I Actually Can't Stop Thinking About How The Losing Party Last Election Dressed Like Vikings And Tried

I actually can't stop thinking about how the losing party last election dressed like vikings and tried to break into the white house and the losing party this election are sharing suicide prevention hotlines

On The Naughty List

Emmett x Y/N from Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

“Ok, guys, go and get your sleds out of the garage. Dad’s gonna take you sledding with your cousins and Uncle Greg after hockey practice.”

Y/N was checking the progress of the final sheet of Christmas cookies in the oven as she spoke to Henry and Max over her shoulder. As she turned around, she noticed the large smattering of flour on Max’s forehead, and her smile only widened more when she locked eyes with Henry right as he was licking the last of the frosting off the spatula. She couldn’t help but laugh as his cheeks turned red at being caught.

“You better hope there’s still enough of that left in the other bowl, mister,” Y/N said, pretending to be stern.

“There is; I checked!” he replied, still looking guilty.

Smiling again, Y/N walked around the island after setting the oven mitts down, stopping in front of the boys. As she looked down at Henry and lifted a corner of her apron to his face to wipe some stray frosting off the corner of his lip, he spoke again.

“Can we go over to Aunt Stacy’s after sledding?” he asked as he looked up at Y/N. “Connor got the newest Minecraft game for St. Nick’s Day and he said we can play it with him and Nate.”

“You’ll have to ask Uncle Greg when you see him,” Y/N replied, releasing her gentle grasp on Henry’s chin after wiping his lip clean. “Aunt Stacy and I are taking Sadie and Morgan with us to the mall, and you guys will probably get back before we do."

"Ok," Henry replied.

After cleaning up Henry, Y/N moved over to wipe the flour off Max's forehead, and then she began brushing the stray sprinkles on the counter into her hand, shaking them out into the sink. As she did, she heard the garage door opening, signaling Emmett's return from work. Despite it being Saturday, he'd had to run over to the shop and switch out a car battery for a customer.

"Dad's back, so you better hurry," Y/N said to the boys as she turned around from the sink. Then, just as she finished, Sadie could be heard babbling loudly from upstairs, having awoken from her nap.

"Max, how about you go and get the sleds?" Y/N continued. "Henry, honey, can you go up and get Sadie? I've gotta take these cookies out of the oven."

The boys agreed to their respective tasks, and Y/N turned to the oven as the back door opened. Nearly colliding with Max on his way to the garage, Emmett then took off his coat and headed into the kitchen to find Y/N slipping her hands into a couple of oven mitts, the smell of the cookies wafting through the house.

"Hey," she said to him in greeting as she quickly met his eyes before turning to the oven. "That took longer than usual. Everything go ok?"

"Yeah," Emmett replied as he stopped at the island and leaned against the counter. "Their battery was totally fried. Had to wait a while for it to cool off before I could replace it."

"Oh, wow, well, good thing it wasn't anything worse," said Y/N. But as she saw Emmett prepare to sit down at the kitchen table, she spoke once more.

"Don't get too comfortable," she warned him as she turned to place the hot cookie sheet on top of a trivet. "The boys are just getting ready to go and then you're meeting up with Greg and the kids at hockey practice, then sledding."

Groaning, Emmett sat down at the table anyways and leaned back in the chair.

"Can't we just skip all of that? Or send them by themselves?" he said, but not really meaning it, and Y/N giggled.

"I warned you that signing them up for hockey was gonna be a pain in the butt," she said, smiling at him. "Weekend practices are always more inconvenient than weeknights."

"Rubbing it in my face isn't helping," Emmett replied jokingly, and Y/N smiled. Removing the oven mitts, she grabbed a cooled cookie from earlier off a platter and walked over to Emmett, stopping between his spread legs and handing him the cookie.

"I'm sorry," she said to him with a smile as she handed him the cookie. "I know it's not easy to deal with when your wife is always right."

