle in your relationship, that heβd let you figure it out on your own, but your heartaches were getting too often those days that sae just couldnβt hold it in anymore.
it probably wasnβt the best thing to say to you, considering how you were bawling your eyes out and staining his entire jersey with your tears, but sae was never one to filter his words.
βeveryone says that.β
which tells sae you didnβt believe that.
βwhich means thereβs some truth there,β he sighed, leaning back against the couch as you continued to bury your head in his chest. sae saw rin from the corner of the room, peaking out of the hallway and gave him a quick wave to signal him to leave them alone.
βiβ¦ donβt know what to do.β
you rarely ever did. having been your friend for the past four years before this taught sae two things: one, you gave your all for your relationship, and two, you were one of the kindest people heβs ever known. (and by extension, it simply meant you knew what had to be done, but you refused to do it.)
sae took a deep breath, eyes gazing up at the ceiling before he resumes, βi donβt know why you let people treat you like that.β
you stayed quiet, sniffling, though itβs getting softer now, so sae continues.
βyou know, youβre one of the nicest people i know,β sae told you, fingers absentmindedly stroking your hairβthe way he always wanted to but never let himself admit. βwhich is why it kinda sucks that youβre so stupid to let yourself be hurt by that asshole over and over again.β
the both of you chuckled at that. sae was glad to know you understood he meant only well.
βstopβ¦ letting people hurt you and then letting them get away like that, okay?β he said it softly, but you definitely caught it. βbe kinder to yourself, fucks sake.β
he felt your fingers curl, gripping at his shirt as you stopped yourself from crying. you looked up at him that night, smiling as your tears dried, and sae remembered telling himself that heβd never want to be the reason you had to feel upset.
βwhen you say it like that, how can i say no?β you joked, laughing, wiping the last of your tears away. βbesides, even if i was still being stupid, iβd always have you with me, right?β
sae remembers.
he remembers not answering you, but he remembers thinking yes, always. and he has a feeling you knew back then too, that sae would always be there for you regardless.
only if itβs you.
maybe even back then, you already knew how he felt for you. and you would always listen to him. youβd always believe in him. now he feels even more stupid for everything that transpired. with his words thrown back at him, he finds himself speechless.
βyouβre right,β he replies, voice hoarse, his gaze dropping to the floor. sae was being stupid, and heβs crazy if he thinks heβll be let off that easy.
youβre sniffling a little, and he does you the courtesy of not looking at you even though youβre already turning away. βiβll mail you your stuff.β
βitβs fine, iβll get rin to help me take βem.β
itβs a diplomatic breakup. polite, nothing out of line, just two adults deciding that maybe now just isnβt the time.
after a long pause, sae gets the guts to speak. βyou know youβre the only one for me, right?β because he feels like maybe youβd been doubting it recently and he doesnβt want you to feel worthless. maybe it has the adverse effect and maybe itβs selfish but he needs you to hear that.
you donβt acknowledge it, and you barely acknowledge him, even as he turns to walk out the door. this time, youβre the one not giving the answer, but sae feels like he knows how you feel anyway. you need time away from him. a proper break from him. so sae leaves wordlessly, clinging on to hope that maybe one day, heβll be deserving of you again.
the moment sae closes the door, you fall to the floor, wailing into your cushion pillow, having one of the worst nights of your life.
THE NEXT WEEK
annoying jr [10.48am]: oi stupid, iβm here.
βfollowed by an incessant ringing of your doorbell.
when you groan and swing the front door open, youβre greeted by a smirking rin. at least he hasnβt changed one bit since youβd known him when he was a kid. well, at least not to you.
βdid you have to ring it so obnoxiously?β you whine, plopping down on your couch, burying your head in the leather seats.
rin shuts the door behind him, scoffing. βyouβre the one who always used to wake up late,β he quips, rolling his eyes (you donβt have to see it, you just know how heβs going to react).
βand someone was always the third party on dates,β you snap back, sticking your tongue out at him.
he deadpans, clicking his tongue in annoyance. βhey, wasnβt my fault my stupid brother kept using me as an excuse to go out.β
right, because back then his parents were a lot more strict than they are now, back before they didnβt know you.
realising that the mood had grown a little somber, rin clears his throat, changing the subject. βhowβs work so far?β
you chuckle under your breath, finding it funny how both the brothersβ go-to question is to ask about your work. though, theyβve never been that good in conversations so you canβt blame them.
βitβs fine, promotion periodβs coming up so iβm preparing for that,β you respond lacklustrely, getting up off the couch, dragging your feet to your bedroom before resurfacing just ten seconds later, carrying a box full of saeβs things.
itβs full of his clothes, care products and the like, but mostly clothes, because youβd realised you liked to steal his jerseys, wear them like theyβre your own, but mostly because they smell like him, remind you of him when heβs not physically around and makes you feel better.
doesnβt make you feel good when you have to pack them up, though. you cried all the way again. pathetically. but rin doesnβt have to know, so you keep up your unbothered facade.
rin takes the box from you, thankfully not mentioning his brother. βhope you get that promotion then,β he says politely, though you sense he might have something else to say that he doesnβt know if he should.
you sigh, because sometimes rin looks like a neglected younger brother and you donβt have the heart to ignore him like sae does sometimes. βgo ahead, say whatβs on your mind.β
it takes just a moment of hesitation before rin heeds your words. βdid you see saeβs interview last night?β
part of you doesnβt want to think about anything related to sae, but most of you still misses him, so itβs a canon event that you still look out for any and every news of him. itβs sad and pathetic and thatβs why you make extra care not to mention any of that to anyone.
βnope, was it about their recent win?β
you try to go on as per normal, like sae isnβt just the love of your life that you still wanted.
βmhm.β rin, at least, doesnβt tease you about it. whether he means to or not, youβre grateful for that. βthey asked him, though. about that game.β (but of course, you knew that already.)
ah, that game. the game that he abandoned to come find you. the game that led up to your breakup. the game that sae probably had to pay dearly for for knowingly ditching.
βoh, i see. what about it?β
a resigned sigh leaves rinβs lips as he looks at you with the full sincerity of a younger brother concerned with his older brotherβs fuckup. βheβ¦ really loves you, you know? heβs justβ¦ stupid.β
you snort at his last remark, both of you breaking out into a small laughter. itβs bittersweet, thinking about how this might be the last time you see rin, but youβll probably get over it. youβll get over this, and sae, and move on somedayβnow if only you could get yourself to want that.
βi know,β you mutter quietly, deciding that itβs best not to speak too much about it. itβs dumb, considering everything that happened, but his words made you feel relieved, even if just for a second.
just before he leaves, you give him one last hug. βthanks, rin.β
THREE MONTHS LATER
βplease donβt give me another heart attack like last time.β
sae huffs, annoyed, although he knows he probably deserves that. his poor assistant went through hell trying to appease everyone on the team due to saeβs last stunt. luckily, there are exceptions made for the best soccer player on the team, so no punishment was dire enough that he had to get kicked.
βiβm just going out for some air.β sae leaves before his assistant can get any words out, entirely too tired today to listen to anything anyone else has to say.
besides, today is a special day.
the moment heβs out of earshot, he calls one of the only contacts on his phone. for some reason, his heart is thumping wildly and his fingers are fiddling with the hem of his windbreaker. the weather is nearing negatives but somehow, he doesnβt feel it.
βhello?β
sae nearly gets a heart attack of his own when a deep, low voice is what he hears, until he realises that he recognises it.
