Since Joining Tumblr, I’ve Met A Lot Of Young Queer People. Look, I’m A Bisexual Man In A Gay Relationship,

Since joining Tumblr, I’ve met a lot of young queer people. Look, I’m a bisexual man in a gay relationship, and I’m approaching 30. I was still a kid when Matthew Shepard’s story was being covered on the news. I remember thinking, “I better keep my mouth shut about these feelings I’m having.”

And then I met Dominic when I was 12, and people could see how in love we were. And we got the shit beat out of us. The year I met him, some kids in the grade above me held me down against the bleachers in our gym and stomped on my hand until my fingers broke. Instead of sending me to the nurse, the teacher sent me to the assistant principal to explain the situation. She asked why the kids had beat me up. I said, “They were calling me gay.”

Her response was, “Well, are you?”

My, “I don’t know,” earned a call to my parents, and I was outed. Efforts were made to keep me from seeing Dom. Throughout high school, Dom’s stepmother intensified these efforts. He slept in the basement of the house. Although he was an incredibly talented student, he was prohibited from participating in any extracurriculars. He suffered a lot of physical abuse during those years.

The day he turned 18, he packed up everything he had and walked to my house, and we’ve lived together ever since. Things are better, but they’re not perfect. I’ve had trucks pull up next to me at stoplights and, seeing the pride sticker on my car, through old drinks and garbage into my window. I no longer speak to my dad’s side of the family. I haven’t been to see them for Christmas or Thanksgiving in years. One of my uncles had cornered me at Thanksgiving when I was 17 and said, “I’m not going to judge you, but I’d be happy to break your neck so God can do the judging a little sooner.”

I joined a support group for trans and intersex people. When I joined, 40 people attended regularly. Within the year, the group was half the size it had been. Some couldn’t make it anymore, because they were staying at the shelter, where their stay hinged on them agreeing to instead to attend homophobic sermons. Some were put in correctional therapy. Five of them died. Three of those, I didn’t know, but I knew Alex, the 19 year old who was fag-dragged in Kentucky and died a day later in the hospital, and I knew Stephanie, who went home to Alabama to care for her mom in hospice and was beaten to death with a baseball bat by her mom’s boyfriend.

Tumblr is not reality. The dynamic here does not reflect the dynamic out there. Here’s the part where I finally make a point, and it might be extremely unpopular - but guys, value your allies. Value each other. We are met with enough hate in our daily lives to enter an online safe-space and meet more hate from our own, over petty things. Don’t go after one another over every little thing you find problematic.

Learn to see nuance. Maybe the word “queer” bothers you, and you see a gay man using it as an umbrella term. Maybe someone called a trans man a trans woman because they’re confused about terminology, but the post where they did it was voicing support for the trans community. Maybe someone is just asking a question, wanting to learn more. Stop. Attacking. These. People.

Allies are being driven away. Members of our own community are being ostracized. Others are feeling nervous and estranged, and it’s largely because of places like Tumblr, where the social justice movement is quickly becoming violent and radical. I am begging you, stop nitpicking “problematic” things and start directing your efforts to create real change. When it comes to comes to your allies, forget the “social justice warrior” mentality and put down your torch. Educate calmly. Be respectful. Be understanding. Be forgiving. And I’m certainly not saying that your anger doesn’t have a good place - when you are met with bigots on the street, congress members who want to pass hateful laws, violent protesters, abusive parents, prejudiced teachers, that is when you need to be a warrior. That’s when it counts. In the real world. When you have the opportunity to protect people from real harm. Attacking your would-be allies via anonymous asks is just going to lose us ground in the long run. And we don’t have time for that, not when trans women of color are being murdered every day, not when states are still fighting against marriage equality, not when there are politicians in office who believe that trans people are possessed by demons, not when we’ve just lost 50 brothers and sisters to one gunman, not when the media won’t even admit that the attack was homophobic.

Please step back. Look at the big picture. Look at where we are, globally. Don’t just log on to your safe space and attack your allies over small missteps. That’s like washing the dishes in a house that’s on fire, kids. Let’s fight on the battlefield, and when we come home to each other, let’s just focus on bandaging up our wounds so we can go out and win the war.