Raising an eyebrow and giving her a look, Emmett then reached out and took the cookie from her hand, but instead of eating it, he set it down on the table and then reached out and grabbed Y/N's hips instead, pulling her closer in front of him and holding her there. She squealed in surprise as she reached out and grabbed his shoulders to steady herself.

"Don't push it, princess," he said as he looked up at her.

Giggling again, Y/N lifted a hand to Emmett's head and smoothed back a lock of his hair.

"You should ask Ted to take some of the weekend calls," she said to him, referring to his employee at the shop. "He keeps saying he wouldn't mind, and it doesn't happen that often."

In response, Emmett nodded his head.

"I know. I'm thinking I'm gonna have to. I didn't want to make him do that, but on the days where we already have a lot going on, it'd be helpful. You still meeting up with Stacy at the mall?"

"Yeah, unless you wanna finish up the Christmas shopping and I can take the boys to hockey," Y/N said with a smile, knowing that would be a hard "no" for Emmett. He hated going to the mall, especially when it was crowded during the holiday season.

"That's a hard pass," Emmett said with a shake of his head, and Y/N smiled. "But the next time I wanna sign the boys up for something, change my mind, will you?"

Humming out a laugh, Y/N picked up the cookie Emmett had set down on the table and placed it in front of his mouth, and he took a bite of it before slipping his hands to the back of her waist and pulling her closer. But as he did so, his hands slipped under her shirt slightly, touching her skin, and when he did, she yelped and jumped back.

"God, your hands are freezing!" she said, pulling the hem of her shirt down further and adjusting the apron strings.

"I didn't bother turning the heat on at the shop," Emmett replied.

"You have got to be cold-blooded, I swear," Y/N said as she moved back to the island to start taking the cookies off the baking sheet. "It could be ten below and you'd still say you were too hot."

Smiling as he watched her, Emmett then noted the apron she was wearing — a red one decorated with white lace-edged accents and a fabric belt made to look like a little Mrs. Claus dress. As he watched her for a moment, he couldn't help thinking how sexy she'd look in that and nothing else.

Standing up from the chair, he walked over to the island and stopped behind her, leaning forward and lightly pressing himself into her back as she continued to handle the cookies.

"I'm getting pretty hot right now," Emmett said, the volume of his voice lower as he grabbed Y/N's waist and tugged at the edges of her apron. "This little number's got me thinking certain things. The only problem is you're wearing something underneath it."

Feeling Emmett behind her and hearing the volume and tone of his voice, Y/N smiled to herself as she slowed her movements. Then, setting the spatula down, she turned to face Emmett when he pressed a kiss to her neck.

"Really? A Mrs. Claus apron is what gets you going?" she said to him with an amused smile as she grabbed his upper arms, his hands still on her waist.

"What can I say? It puts me in the holiday spirit," Emmett replied, and he pressed his crotch against hers as he pushed her back against the island.

Giggling, Y/N replied, although she admittedly was getting hot herself.

"Well, you better tell your 'spirit' to cool off, because Max is waiting in the garage and Henry's on his way down with Sadie right now," she said.

Groaning again, Emmett pressed another kiss to Y/N's neck before reluctantly letting her go and backing up, Henry being heard on his way down the stairs with Sadie, who was still babbling happily.

"Don't tuck that away just yet," Emmett said quickly before Henry entered the room, his voice still low and a mischievous look in his eyes as he gestured to her apron.

Smiling and shaking her head with a roll of her eyes, Y/N then turned to move around the island and take Sadie from Henry, preparing to feed her before they left for the mall.

After placing a kiss on Sadie's head, Emmett got ready to leave with the boys, and Y/N gave them each a parting hug as they headed out the door. She and Emmett confirmed that they'd communicate later on about when they'd all get back home, and then they shared a quick kiss before she confirmed with him that they'd decide what to do about dinner once they knew whether or not the boys would be going over to Stacy's.

After strapping Sadie into her carseat and getting behind the wheel, Y/N smiled and shook her head to herself again as she thought of what Emmett had said about the Mrs. Claus apron. But, she had to concede...it actually could be pretty sexy with nothing underneath...

