THE VAMPIRE DIARIES (2009-2017)

shelby company limited.

Not Now, Not Ever

Part 1

Sorry it took so long. I was busy.

The view was almost pleasant. Where ‘almost’ was the key word in the eyes of a person who spent most of their life seeing it: a tall building in the city center, surrounded by even taller expectations of people who somehow got there. In recent years, more and more people were finding a way to earn time. Whether it was by honestly earning it, luck or tearing it out of some poor bastard who entered the city in search of cheap pleasure and a good time, unfortunately encountering such a frequent guest. Death.

Because that's what Dayton was known for: cheap pleasure and death.

No matter how much time passed, the luridness of Dayton lingered in Y/N’s deepest thoughts and memories. Thus the view here wasn't too bad. Dark eyes closely watched people who'd pass by the building, as her hand twirled her pen.

What a silly habit it was.

It helped her focus, at the same time ensuring that her eyes would not wander to the man sitting on the other side of the large office. Sighing deeply, Y/N leaned forward as her elbows made contact with the desk before reaching for the keyboard. The combination of symbols and numbers created password she knew by heart, typing it in within a single glance.

Hundreds of files, cases hidden under certain codes, were only known to the timekeepers who belonged to the group called A6. A6 consisted of three members. One of them was stationed ten floors higher, with gold letters on his office door, wrinkles on his face and the whole system in his hands. The second member was sitting directly in front of Y/N, separated by ten feet of distance and his stone cold expression. Raymond Leon. Even though Greenwich was bursting at the seams with people who looked permanently young, he was one of the few people she ever encountered who… never changed, not even slightly.

He had a blank expression adorning his face accompanied by scars crossing his pale skin. Weirdly bright, blue eyes dispassionately observed the environment he'd find himself in, no matter where and when. His hair slicked back perfectly, which sometimes drove her mad when she'd wake up in a worse mood.

How could he possibly do it? Not a single strand of stray black hair on his forehead throughout all the years they worked together. Scoffing quietly she rolled her eyes, realizing that her thoughts wandered once again.

It wasn't the best day. She usually had focus, but the switch she learned to make going through the entrance of the building seemed to not work very well today. Her mind was consumed with the wistfulness of the free will she used to have in the past.

Before it all started. Before she became something more than Y/N Y/L/N. Before becoming a Timekeeper.

Several decades ago when she had more in her than this fucking badge in the pocket of her leather coat.

As she suddenly got up, the armchair rolled with a screeching sound. Raymond's attention shifted to Y/N as he raised his eyebrows, looking over his screen at her feminine silhouette.

He didn't say a word, even though he wanted to ask.

She didn't say a word, even though she saw him looking.

Passing by his desk, she grabbed a lighter wordlessly as she moved towards the window, opening it wide on the arms length. The disparate feelings of fresh air and the burning nicotine filling up her lungs was all she needed at the moment.

Feeling the not quite unpleasant scent of tobacco in the air, Raymond was just about to get up to join his colleague in the window when suddenly the door swung open.

“Leon, Y/L/N” A forty year old looking woman stood in the doorway clutching onto a file with a fierce expression on her face. This felt like a breath of fresh air after spending several hours with Raymond’s impassiveness, Y/N thought. “Jameson was found dead thirty miles out of Dayton. We're dropping the case.” She said in a tired voice. Not waiting for an answer, the woman took a step back before disappearing behind the black door.

Y/N scoffed with annoyance. It was the cherry on top of her already bad mood.

“Sure, I only worked on it for two weeks. No biggie.” Her voice was stuffed with sarcasm. Her barely contained frustration filled the now silent room, getting a chuckle out of Raymond.

“In a great mood, aren't we?” He replied with a blank expression, playful mockery in his tone that he used so often, almost like a tool towards Y/N.

Getting up he closed the file, before approaching the window that she stood by. He pulled a pack of menthol cigarettes out of his coat and snatched the lighter out of her hand.

Y/N didn't reply, glancing sideways at him while taking a drag.

“Kinda funny for someone who can't even smoke like a man.” She replied smoothly, without missing a beat causing him to slightly lift one corner of his lips.

“You're enough of a man for both of us.” came out of his mouth along with a trail of smoke. Y/N realized it was only the second sentence he said to her that day, and yet, she had enough of his talking.

Putting her cigarette out, Y/N passed by him, getting back to work and leaving him standing there. Finally, she managed to get to work.

The weather was windy, the sensation of fresh air glazing his skin felt good accompanied by the scent of her perfumes and smoke. Strangely calming, even though he couldn't put his finger on what she smelled like. It's not like it matters, anyway, he thought watching over the busy city center. People rushing places even as the sun started to set was not a surprise, as Greenwich barely slept bustling with life.

Raymond rarely experienced the time where he could just be. Without pacing and his mind being on constant overdrive.

Just like now, standing by the window and pondering on the scent of his colleague's perfume, a calmness settled somewhere between his ribs. He realized that after so many years spent here in this building, with a steely badge on his chest, and with the sound of Y/N’s nails clacking against the keyboard in the background, he felt at home.

***

The whole day passed uneventfully, spent on typical, boring office work. They’d clash every now and then during the rare cigarette and coffee breaks. It was more to break the tension than out of spite; a practiced routine.

While the ticking of the clock used to be a menacing sound some years ago, now it just meant that the end of her shift was getting closer. Eventually Y/N logged out of the system, leaning back on her chair as she scanned over her few belongings on the desk.

One would think that spending most of her days for several years here, she'd have more knick knacks lingering around, but her desk was neat. Almost like a brand new working space. Y/N believed there was no need for additional chaos in her space.

As she stood up, throwing the coat over her shoulders, Raymond didn't move or look up, focused on his tasks, or at least he made himself look like it.

He almost never finished his work when others did. Some people in the office even wondered whether he’d spend his nights there sometimes. So it wasn't new to see him remaining seated as Y/N zipped up her coat, gathered her belongings, and shoved them in her purse before heading out. No words were said as the door shut behind her.

Only when complete silence filled the room did Raymond allow himself to relax a little. He slumped into the armchair as he tilted his head back, closed his eyes and breathed deeply.

Subconsciously, he regretted how the sweet scent of her perfume faded away when in her absence.

***

Y/N couldn't help but feel bitterness. She remembered the time when she felt relief arriving home. That feeling was long gone once the hope of turning the apartment into an actual home faded. It was hard to make peace with, but there was nothing she couldn't handle.

