Valeriannnnnn - Valerian

TME and TMA as intersexist terms: as written by an intersex transfem

I’ve had a few different people in my inbox asking me why I view these terms the way I do. In particular, why I claim it’s intersexist. So, I thought I’d lay out a few examples, so everyone can understand where I’m coming from.

Imagine an intersex woman. She was assigned female at birth by her doctors, and was able to go about her childhood as a woman with no inclination that anything was amiss. Sure, she didn’t experience certain parts of puberty, but puberty was different for everyone, right?

But, later in life, she learns she has Turner syndrome. This is an intersex condition where a woman has only one X chromosome, rather than the usual two.

Soon after she learns this, she finds that laws are being made to attempt to keep trans women out of women’s spaces (often specifically sports) which use chromosomes as a defining factor of womanhood.

Would this intersex person be considered “transmisogyny affected”? She has been raised as a cisgender woman with no problems regarding being ‘clocked’, but she is also a direct target of transmisogynistic laws. She lies in a gray area.

Now, let’s go to another intersex person. Imagine an intersex man with PAIS. AIS is an intersex condition where babies are born with testes and XY chromosomes, but their body is immune to or can’t respond to androgens (which includes testosterone). Intersex people with partial AIS (PAIS) often develop a vulva and clitoris during puberty.

This intersex person identifies as a man, and he was assigned male at birth. However, his body does not produce testosterone, and he went through a feminizing puberty. To the average eye, he appears to be a woman now because of this.

Would this intersex person be considered “transmisogyny affected?” He was assigned male at birth, and now appears to be a woman, much like many transfems. However, if many saw how he looks now, stating that he is a male, they would probably clock him as transmasc. He was raised as a boy until puberty, and then faced astrozcization from his peers when he began a puberty that feminized him. What he was facing was a form of intersexism where transmisogyny was playing a huge part. Does his childhood matter? Can one become TME over time, when they were TMA as a child? Again, he lies in a gray area, where the answer is not quite so simple.

What about the “opposite”, per se — an intersex woman who had a masculinizing puberty? She has aromatase deficiency, which means that many ‘male’ hormones (which would usually be converted to ‘female’ hormones) would remain unconverted. She identifies as a woman, and was identified as a female at birth and was raised, until puberty, as a female. But now, she would be clocked as a trans woman upon looking at her. What does that make her? Is it different from the previous example? How and why? This intersex person also lies in a gray area. How she should be described with these terms is not clear.

And keep in mind, these are all relatively simple examples. All of the examples I listed self-identify as cisgender. But there are intersex people who are trans in any direction you can imagine.

If that last example identified as a trans woman, because she is now clocked as one, would you be able to say she’s wrong for that? What about if she identified as transmasculine, because of her experience with puberty? What if she’s multigender, bigender or genderfluid, and says she’s both transmasc and transfem because of her complicated experiences? Would that make her a TMA transmasculine person? But I thought that transmascs were all TME? That’s how it’s so often framed, anyway.

The reason why these questions are so difficult to answer is because these terms were not made with intersex people in mind. Very real intersex transfems were pushed to the wayside in favor of centering the perisex view of transgenderism. Intersex people are nothing but an inconvenient little afterthought, annoying perisex people with their demand for “inclusion” and “consideration”. (As per usual.)

You cannot simply make a new gender binary and say, “No, really, this time everyone fits into these two categories! Forcing people to confine themselves to these two rigid labels which are shown as opposites, and as never interacting, will definitely include everyone this time!!” No matter what the contents of the new binary is, it’s not going to work, because sex and gender alike are too complicated for that. There will always be people in the gray area.

This isn’t even getting into the fact that these terms, for all intents and purposes, seem to have been popularized by and associated with the Baeddelism movement around 2017, which was essentially “Radical Feminism 2: We’re Trans Women, So It’s Fine!” This movement is known for chronic villainization of trans men and non-binary people who aren’t transfem. (They act like this with cis people too, but noticeably less so than they do with non-transfem trans people. How curious.) Think along the lines of how regular radfems treat all men (and who they deem to be men) as inherently morally disgusting scum who deserve to be attacked.

Methinks that maybe these terms aren’t the neutral, fact-based descriptors of oppression that many people nowadays tout them to be, considering that.

So, yeah. “Transmisogyny exempt” and “transmisogyny affected” as terms: not even once. Listen to intersex people, stop trying to make sex and gender into binaries, and for the love of God, stop drinking the queer seperationist koolaid!

Society: be yourself!

Me as a child: *be’s myself*

Society: ewww omg what is wrong with you! We said to be yourself not weird! We’re gonna reject you and make you an outsider!