The afternoon had ended up stretching on much longer than either Y/N or Emmett had anticipated. Henry had gotten hurt during practice when his glove had come off when he'd fell and slid across some jagged ice, and he got a pretty gnarly cut on his hand. But he'd still insisted that he wanted to go sledding, and so after being checked out at the first aid station at the ice rink and being bandaged up, Emmett had still taken the boys to meet up with Greg and his boys at the park. By then, it had gotten late enough that they all went to get a bite to eat afterwards, and then he'd followed Greg home to drop Henry and Max off to spend the night with Connor and Nate.

Respectively, Y/N and Stacy had been delayed at the mall with the girls due to it being even busier than they'd anticipated, every store they visited having extremely long lines. They'd also just ended up grabbing a bite while they were out, and with a text from Emmett confirming that the boys were staying at Stacy's for the night, Y/N had proceeded to just immediately begin to put Sadie down for the night upon arriving home.

She heard the garage door opening with Emmett's own arrival home just as she was closing Sadie's bedroom door behind her, and after heading back downstairs, Y/N stepped into the bathroom just as she heard Emmett walk in through the back door.

Entering the house, Emmett removed his coat and boots, and then walked into the kitchen, the smell of cookies still lingering in the air. After quietly calling out for Y/N, she replied to him from the bathroom, saying she'd be right out, and Emmett headed into the living room and exhaustedly dropped himself onto the sofa.

Resting his head back against the cushion, Emmett closed his eyes and relished the peace and quiet as he sat with the room softly illuminated by the lights of the Christmas tree. But after a few moments, he was brought out of it when Y/N quietly called for him from the kitchen.

"Em? Can you come here for a sec? I need your help with something."

Opening his eyes, Emmett stared up at the ceiling and inhaled deeply before lifting his head and standing up. He'd never refuse to do anything for Y/N, but at this point in the evening, he hoped she wasn't going to ask him to start wrapping presents, signing Christmas cards, or anything like that. He was ready to check out for the night.

Upon entering the kitchen, Emmett looked and could see just Y/N's hand gripping the edge of the refrigerator door as she stood behind it, clearly retrieving something from the fridge. As he stopped at the island, Emmett waited for her to tell him whatever it was she needed his help with.

"Can you just help me get all those cookies in the Tupperware?" she asked him from behind the refrigerator door. She outstretched her hand to point to the Tupperware sitting on top of the island, and Emmett replied with a "Sure" before beginning to box up the cookies.

Once she knew he was occupied, Y/N finally stepped out from behind the refrigerator door and closed it, then stepped across the floor in her bare feet to stop across from Emmett at the island. While his head was still down, she spoke again.

"Thanks, babe, I've gotta get those all packaged up to drop off to everyone on Monday." She kept her eyes on Emmett as she spoke, and she waited until he looked up to continue. When he did, she finished. "I'll get you some more parchment paper to line the containers."

As Emmett looked up, it took him a minute to register what was off about what he saw. Y/N was standing across from him at the island in the apron she'd had on earlier, but something was different. After a moment, he realized that her arms were bare beneath it, and when he looked more closely, it almost seemed like she didn't have a shirt on underneath. But he was absolutely not prepared for what he saw after she'd spoken again.

"I'll get you some more parchment paper to line the containers," she said, and as she did, she turned around and lifted her arms up for the cabinet above the stove.

Upon her turning around, Emmett was met with the site of her gorgeous, naked backside beneath the apron, the strings around her neck and waist the only pieces of fabric obstructing his view. As he realized she was completely naked beneath the apron, his heart rate increased and his eyes raked over her, his gaze lowering down her back and landing on the flawless skin and the beautiful, luscious rounds of her gorgeous ass. As she rose on her tiptoes to reach into the cabinet, he caught sight of more of her bare thighs as they came into view from across the island. Once she'd lowered back down with the box of parchment paper in hand, she slowly turned around, and as she did, Emmett could also see the profile of her perfect, plump breasts through the sides of the apron, the front of it barely wide enough to cover her nipples as she turned to fully face him once more. With each second, Emmett registered more and more exactly what was going on, and he could quickly feel his blood rushing south to his cock.