βrin, whatβre you doing there?β
he can make out the sadistic chuckle from halfway across the world. βwhat, disappointed?β (if sae could punch him right now he would.) βrelax, weβre just at her birthday dinner and sheβs busy,β he explains, though sae doesnβt nearly care about any of that other than the fact that he wants to talk to you.
βwhereβs y/n?β
βsheβs the birthday girl, people are lining up just to take pictures with her,β rin raises his voice over the background, and saeβs never been more frustrated. βsheβs taking pics with some handsome guy right now, and heβs got his hands around her waist,β rin whistles right after, and sae can just sense his smugness through the phone.
whether what his brother said was true or not, sae is in no position to be jealous anyway. (even though he is and heβs sporting an unamused frown thatβs enough to scare the living daylights out of anyone watching him.)
βwish her happy birthday for me then.β
rin snorts. βsure. disappointed you didnβt get to hear herββ sae hangs up before he can be subjected to anymore of his brotherβs nonsense. all he really wanted was to just hear your voice, but he wonβt be greedy.
staying friends was already a miracle. thatβs only possible because you have a heart of gold, and he knows that if he ever pushes it too much, he might just risk losing you forever and he knows he canβt have that. so for now, thisβll do.
heβll wait, no matter how long he has to.
later that night, when the moon is high up in spain, sae receives a notification from you. there, attached in your thread is an audio message.
βitoshi saeβ¦ thank you.β
the little laugh you leave at the end is enough to make him smile at his phone. he counts his blessings for you, and starts counting down to the days he has left in spain. if he wants you, he needs to go all in.
ONE YEAR LATER
βyou ready yet? iβm at your lobby.β
sae can just barely make out your panicked state from the other line. youβre late, and you know heβs fine with waiting, but because youβre a perfectionist, you really really donβt want him to have to.
βyeah, just gimme like, five minutes!β which sae knows translates to i actually need twenty but iβll rush. thereβs a certain satisfaction it gives himβknowing that he knows you in these ways that nobody else can.
βtake your time, i have to pump some gas anyway, running low,β he tells you, an excuse which you accept right away because itβs convenient.
sae doesnβt even need any gas. itβs full, so he parks his car by the entrance and waits inside, turning up the air conditioning because he knows youβll be sweating a little by the time you inevitably still choose to rush down.
itβs exactly one year since the last time he wished you happy birthday (through rin). and this year, heβs happy enough he gets to actually take you out. the past yearβs been filled of sae restarting the relationship from ground zeroβback to being friends and gradually coming back again to where you are now, dating. sure, itβs taxing having to do it all over again, but heβd do this however many times you want him to.
SIX MONTHS AGO
βhmmm, i dunno how to feel, i kinda like this.β
sae had been calling you up often, and he feels good inside knowing that you might miss him as much as he misses you.
βkinda like what?β he asked, wishing that he could see your expression right now.
βkinda like you chasing me all over again,β you giggled, shameless with your words. βwhat if i just never agree to be your girlfriend again? what if i just make you chase after me forever?β
he knew for a fact that you werenβt that sadistic, but even so, his answer would still be the same. βthen iβll stick in this phase with you. forever.β although that would render the ring that he bought for you useless.
βoh really?β
sae hummed in faux contemplation. βnah, maybe not. maybe iβll just ditch you and run off with ryusei or something.β
he got a laugh out of you for that.
βryusei? not even some other girl, but ryusei?β
sae chuckledβhe still remembered his mistake. and heβd never put you in a position to feel that way again. even if you two were just joking around.
βy/n, thereβs no one else except you.β he was rarely ever serious like this, especially considering how you bantered as friends, but sometimes, he knew he had to. nowadays, more than anything, he just wanted to know that you had no doubts about how he felt for you.
you didnβt give any response to that, but considering how you started to ease up around him even more after that, sae felt like maybe there was a solid hope there of reviving this after all.
the knock on his window brings him back into the present, your pretty face doing wonders in lighting up his mood.
as you get into the passenger seat, sae steals a glance at you from head to toeβyouβre so beautiful and so worth the wait and youβll always be.
βso, where are you taking me today, mr itoshi sae?β
he leans back against his seat, tilting his head as he looks at you, feigning contemplation. βdepends, ms l/n y/n, do you trust me?β
you press your lips into a line, the corners threatening to tug upwards. youβre so adorable that saeβs actually going to go insane but he dons a straight face like he always has because letting you know the power you have over him is more than you need to know.
βi think itβd be a little weird if i couldnβt trust my boyfriend.β
suddenly itβs like time stands still and saeβs hands are stuck on the steering wheel and heβs left staring into space wondering if he heard you right. boyfriend? he turns around to look at you, teal eyes searching your own for answers but all he sees is a smirk on your faceβyou definitely know the power you have over him.
βwow, want me that bad, huh?β you joke, giggling as you tell him to hit the gas. βiβ¦ wasnβt kidding though.β
and as he pulls out of the parking lot, he thinks about the little velvet box that sits in his jacket pocket, thinks about the fact that heβs one of the luckiest people in the world thanks to you. heat rises to his cheeks, and he has to look away from you.
βyou know one day youβre still gonna be mrs itoshi, right?β
this time, you laughβbut not like you think itβs a joke, more like the kind where you think was there even any other option? and even then, you offer him assurance.
βthereβs nothing i want more.β
i still can't believe this is his bed hair like dude...wtf???
it looks amazing on you sweetie <3
insider story with kenma and hinata:
shidou ryusei x fem reader ; words: 6.7k (6723)
plot: if there's something you love it's the relationship you have with charles, the little player of PxG. one thing you hate is shidou ryusei, the stupidest boy in the entire universe. the positive negative thing is that charles literally considers you and shidou his parents
extra: spoiler from U-20 and NEL arcs, read at your own risk!! jk, but don't read if you don't want big spoilers, and don't complain to me
ππ ππππππππππ ; take a look, trust me!
