Vervainandspritz - KEEP QUIET

i wish you a nice sunday, kind parents, good food, long walks and thoughts free of worries. — franz kafka, 1912

you disgusting mentally ill traumatised bitches need to make a group chat and share your RAPE FANTASIES THERE !! I do NOT want to see the result of your fucked up childhood on my screen THANK YOU!! Go wash the sin and built up sweat off of your disgusting bed rotten bodies and go get a fucking life off the internet Good fucking lord

Whatever you say stinky

Thank you so much! 🥹

JUST ANOTHER OF YOUR MISTAKES

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, violence, grieving, a lot of pain, eventual fluff, smut

A/N: thanks for reading guys

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE

~~

Y/N was never a light sleeper, but this particular time waking up felt way more difficult than usual. Her head was hurting from all the crying and the last thing she could remember was Tommy holding her against his chest and the familiar scent of his cologne mixed with his own unique scent before she nodded off, unable to handle the recent events.

“Mrs. Shelby, you're awake” One of the maids spoke up with a gentle smile, putting a steaming tea on the nightstand by her side.

Sitting up, Y/N furrowed her eyebrows in confusion.

“I'm not a Shelby” She responded with more annoyance than she'd like.

“Oh” The older woman said with a hint of shame. “My apologies. Mr. Shelby asked to bring you tea and some pain relief tonic,”

Y/N nodded, thanking her quietly before she rose from the bed, looking around. The room looked familiar in a less than pleasurable way, just like the clothes she was wearing. Sighing deeply she walked out of the room, seeing the dark corridor of the places she once called home.

After getting refreshed and dressed, Y/N walked toward the grand staircase. She stopped cold, feeling goosebumps running through her spine in the worst possible way when she saw the monumental portrait of Thomas and her in the stairwell. One she used to see everyday. The eyes on the portrait looked as lively as ever, mocking the pain she held in her chest every time she saw it. There she was, the former lady of the house, laying claim to her domain even from the grave. The longer she stared at her, the more she felt Grace was taunting her. “You may have been his woman once, but I have his heart and his ring on my finger now.” The words rang in her ears, coming from the depths of her memory, loud as the day she heard them for the first time. Y/N couldn't seem to be able to tear her gaze away, silently battling the ghost that seemed to curse her relationship forever.

She stood there for a long moment, immersed in the painting so much that she didn't realise she was being watched.

Thomas stood in the doorway on the other side of the corridor, watching her silently losing the battle as shame gnawed on his insides. He should have thrown it away long ago, but it was the last thing on his mind as he desperately looked for Y/N everywhere. The dead woman on his wall wasn't a big concern.

“You're awake” He spoke up, unable to handle the silence anymore.

She turned around, almost startled, as he caught her staring at her. The first thing she noticed were the glasses on his nose, and she fought against the little smirk that tried to appear on her lips so badly.

“What am I doing here? Where are the boys?” She asked, straight to the point. Thomas shifted from foot to foot awkwardly, knowing she wouldn't be happy with the news.

“Boys are with Frances upstairs, playing.” He responded, looking her in the eyes. “You're not safe outside of Arrow house. You three need to stay here until the vendetta is over.”

“What if you had more men surrounding my flat instead?” Y/N bargained.

“It’s too dangerous and I need my men concentrated not spread out over cities” he replied, already prepared for the questions he knew she'd ask.

She wanted to argue so badly. Y/N wanted to be free from him and the reminders of the past that this house held. But she knew that receiving a black hand was a serious threat she didn’t have the capacity to handle by herself.

“The only reason I'm not leaving right now is because I need to keep them safe.” She said, stepping closer. “...and if anything happens to us, I want you to know that it's all your fault.”

Despite knowing and seeing the pure hatred in her eyes, Thomas could never fully brace himself for the impact of her words.

“Nothing will happen to any of you. I give you my word” He said, quieter this time.

“Your word means nothing to me, Thomas. Just… just stay away from us as much as possible.” Y/N added, wanting to walk away.

“You can't expect me to stay away. They.. are my kids. My sons.” He said suddenly, and the confidence and fierceness of his voice made her stop in her tracks. “I regret losing you every single day. Every day I grieved the loss of my bloody heart, and then I found out there's three I should have been grieving. But you're here, and so are they. So I won't let yo–them go.” He hissed out, almost frantically and the vulnerability in his eyes made her slightly tremble. It hurt even more, because she waited so long to hear.. anything. Any crumb of reassurance would be enough to keep her here, but he didn't say a fucking word.

Straightening her back, Y/N inhaled a deep breath, looking back at the bloody portrait who was witnessing the whole scene. Seconds later she looked at him again, and the fire in his eyes was more lively, outweighing the dead, judgemental stare.

“They won't call you their father. If you break this rule, you won't see us again.”

***

The next day Y/N woke up, bracing herself for another battle as she walked down the stairs and to her surprise, the portrait was… gone. Her heart thumped wildly at the realisation and she couldn't believe her eyes. Suddenly the tension in the house seemed to have lessened.

Walking to the kitchen, she noticed Thomas sitting by the table with a cup of coffee and a cigarette in his hand, as he read the newspaper. It felt weirdly domesticated and the thought alone made her smirk.

“Did the boys eat?” She asked, not sure what to expect.

“Frances fed them an hour ago. Tommy is napping in the living room, and Nick is picking daisies with Mary in the garden.” He responded in a calm tone, not tearing his gaze away from the newspaper.

Silence hung in the air as they each did their own thing

Finishing up her breakfast, Y/N cleared her throat again as she looked at the wall in front of her.

“The portrait is gone” She pointed out in an emotionless voice, not looking at him. A couple longer moments passed before she heard him exhale a cloud of smoke.

“What portrait? He responded, and Y/N’s lips stretched into a subtle smile before she grabbed her plate and walked away.

A couple days later Y/N still avoided him, occasionally getting to talk to John or Arthur, but both of them were distracted by the giant threat hanging over the family. Polly seemed to keep it together the best, coming over whenever she felt like it for some female company.

Y/N said her goodbyes to Polly, going to put the cups into the sink and cleaning the mess after Nick. She wasn't used to having maids doing everything for her, so it was more comfortable to just clean the mess herself. Nick himself was currently spending time with his uncles by the stables, and Tommy was… who knows where.

After cleaning, Y/N went looking for the other boy, asking Frances who just directed her to the little room where the toys were stored.

She expected everything, but not the view she saw arriving in the doorway. Little Tommy sat back on his legs, watching with wide eyes and furiously colouring the different shapes Thomas drew for him.

“Dat?” Tommy asked suspiciously, pointing towards the crooked flower on the paper and glancing at him with big eyes.

“This?” He asked with a grin, “that's a flower” he explained, to which the boy nodded, narrowing his eyes lightly.

“...and dat?!” He asked suddenly in a squeaky tone, seeing the car Thomas drew for him.

“That's a car. Almost” He chuckled, seeing the crooked shapes as he tried his very best.

Tommy nodded, grinning in the same way as his father before glancing at his mum.

“Hi!” He waved, before pointing to the flower again. “fwowa!” he said proudly, pushing his little chest forward.

Thomas just laughed quietly, putting the pencil down.

“Good job, little man” he said, before slowly rising from the floor with a groan.

“Oh God, I'm too old for this” He whispered with a chuckle, glancing at Y/N who wasn't able to suppress the smile on her face after she heard Tommy talk. “Don't smile like that, now it's your turn.” Thomas added, passing by her in the doorway, his shoulder brushing against hers.

***

The next couple weeks were… rougher. Changretta was relentless in his search, which turned into a couple of seriously dangerous situations where John got shot in the chest barely coming out alive. Polly didn't agree with a lot of Thomas' actions, despite his inability to back off right now. He stood his ground, no matter how difficult it was sometimes to keep Y/N inside Arrow house whenever worse moments would arrive. And they did, fairly frequently.