Not anymore.

Y/N took a long shower and changed into more comfortable clothes. Subconsciously she skipped the kitchen, as she didn't feel like eating anything.

Wine was another story though, Y/N thought, chuckling when she grabbed her favourite kind. Not bothering to get a glass, she headed to the living room and settled onto her couch. She took her sweet time drinking, smoking, and letting herself dive into her chaotic and melancholic thoughts. Driven by the sour feeling on the tip of her tongue, Y/N pulled out her phone and scrolled to the unanswered message that had been sitting there for longer than it should have. She finally typed her reply.

“Okay, one date. Tomorrow 8 PM” she sent, tossing her phone aside before she'd change her mind.

A deep sigh left her lips, followed by a chuckle. What a mess.

***

“Fuck!” Raymond exclaimed, followed by a hiss when the heavy door made contact with his back, tearing him out of his thoughts and forcing him to stop reading the file he was holding. Turning around he noticed Y/N entering the office.

She couldn't help but let out a giggle at his angered expression before shrugging and raising her eyebrows.

“Not sure if anyone ever told you that, but Ray,” she started with a cheeky smirk, slowly becoming more serious as she took a step forward, her hand landing on his shoulder, pretending like she was massaging it. “it's not the best idea to casually stand by the door. You might get hit.” Y/N finished with a mockingly serious tone, causing him to roll his eyes and shaking her hand off his body.

“You’re in a strangely good mood. Found a penny on your way here?” He shot back, matching her tone, narrowing his eyes as she chuckled instead of rolling her eyes as she always does.

“Nope, just can't wait to finish my shift today.” She answered honestly, walking over to her desk and dumping her purse on it.

Seeing her in such an unusual state, Raymond felt a weird warmth which bothered him, like every unwanted feeling did.

“Don't worry, I'm sure your empty apartment and book won't mind if you come back late.” He said, more bitter than usual, seeing the lack of reaction.

“Actually I have plans. I don't know if you ever heard of such a thing.” She replied smoothly, slicking her hair back into a neat ponytail and keeping up the eye contact. Raymond laughed out loud, making her look at him weird.

“Yeah, sure, and I'm actually going bowling later.” He mocked arrogantly, shaking his head lightly and running his hand through his perfectly slicked back hair. Y/N felt the dig somewhere deep inside, but refused to let him see it.

“To each their own, but with your size it might be an issue to hold the bowling ball properly.” Y/N replied calmly, sitting down.

Her words hung in the air as Raymond chose to ignore her.

The entirety of her ten hour shift passed quickly, and before Ray even realized, she was gone. Once again, she left a trail of her intoxicating perfume and her perfectly neat desk.

His own desk, on the other hand, was covered in all kinds of papers, reminding him of the amount of work he willingly put upon himself.

Time always passed smoothly when he'd throw himself into the whirlwind of work. He reread some cases over and over until his sharp eyes picked up on details that an average Timekeeper wouldn't notice. That's why he was the best at what he did.

Sometimes a small crisis got a hold of him, filling his head up with unwanted thoughts about the lack of actual sense in his almost eighty year old life. Raymond would never allow himself to indulge into spiraling down memory lane, as the cloudy moments from his past would try to make their way into the view. Ten minutes turned into an hour, and an hour turned into three when finally he stopped his work. He felt the burning need for some nicotine.

Raymond rolled up his shirt sleeves, took one cigarette out of the box, and settled in his usual spot at the nearby window.

He watched the almost empty street in silence. His arm hung in the air with intentions of taking another drag when he suddenly heard a familiar giggle.

Narrowing his eyes, Raymond focused on the couple slowly walking down the street.

He saw a taller man with a sheepish smile in the company of a beautiful woman, wearing a tight but sophisticated black dress and heels with a denim jacket draped over her shoulders. An obviously oversized jacket. They talked while laughing every now and then. A smile was constantly plastered on her dark red lips.

If asked, Raymond wouldn't be able to answer why his jaw tensed so badly at the sight. He couldn’t explain how the burning in his body overpowered the burning on his fingers as the cigarette burned to the filter. Scoffing with pure anger, he threw the cigarette away before pulling down the blinds as he slumped into his chair.

His heart pounded in his chest and his breathing deepened. Raymond knew he wasn't wrong.

He ran a hand through his hair in a messy manner, ruining his perfect hairstyle.

He couldn't tell what infuriated him more; the way he reacted to the sight of Y/N accompanied by another man, or the way he subconsciously responded seeing her in such circumstances.

Taglist!

@kittenonpluto @candlelover @4ria790 @xsweetcatastrophe @cillianinlove @lau219 @theangelofbastogne @sasha28x @the-buddy-things

I can't tag some people, I don't know why. Sorry. Let me know if you want to be tagged in the next part! Bye!

its cruel to tell us you are going to update in 24 hours to get lost for weeks😭 where are u dear? It would have been fine but u made us expect it 😭

I KNOW! I'm the worst for that, and I do sincerely apologize. A lot is happening right now, I've decided to move apartments and have been working on a bigger project in the meantime. Life gets in the way heavily and it's hard to keep the mood whatsoever steady, especially with BPD.

Today one part will drop. I'm staying up late and will be drinking so hopefully another one will follow. Thank you guys for being around and I wish you a happy new years.

All the love🤘

— roach-works

Hi guys!

Since the thing seems to start raising again, I'm opening my anon asks/normal asks/DMs for questions about the predatory thing that happened at the beginning of 2024. This whole thing was not true, and the two people who began this whole thing (Red and @kittenonpluto) are fully aware of it since April. I've proved myself then, and I'll be happy to do so now.

I feel like there are some people among readers who actually have enough of a decency to see the situation from both sides.

Not a predator, never been, and won't be.

K x

TASTE OF SHAME

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Part four

Warnings: Dark!Thomas Shelby, manipulation, abuse, non-con/dub-con, gaslighting, violence

A/N: The calm before the storm, I'd say. Next chapter will get intense.

Another couple days Y/N spent mostly around her horse. Well, maybe not her horse anymore, but deep down she felt the same. Their bond irreplaceable and no amount of money would change that, she thought, staring into the deep eyes of a particularly tall stallion. His character was different than most horses she got to be around even back then, living on a farm. His dark eyes seemed to be eternally deep as he listened to each word spilling from her mouth. Leaning down to be on the same level as she held his chin gently.