βββ FIRST
"Could you be more precise in your throw? The ball goes where it's supposed to go, but you know that a mistake of even a millimeter can make it end up with the opponent. I want you to be precise" you say sitting comfortably on your bench, legs crossed, pen in hand and a notebook resting on your knees "How exactly? Do I have to go like, wah wah and then booosh?" the boy says, sprinting across the field, moving in a way that only he understands perfectly, but that you're now more or less starting to understand "Exactly. I want more mobility from you"
Charles nods "Okay, ma mère!" he says laughing, then goes back to his training. You roll your eyes pretending to be annoyed, but you can't suppress the little smile that appears on your lips: he's been using this nickname for months now, at first it was weird, but now it almost feels strange if he calls you by your name, your real name. It's just that little by little you've become fond of the idea of playing an almost maternal role for Charles, who is actually only a few years younger than you
"Yoo! Where's my favorite boy?" says someone you recognize by their usual shrill tone of voice
Oh, and here's Charles' father figure
What a shitty choice
"Shidou!" the boy shouts running towards the blond, who ruffles his hair as soon as they get close "Usual boring training?" he asks, and you watch them from afar annoyed. You know that Shidou asks this because he knows that you are almost always the one training the ftench genius, except for the rare times Loki does it. Shidou knows you're here, otherwise he wouldn't have looked at you and smiled that usual smile he does because he knows it annoys you
"I wouldn't say boring. I improved a few things with my coach" he says, and you like how Charles defends you in front of that parasite "Improved with Y/n? Then she blinded you too with those same old training sessions..." he says, even seeming sorry for the boy "Training is stupid, all you need is practice on the field" Shidou says starting to run towards the ball, which has remained further away from them. Charles chases him, and between them begins a 1vs1 that leaves you space to hate Shidou in your thoughts
You hate how sure of himself he is, how he always wants to prove himself better than you in front of Charles and everyone in general. You simply hate Ryusei Shidou, but you have to live with the idea that the little blond only listens to you and him in the whole Blue Lock, if not sometimes even Julian Loki. The last match of the Neo Genesis League was about to start, and in a few days PxG would face Bastard Munchen, who you knew were in a bit of a critical situation due to their players. Being on par with Anri in terms of organisation, it was up to you and her to manage the training sessions that Ego administered to the players, and as a result you knew practically everything that was going on in the teams, although you had to remain impartial due to your more present commitment to the french team. You were originally supposed to end up as Chigiri's assistant coach at Manshine City, but at the last minute you asked to coach Charles, and the role was given to you straight away. Charles was not in the Blue Lock training system, he came from a french city whose name you only sometimes remembered. He would not stay here in Japan, at the end of the NEL he would leave like all the other foreign players. Your heart ached a little thinking about it, but you wanted to make him strong first and then think about the separation
When you had the recording videos of the foreign players in hand, he had immediately caught your attention. After a few training sessions together he had already started to trust you: Charles was a child, but you had 9 younger brothers at home who had always given you problems, so managing him was like walking on already studied ground
You weren't sure how Charles had come to hear only you and the other two boys, but you didn't care so much actually. The ball lands a few meters from where you're sitting, and Shidou immediately arrives and picks it up, running back into the middle of the field, but not before staring at you for a few seconds. Here comes the parasite
Shidou had been in the Blue Lock since the beginning of the project, or at least, something like that. During the match against U-20 he had played alongside Sae Itoshi, thus appearing as an enemy. But there was much more underneath
At the beginning of the project, you and Shidou were actually friends, if that's what you could call the relationship. You were the practical part of Ego and Anri, the only one who watched the games on the bench and not through a screen like them. You liked your role, as you liked exchanging a few words with the players. In the end, you had become a bit of a friend to everyone, the only girl in a myriad of boys who only had soccer and food on their minds. And when you say friend to everyone, Ryusei also falls into this category
You joked, you rooted for him, and he rooted for you when you were called up by Ego after some little mistake you made. It happened that he would spend hours and hours on the field just to talk to you while he kicked the ball; if he had some free time after training, he would ask you to get some pink dye and redo the color in his hair. It was a strange relationship, damn strange, but beautiful in your opinion. At least that was before he was muzzled into silence, tied up in a room for Rin Itoshi's safety. You knew he was deadly, but on the one hand you thought, and still think, Ego's behavior was a little excessive. And so Shidou had been "bought" by the prodigy, moved to the U-20 team and brought back to the Blue Lock only at the start of the Neo Genesis League. And from that moment, everything had changed
The first few days after his return you tried to talk to him, thinking that everything was the same as before, but he seemed to be the same but far from you. And so, gradually, you started to hate him and he started to love your annoyed face because of him. And here you are again, trying to ignore the part where you were deeply disappointed when you heard he was leaving for another team. But you preferred that to be ignored, at least by you and the entire world
βATTENTION!β Charles shouts, and before you know it, the ball lands in your face, knocking you off the bench. You lay there confused for a few seconds, before you see the boy in your field of vision, followed by the blond who doesn't even try to hide his laughter "Maybe the throw was a little crooked, Shidou" says the french kid, looking up at the other "If that's the result, the throw was perfect!" he says laughing. You stay on the floor, this time sitting up while you rub your aching head while listening to the bullshit Shudou says
"Oh no, ma mère, are you going to die?" Charles says smiling at you, and even though you're still in pain you can't help but laugh a little at his comment "I don't think so, Charles. I'd rather someone else die" you say looking up, and immediately the little one starts laughing, but it's not the same for Ryusei, who looks down at you "I guess you're the funny one in your family" he says with a raised eyebrow "Oh trust me, I am. I don't think I can say the same about you. Months after you've been here, you still suck at making people laugh" you say, and the child's laughter becomes louder as Shidou unexpectedly offers you a hand to stand up. You were confused "Huh?" you mutter "I may not be funny, but I'm still a gentleman" he says, and from the tone of his voice it sounds damn sure. You stare at his hand for a while, before deciding that sooner or later you'll have to get up off the ground if you don't want to stay here forever. You're about to grab his hand when he removes it, putting both of them in the pockets of his track pants as he starts walking towards the exit of the infield "I'm kidding. Not that I care about manners so suddenly"
"Oh, fuck you bastard!" you say, getting up from the ground by yourself, while he has already made his way to the exit. You hear him laugh at your comment, as he raises his hand, still with his back to you, waving it "See you, family!" he says in a friendly tone, and this only makes your blood boil even more in your veins
"Mère and Dad are arguing" Charles says, looking at you amused with the usual sharp tooth sticking out of his mouth. You turn to him with a huff, picking up your notebook on the floor before going back to sit on the bench "Let's continue"
βββ SECOND
"You should seriously stop eating this crap" you tell the boy, whose mouth is completely full of the pink substance "It's not my problem if you don't like it" he says, continuing to gorge on inordinate amounts of the dessert. The cafeteria is almost completely empty, except for a few other boys from PxG who are sitting in silence eating. Charles always eats sweets before going to sleep, and for a few days now he's been obsessed with a strawberry jelly of who knows what off brand. You take a sip of your tea, ignoring the kid who continues to dirty his tray. It's almost 10pm and you're tired too, today has been a particularly tiring day due to your commitments: between various training sessions and Ego who asked you at least ten times to clean the team's locker room, you've had little time to rest. And you were so damn sleepy, but you knew Charles would keep you awake even past the time he was, technically, supposed to go to his dorm to rest
As the minutes pass, the cafeteria empties. Now there are only you and the boy left, who is on his third helping of his dessert
"I think that's enough" you say taking the container from his hands, throwing it in the bin at the side of your table. You see Charles's face go white, as if you had just told him he can't play soccer "What did you just do?!" he says in shock, moving to put a hand in the bin, probably to get the rest of the portion. You look at him disgusted, taking it from his shirt to lift it up "Take that thing back and I swear tomorrow I'll ask Loki to let you train with him for a whole week"
"You really wouldn't do that. You love me too much, right ma mère?"
"I have to educate you like a mother too, don't I?"
"LEAVE ME ALONE" the kid says kicking, and you let him go because of your tiredness. You watch him tiredly as he runs towards the exit of the cafeteria, rubbing your eyes from tiredness "Charles, come back here-" you say walking towards his direction, but are surprised when you hear someone fall. You walk towards the corridor, where you see Charles on the ground and, in front of him, Shidou on the ground too
With a hint of surprise you notice how, unlike always, Shidou's hair is down instead of straight up. Blonde and pink locks fall over his face, and looking further down you notice that he, like Charles, is not wearing his usual uniform, replaced instead by a gray tank top and blue pajama pants, provided by the Blue Lock. You can't say he's not a good looking, but that's not exactly the context in which you would say that
"Ooouch" the boy says, rubbing his head, probably in pain "Oh! Shidou?" he continues, noticing the boy "I was just looking for you" the boy says, then looks up at you, smiling cheekily "You always have your mommy with you, huh?"