The pull he felt became stronger and stronger, no matter how many daggers she kept throwing. Spewing the words she held deep inside, reminding him of the monster he used to be… or maybe still was? He couldn't tell. The view in the reflection of his mirror was so blurry, that it didn't matter. As long as she saw him to be fit enough to be around boys.

The house was completely quiet as he made his way through the corridor, lacking the usual sounds of kids playing or Y/N walking from one room to the other. Walking past the library, he caught a glimpse of light coming from the room that made him stop in his tracks.

His hands trembled with anxiety. The fear settled in his ribs over three years ago and hasn't left him once, even though they were here.

Thomas was aware of how powerless he was once the vendetta was over. The thought of them leaving the house and never coming back was making his heart squeeze painfully, reminding him of the privilege he once had, but gave it up willingly. The fear was like a loop, tightening around his throat with each passing day as he grew comfortable coming home and seeing them here.

Walking into the library, Thomas was completely quiet, wanting nothing but to see her if it was all he could count on. He was completely unaware of the fact that she always felt his presence. Sometimes letting him stay, and other times making him leave so desperately that made him wonder whether it was possible to day from a broken heart.

Step after step he tried to control his shallow breathing as he finally saw her. Standing by the big shelf, he traced over the backs of books standing there for so long, it felt like they were always there.

“You wouldn't like that one” He spoke up quietly, noticing how she didn't even budge hearing his voice. It took a longer moment before she replied.

“How so?” Her voice was calm, light-hearted as she found herself lost in the countless stories filling up the wooden shelves. The nagging thoughts in his mind disappeared the second he heard her voice.

“Because you don't like uncertainty. It's filled with unanswered questions and has an open ending.” He thought for a moment before replying, well aware of the content of this book, because he read them all. In the moments of despair, trying to hold onto every scrap of feelings in the house so empty, it felt like nobody lived inside.

Sighing deeply, Y/N put the book back in its place, grabbing another one.

“Nobody likes uncertainty, Thomas. Holding onto the moment, unsure of what's to come.” She sighed, hearing his slow footsteps approaching. “A book is just a book. You can close it, and move onto another one anytime. If only life was just as easy.”

Silence in the room caused the whole scenery to become more intimate, unexpectedly even for him. Stopping mere inches behind her, he watched the back of her head for a moment, remembering the nightmares he had every night. Ones where he couldn't reach her, no matter how he tried.

His breath caught in his throat as he slowly raised his hand, moving it closer and closer towards her shoulder. Inches away, he noticed the goosebumps covering her skin. Without looking he reached out to the shelf, grasping onto the book he knew by heart, while his arm brushed against her own.

He stood close, too close, and Y/N knew it too well, yet she couldn't bring herself to make him leave or pull away. The way he trembled as his chest pressed lightly against her back made her stand still.

“You'd love this one” He whispered, not feeling brave enough to speak loudly. The uncertainty they talked about he knew better than anything else.

Her breathing became heavier, feeling him so close, the tingling on her skin she hadn't felt for so long almost made her flinch. Slowly, she turned around facing him.

This, Thomas didn't expect as she suddenly looked up, their eyes meeting in a gaze long forgotten, yet still alive and lively as when they looked for the first time.

“I don't read anymore” She confessed quietly, and his eyes couldn't help but watch her lips intently. The way they wrapped around the words she spoke.

The urge to grab and hold her closer was strong, almost too strong. Tommy tilted his head to the side, getting a better look at her face in the dim light.

“I can read it to you” He offered quietly, as it was the closest she allowed him to… just be near her.

So he waited, scared of ruining the moment as she moved closer. Their noses brushing against each other.

“I wanted you to speak, not read.” The sound of her voice was like the most beautiful music he ever got to listen to, even though the words were far from it. “...but now it's too late, and you're standing too close.” her breath touched his lips, taunting.

…and then she pulled away, leaving him standing there. Slowly making her way out of the library.

“You're cruel” He said, loud enough for Y/N to hear.

***

Y/N opened her eyes suddenly, sitting up as she took a deep breath, desperately trying to blink away the nightmare she had. The clock showed three AM in the morning, and her heart was pounding from the fear she felt. One she rarely felt anymore, feeling as Thomas was taking it over day by day, despite her unwillingness to share anything. Even the broken, ugly parts he ruined.

His cold eyes kept looking at her in the dream, so unfazed by the idea of her absence. The humiliation turned into physical tears rolling down her cheeks as the memories clouded her reasoning.

Getting up from her bed, she remembered the way he touched her. Avoiding her eyes, throwing his head back. Not bothering to bare himself, so eager to take but never give. Forcing her to pour from a completely empty cup.

Her bare feet were cold against the floor as she quickly made her way through the corridor, knowing where she'd find him. Swiftly opening the door to his office, Y/N didn't bother to say a word or wipe her tears away as she quickly walked up, not looking him in the eyes.

“Y/N?” He asked, taking his glasses off and setting them on his desk while she suddenly pulled him back, creating more space to straddle his lap. Tears kept streaming in a smaller amount, but never ending as she ripped his shirt open, baring his chest.

“What are you–” He tried to speak up, but she didn't let him, as she pressed her lips against his so aggressively his breath caught in his throat.

Pulling on his belt she unbuckled it skillfully, a motion she knew too well from all these years ago. The inner pain burned her chest as she kissed and bit him, while pushing his arms away.

“Shut up” She hissed, as the humiliation from the memories took over her mind. The shame of giving and never asking for more. Of being taken and left without any rest. Pulling his pants open she stroked him impatiently, doing just enough to get him going. It wasn't difficult, as he was the only man she ever slept with, knowing his habits and body more than she'd care to admit.

Her nails raked over his throat and chest, ripping a deep groan from his throat.

He didn't dare to ask, feeling and giving everything she wanted to take. Despite the burning, the physical attraction and need she felt was stronger, her arousal glistening and visible as she lined him up with her entrance, not caring enough to be slow or subtle as she sank down on him fully. A subtle moan pushed past her lips as she squeezed her eyes tightly, doing the same thing he used to.

His eyes were wide open, taking the beautiful sight of her on top of him, but the expression on her face made him hurt so badly, he thought he might not survive. He reached out, wanting her to look at him, but she refused, keeping her eyes squeezed tightly as she moved on top of him frantically chasing her release.

“Y/N” He begged quietly, as her hands wrapped around his throat, squeezing to cause pain.

“I hate you. I hate you so much” She whimpered, as his fingers dug into her thighs.

“Please” He whispered, and she let go of his throat, digging her nails into his shoulders.

Thomas wanted to reach out to wipe her tears away, but he knew she wouldn't let him.

So he leaned forward, his forehead pressing against her collarbone when he let out a shaky breath.

“I love you” He whispered weakly, holding her tightly as she haven't stopped moving even for a second, brimming on the edge.

“I hate you. I fucking hate you” She cried out, opening her eyes as she looked down at him, meeting his gaze. His eyes were half lidded but he didn't give up, staring and repeating like mantra.

“I love you” kept spilling from his lips as she reached her peak, causing him to follow right after as they reached the release.

His head fell forward, tears escaping his tired eyes as she quickly got off of him, leaving him without a word.

***

Y/N was growing increasingly restless inside of the Arrow House. Her days had been filled with reading and finding activities to keep her sons occupied, which took less time than usual, as Thomas took every opportunity to spend time with them. There was one room she had only been in once prior on this visit. She shuddered at the memory of her desperate conflicted intimacy with Thomas. Y/N knew that room would hold a concentrated form of his presence and essence, even more so after that night. She wasn’t sure if she felt strong enough to enter his sanctum again, but while Thomas was away on business and her boys were having their afternoon nap, the curiosity overcame her hesitation as she entered his space.