It became their little routine, as she would come to stables before their training, sitting around and talking to him or simply caring for him in simple acts, feeding, cleaning or braiding his mane. It allowed her to keep remnants of the inner peace she once had, untouched.

He was impressive, incredibly impressive to the eyes of people who didn't know the horse from a foal. Calm demeanour, the awareness of space he was taking and something that Curly liked to call royal elegance.

Everyday they spent training, preparing him for races which were coming with big steps. Every small failure Y/N took personally, at the beginning causing her to doubt whether there was enough time.

Enough time to put in the hours of practice so that he wouldn't lose... Or disappoint Mr. Shelby, for that matter. Deep down Y/N was scared, and so she put all the effort she could possibly fit in the small frames of twenty four hours each day until she could finally breathe freely.

”He's fast.” Thomas Shelby stated from behind the gate, startling Y/N. Turning around, she spotted him by the entrance. The signature cigarette burning between his lips as his gaze assessed Inferno. His eyes were slightly narrowed, face lacking any solid expression as he inhaled the smoke, holding it in his lungs for a moment before exhaling while he began moving closer. ”...but fierce. A wild look in his eyes.”

Y/N glanced at the horse, hearing a huff coming from him almost as a response to the words aimed at him. She smiled lightly before facing Tommy once again. Her eyes met his, somehow fearlessly.

”He is good. Will win you big money, Mr. Shelby. I give you my word.” She responded, nodding along as he stepped closer. Y/N couldn't help but get a little defensive hearing his words. She knew the horse too well, and if Thomas didn't believe in his abilities, he wouldn't pay for him so much, right?

The corner of his lips twitched, as if he was about to smile. A small smirk appeared on his face, lifting an eyebrow at the tone of her voice. Exhaling smoke for the last time, he tossed the cigarette to the ground, stepping on it with his boot. Reaching for her face, he grasped her chin, tilting her head up so she wouldn't look away.

”Your word, eh?” He asked, almost taunting. Mockery in his eyes was one of the few emotions he let her see, shining through the icy colour of his irises. She was almost used to it by now. ”Am I to trust you now, Dove?” Her resolve crumbled visibly, her own eyes revealing everything going in her head, which pleased him as always. Even in such interactions she was completely defenseless.

Letting out a sharp breath, Y/N nodded along, biting her tongue before she would even think of saying something back. It wasn't a good idea. Holding her chin between his calloused fingers, Tommy felt the movement and subconsciously he knew exactly what she did. Smirking a little wider, he tilted his head to the side. The obedience in her was alluring, impossible to push away.

Leaning in closer, his eyes moved around her face. Slowly, he took his time, just like in anything and everything he ever did around her. Holding all the control he could afford to make her wait. Y/N felt her heartbeat rising, fear bouncing off of her ribcage at the close proximity he always chose over standing at a normal distance.

It must be one of his sick games, she thought, completely oblivious to the fact he just couldn't help it. The way she bent in every way he'd tell her to, the powerless melting into his power and whims made her almost irresistible. Almost.

His hands felt raw on her skin, the small contact of him firmly holding her chin made her breathe heavier. All the small reactions not going unnoticed under his watchful gaze.

The interaction lasted a couple moments, yet it felt like an eternity.

”What you're asking for comes with a risk.” His words were simple, yet they took a bit longer to register in her mind. Distracted by the way he looked at her. ”Risk you can't afford, so don't make me force you to pay for it, eh?”

Shivers ran down her spine as the vial threat hung in the air. Don't break my trust or you will regret it

Parting her lips for a second, she swallowed her dignity before responding.

”Yes, Mr. Shelby.”

The intense gaze broke, as he patted her cheek roughly with his fingers. Little smile stretching on his tense face.

”Good girl”

~~

”For once you could be specific, Tommy. Linda's already holding this against me.” Arthur mumbled, pulling a cigarette out of his pocket as he smoothed out his hair. ”...and we're still bloody waiting”

John was talking to Johnny Dogs as they all waited for a sign to get on the way to London. Unusually many of the Blinders stood by the Arrow House, four cars parked on a gravely yard as Thomas checked his watch.

”The least you could do is stop fucking complaining” He barked back towards his older brother, already fed up with hearing it. Thomas had enough things to worry about that day, Vendetta being one of the main worries. It was the exact reason why all of them were dressed in the exact same way, every single detail fitting. Brothers not to be recognized in the crowd. Another one of his worries was Y/N, whom he had to take with them, as it was one of the points in the contract he made with her father.

There was no way around it.

”Time's up boys, off you go” He said out loud, pulling his cap on as he quickly got up the stairs swinging the door open. ”Y/N!” His voice bounced off the walls.

”I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm here” She ran down, her cheeks flushed red as she finally managed to get fully ready. Usually it didn't take as much time, but she never attended such an event, and Ada told her to present well as to not bring Tommy shame.

...so she did her best. Dressed in one of the new dresses with her hair put up all pretty. Her look held all the intent, gracefully showing the elegant style while keeping most of her body hidden.

When his eyes landed on her, Thomas felt his fingertips buzzing with the need to grab her. It made him uneasy, the urges, coming and going so suddenly and out of control. Taking a deep breath, he steadied himself. The anger at her for being late suddenly forgotten.

”We don't have time to spare. Get in the car before I make you walk all the way to London.” He said, his voice coming out a bit less menacingly than he'd like.

Y/N nodded quickly, pulling her dark coat onto her body before rushing out the door into his car. Sitting on the passenger seat, she let out a sigh.

The sigh that made his eyes roll, as her scent filled out the car.

Fucking hell, he thought, starting the engine smoothly, not intending on talking to her any longer. They travelled in almost complete silence, occasionally broken with her voice when she'd asked a question.

~~

Getting to London took a bit longer than expected, which allowed the Blinders to gather in all the right places, following Tommy's plan exactly as they were told. Peaky caps sitting lowly on their face, covering most prominent features.

As soon as Tommy pulled up parking the car, Y/N reached to open the door, but before she managed to do so his hand grabbed on her thigh, keeping her firmly in place. Y/N glanced towards him with a question.

”You're going to stick to me the whole time we're there, you hear me? You'll place bets with John and Edward, then return to our seats. No looking around, no asking too many questions.” His hand cradled her skin as he spoke, making her lose her focus for a split second before she responded, holding the eye contact.