You glare at him, bending down to Charles' height "You okay?" you ask, and he nods "I'd be better off with the pudding still in my hands" he says, and you snort in his face, making him laugh. Shidou looks at you confused, tilting his head "What do you mean?" he asks curiously, and as much as you don't want to explain, Charles is the one who immediately takes care of answering him "She threw a whole pudding in the trash!" he says offended, and you pull his ear "It wasn't a whole pudding, there were barely two spoonfuls left to finish it! And besides, it's not good for you to eat it" you say as if to scold him, and this time too the french kid laughs. Shidou watches you, getting back on your feet and then offering a hand to Charles to get back on his feet. He offers his hand to you too, but you avoid being teased this time too and get up on your own
"You mean the pink shit Ego always puts next to the cutlery?" the boy asks, putting his hands in his pockets. Charles nods frantically "That. You've tried it too, right? It's damn good, in France we don't have-" he says, but Shidou cuts him off "That sucks" he says in a disgusted tone, making you raise your face because you wouldn't have expected a sign of collaboration
"See? If Shidou tells you that too, you should really let that shit go" you say, nodding, ruffling the boy's hair "If you say so..." he says, now defeated. You laugh internally at seeing him so saddened by something like that, but you notice how Ryusei is also holding back a laugh
Your eyes meet for a few seconds, and soon neither of you can help but laugh. Charles looks at you in confusion as you laugh, but then suddenly a genius seems to pass through his mind, "You guys are getting along great!" he says emotionally, probably because of seeing you almost always insult each other. You immediately stop laughing, tugging on his ear again βDonβt talk nonsense. Now go to sleep!β you say, and he grumbles a bit before heading off to his dorm
You and Shidou remain in the empty hallway. You look down, while he has no qualms about staring at you brazenly: typical of him, he has never felt ashamed of anything, and you don't think he'll ever start. You stare at the floor for a bit too long, to the point of looking up "You were looking for Charles earlier, weren't you?" you ask crossing your arms. He seems to think about it "Yeah. But I don't think I need it anymore" he says, but the way he says it makes you curious "What did you need?" you ask, and he puts a hand on the back of his neck "I usually ask Karasu to help me dry my hair, but he went to practice. I wanted to ask Charles but he went to sleep, from what I understand" he says
Why are you thinking what you're thinking. What the fuck is going on with you to even think about asking him?. You should seriously visit a specialist, because it is impossible that just seeing him like this has given you all this courage, so much so that it overshadows the hatred you feel for him
"What if I helped you?"
βββ THIRD
You shake your hand through the boy's hair, trying to see where it's still wet. The pink strands seem more faded now that they're in front of you, and you wonder when the last time he got his signature pink color was. You don't even know how you ended up in this situation, even though you explicitly asked to help him
Maybe you missed the feeling of being close to him, but admitting it would be like a defeat for yourself. So, inside, you say that it was just a kind act in a moment of kindness. And then, Shidou is surely going through a moment of simple kindness too: according to your reasoning, he should hate you too. This is just a moment of pause between the two of you, and when you're done, everything will be the same as before: just people who can't stand each other, linked by Charles exclusively as divorced parents
"Aren't you tired?" he asks, after a long time of being silent; tired? You could literally lie down on the floor right now and fall asleep immediately "No. I'm not" you say, because admitting it would be like handing him the fact that you have a limit on a silver platter. He chuckles to himself, but you don't bother asking yourself why: after all, he's Shidou, he does a lot of things for no reason behind it. The sound of the hair dryer echoes in the boy's room for a while longer, until you feel his hair finally dry. You indulge a little in touching it, because it is definitely softer than you ever imagined. Shidou gets up from the chair, walks towards the mirror and you watch him as he touches his hair, perhaps to check it. Next to his bed you notice a hair gel lotion, probably used for the usual hairstyle. "The pink streaks have faded a bit" you say, looking at him from a distance. This time it's you who speaks, and he turns to look at you for a few seconds, then looks at himself in the mirror again "I know"
You don't know why, but asking him seems like you've opened a conversation that you have to conclude. It's strange, because you have this impression with him since he was moved to the opposing team
"Aren't you going to get your hair colored again? Aren't you going to ask Anri for the dye?" you ask, getting closer, but you immediately stop, still keeping a little distance "I haven't gotten my hair colored in a while, maybe since before the game against Blue Lock"
Your heart skips a beat. If it's like he says, he hasn't had his hair dyed since you stopped doing it. It had become a habit of yours, after all
"I see" you stammer, suddenly feeling cramped in the large room "I think I'll go to my room" you say, and you scurry toward the exit door. Your cheeks are itchy with redness, and damn, why did you suddenly have this fucking reaction? He probably didn't do it again because he's busy with NEL games, you should consider yourself less important in other people's lives.
You walk down the empty hallway towards your room, when you hear Shidou pop out of his door again "Hey" he says, and you stop without turning around "What?" you ask "Do you like more my hair down or up?" he asks
"Down" you say
"I get it. See you, mother of the child"
Damn, he hadn't lost a bit of that side he knew made your knees weak. Fuck you, Shidou Ryusei
βββ FOURTH
The folder in your hands is probably begging for mercy because of how tightly you're gripping it. NEL games always excite you, but watching the two current strongest teams clash is almost legendary. PxG has finally found a worthy opponent, who is giving them quite a few problems despite having some complete geniuses in their team: Rin Itoshi, Charles, Karasu Tabito... and, as much as I hated to admit it, Shidou himself was one of the strongest
"Are you sure the current formation is okay? Having Itoshi Rin so far forward could be a disadvantage for the defense" you say without taking your eyes off the game. Loki shakes his head, sitting next to you "The further back that boy is, the better. He must become a monster" he says confidently, and you can only accept his words and stay silent. The typical passages between Charles and Shidou begin, and from afar you can't help but admire them: even though they met for the first time months ago, they had a really efficient chemical reaction, something that not even other players have managed to have with the other external players
From a distance, they really do seem to have a relationship that goes beyond trust. Maybe not quite father and son, but more like older brother and younger brother. But by now, the idea of Shidou being Charles' father figure is so ingrained in your mind that the boy himself admits it from time to time. On the one hand, however, you are happy that the person who chose the blond is Ryusei. He is wild, loud, and outspoken. Charles is the same, and he needed someone who could understand him besides you, who however played more of a role in calming him down when he was at his best. If you and Shidou weren't in such a strange relationship, maybe you could have all spent more time together with Charles
The ball goes up in the air, Raichi Jingo of Bastard Munchen jumps to catch it. Shidou does the same, ending up bumping forehead to forehead with the other player. They both fall to the ground, and you immediately understand what is about to happen. Damn, him and his temper
"Don't even try" you say, walking briskly into the field. Shidou with an annoyed face has just gotten up from the ground, and from the way he moves you understand that he wants to grab Raichi by the collar and probably punch him. He notices you when you get closer, moving his hands away from where they were about to go, at the boy's neck "Huh?" he asks perplexed, as if he doesn't know
You don't even know why you're doing it, but when you heard the referee's whistle you relived a scene you've already seen. The last time something like this happened Shidou ended up playing against Blue Lock, and your relationship was ruined. It's like watching a movie on loop, but this time you want to change it