More Posts from Variusandmany and Others

4 years ago
I Cosplayed Edna Mode From The Incredibles At Holiday Matsuri And Needless To Say I Spent The Day Hunting
I Cosplayed Edna Mode From The Incredibles At Holiday Matsuri And Needless To Say I Spent The Day Hunting
I Cosplayed Edna Mode From The Incredibles At Holiday Matsuri And Needless To Say I Spent The Day Hunting
I Cosplayed Edna Mode From The Incredibles At Holiday Matsuri And Needless To Say I Spent The Day Hunting
I Cosplayed Edna Mode From The Incredibles At Holiday Matsuri And Needless To Say I Spent The Day Hunting
I Cosplayed Edna Mode From The Incredibles At Holiday Matsuri And Needless To Say I Spent The Day Hunting
I Cosplayed Edna Mode From The Incredibles At Holiday Matsuri And Needless To Say I Spent The Day Hunting
I Cosplayed Edna Mode From The Incredibles At Holiday Matsuri And Needless To Say I Spent The Day Hunting
I Cosplayed Edna Mode From The Incredibles At Holiday Matsuri And Needless To Say I Spent The Day Hunting

I cosplayed Edna Mode from The Incredibles at Holiday Matsuri and needless to say I spent the day hunting down characters with capes and getting irrationally angry at them

6 years ago
Source If You Want More Facts, Follow Ultrafacts

Source If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts

6 years ago

If it's not too much, can you do some pick lines that the class 1-A would use on their s/o? If it's too many, you can choose whichever! Thank you, bab!

(YAS! It is my time to shine! Time for cringe.)

Yuuga Aoyama:

Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material. 

Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror, probably for himself tho)

Mina Ashido:

I’m not a photographer, but I can picture me and you together.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I just walk by again? 

Tsuyu Asui:

I find you to be quite ribbiting.

I think we’d be toadally adoribbitble together!

Tenya Iida:

You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line. 

Your legs must be tired, because you have been running through my mind all day.

Ochaco Uraraka:

Even if there wasn’t gravity on earth, I’d still fall for you. 

If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hand.

Mashirao Ojiro:

I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way. 

Forget about Spiderman, Superman, and Batman. I’ll be your man.

Denki Kaminari:

My love for you burns like a Charizard’s tail. 

If I were a Milktank, I’d use ATTRACT on you. 

Eijiro Kirishima:

Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears! 

Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you. 

Kouji Kouda:

I must be a snowflake, ‘cause I’m falling for you.

If I were a cat I’d spend all 9 lives with you

Rikido Satou:

Are you candy? ‘Cause you’re giving me a sugar rush.

Did you sit on a pile of sugar? ‘Causre your ass is sweet.

Mezou Shouji:

I’m no organ donor, but I’d be happy to give you my heart 

You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

Jirou Kyoka:

Call me AC/DC, because I’m gonna rock you all night long! 

Your voice is so a-do-re-ble to mi.

Sero Hanta:

Are you a banana? Because I find you a-peeling

Do you like Nintendo? Because Wii would look good together. 

Fumikage Tokoyami:

Your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.

Shouto Todoroki:

Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile. 

If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizard.

Tooru Hagakure:

My love for you is like the wind. You can’t see it, but you can feel it.

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

Katsuki Bakugo:

Let me tie your shoes, cause I don’t want you falling for anyone else. 

Are you a campfire? Cause you are hot and I want s'more.

Izuku Midoriya:

Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

Of all the beautiful curves on your body, your smile is my favorite.    

Momo Yaoyorozu:

You look so familiar… didn’t we take a class together? I could’ve sworn we had chemistry. 

When I first saw you I looked for a signature, because every masterpiece has one.


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5 years ago

my esteemed rival,

6 years ago

So how would Toshi, Izuku, Momo, Mirio, and Fatgum respond to learning their SO also happens to be the author behind their favorite novels (and the newest novel's MC has a love interest that highly resembles them?)