”Yes, Mr. Shelby”

A little sceptical for a moment, he stilled, looking for approval in her eyes that in fact she understood before letting out a sigh.

Trust, he thought.

”Good”

...and with that they got out. Speaking even less than usual he grasped her hand, pulling her towards the entrance. Holding her closely they moved up the stairs, passing by other guests before making it to the third level. Four blinders stood by the entrance, chit chatting, and three were by the betting booth. Another small crowd already climbing the stairs before they dispersed to their designated positions.

”Let's put out bets in, shall we?” Tommy said lightheartedly, glancing towards her with a small smirk and teasing look on his face she never saw before. It looked... Strange, but the coldness in his eyes made her realize he was putting on an act.

”Lead the way, Sir.” She responded, mirroring his tone with a shy smile. Despite not understanding what was exactly happening, she was happy to be included and to... Be on the receiving end of his pleasantries, even if they weren't real.

She decided to enjoy every moment of this event, as another won't be around again anytime soon. Not in her calendar, she thought, feeling strange with the strength he was holding her hand with, almost crushing her fingers.

Trying to get her mind off of that, she looked out onto the racetrack after placing the bets and getting to their seats. From that point everything was going smoothly, and Y/N give up on trying to understand the situation, Thomas' behaviour weird in ways other than usual, but she didn't pay attention anymore.

As the races began, Tommy whispered into her ear to not move from the seats at all, just wait for him to be back before he disappeared into the building behind them. Y/N nodded obediently, watching as Inferno shot out onto the rack with all the other horses. The distance was fairly long and the track slightly curving towards the left, making it difficult to see every detail from where she was seated.

Completely unaware of her doings, she rose from her seat, moving closer to the track. Her hands grasping the edge of the seat in front of her. With her eyes wide open she watched with anticipation as her black horse passed by a smaller one, making it to the second position.

Meter after meter they cut through the distance, making seconds feel like hours before finally, his head peaked to the front.

With a loud gasp she realized Inferno won, throwing her hands in the air with pure happiness. Her pink lips stretched into a wide smile as she turned around, realising Tommy didn't come back yet.

To her right she heard a loud chuckle before a tall figure came up closer, from the seats nearby. Man much taller than she was, moved slightly closer, leaning on the short wall separating two sections.

”Am I to understand that the bet was lucky?” He spoke up, his accent foreign to the ones she knew and heard before. His hair was dark and smile bright. He was a good looking man.

”For once” She responded, nodding lightly, and gesturing towards the piece of paper she held. ”Yours not so much?” Y/N asked, unsure of why he approached her, but she didn't want to appear rude.

Taking another step he was right next to her, showing his own paper to the young woman.

Maximus, was written, which turned out to be the horse who made it second to the finish line.

”Ah, I see.” Y/N said with a smile at the dramatic sigh he let out. He was maybe a little older than her, but not by much. A few years top. It was refreshing to talk to someone around her age. ”Well, maybe next time then?” She offered.

”Hopefully. Why Inferno? It's a debutant. Maximus won three times in a row.” The tone of his voice was lighthearted, carrying a hint of curiosity within.

Shrugging, Y/N quickly assessed whether she should, or shouldn't tell the truth. Eventually settling on.. a half true.

”His legs are longer than most horses on the rack. This breed is majestic, and the look in his eyes is trustworthy.” Her response was a bit held back, which hopefully he wouldn't notice.

Cocking an eyebrow, his lips stretched into a mocking smile. His demeanour visibly changing.

”And you noticed it from up here, is that right? Brilliant answer, Y/N.”

Y/N's lips parted as she took a step back once she heard him say her name. Her heart picked up on pace, thumping loudly in her chest as she realized something was wrong.

Suddenly a loud bang came from one of the chambers, chaos quickly taking over the audience as people heard another gunshot coming from inside of the building. The stranger moved quickly, grabbing her shoulder and pulling her towards him, but before Y/N managed to react she was pushed aside, in a different direction again. Stumbling back she looked up, her eyes widening and her face going pale as she realized it was Mr. Shelby who saved her from the strange man.

As he cut between the two of them, Thomas' fist immediately made contact with the stranger's face. He was shorter, but visibly more built, his strength overpowering the other man.

”Shelby” He straightened his back quickly with a grin, his teeth covered in blood as he reached into his holster but not quick enough. In a split second Tommy groaned after hearing it, ripped the cap off his head, using the sewed in blade as he cut across his face.

Y/N took another step back, scared to death as she looked around trying to find someone familiar. The scene in front of her just... Kept going, nobody stopped the Blinder from turning him into a mess, features not recognizable anymore, looking barely human.

As a sob ripped from her throat, Y/N couldn't look away anymore and only when someone else grabbed her arm, she realized it was Arthur.

”C'mere, it's time to go” He said impatiently, pushing her towards the entrance but she looked back at Tommy.

”What about him?” Her voice came out higher than usual, tears still streaming down her face.

Y/N didn't even know when and why she cried. The whole situation was so obscene, the confusion racing through her veins was incredibly overwhelming.

”He'll be fine, we need to leave. Quickly!” He commanded, and she didn't dare to argue. Rushing to the exit, she noticed John was waiting right there for them. Nodding to Arthur they shut the door behind them, running down the stairs.

Everything was happening so quickly, a few Blinders were injured, their suits marked with blood one way or another.

Her lungs were burning from the run, tears slowly drying off on her face. Looking at her hands, Y/N realized that some of the blood got on her skin, and she was marked just as much as other men around her. The wind picked up, blowing hard and cold as she turned around and noticed everyone getting in the car. Before she could ask them what she was supposed to do, a strong hand clamped down on her shoulder, turning her back and a strong body pressed her against the Bentley.

Thomas' face was covered in blood, he was breathing heavily. Unsure whether it was from the fight or maybe running, but he was visibly furious. Almost crushing her between him and the hard exterior of a vehicle, she mewled in pain before his hand wrapped around her throat.

His eyes were completely dark, face strained in fury like she never saw before. Immediately cutting her airflow off, he slammed her against the car a bit harder.

”I told you to not fucking move!” He growled loudly, still wet blood from his hand coating her skin. Pulling her by the throat, he got to her eye level. ”Are simple words too much for your bloody brain, eh?!” She was completely pale, crying again as she tried to shake her head but his hand was too strong. She couldn't move. Paralyzed from fear, it was completely visible in her eyes.