"If you punch him you'll get a red card, and you'll be lock off. Think about it, because I don't think you want to be" you say with a serious face, but with a hint of masked pity "You know too that you are at risk here, please don't make the same mistake from months ago" you say, and he seems seriously in difficulty in front of your words
"Why do you do this?" he asks, and you can't help but feel a little awkward. You don't want to tell him you're doing it because it would hurt to see him go away from you again, because you would still have to pretend to hate him even though you know you don't, and that it's just a way of putting it into practice because of his behavior since he came back, which has made you feel bad
"Because the team needs you. You have to stay here" you say, masking your words. Shidou sighs, looks at you, Raichi, then back at you; he walks away, returning to his starting position. You breathe a sigh of relief, and as you walk back to the bench you hear the whistle that signals the continuation of the match
You walk for a nanosecond next to Charles, who doesn't even look at you; but his words reach straight to your ears
"Evidently only ma mère can handle that demon"
βββ FIFTH
The boy's calm breathing makes you smile almost spontaneously: seeing Charles so calm is strange, but satisfying. The little thread of drool that stains the pillow makes the scene even more tender than it already is, and your heart hurts a little to think that these are the last hours you spend with him. Because yes, tomorrow Charles will leave
The match ended with the teams drawing, which made both teams the two strongest in the NEL, which officially, has ended. From tomorrow the Blue Lock boys will have 6 weeks off and the foreign players will return home, to their countries so far away. Charles will return to France, to his home, with his real mother and his real father
From tomorrow, you will no longer have the usual annoying blond who calls you for everything, who always seeks your attention, who loves to be chased by you, who only listens to you, or almost. From tomorrow, the corridors of the french section will no longer have the laughter of the members and the smell of their bodies. From tomorrow, one of the most important chapters of your life will close
"Look, you can go to your room if you're sleepy. I don't think you can talk to Charles anymore even if you wanted to" says Shidou, sitting on the bed next to the blond boy "Don't worry" you say
Sitting on the boy's bed, you gently caress his head. After the game he specifically asked to spend the evening with both you and Shidou, and unable to refuse, you ended up in his dorm to spend the last hours with him. You had dinner together with some street food that you had brought from outside, making the boy happy
There is an awkward silence between you, while Charles snores lightly. Today's scene is still between you, which seems like yet another thing you have to conclude between you but which remains suspended in the air, like everything
Between you, everything started but never ended. You had started a relationship that never reached a decisive point because of his move to the U-20 team. You had started to have too much confidence between you, compared to everyone else. You had started, or rather, you had started, to believe that maybe with Ryusei it wasn't just friendship. But none of this was concluded, without a definitive answer
βFuckβ you say, your thoughts feeling a little too heavy for a moment like this, which should be focused solely on the fact that Charles wonβt be here soon. You almost casually run your hand over your cheeks, finding them wet. Why? What?
"What the fuck is going on?" Shidou asks from the other bed, looking at your tears that haven't gone unnoticed. You look up, then look down almost immediately. You remain silent, even though you can still feel the tears silently falling
βI asked you what the fuck is going onβ the boy asks again, getting up from the bed to sit on the floor next to Charlesβ bed, his face inches from your knees. You donβt dare say anything, continuing to text the boyβs head as if you werenβt crying. It's just that everything that revolves around your relationship now seems to weigh more than it has in the past few months
βYou say that like you care" you say proudly, sniffling as you glance over Charlesβ sleeping face. βWhatβs wrong with you?β he huffs, resting his cheek against your knee βDonβt you think I should say it? Oh no, you rightly donβt give a shit. I donβt think youβve ever actually cared, so I donβt see why you should start now all of a suddenβ you roll your eyes, and for the first time you find yourself seriously explaining to him whatβs been on your mind since this whole situation began
"I seriously don't know what's wrong with you, since I left you've become a different person" Shidou says sighing, and just hearing him speak makes you want to bang his head against the wall until he bleeds: how stupid must he be to not have understood that you're like this because of him?. Where is the Shidou who was always explosive with you but with a touch more affection than the others? What happened to the one you thought you seriously had a crush on?
Where did go the Shidou Ryusei you knew?
"Shit, I really don't know why I'm reacting like this. It's something I'm used to now and maybe thinking that tomorrow Charles will leave I've become more sensitive..." you say laughing sarcastically, even though you still have tears on your cheeks. The blond doesn't answer, continuing to remain a few inches from your leg while the only noise is the light snoring of the boy. "Can I ask you something?" the boy suddenly says, and you look at him a little perplexed. You nod. After all, they will be the same things you have already heard, the same ones he repeats to you so as not to make the strange situation between the two of you seem so obvious
"Can you talk to me honestly for a minute? Really, I need to know what's going on in your mind. I have my own thoughts, but I don't know yours" he says in one breath "because, let's be clear, we both know we don't talk to each other like we used to" he says, resting his mind on your knee, closing the distance that had been separating you for a few minutes now. You swallow a lump of saliva that is more bitter than usual, sighing and not knowing if you really want to talk
But you have to try. It's a 50-50 job, after all
"It's just... damn, I don't even know how to explain it to you in normal terms, because I don't even know how to explain it to myself. I just know that at some point you took another path and I continued on mine, but evidently you lack that path, because you've changed... changed too much, you're not the one I knew, or at least to me. You're still Shidou Ryusei to everyone in the Blue Lock, but to me? Why do we seem like two strangers, if you never treated me like a stranger before the match with the U-20?"
And finally, a part of your heart seems to have the ability to talk to the person directly concerned about everything that has been going through your mind for months. You speak, and each word seems to come out lighter than the last. Shidou looks at you, not daring to interrupt. He looks straight into your eyes, his pinks clashing with yours; itβs a gesture youβve done a million times before, but why does it seem more human now? Maybe because youβre talking about something important again after months of silence?
"I think it was a situation mainly generated by the rivalry, well it's obvious, you remain a Blue Lock staffer and at the time I was a striker of an enemy team" says Shidou, his calm tone betrayed by a hint of uncertainty "It was natural to do what I did when I came back. On the field it's different, they can't judge me for my personality, but with you I don't kick a ball, and that's the problem" he admits, his gaze now focused on Charles "A problem?" you ask, widening your eyes, a little perplexed by his words "It's a problem. I don't care if that fanatic Rin Itoshi calls me 'bastard' during a game, or if Karasu doesn't pass me the ball in an assist, we're on the field. There's not always a field under my feet, especially when I'm talking to you who are like a bomb that's about to explode, because of me" he continue the conversation, and you start to connect some pieces of the puzzle that is slowly being put before your eyes
Maybe the situation is really deeper than you expected from someone like him. Maybe there really is something that was done by him just for a sensible reason, but just maybe
"What are you trying to tell me?" you say directly, and you see him laugh, almost sarcastically "Oh no, I won't say that out loud. Forget it" he says. "Ryusei, please" you say, practically begging him, and his resolve seems to waver "Shit, what am I supposed to tell you, what do I care what you think of me? That I seriously had a problem with how you were going to judge me after I came back from the match? Do you understand now?"