Midoriya Izuku: Midoriya is beyond excited that he gets to stand before another person he secretly admired, although he’s embarrassed about all the times he’d gush about the novels to you without knowing you’d written them. He very suddenly recognizes all the similarities in the main love interests life to his, including his rise and fall, and he becomes flustered at the thought he was one of the stars of your novel.

Toogata Mirio: Mirio would let out a pleased gasp, telling you he really had no idea that you could possibly be a secret author! He most likely has a few questions as to why you chose to hide your identity, but he seems satisfied after the talk. He did really enjoy the main love interests penchant for comedy, and once he thinks about it, he would wonder if you based the main love interest off of sir Nighteye (he’ll realize, eventually).

Toyomitsu Taishiro: Fatgum jokingly tells you he always had you pinpointed as having a deep, dark secret, except this secret isn’t so dark, and is also no longer a secret. He would like to hear about your writing process, and would even inquire where you got your ideas for the characters, to which you would grow silent and embarrassed, and tell him to analyze it himself to see who it sounds like. He’d understand shortly afterwards and would smile wide, glad he could help you out with your writing career even if he did so unknowingly.

Yaoyorozu Momo: Momo would go a mile a minute as she gave you endless amounts of praise on your writing technique, word choice, and characterization. She almost knows your novels better than you do! She had realized at some point the main love interest shared a few of her traits, but she felt that made the character more real, and didn’t question who they could possibly be based off of (until she realizes you’re the author, and then is left wondering if she really was your inspiration).

Yagi Toshinori: Considering he had to keep part of himself hidden away from society, he’s not at all surprised to find other people do the same. He’s rather pleased to hear that you’re the one behind his favorite novels, but he never would’ve realized the new love interest was like him; he just assumed that’s the general consensus of what a good lover should be, and wouldn’t associate that with himself.


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6 years ago

Anime cliches I miss because they don’t really do them any more

The sweatdrop

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Liberal use of the V sign, even in situations that did not call for it and does not require a camera to be present.

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Falling over because someone said or did something so incredibly stupid it made you lose all strength and will to live.

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When they do the anime face thing

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Making characters squishy

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the dignity laugh

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6 years ago

All Might: I think they [UA students] have had a great year. I feel like a proud mama hen whose baby chicks have learned to fly.

Aizawa: Insteresting analogy, All Might. Chickens are famously bad at flying.


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6 years ago

Ignored

In canon, between the slime villain incident and the U.A. entrance exam, Bakugou ignores Izuku.

In this AU, he doesn’t.

Bakugou is frustrated by his own helplessness when Slime attacked and he takes it out on Izuku.

Izuku is worried that someone else would be a better successor and constantly goes back and forth between thinking, “All Might chose me,” and “He chose me on a whim.”

He keeps thinking he should give All Might the chance to back out but he’s too terrified to actually do it and it makes feel like a coward. He puts himself down a lot and his classmates and teachers do the same.

It’s pretty obvious to Toshinori that Izuku is being badly bullied when he shows up to training with burns on his skin in the shape of a hand.

Toshinori realizes how bad Izuku has it but he doesn’t know what to do about it so he invites Naomasa to meet Izuku. Since Naomasa is a detective, he ought to know what can be done about the bullying.

But on the way to meet Toshinori, Naomasa passes by the school where Izuku is being severely bullied. Toshinori goes to the police station where Izuku is being patched up and Bakugou is facing assault charges.

1, 2


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5 years ago
Joker + Persona Series Appearances (thus Far)
Joker + Persona Series Appearances (thus Far)
Joker + Persona Series Appearances (thus Far)
Joker + Persona Series Appearances (thus Far)
Joker + Persona Series Appearances (thus Far)
Joker + Persona Series Appearances (thus Far)

Joker + Persona Series Appearances (thus far)

Bonus: Joker + Super Smash Bros Ultimate

Joker + Persona Series Appearances (thus Far)
4 years ago

Well I never had the chance to watch Avatar the Last Airbender ever…. which sucks, but.. now it’s on the net flix so guess what ya boi’s doing !!!!!!

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variusandmany - I repost so i don't forget
I repost so i don't forget

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