It was incredibly… him with deep mahogany furnishings and sumptuous emerald accents. During that night, she had paid no attention to the surroundings in the office - only to him and her inner emotions. Slowly she went deeper into his study, turning on a lamp at his desk. She could picture him here with those round glasses on, absorbed in matters of business both legitimate and less so. To the side of his desk was a small curio cabinet filled with antiquities and presumably family mementos. It hardly garnered a second thought from her until she noticed a figurine on the top shelf next to an old photograph of Thomas and his siblings. It was the figurine.

Before the war, before everything changed, she and Thomas would wander around Birmingham together - young and full of optimism. Both their families were poor and doing their best to survive in the cruel world, but they were the dreamers of their respective clans. He and Y/N often visited a certain shop that sold trinkets and collectables. Y/N yearned to be able to spend money on frivolous little objects like these one day. There was a specific figurine that she longed to own: a porcelain ballerina with graceful fingers and a white and pink lace ruffled skirt. She thought ballerinas were the most fairy-like women that walked the Earth. Of course neither of them could afford such a beautifully crafted figurine, but Y/N swore that one day they would walk in that shop and purchase her ballerina without a second thought to the cost.

That never happened, yet here it was, that same figurine she had seen so many years before sitting in Thomas’ curio cabinet in his most sacred space of his home. She didn’t know what it meant, but she felt tears prick her eyes at the reminder of those beautiful days from their youth. If only they could be like that again. If only the war and the turmoil after it hadn’t soured the tender young love they had known.

“I see you found your way back to my study” Thomas’ deep voice called from the doorway. Y/N was startled. She had been so lost in her memories and feelings that she hadn’t noticed his presence. She shifted awkwardly.

“Yeah, it seems like it.” She responded, glancing towards the curio cabinet. He slowly came up closer, a small grin on his face.

“What did you find?” Thomas asked, tilting his head to the side. Of course he knew what she saw, but wanted to hear it.

“I can’t believe you remembered my ballerina” Y/N said, not meeting his gaze.

“I went back to the shop to get it, but old Mr. Jones said he’d sold it years before. It took some hunting, but I eventually found her. I was hoping to someday show it to you, but… seems like you found her instead.”

“Why?” she questioned him in a small voice.

“Because this is how I remember you. You always said the ballerina was like a fairy or goddess come to Earth, but to me… when I saw that ballerina figure, I saw you.” Y/N’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as she glanced back towards the cabinet and then back at the man in front of her. Letting out a deep sigh, she wiped her eyes.

“Why now? Why did it take you so long to… to do this? Anything. I waited so long and… and now it's too late, Thomas.” She said, looking at him with an expression that crushed him. Feeling his breath hitch painfully, he felt his throat tightening. He had grieved over losing her and now that Y/N was physically here, she had never felt more far away from him.

After looking into her eyes for a longer moment, Tommy grabbed her hand, slowly straightening it against his palm while the other one reached to his holster, pulling out his gun. Y/N’s eyes widened, but his gaze remained locked on hers, not faltering.

Finally, he didn't feel the fear. Holding the loaded gun, he slowly shoved it into her smaller hand, aiming it forward before he closed his eyes. Pushing his forehead against the muzzle tightly, keeping her wrist upright.

“Then kill me.” He said out loud, the words hanging in the air for a moment. “Because otherwise I will never let you go, no matter how hard you try.”

Thanks for reading lol bye

@iilovedonnatartt @gentlebeari @narlytude @garrison-girl-08 @chaimaarouaine11 @bruhidkjustwannaread @reiwanwan @immyowndefender @jbrownta @honeymoon8

@dannysankletattoo

After Hours

Part 13

Previous part here

…………………………………………………………………………….

Mortified. Absolutely mortified.

There was no other way to describe it.

She was absolutely mortified.

Y/N initially had no intention of doing what she’d done that night, but upon seeing Robert, thinking of everything she felt for him but also how much he’d hurt her, she’d been unable to stop herself.

The literal lap dance she’d given him had come from somewhere between desirous arousal and offended anger, battling between still loving and wanting him, and feeling like she could nearly slap him again. And when it was over and she came to her senses once more, she knew that her only option was to bolt out of there as fast as possible and do everything she could to never see him again. That was the last time she’d let him hurt her.

•.•.•.•.•

The looks she’d given him — the obvious hurt in her eyes, but then also something else. The arousing feel of her body on his, the touches she she’d given him. The way his hands had felt on her. The instinctive need to hold her closer. The insane desire he had to just erase the mistake he’d made, take away the hurt he’d caused, and have her back with him and to tell her that he loved her.

These were all the thoughts running through Robert’s mind the next day, and as he sat at his desk and was unable to do anything productive, he kept trying to think of anything he could do now to possibly fix this. But it was hopeless. He’d screwed up royally, and he had no options left.

“Mr. Fischer, there’s someone here to see you. He’s not on your schedule, but he’s insisting you two know each other. He says it’s urgent and he needs to speak with you right away.”

Frowning at the words his receptionist, Mary, was saying to him through the phone intercom, Robert stood from his chair.

“What’s his name?” Robert asked then.

“Jason Dryers.”

Robert frowned again.

“I don’t know a Jason Dryers.”

There was a brief muffling as his receptionist spoke to whoever this visitor was, and then she spoke to Robert again.

“He’s insisting that he knows you, and that he needs to speak with you about Miss Y/L/N.”

At the mention of Y/N’s name, Robert’s eyebrows shot up, and then furrowed as he tried to figure out who this person could be.

“I’ll be right there,” he said into the phone, and then he moved from behind his desk and crossed his office.

As he opened the door and stepped out into the reception area, he saw a man who appeared to be about his age standing at Mary’s desk. The man turned around upon hearing Robert open the door, and as Robert looked at him, he immediately recognized him as the man who Y/N had been especially friendly with at the club that one night.

“You may not know me, but I know you,” Jason said upon making eye contact with Robert. “And I need to talk to you about Y/N.”

The mention of Y/N had Robert deciding that he needed to hear whatever this guy had to say. He’d been unable to stop her before she’d left the club last night after the ensemble performance, and all Robert had been able to think about all morning was how much of a mess all this had become and how insanely regretful he was for allowing himself to ruin everything.

Giving a slight nod to Mary over Jason’s shoulder to assure her that it was ok, Robert then silently stepped aside, making room in his doorway and gesturing for Jason to come into his office. After Jason had entered, Robert closed the door behind them, and then looked at Jason expectantly.

“What’s going on with Y/N?” he immediately asked, his face etched with concern. “Is she ok?”

Jason tilted his head, giving him a look of disbelief.

“Oh, so you’re suddenly concerned about her? After having called her a gold digging slut, hurting her so badly that she spent an entire week crying on my couch, and then intentionally embarrassing her by arranging that little show behind her back?” Jason scoffed. “You’re a real winner, aren’t you?”

Robert’s brow had furrowed deeper and deeper with each accusation Jason made, and he shook his head and tried to speak as he took in what he was saying.

“What? I didn’t—“

“Look, I don’t give a shit how rich you are or what influences you have. I’m not going to let you keep hurting my best friend. And while she may be too sweet to ever confront you, I’m not nearly as nice as her. So, I’m simply here to tell you to stop playing with her emotions and leave her the hell alone.”

Robert was trying to keep up as Jason made his declaration. But two words he’s said stuck out the most.

“Best friend?” Robert said to him.

Expecting a different response, Jason was poised to continue yelling when he registered Robert’s words.

“Yes, I’m her best friend. And I’m not gonna let you keep hurting her.”

“I thought you were dating her,” Robert said then, his pulse gradually rising as he started realizing he’d been very, very wrong.

“What?” Jason asked, again taken aback by Robert’s response. “No,” he shook his head as he frowned. “We’re best friends.”