You would like to ask him to repeat the words, saying that you didn't understand them well, but you would be lying. His words, clear and strong, have arrived so directly in your ears that you suspect he is lying, because he is absolutely not the type to say things like that. Shidou Ryusei basically admitted that he cared about your judgment? He, who has nothing in the world to care about but himself?. "Oh" you just say, not finding the right words to say what you think, because it's too much even for you who are used to having discussions like that. Shidou looks at you, and noticing your embarrassment he lets out a light laugh "Oh? Oh, okay. Continue to pretend that I haven't practically exposed the most intimate part of myself to you" he says tilting his head, resting his cheek on your thigh
"No! It's just- shit, it's more complex than I could have imagined" you say, running a hand through your hair, trying to calm yourself. You hear a light chuckle coming from the boy's direction "I'll pretend to understand. I just need to know that you hate me a little less now, or at least I hope so" he says confidently, and this time it's you who interrupts him "It's not that I hate you, I don't think I ever have actually. It's just that being pushed into a corner hurt more than it should have" you admit, feeling a little embarrassed to tell him so freely. This time he is the one who is left speechless, even though he tries to maintain the usual facade of calm. You look at each other, maybe for minutes; it seems as if, slowly, everything is having a logical thread that was missing for both of you to understand the situation completely
"Honestly, I don't want to give Charles divorced parents" Shidou says, and you laugh lightly at his joke, mentally thanking him for at least trying to make the situation lighter. "I don't think he ever had them. All parents fight" you say, returning your gaze to Charles, in the dream world; out of the corner of your eye you notice how Shidou is looking at him too, and by doing so you really do seem like a family. "Yeah. All parents fight" he repeats, and the silence that is created between you this time is decidedly less tense
"They fight because they love each other" Shidou adds, and you're a little taken aback by his statement, even though it sounds so damn innocent. But like this, in the situation you're in, he doesn't exactly play an innocent role. You sigh, moving your hand through his hair, caressing it a little uncertainly "Yeah. Because they love each other. In a way only of friendship, at least in our case" add a little hasty, while still feeling your heart beating in a way that is decidedly not just about friendship. What is this boy doing to you?
"No. Because they love each other, stop"
βββ SIXTH
The already soaked handkerchief remains tightly held in your hands, yet you do everything you can not to cry in front of the boy, who for his part is completely calm if not just a little sorry "Don't do that, come on! Don't do that, ma mère" says Charles pulling your already wet cheeks "Stop it. Let me be the childish one between us for once" you say pulling him to you, trapping him in a hug while he continues to laugh. The bus is slowly filling up with all the french members, who will be returning to France in a few hours. You hug Charles, so tightly that it probably takes his breath away. You've grown so fond of him, and thinking that he won't be here this afternoon makes your heart ache. He's really become like your baby, in one way or another
"You don't have to go away and pretend you never met me, okay? You have my number and call me whenever you want, even if it's just to explain what you did in training or to tell me stupid things" you say putting your hands on his shoulders, faces facing each other. You see him nod, smiling "I get it. But you will pay the phone fee for calls overseas" he says, and you roll your eyes pretending to be annoyed, then hug him again. He has to leave, you know that I'm actually already late, but you're waiting. You wait, because you know that Shidou also wants to say goodbye to him. But where the fuck is he?
You look around, and only after a few seconds you feel someone touch your shoulder. You jump, but you see the blond at your side, one arm around your shoulders and one on the kid's shoulders, holding you close "Were you thinking of leaving without saying goodbye to your family?" he says sarcastically, and they both burst out laughing while you look at them smiling, wiping away a tear
"But really, Charles. No matter what, you have me, Shidou, you have us. You're still our little pain in the ass, but we love you" you tell the boy, and you see him smile genuinely for the first time. He nods, scratching his chubby cheek "I know, ma mère. I have a home in France as well as here in Japan, with you two. Don't tell me things I already know" he says, making you laugh. You all look at each other, and the weight of detachment seems to be a little lighter knowing that he knows he always has the two of you. You look at Charles, who suddenly turns towards Shidou "You promised me something. Do it" he says, and you look at them confused "Huh?" you say, but Shidou ignores you and looks at Charles "You'll be the first to know, don't worry about that, kiddo"
Julian Loki calls Charles. You hug for the last time, this time all together, and you say goodbye to him as he gets on the bus, trying to hold back the tears that start to fall spontaneously when the bus finally leaves. He's gone. Charles is gone
With your face even more full of tears you use the handkerchief, but it no longer has any effect. You notice later that Shidou's arm is still around your shoulders, as you walk back into the Blue Lock facility. But it's a nice feeling, with this sadness. You walk until you reach the corridor that separates the street of your room from that of the boys' dormitories, who will also leave the facility this afternoon to finally have some free time. You only now realize that you won't see Shidou for a while, just now that you have clarified
You stop, but you don't let go
βSo...β he begins, keeping the hype high βDo you have anything to do on your weeks off?β
"No. I'm free practically every day"
"I think you have every day busy from now, until you get back here. Busy with me"
βββ SEVENTH
β Charles, your mother is officially back with me. I'll tell you more when you get back here, but just know that I kept my promise to tell her how I feel about her. We miss you, kiddo β 18:09
delivered, not yet read
β I have to say that she kisses well too β 18:09
delivered, not yet read
I finally watched and read Blue Lock and I obviously went on to draw this handsome, active, gay german guy...
(Dan Heng keychain from hsr is the charm!)
Kiss kiss mootsie tootsies
reblog to give ur mutuals a soft lil kissy on the head
now playing: uneasy hearts weigh the most - dance gavin danceπΆ
extra:
noya was so excited to show off his guitar playing skills to his friends that he kept adding unnecessary licks and extra notes to songs
hinata was cheering and screaming so loudly for them he lost his voice the next day
antigun played their new single for them + a few other songs
and then they got distracted by talking to them and it resulted in yn teaching atsumu how to play the guitar
while tsukishima was trying to beat noya up in the background
msby genuinely adore their song and have been planning to ask them if they could use it as their warmup song ever since they heard it
but theyre making sakusa ask for obvious reasons!!
ohhh their concert is coming up...
lets hope things go well
and nothing bad happens!!
hahahaha...
foreshadowing
TAGLIST: @gojoed @anianurst @itsdragonius @sleepy-writer84 @yuminako @wolffmaiden @tenjikusstuff4 @juie13 @ilyless @arachnoia @choizzn @3lectraheart @sugarrhiccupp @bbybibi @diorzs @le000xxgrd @aboveasphodel @petrus1989 @aria-in-wonderland @walllflowerrrsss @wave2mia @loveelylacey @marimisses @alpha-mommy69 @thepurpleempath @theauthorunicorn @v1oletfury @iluvmang @slashkxe @theycallmenanamisgirl @dailyakira
taglist is open! reply or send an ask to be added ^__^
itoshi sae x fem! reader :: bllk socmed au
SUMMARY. After being assigned the task of finding a model for a project, you, a student photographer, have to face the challenging task of approaching and persuading Itoshi Sae, whom you have a crush on, to be your model. Working with Sae is a huge opportunity to add a renowned name to your portfolio. The pressure and responsibility are real, but so is the chance to achieve something great.
TAGS. fluff, crack, slight angst
STATUS. ongoing
PROFILES
shidou's cooking show :: seggsy people and bachira
ΰ§ π· ΰ¨
01 β bad day
02 β interested?
03 β curious
04 β fools are really fun to watch
05 β I'll be in your care
06 β pinned
07 β ghost
08 β it's time
π·οΈ TAGLIST. open!
in which: rin's not happy with your decision to sleep on the couch.
warnings: clichΓ© lol, 1.1k, hurt/comfort, gn!reader, unedited + ooc!rin towards the end, a lot of metaphors but hey one clichΓ© leads to another.
a/n: this is practice for me to a) get back into writing and b) remind u guys that i am still writing luls, enjoy!! reblogs r vv appreciated, but this quality is actually so ass.