As she stood across the island from Emmett and turned her back to him, Y/N smiled to herself, but maintained a neutral tone as she spoke and took the box out of the cabinet. Upon turning around, which she did with intentional slowness to allow Emmett to take in the sight of her, she continued to behave as if nothing was out of the ordinary, lowering back down to the balls of her feet and setting the parchment paper down on the counter.

"Sorry we're doing this now, but the mall was just so crazy busy that I couldn't get home any earlier," Y/N said, moving to place a few cookies in an empty Tupperware and feeling Emmett's eyes on her, knowing that by now, he'd realized what she was up to. Still, she continued her game. "Luckily, tomorrow, we can just relax."

Emmett still had said nothing, but when she looked up at him and their eyes met, Y/N could see the fire in his gaze.

"Once you finish up that one, can you do one more?" she asked him innocently, and then she looked down again to resume moving some cookies into her own Tupperware. After a moment, she turned around again to give Emmett another view of her ass as she pretended to be reaching for something near the sink.

While her back was still to him, Y/N heard Emmett shift and then begin to slowly walk around his side of the island to hers, all the while remaining silent. After turning back from the sink, she reached for the lid of her Tupperware, still acting completely innocent, when she felt the heat of Emmett's body as he came to a stop directly behind her. Standing there, he still said nothing, but Y/N smiled to herself again as she heard him breathing heavily through his nose, something he always did when he was aroused but trying to maintain his composure.

Unbelievably turned on by the sight of Y/N's naked body beneath that sexy little apron, Emmett's cock was painfully stiff as he made his way over to her. Knowing she was playing this little game and intentionally riling him up, he took his time, moving slowly and remaining silent in order to get Y/N just as worked up as he was. He knew she was expecting a reaction, and he'd give her one, but not without causing a few anticipatory shivers to run through her first. She loved this back and forth between them as much as he did, yet she never learned her lesson, much to both their enjoyment.

Still standing behind her, trying to control his breathing, Emmett continued to hungrily admire Y/N's bare ass for another moment before he finally stepped forward and pressed himself against her, his hardened bulge pressing into her naked ass through his pants. Still, she kept moving as if nothing out of the ordinary was going on, and it wasn't until Emmett reached out from behind her and grabbed her forearms that she finally stilled.

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" he asked her lowly, his voice deep with arousal.

"I'm just finishing off these cookies," she replied, her voice sweetly innocent as she answered him over her shoulder. "Is that a problem?"

Releasing her forearms, Emmett then backed up a step and lowered his hands, bringing them to Y/N's backside and smoothing his palms over her soft, taut skin and relishing the feel of her curves. Squeezing each of her cheeks in his hands, he then leaned forward once more, speaking lowly in her ear as he continued to squeeze and caress her bottom.

"The only problem I see is that you just got bumped off Santa's nice list," Emmett growled, raising his hands upwards and around to Y/N's front, sliding his palms up her torso beneath the apron and coming to a stop at her breasts, cupping each of them in his hands and then pinching her nipples as he finished. "Because what you're up to right now is extremely, extremely naughty."

After he spoke, Emmett massaged Y/N's breasts and thrusted his hips forward into her ass several times, allowing her to feel exactly what she was doing to him. Biting her lip and then smiling to herself, Y/N responded by wiggling back against Emmett's cock, feeling the rough texture of his jeans on her bare bottom. As Emmett then pinched her nipples again, she additionally felt the slickness of her arousal building between her thighs.

"I thought you liked a naughty girl?" Y/N said to him, her tone sensually teasing. And when she felt Emmett lower his hands from her breasts to the strings of the apron tied at the small of her back, her heart skipped a beat.