“So, you’re not dating her? You two aren’t involved?”

“Considering the fact that I’m not interested in women, the answer to that is a definite no.” Jason crossed his arms then. “Although, if I was interested in women, I’d treat her a hell of a lot better than you have, I’ll tell you that.” He paused again before speaking once more, furrowing his brow in confusion. “What made you think she and I were dating?”

Robert looked at Jason.

“I saw you two at the club that night. You two kissed and hugged, and you seemed very…close.”

Jason looked back at Robert with equal confusion.

"I'd hardly call a quick kiss on the cheek 'close,'" he said.

"I..." Robert shook his head. "I thought maybe..."

"So, you see her give another man an innocent kiss on the cheek or learn she might be casually dating, and you immediately decide that means she's a gold digging bed hopper?" Jason started once more, angry again. He shook his head. "You know, for the longest time, I was rooting for you," he said, looking at Robert. "Every time she talked about you. I didn't even know you, but from everything Y/N would tell me, I was convinced you were a good guy and that you cared about her. But clearly, you don't give a shit about her. And you know what? That's fine, because you don't deserve her. If your opinion of her can be so easily swayed and you could be so cruel as to say what you said and do what you did to her, then you don't deserve to even know her. She's a million times better off having nothing to do with you. You're clearly not who she thought you were, and the little stunt you pulled last night was a low blow."

Shaking his head adamantly, Robert spoke then.

"I didn't arrange any of that last night," he began. "Well, I mean, I sort of did. I mean, I knew Y/N was going to be there, but I had no idea it was going to be that kind of performance. I thought all the women were just going to sing a song or something by themselves up on stage. I had no idea it was going to be what it turned out to be. My colleague arranged all that."

"But you did arrange it initially, though? And you knew she was going to be there," Jason emphasized. "You knew she was going to be there and you didn't tell her. Why? Just so you could humiliate her? Was what you said to her not hurtful enough, already? You had to catch her off guard and make her do it in front of you, just to make her feel worse?"

"What? No!" Robert insisted with another fervent shake of his head. "I arranged it initially, yes, but that was because it was my only option to possibly see her. I was trying to find a way to apologize. She'd refused what I'd sent her, she wouldn't respond to my calls or texts, and when I went to her apartment, she wasn't there and I had no idea when she'd be back. I had to work out some other way to see her so that I could try and talk to her. And if she knew ahead of time that I'd be there, I knew she wouldn't show up. I know it was extreme, but it was my only shot at being able to see her."

As Jason listened to Robert, his anger slowly started to lessen. So he'd done what he had to try and apologize?

"You went to her apartment?" Jason asked then.

"Yes," Robert replied. "After she'd sent everything back to me, I decided to try and speak to her in person. But when I went there, the doorman said she'd been gone for days, and that he didn't know when she'd be back. I waited for almost two hours, but she never came home."

"So you were trying to apologize?"

"Yes," Robert replied, nodding. "I've been trying to apologize since the day it happened, but she wouldn't have it. I didn't know what else to do."

Crossing his arms, Jason felt no sympathy for him.

"Maybe you shouldn't have ever said what you said to her in the first place. That would have been a good start. And the fact that your opinion of her could be so easily swayed tells me that an apology from you likely isn't really that meaningful. And just so you know, you couldn't be more wrong about her."

Robert shook his head yet again.

"What I said was terrible; I know that. And you have no idea how sorry I am. But I swear to you, I don't actually think any of that about her. I know I said it, but I didn't mean it."

"So then why did you say it?" Jason asked.

"Because I was jealous," Robert admitted. "Until that first time I went to see her, I had no idea she did this, and honestly, it was a shock. Not only that, but I hated the thought of anyone else seeing her like that. And then when I went and saw her the second time, the songs she'd sang were so different from the previous week. And I know now that they're just performances, they don't mean anything, but at the time, it threw me. And then I saw her with you, and I just..." Robert shook his head. "It was all just so unexpected. After we saw each other that night, and then at work the next day, I was still trying to wrap my head around it, and I know that what I said to her was terrible — horrible — but I swear to you, I didn't mean any of it. I felt jealous and surprised, and I just..."

He trailed off then, and Jason took the opportunity to circle back on something.

"Wait, so you'd seen her performing prior to that night when you two saw each other?" he asked.

Swallowing nervously, Robert realized he'd outed himself, but it was all coming out now, so what else could he do but be honest?

"Yes," he admitted.

"But she's never told you she did this," Jason shook his head. "How did you know?"

Robert released a resigned exhale.

"I overheard her talking about it with her friend one day," he said. "And when I learned about it...I don't know...I just had to go and see her."

"But you didn't tell her about that?" Jason asked.

"No," Robert shook his head.

"Why not?"

"Because I felt guilty, and I also didn't want to embarass her or make things awkward. How could I admit to going to see her?"

"But you did go."

"Yes."

"Why?"

Robert looked at Jason.

"Because I'm crazy about her; I have been for a long time. And when I learned she did this, I had to see her. What would you do if you had the opportunity to see the person you're crazy about like that?"

Staring back at Robert, Jason was slowly unravelling the mess that this had all become, and after a brief pause, Robert spoke again.

"Look, I know that what I said to her, how I acted towards her, is inexcusable. And for the last two weeks, I've spent every minute wishing I could take it back and trying to figure out some way to fix things. But believe me when I say that I don't actually believe any of what I said — I only said it out of jealousy, and I took it out on her. I just couldn't stand the thought of any other man seeing her like that. I know that's not an excuse, but she means more to me than anything, and I couldn't help how I felt. And now, I have no idea what else I can do, and it's killing me. I hate myself for all this."

Looking at Robert, Jason could see that the regret he felt and the sincerity in what he was saying was clear. And as Robert took a deep breath, he spoke again.

"Listen, I know I haven’t earned any favors here, but will you please just tell her that I'm sorry? I just need her to know that I don't truly think any of those things about her. I need her to know how sorry I am.”

Pausing momentarily, Robert then turned and walked back to his desk, opening a drawer and pulling out a sealed envelope.

“And maybe you can give her this,” he said.

Walking back over to Jason, he then handed it to him, and as Jason took the envelope, he gave Robert a questioning look.

"It's the letter I tried sending to her each time along with the flowers," Robert explained. "It's an apology, and it tells her how I feel about her. And I understand if she won't give me another chance, but I need her to know how I really feel."

Looking down for a moment at the envelope, Jason then looked up at Robert.

"And how do you really feel?" he asked him.

Looking back at him, Robert's face was completely serious.

"I love her," he replied. "I'm in love with her."

After a moment's pause, Jason switched the envelope into his other hand, then reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

"You know, you could have saved the both of you a whole lot of time and trouble if you'd just been honest with her a long time ago."

Robert shook his head.

"I didn't know if she felt even the slightest bit what I was feeling," he said. "And I couldn't risk telling her and then losing her."

"You wouldn't have lost her," Jason assured him.

"How do you know?" Robert asked.

"Because she's as in love with you as you are with her. She has been for ages.”

Upon hearing that, Robert's heart pounded.

"And that's why what you said hurt her so badly,” Jason finished. “She loves you, and she thought you were someone who would never hurt her."

"I never will again," Robert replied, shaking his head. "Please, just have her read that letter."

Nodding, Jason then partially unfolded the piece of paper he'd pulled from his pocket, and then he looked at Robert again.

"The fact that she’s in love with you aside, you should also know that there was never any need for you to be jealous," he said, the hint of a smile suddenly appearing on his face. "Maybe take a look at this, and you'll understand why."

Jason holding out the paper, Robert reached out and took it, and Jason gave him a nod before heading for the door.

"I'll give her the letter," he confirmed. Then he walked across Robert's office and opened the door, stepping out and closing it behind him.

