LOKI!! I Love Him.....

oh... que rico por dios

Breathing Underwater

2023 MONSTER FUCKTOBER October 15th

❀ Merman Sanji x F!Reader ❀

❀ N.SFW ❀ 5.8k Words ❀ ❀ Monster Boyfriend AU ❀ ❀ 2023 MONSTER FUCKOTBER Masterlist

❀ Author's Note:

I'm feeling it Mr. Krabs...

BUT I AM LIVING IT!

I made sure that today was a Sanji day for @sunshineting's birthday today! Happy birthday love! Hope you enjoy minor horror/Merman content!

This was another one that evolved *very* differently from what I originally intended, and, as a lot of people saw in yesterday's story, is apart of a bigger universe. I like relating some of these stories together that aren't getting more than one part, it's fun to give you guys little Easter Eggs to find 💖

Again, if I start to fall behind, please know that the stories will all post. These will all get done.

PLEASE READ THE CONTENT WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING

❀ As a marine biologist, you travel out to a new research base on a remote island, then find yourself falling for the handsome cook you get close to. After nearly drowning in a storm, he saves your life to reveal to you he is in fact a Merman. However, he is confused, you have had this conversation before...

❀ CW: mild horror elements, TWO DICKS :D, unprotected sex, vaginal penetration, handjob, creampie.

❀ Listen to the Playlist: ❀ Spotify ❀ YouTube ❀

You had arrived at the research facility on the remote island earlier in the morning, greeted by Dr. Jinbe, a tall, heavier-set man with a rather hefty underbite. He was covered in tribal tattoos, as he was a native of the archipelago now being studied for conservation purposes. There were many natural reefs and numerous fish and animals that migrated to and from, almost listing the area as a natural wonder.

Dr. Jinbe gave you a tour, it was a pretty standard basic layout. The lodgings were more traditional huts, as were the docks, but the labs were retrofit storage containers recycled and made into buildings. The mess hall was a strange mix between the modern storage containers and the traditional buildings of the area, and Jinbe slapped you on the shoulder as he laughed.

“This is where everyone comes to unwind.” He motioned around the space, “There are only about fifteen researchers at the moment, but this is the only place big enough for meetings and announcements. Breakfast starts at 0530 and is served until 0900, lunch 1130 to 1320, and the dinner bell is at 1800 until nothing’s left. But my nephew keeps everyone pretty well-fed,” the jovial man looks across the room to a tall, blond man who looks like he was taking something out of an oven in the open kitchen, placing it on a cooling rack on the counter, “Ah, just in time. Fresh muffins.”

Leading you over to the serving bar that separated the kitchen space from the rest of the mess hall, the strong smell of baked bananas with spices filled your senses. Dr. Jinbe leaned across the counter to grab a muffin directly out of the tin, tossing it back and forth between his hands and making noises as he mumbled, “Hot! Hot! Hot!”

The blond man behind the counter in the kitchen turned to glare at him slightly, cocking a strangely curled eyebrow, “How many times do I have to tell you to wait, Uncle Ji?”

“What’s the point in that, little bubble?” Jinbe laughed richly, finally putting the muffin on the counter while blowing on his hands, now a slight red color, “Wanted to get mine now before they were all gone.” He was met with an eye roll from the cook.

You giggled at their exchange, bringing the cook’s attention right to you. He blushed deeply and smiled brightly, ready to introduce himself as you repeated, “Little bubble.”

The blond man looked crushed, as if his body turned to stone and began to crack. Dr. Jinbe laughed loudly, moving to the other side into the kitchen to pat the man rather harshly on the back, “Come on now, bubble. Chin up. This is our newest member for the time, Dr. Y/N,” he motioned to you and then looked to you with his big, toothy grin, “Y/N, this is my nephew, Sanji. Our previous cook retired, and he stepped in to take care of us, but it took a lot for my brother-in-law to give him up from that fancy little hotel he worked at.”

“Not a hotel,” Sanji’s body lurched forward, being slapped on the back so harshly, “It’s the Foxtail Inn. Besides, my old man roped Thatch in. He’s not that put out.”

It was already hard to not smile in the presence of your fellow doctor, but something about the two of them together caused you to grin ear to ear. You caught Sanji watching you, smirking with a shade of pink to his cheeks as you waved slightly to him, “It’s nice to meet you, Sanji. I look forward to your meals.”

Sanji moved around the counter to stand before you, taking your hand in his, “The pleasure is all mine, ma dulcinée. Would you care for a muffin?” He offered you the muffin Dr. Jinbe had already taken from the pan, no longer too hot to handle, causing the man to scoff loudly about how that was his muffin, put it back.