Groaning Thomas pulled her against him, his lips crashing into hers forcefully. Parting her lips and shoving his tongue inside, dominating her in the clear display of power. He tasted like.. blood, the taste alone was making her nauseous, but there was nothing she could do. Biting her lip harshly, he made her cry out before pulling away.

Quickly taking a step back, he opened the door, shoving her onto the passenger seat.

”You asked for my trust, and now you will pay the price.” She heard before he shut the door so hard, she let out a choked sob.

Getting in the car, he started the engine right away, wiping his face with the sleeve of his jacket.

Cry. There's nothing else you can do now

Pardon me - Who? Christian Bale?👀

Christian Bale photographed by Indigo Lewin for the Financial Times [HTSI] (2024)

Thank y'all so much for 1K notes on this goldy! I appreciate every single one of y'all, and hopefully my future work will be as pleasing to read! 😎✨

JUST ANOTHER OF YOUR MISTAKES

Thomas Shelby x Reader

Request made by @justsumtuffstuff: Could you do a tommy shelby imagine where you secretly have his kid but don’t tell him until one day aunt polly sees you and is like “holy shit” but that’s not the surprise, the surprise is you have twins. Just a lot of angst and fluff pretty please? ((:

This fic will have two parts!

Warnings: angst, swearing, violence, grieving, a lot of pain, eventual fluff, smut

A/N: It's a.. heavy fic, so beware. Interact for more

PART ONE PART TWO PART THREE

~~

The land of Birmingham seemed to never change, not one bit. Ever since the first people settled there, the sky hung over them as if by force, never clear enough to see prospects for the future. Robbing the poor kids of dreams, of the loud thumping in their hearts caused by excitement for the good that never came.

It would seem that God has lost his way to Birmingham, not to mention Small Heath. Dirt, smoke and silence that rang too loud when working men would finish their shifts in factories seeking peace in their homes. After all, the human brain can get used to everything.

What was the difference between going to sleep hungry every night, and the relentless churning in the depths of her stomach that Y/N felt? Pain that never let go, waking up along her side like a loyal husband, never ceasing to accompany her throughout the day. Never loosening the hold on her heart.

Oh, how cruel the fate can be, Y/N thought, looking at the white ceiling of her bedroom. One she slept in for many nights too long, carrying the weight of the curse on her shoulders.

Because she was cursed, that one she was sure. Seeing the man she loved more than anything else in the world, losing himself in the grief after another woman.

Because that was the woman whose name Y/N dared not speak or even think. That's who she was, another woman. Embodiment of pain and betrayal of so many promises, taking away the beautiful, blue gaze Y/N yearned for so badly.

God must have been so cruel, putting her through the uncertainty of ever seeing him again throughout the war, and then taking him away.

Taking him away from Y/N, and letting her watch the process. Letting her see the distance growing, the dilated pupils in his eyes after each doze of opium, fruitlessly trying to numb the pain he carried.

Y/N couldn't help but wake up everyday, wondering how different his grief would be if it was her who died. Would he cry? Would he push the other woman away, like he did her? Sometimes the pain felt like too much to handle, but Y/N would never try to pull the trigger. Subconsciously feeling the weight of shame in her chest if she'd ever somehow found out she was right. That he wouldn't care.

So she lived, losing pieces of her heart day by day, warming his bed whenever he saw it convenient.

Until that one day came, that was. Hearing the... Scary, oh so scary news from her doctor she visited in secret. Putting both of her hands on her still flat stomach, she didn't feel anything physically. Yet it was enough to find the strength, buried so deep in her heart.

The love she felt for her unborn children outweighed the love for him.

The tension in Arrow house felt heavier than usual, as Y/N dragged her heavy suitcase down the stairs before slowly making her way to his office. The pain, longing in her heart slowing her down, extending the seconds into forever.

Y/N took a deep breath as her hand pressed down on the metal handle, the loud click echoing throughout the mostly empty room. Wordlessly she slipped inside, walking up to his desk quietly, letting out a shaky breath when she stopped mere inches away from the wooden furniture. His eyes didn't move from the documents he was reading, an empty gaze fixed on black letters despite knowing she was there. Y/N waited for a second, giving him a chance to look at her. Hoping he would.

But he didn't.

”I'm leaving” she said, loud enough to be heard. Silence followed her words, loud like never before as her heart squeezed in anticipation, silently begging him to stop her. To say something. Several moments passed before he finally did, making her heart stop for a mere second.

”Safe travels, Y/N Y/L/N” He responded in a cold, husky voice and for a moment, Y/N wondered who he was, wearing his face but sounding so different.

But the dust settled, just like the weight of his words as soon as she closed the door behind her back for what she thought would be the last time.

~~

Polly's eyes cut through his skin like a blade, her gaze never changing after that one feral day. The look of contempt and disgrace not even a bit different than one she gave him finding out what happened, back then.

”I was hoping you wouldn't be so stupid” She hissed, leaning forward, reaching for a cigarette with a shaky hand. Her eyes were teary, as she inhaled the smoke. ”When you were younger I saw your mother in your eyes. Now, they're full of greed and foolishness. Just like your father's” She spat out with contempt, raising from the chair. Quickly walking up to his own, she kneeled down for a moment, to meet his gaze.

One so empty, that gave her goosebumps.

”I will never forgive you, and... Neither will you.” She whispered. ”But you will have to live with the choice you made.”

Her words echoed loudly in his head several minutes after Polly left... And they never stopped ringing now, thirty eight months later. Thomas counted, every morning to be sure. After sobering up it was difficult to tell days apart. He rarely slept, fearful of the dreams he had at first.

He saw her, she was so close and yet no matter how fast Tommy ran, he couldn't reach her. Out of his reach no matter how hard he screamed or cried. Looking at him with the burning tears he caused.

It took him three months to sober up, give up on opium and... Feel. Thomas wasn't ready for the hellish pain that dawned on him once the drug wore off. The terrifying longing that dawned on him when he felt the remnants of her perfume on his pillow. The lack of relief he hoped for so badly, throwing away every single Grace's belonging he held onto previously, burning the photos and destroying the items, but it never came.

As time stretched, it became more intense. Thomas carried the pain and guilt wherever he went, finding the smallest bit of relief only in his office, searching for Y/N in every piece of England day by day.