βare you sure you want to sleep out here tonight?β rinβs voice asks from the hallway entrance, slight concern laced in his tone as he watches your backside set up on the couch, fidgeting with the pillows and blankets.
βyeah, iβm positive,β you answer, not turning around to look at him; something rin frowns at.Β
βohβ¦β he mutters, leaning awkwardly on the wall as he scours his brain to try and find something to say. βreally?β
βyes, really.β
βwonβt you be uncomfortable?β
βiβll be fine. itβs not that bad here.β
βif youβre sure.β
silence cuts the conversation with a cold knife, leaving the two of you in the suffocating quiet, one that stops rin from instigating further conversation despite how badly he wanted to continue. because if he shuts up then that means he has to leave, but he doesnβt want to leave you alone. he wants you to come to bed so the two of you can sleep peacefully together and not (what feels like) eons apart where he canβt hold you.
βare you going to go to bed? itβs getting late,β you ask, no hint of hostility at all in your tone as you shuffle under the covers, disappearing from rinβs view completely.Β
he bites the inside of his cheek, disheartened at your eagerness to see him go. βoh, right. goodnight.β
he lingers for a second longer, waiting for a βgoodnightβ back, or even better, an βi love youβ, but neither comes and rin feels his chest contract.Β
rin didnβt mean for the argument to escalate, he didnβt mean to sharpen his words and pierce you with them, he didnβt mean to hurt you to the point that you didnβt want to sleep beside him.
as he slowly makes his way to your shared bedroom, your absence on your side of the bed hits him even harder. itβs cold. itβs empty. itβs void. rin loathes it.
youβre not faring much better, replaying the argument in your head over and over again as the small, coffee table lamp illuminates the room with a warm yellow. each replay of the memory just twists the knife further and causes a new batch of tears to wet your eyes.Β
you hate this. you hate feeling weary around rin, you hate feeling like you need to walk on egg shells around him from now on, you hate feeling like he doesnβt value you the same way you do with him, you hate these new revelations coming to your brain as you reflect on your relationship-
βyouβre still awake?β a voice comes from the hallway.
leaning up onto your elbows, you blink in shock at the new figure making itself known. thanks to the lamp, you can see rin from where he stands, and you can see the confusion in his eyes.
βuhβ¦ yeah,β you say.
βwhy are you still up?β
βi was thinking. why are you still up?β
βiβ¦β rin hesitates for a second, βi wanted to check up on you.β
your heart flutters at his shy confession. βiβm fine, thank you.β
βyou sure?β
βyeah.β
βwhy, are you not fine?β
no, heβs not. he wants you to come back to bed, he wants you to reassure him that the two of you will still be okay, he wants you.
βno,β lies rin. βiβm okay.β
the soccer player regrets his words instantly.Β
βthatβs good. iβm gonna sleep now and you should too, you have a big day tomorrow.β
but rin canβt sleep. not without you beside him because otherwise, the bed is too vacant and too chilly and reminds him of the life he used to live too much.
and heβs scared that heβll have to go back to living like that if youβre not there beside him, petrified that youβll leave in the middle of the night because youβve realised that he doesnβt deserve someone as good as you.Β
instead of confessing that, the dark-haired merely sighs, the words lodging themselves in his throat. βokay. iβm off.β
you reach over to turn off the lamp, engulfing the room in darkness with a single click. βgoodnight, rin.β
βi love you,β rin confesses, but itβs too quiet and too breathy for you to hear, so thereβs no response. he hopes you know.
so, he retreats back into the barren wasteland that is your shared bedroom. he misses you. he reaches over to your side in hopes of being to feel some remnants of comfort.
30 minutes later, rin wakes again after weaving in and out of consciousness and heβs sick of it. itβs 1:10am and he only has five hours until he needs to get up. decisively, he throws the cover off of him and makes his way to the living room, intent on this trip being his last one.Β
itβs dark in the living room and rin canβt find it in him to turn on a light and disturb your slumber, so after adjusting to the dark and mindlessly patting around, he eventually threads his arms underneath you. he lifts you up so effortlessly, driven by determination and love as he walks to familiar path back to your shared bedroom.
he settles you down gently and the last thing rin remembers before drifting off is the warming feeling of content as he pulls you into his arms.Β
the following morning, you rouse to the sound of a blaring alarm; the one rin always uses because otherwise gentle alarms wonβt coax him successfully. your lover shuffles beside you, shutting the clock off with a groan before wrapping an arm around you again, pulling you into his warmth.
wait.
you raise yourself up onto your elbows, dazed and confused. werenβt you meant to be on the couch?
βdonβt go,β rin murmurs, snaking his arm up to wrap your shoulders instead, gently guiding you down to the mattress, βsleep.β
βhow did i get here?β you ask and rin stiffens before pulling you in to his chest. βrin, iβm being serious.β
βyou were always here.β
βdonβt lie to me.β
βiβm not lying, so letβs sleep.β
youβre sick of his shit. βitoshi rin, i swear to-β
βi carried you back here, now shut up. i only have 10 minutes before i have to get up and get ready.βΒ
βi think iβll go back to the couch, actually,β you say jokingly.
βnot funny.β
βi think itβs plenty funny.β
he frowns, wrapping himself around you even tighter. you donβt hug him back, but youβre here and thatβs all that matters to rin. you didnβt leave like he thought you would.Β
βiβm sorry,β he whispers, βfor last night. i didnβt mean to hurt you.β
βitβs okay, rin, we can talk about it later.βΒ
βweβre okay right?βΒ
βof course.β
βyouβ¦ you wonβt leave. right?β
βi would never. why would you think i would?βΒ
βjust being stupid, i guess.β
βbetter you than me.β
he huffs, letting the conversation die to silence.
you speak up again, βi love you.βΒ
rin feels a weight lift off his shoulders. he can breathe again.
βi love you more.βΒ
Β© EARTHTOOZ 2023, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
ππππππππ πππππ ππππ ππ πππ
summary: michael kaiser is a coward who needs a little incentive to finally confess his feelings towards you.
tags: f!reader, roommates to lovers, fluff, falling in love, kissing (more like, making out), jealousy, mutual pinning, possessive kaiser.
wc: 1.7k
notes: i do not know what possessed me into writing this, but man, it needs to do it again.
something you've realized early on in your friendship with kaiser is that he's a coward.
he hates spiders, makes you throw the trash out at night, and screams whenever something falls out of its place because he thinks the apartment is haunted.
in the year that you've spent as his roommate, you've come to terms with it. he's nice, cleans his dishes, and helps with the laundry. he keeps the noise down to a minimum and cooks you breakfast when he isn't preoccupied with practice.
another perk of living with him is the fact that he buys you things, expensive things. perfume. flowers. the dress you were eyeing online. your favorite snacks. a limited edition plushy you've been wanting since forever.
anything.
you realized early on that michael kaiser is rude to other people, scoffing and smirking as if he's above everyone else. he mutters comments about them under his breath, thinking you can't hear. he bosses people around, looking at them like they're ants. a waste of his time.
he isn't like that with you.
for one, he's sweet. if the gift giving isn't enough, he goes out of his way to seek you out after his matches. he asks for massages, for small pecks and fleeting touches. he video calls you when he's away, never forgetting to wish you a good morning and sweet dreams through voice notes. all with a grin on his lips.
you aren't blind. you know those are his ways of expressing affection. you just wish he'd finally man up and admit his feelings.