After Jason had left, Robert looked down to the paper in his hand, and after a moment's pause, he unfolded it. Upon glancing over it, he saw that it was some kind of personal worksheet that the owner of Plume had had her employees fill out. It was covered in Y/N's handwriting, and it asked questions like:

“What makes you feel empowered?"

“What makes you feel confident?"

"What makes you feel sexy?"

"What's your favorite aspect of performing?"

Reading through it, Robert came to the last question on the page.

"Is there someone in particular you think about when you perform? If so, who is it?"

As he read Y/N's response, he then suddenly understood what Jason had told him.

“Robbie”

@nyxxie-pooh @xsweetcatastrophe @febris-amatoria @vervainandspritz @allie131313

@an-eclectic-of-mass-destruction @betty21rose @cardan-official @teawonderfultea-blog1 @meister95

@4ria790 @shopgirl6us @wonderlanddreamer @mrs-bond @the-girl-wh0-cries-w0lf

@mspookington-blog @helftmich @lara2719 @cillmurphyslover @peskybinders

@vastcapacity @ll4n4 @tommyshelby87 @fmo166 @cassandratyrellm

@galactict3a

Hello! are you willing to help me get my insulin? I'm down to my last pen and its pretty much close to being empty.Nt asking for a much, only need $67 rn to save my blood sugar. please help me with a small donation or share,reblog any help can save my life.  Thank you so much and be blessed.🙏 Donation link is available on my pinned post.

Let's help people out. 👏🏻

Enemies with Benefits

Part 17: 1 of 2

Previous part here

I’m breaking this part up into two smaller parts because I just couldn’t wait to share more with you guys; I hope you’re all cool with that!

***!!!Warning: mentions of military service, hintings of PTSD!!!***

…………………………………………………………………………….

“Do you still think about it a lot?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you still think about it a lot?”

“Do I still think about what, love?”

Lying together in his bed, Tommy and Y/N were wrapped in each other, snuggled as close together as possible. His arm was around her while his hand tenderly stroked through her hair, and Y/N’s head was nestled on Tommy’s chest, her fingers softly running along his skin. She absentmindedly traced along the lines of the tattoo on his pec, and they’d been silent for a while, basking in the bliss of finally being together. It was now nearly morning, but the sky was still dark, and it still felt as if they were the only two people in the world, and Y/N hadn’t been able to resist asking the question.

“When you were in the army; when you were deployed,” Y/N clarified quietly, her head still resting on his chest. “Is it something you still think about a lot?”

Y/N felt Tommy tense underneath her, and she stopped tracing along his chest and laid her palm softly against him instead. When he didn’t answer right away, she then shifted to lift her head and look at him, and when he met her eyes, her voice was soft again.

“Polly told me, the morning after the robbery,” she explained. “And I saw your tags on the shelf last night.”

When Tommy still didn’t say anything, Y/N began to feel nervous. Maybe she shouldn’t have brought it up.

“I’m sorry,” she quickly began again, looking down and fiddling with the bedsheet. “I understand if it’s a sensitive subject, and we don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to, but I just...” she lifted her eyes and looked at him again. “I want to really know you, Tommy, and your past is part of who you are.”

Silently looking back at Y/N for another moment, Tommy was battling the issue of not wanting to talk about that part of his life and processing the unbelievable rush of emotion he felt for Y/N at her statement.

He’d gotten closer to her than he’d ever gotten to any other woman. Frankly, she was the first woman he’d ever wanted to give true consideration to. Rather than a cookie-cutter girl who had no real substance and was only useful for scratching an itch, Y/N was a breed all her own. She was the elusive perfect woman for him that Tommy had imagined in some of his darkest times, but who he didn’t think he’d actually find until he’d met her, and he felt something within himself soften whenever they were together.

But there were aspects of Tommy’s life that Y/N wasn’t going to learn about or get to the bottom of in a single conversation, or even many. It would still take plenty of time and silent patience before Tommy would possibly fully open up to her or reveal those parts.

“Forget it. I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have brought it up,” Y/N said with a shake of her head when he still hadn’t answered her, but as she began to pull away to give him some space, Tommy reached out and stopped her.

“It’s alright, love,” he said as he stroked her cheek. “It’s not exactly a secret.”

“It was a big part of your life,” Y/N replied, trying to softly encourage him to talk.

Tommy dismissively shook his head and shrugged a shoulder.

“It’s not important,” he said, wanting to downplay it.

“Yes, it is,” Y/N replied, not wanting to push him but not liking the fact that he brushed it off like that. “It’s a part of what shaped you; of who you are. And from what Polly told me, you were quite determined, for multiple reasons.”

“Polly likes to harp on things for the sake of being dramatic, even when they’re not important,” Tommy said, still trying to downplay it all.

“Tommy...”

He huffed out an exhale then, wanting to give Y/N something to appease her, but not wanting to focus on it for long.

“It was just something I chose to do,” Tommy said then. “I had anger and energy from a shit childhood that I didn’t know how to channel, and no other place to go. University wasn’t for me, and I figured I should at least make myself useful to someone, and so there you go.”

Y/N looked at him.

“Was it awful?” she asked then.

“It wasn’t a holiday,” Tommy answered simply, and she could tell he didn’t want to elaborate. “But I wasn’t useful anywhere else.”

“I highly doubt that,” Y/N said. “From what Polly told me, you were useful even before the army. Trying to take care of everyone; trying to make things better. That’s a lot of weight to carry, especially when you were so young.”

“I didn’t have a choice,” Tommy answered.

“Yes, you did,” Y/N replied. “You didn’t have to shoulder that responsibility, but you did. And you could have just allowed yourself to stay angry, to choose a different path that could have been destructive, to let things stay as they were and just be mad. But you didn’t. You took it upon yourself to be better, to take steps to make sure your family was taken care of. Don’t belittle that, Tommy.”

From what small amount of knowledge she had on someone in his position, Y/N did know that Tommy’s dismissive attitude and downplaying of his past was a common behavior among veterans. But she sensed that it didn’t just stem from his military experience, but also from just who he was as a person. She knew he was determined, devoted, and fiercely protective of those he cared about. He always made sure everyone else was alright, but didn’t put any importance on himself because he always felt like he still wasn’t good enough, and like he still could or should be doing more.

Leaning forward and softly stroking his chest again, Y/N knew she shouldn’t push him any further right now.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to push you,” she said softly as she looked at him. “But just know that if you ever feel like sharing anything with me, or even if you just need someone to listen and not say anything, I’m here...and I think you’re very important.”

After a brief pause as he looked in her eyes, Tommy wrapped a hand around the back of Y/N’s neck and pulled her to him, their lips meeting for a passionate kiss as they each tried to wordlessly convey the feelings growing between them.

When they parted, Tommy stroked Y/N’s cheek as he smiled at her, and when she reached up and brushed a piece of his hair off his forehead, Tommy reached down and slowly ran the palm of his free hand back and forth over her bare bottom.

“Don’t look so pleased with yourself, Mr. Shelby,” Y/N teased him and gave him another quick peck.

“Well, let’s see, I have a sweet, beautiful, pistol of a woman lying naked in my bed, who can’t resist me and completely falls apart when I touch her, so I’d say I have plenty to be pleased about.”

Blushing and pushing away from Tommy in a feeble attempt to outdo him, Y/N spoke with a sheepish little smile as she pulled the bedsheet more tightly around herself.

“I do not fall apart, and I can totally resist you,” she insisted unconvincingly with another blush, scooting further away from him.

At that, Tommy rolled over after her and peeled the sheet from her body with little resistance before positioning himself above her and grabbing her wrists, pinning her in place. Y/N’s heart immediately began pounding again and she squirmed in pleasure as Tommy nosed along her neck and then kissed her there, his growing erection pressing against her pussy, which was immediately wet again.