Replaying the ways in which he treated her, internally setting himself on fire and forcing himself to feel every bit of it. Because that's what he deserved, to feel and carry the cross he created with his own hands.

Oh how beautiful the pain was, as he'd lean back in his armchair, closing his eyes and remembering her gaze. Her scent and her laugh, echoing so lively in his mind.

...but none of it worked, no matter how many people searched. How much money he spent on the search. Almost like she disappeared into thin air.

Day by day he was dying a little, bleeding through the wounds he so desperately prevented from healing every single time. Keeping the memory of her alive in his mind, not letting the hope die. Because it was all he had. Glimmer of hope. The leader of Peaky blinders became even worse than before. The pain shaped his mind in unknown ways, as the limitless cruelty became visible to anyone who dared to cross his path. Peaky Blinders were unmatched.

Nobody besides Thomas held onto the hope anymore. Knowing Y/N for so long, John and Artur knew she wouldn't come back. Not if her life depended on it. Polly only prayed for her safety.

...and Y/N? She stopped praying once her children were born. After finding out she'd have twins, she prayed every night for them to be born healthy. It was all that mattered.

Not the fact that she had to be using a fake name after moving to Coventry, mere miles away from Birmingham. But she couldn't afford to move further.

It's been.. so fucking hard. Everything. Y/N spent every night crying, begging any God that would listen to take away the pain in her heart. The pain that her babies only managed to lessen. Working as a waitress on nightshifts after accepting the kindness of her older neighbour. Mrs Wilson offered to take care of her boys while she works to help her make ends meet. Y/N had no idea what she would do without a woman she grew to call her only family.

”It's no problem, honey. They're little angels” She said quietly with a kind smile, taking one of the boys into her arms mere days after they were born.

The pain Y/N felt by having to leave her kids every night was stronger than the physical one. Having to work a demanding job after giving birth to keep the roof over their heads.

She cried, cried so much that eventually tears ran out and all she could do was.. keep trying. The two little people by her side were giving her strength. Light that she couldn't see before them, and only existed because they were here. Keeping her own heart beating.

***

”Are you sure? I can take care of them while you go, honey. You know how much I love them, don't you?” The older lady offered eagerly, caressing Nick's cheek with a smile, and a hint of concern while she glanced at Y/N.

”Thank you, but I will take them. The least I can do is spend time with them throughout the day.” Y/N responded, smiling sadly to her neighbour who just nodded along, understanding the allusion.

Letting out a sigh, she put her hands together.

”Be careful, dear.”

Y/N squeezed her hand lightly before pulling away as she held her son's hand, while carrying the other one on her hip.

”Always”

Travelling via train took no longer than forty minutes, and with each passing mile, Y/N's anxiety grew. She hasn't been in Birmingham for a long time now, not looking back.

Yet, because of her official address being still in the Arrow house, she needed to visit the office to complete documentation for boys. She put it off as long as she could, but it was inevitable now.

Despite the negative emotions, Y/N couldn't felt.. better, having her babies with her. The familiar facial expressions or blue orbs were enough to sometimes bring her to tears, but she couldn't love them more. They were a perfect little copy of the man whose name was engraved on her heart. The older they were, the more similar looking they were and now at dashing two and a half years, both boys were troublemakers.

Slowly making their way through Birmingham, Y/N held one little hand, chatting away with Nick, who was more energised than his brother who slept soundly in his mum's arms.

”...and dat?” He asked, pointing towards the building and glancing curiously at his mama. Y/N smiled at his curiosity, seeing how similar personality wise he was to her.

”that's a house” She replied calmly. The little boy cheered loudly, throwing his arms in the air.

"Yaay! Hooose!” He squealed making her chuckle, not caring about the scolding glances from other passengers.

A couple minutes later the other little one woke up, and started fussing because obviously he also wanted to walk now, while Nick wanted to be carried now. Sighing, Y/N put one of the kids down, and as she managed to pick up little Nick, she gasped loudly seeing her son's legs already in motion as he ran towards the crowd.

”Tommy! Thomas, stop!” She yelled after him, chasing him with Nick on her hip who watched the whole thing with his blue eyes wide open. ”Tommy!” She yelled once again, and he finally turned around, stumbling upon someone.

Y/N closed the distance as fast as she could, grabbing little Tommy and pulling him back to his feet, as she checked for any bruises – found none.

”I'm so sorry, i–” She started out, wanting to apologise to the random passenger, but words died on her tongue as soon as her eyes locked with the familiar brown ones.

”Y/N?” Polly stumbled out in shock.

Fuck

Part two upcoming

peaky blinders — 2x06 created by steven knight

—I'D GO BACK TO YOU

Tommy Shelby x Reader

Summary: Tommy and Y/N can't seem to be able to let the other go despite the growing hurt and conflicted feelings ruining their friendship.

Warnings: hurt/comfort, smut, fluff, jealousy, abusive childhood

A/N: SEND ME REQUESTS BITCHES

~~

Have you ever had someone by your side long enough to not remember the time before they came around? Almost like they were always here, through the good and bad. Relationship with no beginning nor ending, a permanent part of reality so dear, you barely ever stop to think about the direction.

The earliest memories Y/N had of Tommy were back in childhood. His small, thin hands covering her ears with eyes wide open as he listened through the old wooden door to her parents break the glass in the kitchen. Their words sharper than the pieces shattered on the floor as he braced himself against the door, silently praying for Y/N's father to not come looking for them. The early years of childhood they spent travelling through the imaginary lands where love was gentle and voices never rose in anger, where the outstretched hand did not mean upcoming pain of impact. Two kids so lonely, as they clung desperately to the presence of each other, holding hands so tightly, trembling from helplessness whenever the world would decide to remind them of cruelty from which they couldn't hide, not even in the four walls they grew up to call home.

As they grew older the definition of friendship became rougher around the edges, proving that no matter how hard you run, you won't outrun the blood in your veins. The uncontrollable rage Thomas inherited from the man he swore to hate, causing wounds that ran deeper than the broken skin on his knuckles after countless fights in Y/N's name, not letting anyone hurt her. Despite the differences they remained by each other, as he held her hand even tighter than when they were kids, not letting her drown in the ways of protecting herself by staying small and loving from a distance, until she couldn't stand it as the definition changed once more.