"so, how was the date?"
kaiser's sitting on the couch of your living room, remote control in hand as he stares at the tv, some random soccer match showing across the screen. his hair is wet, and he's got his glasses on. his posture is relaxed, seemingly nonchalant as he asks the question.
you know him enough to see him gritting his teeth even through his bored expression.
"good evening to you too," you laugh, airy as you take off your heels. putting them next to the door, you drop your keys in the sage bowl, letting them clink against his. "have dinner yet?"
leaning against the door, you can see the fine lines of his shoulder tense. the kaiser you're used to is a show pony, the person sitting on your couch isn't. he almost looks like a stranger with his neutral expression and bored eyes. such a difference to the guy who usually comes running whenever you walk through the entrance.
"i ordered takeout." he motions to the plates littered around him, pointing at the fridge. "i saved you some of your favorites."
internally, you flutter. happy to know that the kaiser you know, and love, isn't completely gone.
"thank you, that's very sweet of you."
he's adamant on keeping his eyes off you and on the screen, his shoulders becoming even more tense as you open your arms wide.
"no hug for today?" there's a hopeful smile on your lips as you say the words. happy to finally have everything the way they should be.
only to be shut down with a single side eye from him.
"what?" he asks lowly, almost conceding in his words. almost like your presence bothers him, like all those other people do. like you aren't special to him anymore. "did your date dump you? and now you're looking to me for comfort?"
the words are icy, and he gives no room for rebuttals. not when he looks at you with a quirked eyebrow and a cocky smirk.
it's the first time he's used his persona on you. one he uses to hide away from the world. you decide that you hate it.
"no. actually, he was sweet," you bite back, glaring when you decide that enough is enough. "asked to hold my hand and carry me on his back."
you watch as his face darkens, his eyes clouding over until you can't recognize the pretty blue color they usually spark in. you're riling him up, making him angry. and it's working.
"why? jealous?"
it's the question you've been dying to ask for months now. he flirts like you're more than friends, buys you gifts like you're something special to him, shuts down every time you go on a date with someone that isn't him.
but when it comes down to it, you not his to have. not when he's too much of a coward to do anything about it.
"and if i am?" his words surprise you. it's the first time he's come close to revealing his true feelings in months. they're said with an underlying tone of anger, jealousy, and possessiveness. like you're already his and no one else's. "what's it to you?"
"oh, you know, just happy you're finally being a man and talking about your feelings."
you shouldn't have said that. with the way his eyes are practically glaring, you don't know what else to say. you look up when he stands, practically looming as he stalks to you.
"you're so-"
his words are interrupted by his cursing. he glares down at you, pushing his hand next to your head, pining you against the door. you gulp, watching as he practically shakes in anger.
"du machst mich wahnsinnig, liebling. ich glaube nicht, dass ich mich zurΓΌckhalten kann, wenn du weiterhin so eine gΓΆre bist."
translation: you're driving me mad, darling. i don't think i can hold back if you continue to be such a brat.
"he even asked to kiss me too," you say, your voice trembling under his dark gaze. your sweet and funny roommate is gone, replaced by the man you see in front of you. your heart is pounding against your chest, in both fear and excitement for what he'll do when you finally push him off the edge. "he-"
kaiser surges down, cutting your sentence off with a kiss.
your eyes widen when your head hits the door from his force. a shiver running down your spine when he lifts a hand, placing it on the back of your head, gently caressing the area. closing your eyes, you wrap your arms around his shoulder, kissing him back with just as much fervor.
he relaxes at that, pulling back slightly only to swoop back in, keeping you in his arms for as long as he wants. by the time he finally breaks the kiss, you're both leaning against each other.
you've never seen his eyes as happy as they are now.
"ich bin mir sicher, dass ich besser kΓΌsse als er," he says, smug as he takes in the way you're panting. he chuckles, placing his hands on the side of your neck to pull you into another kiss. "richtig, liebling?"
translation: i'm sure i kiss better than he does. right, darling?
"i don't know what you're saying but yes. okay. sure." you nod, head still hazy as his hands start to stroke your cheek. "if it's something bad, then no."
he chuckles, placing a kiss on the corner of your lips. he keeps you rooted in your spot, his eyes darting back between your eyes and your lips. "you're mine now, yeah? no one else gets to kiss you the way i did."
"about time," you say with a roll of your eyes when your breathing finally settles. you play with the hair around his shoulder, slightly tugging at the strands. "it went awful, by the way. he made me walk 3 kilometers because his car broke down."
his hands stop, freezing as he looks at you incredulously. "but you said-"
"i lied," you say with a cheeky grin. you lift yourself onto your tiptoes, placing a kiss on his cheek as an apology. "just wanted to see how you'd react."
you giggle when he groans, letting him settle in the crook of your neck. "you little minx. next time, call me. i'll pick you up and drop you off."
there's the kaiser you know and love.
"mihya." the nickname is odd on your lips, new and completely unrefined. you watch as he perks up, his eyes practically shining as he looks down at you. guess you'll just have to use the nickname on him more often from now on. "you're a terrible driver. you'd be picking me up at the mall and dropping us off at the gates of heaven."
"well, at least that means an angel will finally return home."
you smack his shoulder for that.
bonus:
you're walking down the stairs of your university a few weeks later, laughing at something your friend said when the sound of squealing fills your ears.
a sleek black lamborghini sits right in front of you.
you blink, taking in the over-the-top showcase before your eyes land on the figure right beside it. you snort as kaiser winks at you from his spot, still taking his time to soak up the limelight.
"did you have to come all the way here to be a showoff?" you greet him with a kiss to his cheek that kaiser visibly grins at.
ever since getting together, he's been hogging you all to himself. he insists on driving you to and from wherever you need because your time together is worth everything to him. "you are so petty. making sure no one even thinks of asking me out on another date?"
"you like it." the way he says it is breathless, like it's a secret he's been keeping to himself for a long time. "you like me."
who knew michael kaiser turned out to be such a corny romantic?
you snort, tugging him into the car before he makes any more of a scene. "i do."
he grins at that, revving the engine as loud as he can, smirking when a group of freshmen cheer and wave to him from behind the car.
"good." he takes your hand, placing a kiss on the knuckles. he holds it as he backs out of the university and into the open street. "be prepared because i'm about to spoil you even more."
βdid you hear? nmakii hit 700!β ββ¦oh itβs also almost valentines.β
β happy valentines!! i got inspired by my schoolβs play and immediately had to do this UGHHHH so good
instruction manual:
pick a blue lock character + a disney princess!
send it in as a request
thats it. i didnt know what else to put here
i mean maybe hopefully well known princesses cause im ngl idk some stories like the story of the black cauldron
queue:
something there β itoshi s. x beauty and the beast
kiss the girl β bachira m. x the little mermaid
an endless diamond sky β kaiser m. x aladdin
once upon a dream β itoshi r. x sleeping beauty
a girl worth fighting for! β itoshi r. x mulan
now that i see you β chigiri h. x tangled
one jump ahead β mikage r. x aladdin
honor to us all β itoshi s. x mulan
tale as old as time β isagi y. x beauty and the beast
when weβre human β kaiser m. x princess and the frogοΏΌ
so this is love? β karasu t. x cinderella
for the one i love β yukimiya k. x snow white
one love, only for you β ness a. x snow white
as the sun will rise β kaiser m. x beauty and the beast
make a man out of you? β chigiri h. x mulan
the gift of song β niko i. x sleeping beauty
lavender blue β hiori y. x cinderella