“Oh, really?” he said tauntingly as he rocked his hips into hers and she moaned, arching up to meet his thrust. “Then why do I already have you moaning, and you’ve already drenched my cock again, hmm?”

He sensually kissed her neck again and rocked his hips once more, and Y/N whined as she tried to feel him exactly where she wanted, her wrists still in his grasp.

“Tommy…” she breathed out, the same desperation in her voice as there had been all night.

“That sounds pretty desperate to me,” he said to her teasingly as he looked down at her. “Now, are you going to keep up the charade, or do you just want me to fuck you?”

Speechless, Y/N just thrusted her hips up to him again, biting her lip in need as their eyes met and she silently begged him. Smirking, Tommy shook his head and spoke before slipping deeply inside her.

“Well, it was a valiant effort, love,” he said.

@nyxxie-pooh @xsweetcatastrophe @allie131313 @betty21rose @febris-amatoria

@hannibellector @fairytale07 @meister95 @alltoowellbeneaththemangotree @beastofburdenxo

@runnning-outof-time @aphroditeslover11 @galactict3a @natalie--rushman @wild-rose-35

@judig92 @hudson-bay-girl @ladyvenera @yay-im-fucking-trash @k1ng-l3on

@ceirinen @peskybinders @fuseburner @shaddixlife @neonpurplestars89-blog

@garrison-girl-08 @devotedlyshadowytheorist @emotionalcadaver @muhahaha303

WICKED GAMES

Summary: Jackson had one task, to protect her while her house wasn't a safe place anymore, not after her fiancé got them in trouble with the wrong people. How is it going to work out with her combativeness and Jackson's feisty approach? The story begins when things get slightly out of control.

Word count: 4.6k

A/N: There will be part two

Rushing to “my” room, I couldn't even sob properly. Even breathing was a struggle after the situation that took place just a mere hour ago. Not to mention the conversation that followed, and hurtful words from my fiancé.

The only person who was supposed to be always on my side.

The whole situation turned on me, and yet, he had absolutely no interest in listening to a word coming from my mouth. I could still hear Harry's raised voice, hushed by a quieter tone coming from Jackson as he said something that I couldn't really hear. Fury was filling me head to toe at the lack of understanding. At the whole fucking situation that Jackson, basically, put me in. Getting into bed, I hid my face in a pillow, finally able to sob quietly. Ringing silence followed by a sudden, dramatic slam of the front door.

“Don't cry” Low, husky voice echoed throughout the hall, as Jackson's steps grew closer to my room.

I didn't even have the strength to get up and push him off the bed after he decided to sit down next to me.

“He doesn't want me anymore, he won't marry me.” I said quietly, my head turning to look at his face. Resentment growing at the memory of every detail of the conversation with my fiancé.

“Harry doesn't think like that, he just… got carried away, yeah? Got a little angry.” Jackson was convinced, trying to make it all sound better, but he was clearly lacking skills on how to cheer someone up. My blood boiled.

“Angry?” I sat up abruptly. “I was the one who almost got sexually assaulted and he didn't even bother to hug me or take me home.” I growled, my eyes becoming teary once again.

He licked his lips out of habit, I noticed. I had made a pretty strong argument, so he thought for a moment.

After a long minute Jackson sighed deeply, his brows furrowed and eyes focused on the floor in front of him. Suddenly he took off his jacket and threw it on the dresser.

“I'm mad at you too.” I said, sniffling in the meantime and wiping my nose. “For leaving me, and it's not the first time. You were supposed to protect me.” My voice grew shaky as I spoke the truth. We both knew it was right.

Jackson looked at me without emotion. Then he looked down at his fingers.

“I had no choice.” He eventually said, straightening his back, running a hand through his thick hair.

“You could have told me you were going with your goblin girlfriend, then I wouldn't have gone.” My eyes locked onto his face, I could see the twitching of his eye. He was clearly uncomfortable, but so was I and it was all his fault anyway. “Do you know how I felt when you just followed after her, and left me alone?” My tone grew sharper, accusatory.

“I'm not proud of what I did.” He admitted, clearing his throat beforehand. Jackson's body heat was slightly distracting. The warmth from him was highly appreciated, even if I wouldn't admit it. I pulled my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them.

"--and that's fine, I hate you with all my heart." My lower lip trembled. “I wanted to be friends with you, I tried to make our time more pleasant, I even fed you when your girlfriend simply refused to do so, and you know what? I've learned that it's better to be a cold bitch or you'll get your ass kicked like I did. Like I always do.” After my words, silence filled the room for a longer moment. I thought that maybe they landed right, but then he spoke up again.

“That's not true, you don't hate me.” Jackson stated. Like he was stating something obvious, looking at me emotionlessly. I got even more angry that THAT was the only thing he caught.

“I do hate you,” I growled, grabbing him by the collar. Jackson was clearly surprised, and I clenched my jaw. “I wish you would suffer like I did.”

It was the first time in my life that I was this close to him. He looked down at me without breaking eye contact.

“You didn't even admit to him that it was all your fault.” I shook my head with anger, fingers tightening around the material.

“If I did, he would have immediately packed and taken you back to England.” His voice was hoarse, blue steely eyes still locked on my face, not daring to create more distance between us.

“Good.” I perked up. “That's what I would have wanted.”

“But I wouldn’t. I don't.” He said out of the blue.

To add to my confusion, Jackson's hands landed on my ass, pulling me towards him. My pelvis touched his chest and I didn't know what was so irrationally fucked up about that, that I couldn't get a word out...or push him away, for that matter. I just stared with wide eyes at his moving lips.

“I am aware that it's all my fault and I really don't know how to repay you. I regret it.” His voice was confident, eyes empty and hands firm on my body. My breath quickened and I had no idea what to make out of it.

“Grabbing my ass is not the best move.” My voice was dripping with sarcasm and brows furrowed in surprise before he spoke up again, shutting me up.

“You like it, I can see it in your eyes.”

…and then something very important occurred to me. At first I ignored it because I thought every woman was prone to it, but no. I pulled myself out of his grip and sat down next to him.

“Harry was right, I really do deserve to be called a whore.” I chuckled, shaking my head lightly.

Jackson’s fingers only dug deeper into my hips as he cleared his throat.

“I’d tell you something, but wouldn't want to spoil your wedding plans.” He responded with a thin layer of mockery, looking at me without blinking even.

“I know about his fleeting affair with his secretary.” I cut him off, sighing deeply. “It was a long time ago, I forgave him.” Shame burnt in my face as I said it out loud, hearing how stupidly it sounded.

Jackson hummed, just nodded and took a deeper breath.

“I assume you didn't have any,”

“Exactly.” I looked at him with regret. “So what if I sometimes wear a dress that's too short and nothing else? I'll be a whore anyway, Harry said that himself.”

He put his arm around me completely by surprise. I raised my eyebrows at him, taking advantage of the fact that I had the material of his shirt close to my face. Without missing a beat, I pressed my nose against it.

“Did you just rub yourself in my shirt?” His voice echoed throughout the room suddenly. Tone annoyed, pierced with amusement. My head tilted up, eyes locking with his own.

“I'm a mess and I could really beat you up if you start complaining about my snot on your shirt.” I spoke in a quiet yet threatening voice, which made Jackson shake his head lightly.

“It's disgusting and unhygienic.”

Couldn't care less, I thought before moving away slowly. Suddenly I gasped, swinging my legs. I was looking at the color of my nails when something came to mind. It just came to me out of the blue, I knew that if I didn't ask him now, I never would.

Turning around I moved closer, facing him. Jackson's brows were raised at my sudden body language change, but my mind was set on getting answers.

“I'll ask you straight out, have you ever spied on me? Like.. in the bathroom?” My cheeks turned bright red as words started slipping off my tongue.

And it was such a casual question, I thought he would immediately deny it and get it over with, but he didn't say anything for too long. I looked at him instinctively to see his smile.