With a small distance that inevitably grew, Y/N watched him try to scratch the itch which seemed to never go away until he became an open wound, too raw for comfort.

Spiraling into the uncontrollable rage that ran between his veins, hating the reflection of his father staring at him in the mirror. Despising the flesh and blood he was made of, passed down like a legacy he never asked for like the scars on his face. She stood nearby, watching from the other side of his small room, not knowing what to say but offering her presence, too deep in her chase for the love she so desperately needed and never had.

Love from the hands gentle enough to not leave scratches, desperately seeking the fulfilment her childhood never offered.

Like two opposites, they stuck together through the worst years, separated by war just to be reconciled again in the worst versions of themselves.

He came back almost dead inside, and she felt too much. Y/N soon enough noticed the rough skin on Tommy's hands, the wilderness in his eyes dressed in expensive suits. Money coming from pain and blood mixed with gun powder, which he used to sharpen the blade hidden in his cap, one she feared so badly.

It took months for the colour to come back into his eyes, making them look lively, impossible to avoid the glances he'd send her across the table. Eyes watching so intently, she could never miss the gaze that weighed more than any other. Emotions swirling in them, creating a storm she was fearing, seeing clearly that she was the one directly on it's path.

For months they danced around the topic, not daring to address his longing. The lack of interest in other women and attention he couldn't bring himself to give to others.

Oh, how scared she was, knowing the destruction that Thomas Shelby held in his heart. One she didn't dare to reach for, shying almost as if she got burnt.

...and years passed without a word that would matter, just sticking through it.

How on earth was she still here?, Y/N wondered walking through the too familiar street. Passing by the old buildings which held more secrets than anyone could count, yet remaining silent, maybe too used to the violence of Birmingham.

Her long coat kept her warm, and emphasized the legs, causing men to glare.

Coming to a stop by the pub, her lips stretched into a smile, seeing him there, waiting. The little routine which formed by itself between them, as Thomas reached for the pack of cigarettes, offering her one before lighting it.

”Morning” He spoke up in a husky voice, the lack of sleep visible in his eyes, causing them to be paler than usual, as he stole a glance of her long legs.

Legs that he saw completely bare too many times to be able to restrain himself, brimming on the edge of hurt he was so used to.

”Are they inside yet?” She asked, glancing towards the entrance to which he shook his head, inhaling the smoke. Y/N nodded, looking at him with a small smile.

”What?” He eventually asked, seeing the light dancing in her eyes, to which she shrugged, remaining silent for a moment before letting out a sigh.

”He asked me out on another date. Brought me flowers” She confessed quietly, clearly happy. Cocking an eyebrow, Thomas just nodded, taking another puff of his cigarette. The numbing pain in his heart was nothing new, the uncertainty of his decisions making the wound remain open, never healing. He looked to the side, letting out a ragged breath.

”I'm happy for you, Y/N” He responded, causing her to shift awkwardly on her feet as she recognized the feeling in his voice. Stubbing out his cigarette, Tommy nodded towards the door. ”Let's wait inside, eh?” He suggested, his silhouette tense, to which she agreed.

***

A couple weeks later, Y/N realized the shift in his behaviour. Tommy's eyes grew distance, avoiding. The usual.. weight of his gaze shifted, not busying himself anymore to catch her eyes.

He seemed more closed up, focused on business and races which were very important. Looking more eager than usual to celebrate taking over major districts in London, he informed all Blinders to come to the Garrison tonight.

Arthur was more than happy, cheering about it since early morning but only when she arrived, hand to hand with William she understood why.

Amongst the chaos Thomas stood, leaning forward with a smaller hand in his grasp. Playful smirk dancing on his lips as he whispered sweet nothings to a dark haired woman. Y/N had to admit that she was pretty, lips smeared with red lipstick and short curls dancing close to her face with each move. Ripping her gaze away, she led William to Blinders table.

”I'll introduce you,” she offered, feeling the tiny bit of resistance in his uncertain walk, lacking the stride she was used to. Ignoring the nagging feeling on the back of her head she pulled him closer as they stood by the big, wooden table.

”Boys,” She spoke up, getting their attention, ”That's William, my good friend,” Y/N generously offered, as Arthur looked at him closely, quickly subconsciously placing him in one of the categories he had for men in this city.

”Arthur” He eventually offered with a slightly mocking grin as the younger man shook his hand weakly. Y/N pulled some chatter further, interrupted by her companion.

”I'll go... Get some drinks.” He quietly said, eyes dancing around the room in search of familiar faces, finding none, to which she nodded.

His tall, thin frame quickly disappeared in the crowd making her sigh as her eyes landed on the couple sitting by the other side of the pub.

His hand was draped over her shoulders as he knocked back the rest of his whiskey. Fingers slightly tracing patterns as he intently looked in her eyes, listening to her words.

Y/N's pulse quickened while her face remained completely stone cold, looking away as she felt the weird thumping in her ears as annoyance grew rapidly.

”Here” William suddenly appeared by her side, handing her a colourful drink. She looked at it funny, before cocking an eyebrow at him. ”What? It tastes good. Trust me” He offered with a smile, suddenly being way more annoying than before.

Letting out a huff, she placed it on a table.

”Let's dance,” Y/N suggested, trying to keep her gaze on him and not on the table several feet away.

”Oh, no, no, no” He shook his head, taking a step back. ”I don't dance. My back hurts” He lied, glancing nervously towards the big table.

Y/N breathed deeply, trying to calm her sudden frustration with the way he... Just was.

”You know, what? You're right. I don't have much time today, anyway.” She faked a smile, leading him outside and trying as fast as possible to get rid of him before making her way home.

***

Hours later once the party finished, Y/N was unable to contain her frustration any longer. Quickly walking across the city she knocked on the door of the house she knew too well.

Not waiting longer than a couple minutes before the door swung open, revealing Tommy in his undershirt.

”Y/N” He spoke up, before she took a step forward, her lips pressing tightly against his. Her hands clutched onto his shoulders as Tommy reacted immediately, pulling her inside.

The temperature immediately rocketed, when he leaned her against the wall. One of his arms grasped the back of her head while the other pulled on her hip, pawing on her dress. The familiar touch of his rough hands against her skin made her moan audibly, feeling his lips move onto her neck. Sucking and biting marks that she'd try to hide away later, as they fall into the same habit, unable to let go.