"Oh, I do," Emmett replied, his voice still dangerously low as he spoke and untied the apron from behind her. "But you see, being put on the naughty list means you don't get any presents. Is that what you want, princess?"

The apron now untied at her back, Emmett raised his hands to her neck and lifted the apron off her, dropping it on the floor and leaving Y/N completely naked before him. When he planted his hands on her waist, she lifted her own hands and laid them atop his, speaking over her shoulder as she wiggled her ass against his cock once more.

"How about just one present?" she said to him, and then she lifted Emmett's hands and placed them on her breasts again. "Even though I'm naughty, there's one present that I really...", she ground against him again, "....really...", she wiggled once more, "...want."

At that, Emmett squeezed her breasts roughly before then dropping his hands and grabbing her hips once more, turning her around to face him, her back pressed against the island.

"You're pushing your luck, princess," Emmett said then, his mouth hovering dangerously close to hers as he spoke. "You're just moving your name higher and higher up on that naughty list."

Y/N smiled seductively and then leaned forward the tiniest bit, bringing her lips in contact with Emmett's as she skimmed them over his mouth teasingly but didn't quite kiss him.

"Well, since I'm already on the list, I may as well make the most of it," she said. Then she lowered her hands to Emmett's waistband and slowly began opening his jeans. "But you didn't answer my question: don't I deserve even one present?"

Lifting his shirt up and over his head, Emmett dropped it blindly to the floor before then helping Y/N push his jeans down his waist and stepping out of them. She then tugged his boxers down and he stepped out of those as well, and Y/N's palm immediately wrapped around Emmett's stiff, warm cock. As she began slowly pumping him in her hand, he answered her.

"I'm gonna give you exactly what you deserve, princess, but trust me when I say that by the time we're done, your name will never be able to get off that list."

Running her thumb over Emmett's tip, she leaned forward and placed a sensual kiss on his neck as he hissed out a breath at her touch.

"Fine by me," Y/N said against his neck, "so long as I get this one present." She stroked him again in emphasis as she spoke, and after she did, Emmett turned her around once more and bent her forward over the island, her ass arched up towards him as he moved her.

Just before he slipped his cock between her wet folds, Emmett leaned forward himself and swept Y/N's hair over her shoulder as he spoke in her ear.

"Lucky for you, my hands are warmer this time."

Being on the naughty list definitely had its advantages.

Wasn’t sure who all to tag for this one, so I kept it pretty minimal. Sorry!

@vervainandspritz @meister95 @teawonderfultea-blog1 @an-eclectic-of-mass-destruction @xsweetcatastrophe

@nyxxie-pooh @beastofburdenxo @toobusyshrimping @hairica @allie131313

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vervainandspritz

6 months ago

Can't wait so badly

The Balls in Our Courts-TommyxOFCxFinn

Pairing: Tommy ShelbyxOFC(Amelia)xFinn Warnings: Please read all of the warning in the tags on Ao3 and pinned post. Underaged themes, abuse-all kinds, sexual themes, time period attitudes and language. Dark!Tommy 100%. Summary:"You see, Amelia," Tommy Shelby said, leaning on his desk, cigarette between his index and thumb. "I own everything under this roof...including you. I always have and always will." Amelia swallowed, her fists clenching in anger. "You made money off of me for years and you've given me nothing!" "I've given you everything you deserved, Amelia." At 15, Amelia Clarke officially exhausted her parents attempts at creating a perfect daughter, and so they shipped her off to England in hopes an old business partner could whip her into shape. Where others saw a nuisance, Tommy saw an opportunity to add to his growing assets. Bad at manners, but exceptional at tennis, Amelia became one of Tommy Shelby's biggest financial gains, and he would do anything to protect it.

This fanfic is on a short hiatus until I freshen up the outline and do some editing. :) Don't worry, I am not abandoning this fanfic. This was the first fanfic I wrote for Peaky Blinders and it is, honestly, my ride or die. <3 Just please be patient.