“I always do.”

I blinked a couple times, his words not really registering in my head. Was he mocking?

“Don't make fun of me, I really saw you” I huffed with annoyance. Jackson was unfazed, still smiling and looking me in the eyes carelessly.

“Because I was actually standing there.”

I took a deep breath not believing him. He was lying like always, I knew him... or at least I thought so.

“You are a fucking prude, you certainly wouldn't do something that your lady wouldn't like.” My voice was full of mockery and amusement, but my brain was still in shock at his behaviour and words.

Jackson slowly began to unbutton his shirt. He didn't look at me, as if I wasn't even there.

“What are you doing?” I muttered as he removed it completely.

“When you undress in front of me, you don't make a problem out of it.” Jackson replied, not looking at me as he casually started stripping like it was an everyday thing. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

“Nobody said I was making an issue out of it.” Doing my best for my voice to come out unfazed, I couldn't help the low, hoarse edge to it.

“So you won't be offended if I take off my pants as well?”

I scratched the back of my neck at his.. question.

“If you're going to do this.” I sighed, pointing at the standing figure, now almost naked. “What's your point in doing this anyway?”

Jackson shrugged. His wider, athletic, firm body now on display. I did my best to keep my eyes on an appropriate level.

“I'm hot.”

I nodded, glaring at him. He sat down next to me and loosened his boxers at the crotch. It was the second time I noticed it, but I didn't look into it.

“You know.” I paused for a moment, thinking. “I’m hot too.”

I didn't know what was driving me when I simply took off my blouse. I was cold, but I was doing something that completely contradicted my reason. Then I took a seat on the left side of the bed and burrowed under the blanket.

“I think you should go now.” I murmured from beneath the cover. I could hear him clearing his throat as Jackson's blue eyes followed every single move of my body.

“Why?”

“Because it's inappropriate.”

He didn't move quickly. It took me a moment to see his massive back as he headed for the exit.

“Good night." he said before closing the door behind him.