”Tommy” She whined, pulling on his belt and ripping it open with need. ”I need you” Her voice came out the same way as always.

Full of emotion. Passion and raw craving for the intimacy they could have only together, in no other setting. He shuddered under her touch, as she pulled him out of his underwear, stroking and pulling on his already fully hard cock.

”Why” He breathed out, as she pulled him onto the armchair, straddling his lap with her underwear already discarded to the floor. She took his breath away with another kiss, hands greedily pulling on his hair as he lined up his tip with her leaking entrance.

”I need you” She repeated, slowly sinking down as she threw her head back, exposing her neck. ”I need you to tell me, Tommy.” She pleaded, craving the roughness, the safety she felt in his strong hands. ”Please!”

Thomas knew what she asked for. She always did whenever they would be close. The first couple times he'd give in without a second thought, hope blossoming in his heart as he made love to her, but... It was never enough. She would never be there when he woke up.

He pulled her closer by the neck, hiding his face against her skin as he shook his head.

”No” He mumbled, thrusting up into her heart, fingers digging into the skin of her thighs, greedily pulling her closer. Needing her more than physically possible.

Her fingers pulled in his hair, tearing him away to look into his eyes. Her own were half lidded, drunk on the intimacy they shared.

”Please, Tommy” She whimpered in a voice so delicate and beautiful, he felt his heart tightening, bracing for the impact he'd feel in the morning.

Letting out a deep sigh, he shut his eyes.

”Please” She repeated into his ear, riding him skillfully just the way he liked. Her hands pawing on his skin less than patiently.

”I love you” He confessed in a choked moan, giving into her pleadings, hurting himself again.

”Again” She begged, feeling her heat squeezing around him, as her words made her feel what she needed. Making her feel like it was just them in the whole world again.

”I love you. I love you so much” He groaned, grabbing her hips as his released came sooner than expected, giving her deep thrusts that pushed her over the edge, as she pulled him closer. Embracing him as she screamed his name, before slowly trying to catch her breath.

Tommy leaned back, breathing deeply as his eyes searched for emotions on her own. Reaching up to her face, still sheathed deep inside her, Thomas grabbed her chin, making her look at him and the pain in his eyes.

”You're hurting me” He said, seeing the storm mirroring his own, as his heart slowed down to the normal tempo.

Y/N felt something shift, as the realisation dawned at her.

***

This time, Y/N fell asleep with him in the armchair, not waking up till the very morning. Sitting up she looked around, realising that she was in his bed, but... He wasn't around. The bedding on the other side was cold, already made and the only thing she found was... A piece of paper. Neatly folded in half, revealing his italic handwriting that brought fear into her heart.

I can't keep doing it anymore, it's too much to be with you but never have you. You have to let me go.

T.S

Reading the small letters, breath caught in her throat as she quickly threw on her clothes, rushing towards the phone and calling around. Asking everyone where Tommy could be, creating some serious chaos as she rushed to one of his cars. Jumping behind the wheel she drove to his office, praying to any deity watching over that he was there.

She could barely think, remembering the way his hands danced across her skin, bringing the feeling of safety she clung onto for so long. Associating the roughness, scent and weight of his gaze on her skin.

How foolish she was, all these years. Settling for having him in the moment and then letting go.

Jumping out of the car she rushed through the door, not bothering to knock before almost flying into the room.

For a longer moment the only audible sound was her panting as she tried to catch her breath. Slowly looking up, her eyes locked with his. Thomas' brows furrowed with surprise, seeing her in such a disheveled state.

”Oh my god, you're here!” She breathed out, straightening her back and sighing with relief. Reaching for a pack of cigarettes, Tommy lit one of them, taking his time to inhale and then slowly exhale smoke in the air.

”Where else could I be, eh?” He asked, his voice distant and rougher. His eyes so unavailable.

But she knew. She understood his stance, and the realisation swirled around her mind as she took a step forward.

”I'm... I thought you'd be gone. I don't know what I was thinking.” She stuttered out, biting her lip. ”I'm.. I'm so sorry, Tommy.” Y/N said, this time quieter as her eyes caught his once again.

”Nothing to be sorry for. Forgotten, as always.” He said dismissively, grabbing one of the papers sitting on his desk, trying to get away from the uncomfortable topic. Y/N wasn't surprised by his reaction, after the humiliation she put him through.

Letting out a sigh, she came up, pulling the document out of his hands, pulling him back and standing between him and his desk.

”Tommy, look at me.” She pleaded and it took a moment before he did. The hesitation made her heart hurt. ”I was... An idiotic dunce.” She eventually said, making him furrow his eyebrows again in surprise, yet the corner of his lips slightly raised. Y/N sniffed, before sitting in his lap and grabbing his face.

”I still am, since it took me so long to realise... And figure it out. I just.. I was scared, Tommy. I felt good around you. Nice and tingly, whenever you'd be around or look at me but it felt so... Different. New and scary, and i—i didn't want to be scared anymore so...” She relaxed slowly into the way he held her gaze. ”So I was running away from you. From us. But I never felt fear so strong like this morning. Like when I thought that you'd be... Gone, and unavailable for me.” Her voice grew shaky as she held his face.

Tommy just listened, his gaze softening as he watched her struggle with words.

”...and I'm sorry for yesterday. I don't have the right to be jealous, because you're not even mine... But I... I'd like you to be.” She added, her thumbs caressing the skin on his cheeks as her own turned pink.

Y/N waited for a reaction but he didn't say anything, so she leaned closer.

”Say you want me too” She whispered nervously, but Thomas just shook his head with a delicate grin, raising his eyebrows. ”Oh, come on, don't leave me hanging after i—” She began ranting, suddenly being silenced by his strong hand gripping the back of her throat, pulling her into a deep, very emotional kiss. She put her hand on his chest, feeling how quickly his heart was beating. Closing her eyes she savoured every second, the seemingly unending kiss making her dizzy.

As he pulled away, his eyes were bright and shiny, lips grinning at her mischievously. Expecting him to say something, Y/N smiled back.

”Idiotic dunce?” He repeated before a husky laugh pushed past his lips making her shove his face away slightly.

”Shut up, Shelby”

Taggin my people: @iilovedonnatartt @gentlebeari @narlytude @honeymoon8 @chaimaarouaine11 @hatethis29 @bruhidkjustwannaread @reiwanwan @immyowndefender @jbrownta

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