The rest of the research team was just as welcoming and friendly, making the work and schedule much easier to work with. You specialized in sharks, but with all the biodiversity and activity in the reefs, you felt like every day was a new discovery. It was great to work with others who were happy and excited about their research, a huge change from the location you used to work at. There were a few rules to always follow: No solo dives, always keep a radio on you at all times, and specimen names come from the name jar. Yes, there were far more complicated rules than that, but those were the ones everyone followed and stressed. The last was not your favorite, as when you tagged thrasher shark 312, you had to name it Herman.

Day in and day out, the general routines were mundane, but the comradery of those around you and the enthusiasm for the work made it worth it. All of the good food was a bonus. For a semi-remote research facility on the fringe of civilization, Sanji managed to keep a well stocked kitchen and made use of any and all supplies he got. Nothing went to waste on his watch and it kept all the meals interesting, and bellies full. You constantly joked with the cook that you may have actually been gaining weight on the job for once, which he replied with how you still looked prettier than the sunset anyway.

Sanji always had a way with words when it came to the female researchers. There weren’t many of you, and while the others always rolled their eyes at him, he made you laugh. You found him charming in his own way, but you had learned a long time ago to not mix business with pleasure when working out so remotely. Things never really worked out that well, as you had experienced firsthand yourself, but were also aware of how quickly STDs could travel around the facility if you weren’t careful.

Still, Sanji’s flirting was usually just sugarcoated words, flowery descriptions of your face in comparison to beautiful objects, and words that you were pretty sure were French. He would often hold your hand while saying these things, or give you and the other female researchers a larger portion of dessert than he would the men. Sometimes it would spark arguments, but when the cook would threaten to take away their ability to get seconds, that would usually shut down any griping. It was harmless in the end, and it mostly just left the men laughing with Sanji later about what a hound dog he was during smoke breaks.

It still did not stop you from looking at him as well. You often found yourself sitting in the kitchen with him early in the mornings as you tried to wake up, watching him cook breakfast for everyone alone. He hummed as he cooked, enjoying his work just as much as you enjoyed yours. Sanji was a delight to be around, though some of that was your kindling crush you poorly attempted to keep at bay, but his passion for food and creation also kept your attention. The two of you became closer over time, talking with him about your work as he discussed new recipes and ideas with you.

Some months into your stay, you and a few of the other researchers had gone out to track the migration patterns of different fish to compare to last years’ data to now. However, when you resurfaced, you found the boat gone, your radio not connecting, and your tank low on oxygen. The swim was far, but you were an experienced swimmer and diver. You could totally make it.

Until you couldn’t.

As if things couldn’t have been worse, the tropical storm the facility had been tracking to not make landfall until tomorrow moved faster, and you were struggling against the swell of waves that it was bringing in with it. You tried your best to keep your head above the water, feeling as though you were swimming in place. No matter how hard you swam, the land seemed further and further away.

Your arms ached, your legs screamed. Every muscle and joint in your body burned. Panic set in, breathing in seawater with nearly every breath, spending just as much energy coughing it out as you were trying to stay afloat.

This couldn’t be the end.

This can’t be the end.

As your body gave out and you began sink further down, you could see the flashes of lightning above the surface of the water. The churning and crashing waves made the lights dance as the last of the air from your lungs left your mouth, vision fading as you watched them float to the surface.

You barely made out the hand reaching for you when you closed your eyes, feeling nothing as it wrapped around your wrist.

When you woke to the warmth on of the sun on your face, you could barely remember what had happened. The feeling slowly came back to the surface of your skin over your body as you heard a man humming next to you. His voice was far too familiar for you to not recognize Sanji, feel his arms wrapped around you. Everything felt wet, yet his embrace was warm, petting your hair as his voice shook. He sounded worried, scared even. You opened your mouth to speak, only to breathe out what felt like half of the ocean.

Sanji sat up, holding your face in his hands, “Y/N!? Oh thank god!” and hugged you again, and you coughed and sputtered more. He pulled away, giving you some space to breathe, “Are you hurt? Do you feel any pain?”

As you tried to gain the air back in your lungs, you nodded. Your nerves began to all light up at once, signaling to your brain just how tired and worn out your whole body was from your near-death experience. The sun was far too bright, making it hard for your eyes to focus. Looking to Sanji, you attempted to focus in on his face, unable to move much else with how horribly your body was treating you.

“Ev-everything… hurts…” you panted, keeping one eye closed just to try and look at him. The full feeling of your arms came back first, able to slightly move one just enough to block the sun with your hand, “H… how… long was I out?”