Good night, what's wrong with him?

~~~

“Do you think pretending to be contrite will get his attention? Don't be ridiculous, I'll destroy you if you do something I don't like.”

“Jackson” I growled, turning the screen brighter so he could see. He looked at me from the kitchen “I want you to see something.”

I shoved my phone under his nose. He frowned as he read the first message I got when I got home from the hospital, and the second one this morning. Reading it, Jack sighed.

“I'll talk to her” Turning around he went back to making himself food. I sat there, dumbfounded and annoyed with his lack of reaction. After several weeks spent together he could be a little more empathetic.

“And that's it? You won't even react appropriately?”

Swiftly turning around once again, he crossed his arms over his chest, raising an eyebrow.

“How am I supposed to react?” The tone of his voice mocking more than anything else. I took a deep breath, smiling wryly at him.

“You could at least say she's a bitch and you'll deal with her.”

He looked at me, irritated.

“She's my girlfriend, it would probably be inappropriate.” I snorted, and shot right back, unable to hold back.

“But taking your pants off next to me wasn't?”

Jackson tensed so I could see it landed well, but he chose to ignore me, making me sigh.

“Don't blame me for the fact that your wedding plans are slowly disappearing.” Came from his lips suddenly.

I felt a lump in my throat.

“They are not. I called Harry today.” My voice was weaker than a couple seconds ago, but I spoke up with confidence. Jackson suddenly snorted, throwing the dirty fork into the sink and turning to face me as he leaned on the counter.

“How so?” I raised my eyebrows at the.. weird tone of voice he had asking this question. Accusatory almost.

I looked down, putting my phone in my pocket.

“His mother answered, and then—” I paused for a moment, wondering if I really wanted to tell him this. “—it occurred to me that I might want to postpone the wedding. I regretted getting that fucking phone back.”

He ran a hand through his hair before folding his arms across his chest.

“This is probably a matter between you and Harry, I shouldn't get involved.”

I looked him in the eyes for a second, nodding lightly.

*Yeah, you're right.” I shook my head. “I just wanted to tell you to do something about this fucking message and I'm also worried about whether the contract was signed. Was it?”

“Yes, I quickly signed it that evening.” He replied with an unreadable expression. I thought for a moment, his words ringing in my head. Quickly.

“Are you aware that you may have agreed to something inappropriate? Have you read it?” I asked quietly, knowing how silly it sounded to him as he's probably done thousands of such deals before. To my surprise, he shook his head.

“Of course not. You know, I'm a human and I actually felt sorry for you.” he pouted. “That's why I came here in the first place. To check on you.”

I had no idea whether his words were true, but the lighthearted approach was annoying nevertheless.

“I don't need you to feel sorry for me. As you can see I'm doing fine.” I snapped back, straightening my back and narrowing my eyes at him.

I leaned back in the chair, not knowing why I was still standing there. I had planned to leave him, but I wanted him to make me food as well, but obviously, he wouldn't agree so I didn't even bother asking. Although it didn't look like it would happen, he only put scrambled eggs on one plate.

“Would you like to go out today?” Jackson asked suddenly in a normal, genuine voice as he sat down in his seat, grabbing the cutlery. I licked my lips, feeling hungry.

“I'm not in the mood.” I murmured back, my eyes fixated on his breakfast.

“I was thinking about a… club, actually. I need to drink.”

I raised my eyebrows in surprise as I took a clean fork out of the set and sat down next to him.

“You, my dear? Aren't you too good for a club and drinking?” I asked with a grin, getting a bite of his food.

He looked at me strangely as I simply scooped up a piece of egg and popped it into my mouth.

“Um, from now on, you make breakfast.” I muttered with a mouthful of his scrambled eggs. Looking at me, he sighed.

“You should have told me earlier, I would have cooked a double portion.” I chuckled.

“You have plenty of it, we'll both get full, for sure.” I waved my hand as I started eating, reaching for the rye bread. Rippner didn't make any movement at first, but later - seeing my full mouth - he slowly started eating. And I even shared the bread with him, he took a slice from me quite distrustfully, which made me roll my eyes.

Well, that was progress. We ate from one plate, two weeks ago he would have thrown me down the stairs for that. “Actually” I started, leaning against the back of the chair, stroking my round belly. “I could go with you. Unless your goblin steps in again, then I promise you that I'll cut off your balls and you'll never fuck again.”

“She's not supposed to know anything about it,” He stood up, carrying the dirty plate away. I gasped dramatically.

“Are you going to spite her again? What if she doesn't let you eat like the last time?” Jackson rolled his eyes at my words, taking a gulp of water from the glass.

“I came to the conclusion that I also need something.. fresher.”

My eyes widened at the sound of his words. Fresher? What the fuck could it mean coming from HIS mouth?

“What do you mean?” I frowned. Jack shrugged with a barely visible grin, raising his eyebrows.

“I've known her all my life, I don't know what it's like to have another girl.”

I exhaled with relief.

“You finally saw the light.” I sighed, raising my hands high, towards the heavens. “I'm proud of you.” My words were nothing but mockery and jokes, but Jackson just rolled his eyes.

Once again I noticed him loosening his pants at the crotch and mumbling something to me as he went away. I just shrugged wondering what I was going to wear to the club.

When I got ready, I wondered if I was doing the right thing by going there. Last night, I was almost assaulted but I tried not to think about it, and… trust him again this one time, as I left the apartment with Rippner. We arrived a few minutes later but not without my groaning again because of the loud music. After a few drinks, Jack clearly relaxed, and after a second order, I managed to drag him out onto the dance floor. He was a little tipsy, I was a little more, but we didn't spare each other insults when I'd accidentally step on his polished shoes.

It was after two AM when we decided to finally leave. A taxi took us to the apartment building, and then we went to the apartment.

“Damn heels, my feet hurt, do yours too?” I asked, doing my best to stay upright.

“Mhm” he mumbled back, not looking at me. I grimaced as I walked straight after Jackson across the tiles. I grabbed the back of his shirt as he climbed the stairs.

“Will you carry me?”

“No” I groaned with despair.

“You were supposed to say ‘mhm”

He didn't expect me to jump clumsily on his back, almost hitting my head against the wall. Luckily Jackson caught me just in time and, sighing heavily, carried me to the bedroom. I sprawled on the bed, mumbling strangely as my bones began to creak.

Only after a second I realised that Jackson was still standing in the doorway. Swaying on his feet slightly, he breathed deeply while looking at me.

“Don't puke in my room” I warned with a chuckle, but he didn't respond. The silence caused me to glance at him, and breath got stuck in my throat.

“Mhm” he murmured, taking his shirt off slowly. Jackson's eyes were half lidded, and I could see him looking.

“What are you doing? You're hot again?”

My words hung in the air that thickened so much, I could barely breathe. His drunken gaze was even more intense than usual. Jackson tilted his head to the side, grazing over my body.

“No,” he replied, taking a step forward. “Just calculating how much longer I can stand not fucking you.”

Breathless gasp pushed past my lips at his words, as I slowly sat up higher, suddenly feeling naked under his predatory gaze. I didn't even respond, just shaking my head slowly as our eyes locked onto each other. I slowly got on my shaky legs, taking a step back.

“We can't, Jack” I repeated, even though my face was already burning hot. I didn't know whether I loved, or hated the way he became now. So… intense. I was losing my mind.

“A-and Harry…” As soon as I started, I heard a huff coming from him before he pushed me against a wall.

His eyes were dark with anger, lust and the dark, heavy desire he felt at the moment. Without missing a beat he took a step forward, pushing my body at the wall as his lips crushed mine. Jackson's hands found their way to my shoulders, pressing harder against the hard surface as his tongue pushed past my lips, finding my own. I didn't get a chance to even think for a moment before kissing him back, hands gripping onto his muscular shoulders, movements so shaky and frantic that I almost couldn't breathe.

”I don't want to hear it.” Jackson breathed out as we parted for a moment, looking deep into his eyes I could see a reflection of my own. Dark, full of lust and need. “You want it, and I want it. So we'll have it.” He groaned, leaning down and biting on my neck hard, making me groan out loud. He gladly took the opportunity, lifting me up, and pushed me back onto the bed.

“You don't even love him.” He purred into my ear, rough hands travelling down my body, touching every inch of my hot skin before I could even process him being so close.

“Shut up” I hissed back, my nails digging deeper into his shoulder to cause some pain.

His hot, firm body pressing against my own with full weight, pushing further into the soft bed. I couldn't help but let out a sigh, feeling it, hands falling off his shoulders and spreading flat on the warm surface, attempting to find some release in the fire smouldering beneath my skin. His eyes were just as sharp from a little distance, more.. dangerous. Cutting into the skin, leaving open wounds that would keep bleeding unless he'd decide to smooth them out with his rough palms.

Jackson pulled my leathery pants down, panties ending up as a piece of material on the floor impossible to wear in the state they were in. Ripped to pieces.

”You don't look at him like that” His voice coming much lower, booming right into my ear, accompanied by the sound of his pants shuffling, zipper coming undone. Blood in my ears was so loud, I almost couldn't hear my own breath. It felt like an out of body experience.

My left hand moved into his hair again, tugging on the strands and making him lean down even more. His masculine, heavy scent was all I felt, surrounding my senses forcefully and relentlessly..

”You’re ruining everything. You.. you don't even know.” I stuttered out, breathing heavily, struggling to stay as he started leaving wet kisses on my skin. His possessive hands grabbing and groping every piece of skin he could get a hold of. A low chuckle followed by a laugh left his lips.

”Shhhhh” He cooed, while one of his hands lined up his hard, throbbing manhood with my entrance. His red tip rubbing against the wet folds, making me cringe from the pleasure I felt. ”That's what you need, isn't it? Should have come to me sooner.” Jack chuckled, his hips pushing forward with a sudden thrust, filling me up to the brim.

”Fuck!” I yelled out in a muffled voice. The fullness ripping a cry out of my throat. As soon as he started moving, my brain felt foggy. The way his girthy cock stretched me wide, moving back and forth and grinding at all the right spots made me feel vulnerable and unable to fight him longer. My head fell back onto his shoulder, little whimpers and cries leaving my mouth as my hands kept holding onto his hair and neck.

”That's a good girl. Be a good girl for me.” Jack whispered with a grin, the pace of his thrusts becoming more animalistic with each passing second.

”Jackson please!” I whimpered as another thrust went right up to my cervix, the big tip of his cock slamming against it. The pain and pleasure mixing into a foreign combination.. one too addicting to let go. Practically hammering the tip of his cock into my wet, warm heat was overwhelming. Not a single thought going through my head. Jackson's hands groping and squeezing every inch of my body he could reach, his lips and tongue licking on the small, bleeding wound he created on the side of my neck, Bruising and soothing at the same time, whispering sweet nothings into my ear. Complete opposite of how rough he was.

One of his hands sneaked down, skilfully squeezing my breasts in the meantime, heading down the smooth skin until he'd reach my mound. Wet pussy getting pierced with every thrust, and his fingers pressed onto my clit indelicately, rubbing circles at a brutal pace.

”Come for me.” His demanding voice filled my ears, followed by the sensation of his tongue driving me crazy, licking and marking the skin on my neck. Jackson's hair fell forward a little, brushing against my sensitive skin with every thrust while he held my body firmly against the wall, preventing my legs from giving out. Subconsciously my shaky hands clamped on his neck, long nails digging into the skin on his throat and ripping a loud moan out of his mouth while his cock throbbed viciously inside me. ”Oh my god!” I groaned in a shaky voice, when the sound of his moan pushed me over the edge. The sudden orgasm that I single handedly has never been able to achieve with other men went through my body like lightning. Shocking every cell and paralysing me completely for a good moment but Jackson kept overstimulating me further, thrusting relentlessly into my pussy even though it was squeezing him like a vice. Tears started going down my face at the impossibly painful and pleasurable sensation and he watched, looking into my eyes with a barely visible grin. Not letting go and holding tight for several moments before I went completely brainless, on the mercy of him and his big cock stretching me so well.

”That's it” Jackson hissed, quickly pulling out and grabbing a fist of my hair, I hissed as my scalp burned when he pushed me down on my knees suddenly. His cock just centimetres away from my lips while his face twisted into strong pleasure, blue eyes falling shut while Jack kept stroking his dick at a crazy pace. After a couple seconds finally, thick ropes of cum shot out from his tip, landing on my face. His facial expression and the way he stroked himself looked like a scene from the best porno, and I couldn't help but moan as his essence hit my skin. My jaw just fell slack open. Catching some of his cum I wasn't thinking, mind still foggy after this heated and sudden encounter.

He kept pumping until there was nothing coming out anymore. My face covered, eyes staring blank on his face. Jackson sighed deeply, letting go of his still hard manhood, using his own shirt as a towel before running a hand through his hair. Crouching down in front of me he pushed a stray lock of hair away from my face before grabbing my jaw.

“Much better. So pretty.” He purred, petting my red cheek for a moment before pulling me up on my feet, and back into bed, wrapping his arm around my waist.

“Oh my god” I eventually said, after the realisation settled and my brain started working. Aching between my legs present like never before.

“Quiet, woman. Some people want to sleep” He groaned with annoyance, and I couldn't believe he was the same man who just railed me into oblivion.

RECOUNT AND REVOTE!

For those in the US, there is a petition demanding a recount and revote as well as an investigation about the sudden change in support. Your voice matters and I encourage you to sign!

Change.org

This campaign needs you now

Recount and Revote the 2024 Election