Me: but I followed your rule of being myself? Why don’t you like me? What’s wrong with me? Why does everyone else get the rules that need to be followed but I don’t?

this pride month I am wishing everyone a very stop overanalyzing yourself and just have fun with it. have gay sex. don't have any sex. try on a new gender. stop caring about gender at all. talk to your doctor about hormones. go on a date. break up with the person you dont love. whatever it is you have been putting off doing by dithering about it in your head. just do that and fully experience how it feels without trying to put it into words. if you still need a word for it later there will be one. they aren't going anywhere. but people were here before language and there's only so far language can go in giving you a fulfilling human experience. so if you are hiding behind finding the right words for whatever it is your heart wants i hope this month you get the courage to just do it instead.

theres something about being disabled and needing to sit down constantly in public spaces that makes you notice how often benches are put up as tributes and memorials. and before i hit an age where i really started to need them as frequently i think i never fully understood the sentiment but now its become very endearing to me. a bit of relief and care for you in the name of someone who offered us the same… i dont think i had a point with this post but i hope everyone thats been memorialized as such knows how loved they were to become synonymous with respite even to total strangers

How about Xavier's version of br33ding k1nk? 👉🏻👈🏻

You'd never seen Xavier like this.

Usually so composed—every word deliberate, every move practiced elegance. But right now, his breath was ragged against your neck, his hands gripping your thighs hard enough to leave marks, and his hips grinding against yours like he needed you.

“First time,” he rasped, his voice velvet over steel. “And you’re already asking me to come inside you?”

You nodded, breath hitching, your body trembling beneath him. “Please…”

He groaned, dragging his teeth along your jaw. “You don’t even know what you’re doing to me.”

His cock was pressed between your soaked folds, teasing—taunting—as he kissed down your throat. Every nerve in your body buzzed with anticipation.

“Say it again,” he demanded, low and rough. “Look at me when you say it.”

Your eyes met his—burning, intense—and you whispered, “I want you to come inside me. I want you to fill me up.”

Something in him snapped.

He lined himself up and pushed in slowly, torturously, watching your face the whole time. Your tight, untouched walls clung to him, and the moment he bottomed out, he let out a sharp, broken breath.

“Fuck,” he growled. “You’re so tight, so perfect—this virgin pussy gripping me like it was made for it.”

You whimpered beneath him, overwhelmed—stretched, full, utterly consumed.

He didn’t move at first. Just looked at you. Like he was committing this moment to memory.

Then he started to thrust—deep, steady strokes that dragged along every sensitive spot inside you.

“You were made for this,” he murmured into your ear. “Made to take me. To be filled. You want me to come inside this sweet little pussy? Want me to stuff you full?”

Your hands clawed at his back, desperate. “Yes—please, Xavier, I want it—”

He fucked you harder then, each thrust claiming, filthy, possessive.

“That’s it,” he panted. “Beg me. Beg me to breed you.”

You were moaning now, near tears, pleasure building too fast, too much.

“Please—come inside me, Xavier—I want it so bad—want you to fill me up—want to feel it leaking out—”

His rhythm stuttered, hands gripping your hips hard as he pushed in deep and stayed there.

“Take it,” he groaned. “Take every drop, sweetheart.”

And then you felt it—hot, spilling deep inside you, pulse after pulse as he cursed into your skin, hips twitching with every wave of release.

Even as he finished, he didn’t pull out. Just kept grinding slowly, making sure you felt every second of it.

“Not done,” he murmured against your lips, voice still thick with heat. “You’re mine now. I’ll fuck you again. And again. Until I’m dripping out of you every time you walk.”

"normalize not transitioning" yeah that's already so normal that conservatives are fighting for it to be mandatory. you're not helping. shuddup. normalize transitioning.

being disabled will really have you thinking/saying things like “yeah i’m not really THAT disabled. as long as i take my meds twice a day (and as needed), eat and drink exactly the right things, keep the perfect balance of being active and resting, the weather is stable, and nothing unexpected happens AT ALL… i’m totally FINE! i probably should not even call myself disabled at this point because i’m doing so well!”

if you don’t want to call yourself disabled, that’s fine and it is your choice! but if you’re only “fine” or “doing really well” when a bunch of different variables are all lined up perfectly, then maybe you are not fine actually. just a thought!

heres a link to my first lookbook !!

it features art that....tbh i never thought i'd ever share publicly - but i've decided to be open abt...

i hope you enjoy it ^-^

hi everyone!! your 5th favourite queer yapper on tumblr has excited news !!

if youre into abstract art, i have a portfolio ^-^ you can find it here

alsooo i'll be posting my first lookbook In The Soon™️ on my instagram so take a look if you wanna see ^-^