Sanji touched your face, his becoming more detailed in your vision. His blond hair was wet and dripping, sticking to his forehead, parting just at one of his curly eyebrows. There were light blue scales that shimmered through the sand stuck to his face, and his ears looked like fins. You could feel your face contorting in confusion as you looked into his usually bright blue eyes that were now larger, and black around the irises.

“Not even an hour,” as he spoke, you could see the sharpness of his teeth, like that of a shark’s—you should know, you studied them enough— “The storm moved in alarmingly fast, but as soon as we came to shore, it dissipated. No idea why, but I’m sure we can find out once we get back.” He must not have noticed you staring, fixated on his face as he brushed your hair out of yours, “What were you doing out there like that, Y/N? You know better than to go out alone.”

“I… I was left. When I surfaced, the boat was gone.” Your breathing had finally started to level out, though still ragged, “But, um… Sanji?”

“Yeah?”

Lifting your head a bit, you looked at him closer, then moved your eyes down the rest of his body, looking him overly slowly as you took in his bare chest with a smattering of the same blue scales around his face, down to the long fish tail where his legs should have been.

“You’re a fish.”

“That’s racist.”

“You have a fin. Multiple fins. Fins.”

“How else could I get to you so quickly?” he looked to his lower half, wiggling it about before looking back to you quickly, “You’ve seen it before.”

Your eyes went wide, slowly attempting to sit up, “I am pretty sure I would remember you being a Mermaid. I died in that storm, didn’t I? Like… this has to be a dream of some sort.”

“MerMAN,” he glared, then suddenly Sanji looked at you confused, “Uh… wait. So we didn’t go on that walk last week?”

“What walk, Sanji?” weakly, you threw your arms up in response, “What day last week?”

His face dropped, and so did the fins, “Last Tuesday! We walked on the beach. You told me you liked me. I told you my secret. We made out…” his eyes averted from yours, a pink hue across his face that really made his scales stand out more. Rubbing the back of his neck, he turned his head away, coughing a little himself in his embarrassment, “Did you hit your head on something in the storm? How could you not remember?”

Last Tuesday evening you were with one of the night teams with the ship and submersible studying the night states of some of the coral. Sanji packed the team a dinner on the ship and most of you slept out there in shifts. You did not return until morning. Who the heck did Sanji talk to?

“Sanji,” you placed a firm hand on his shoulder—or at least as firm as you could in your current condition, “I wasn’t even here at the base last Tuesday. And if I had told you I liked you and kissed you, don’t you think I would have done more to show you that since then?”

He grit his teeth a bit, fiddling with his hands as he looked down, then up to you sheepishly, “I… know how you feel about relationships on the job. I just figured you didn’t want anyone else to know?” Sanji sounded less sure of himself, his last statement more of a question.

“Wow…” you sighed, falling back on sand, “I knew you were a simp, but this is nearly painful.”

“Hey, come on now.” The blond cook laughed awkwardly, “This isn’t funny, you know.”

“I mean it,” you looked to him again, not getting up from the sand, “While I do like you, Sanji, I would not lie to you when alone about not kissing you. Something isn’t right, and this is making me worried…”

His already large eyes got wider, a soft grin spreading across his face, “Really?”

“Yes, Sanji, why would I lie about that if it happened? Someone is impersonating me and toying with you! This could be a problem—”

“No,” the Merman leaned directly over you, “You said you liked me.”

Now that you could feel all of your body again, you felt a heat coursing through you. While you had said it, you also did not realize you had said it. Your heart raced in in your chest as Sanji put his face closer, realizing how much bigger he was in this Merman form of himself. He smelled of salt and sea, but not the unpleasant fish smell you may have been expecting, and you swore you still smelled his cologne he always wore.

“I guess I did,” you giggled, half of you screaming about not getting involved romantically with someone you worked closely with, the other half arguing that he wasn’t a part of the research teams, and it had been so long since you allowed yourself some romantic comforts. Plus, he was so cute and this whole Merman thing was fascinating.

Sanji gently pressed his lips against yours, and you did not resist him, pressing yours back against his. Slowly, his soft kisses began to ignite with heat, forgetting that his teeth were so sharp as you never felt them with your tongues pressing into each other’s mouths. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, feeling his dorsal fin that started at his neck and ran down his spine, pressing flat under your your hand.

You broke the kiss, both of you smiling and giggling as you looked him over again, “Okay, so are we going to talk about the fact you’re a Merman?”

“Yes, and?”

Sitting up, you tried to get the sand off you where your scuba suit didn’t cover your skin, “You couldn’t like… get me up to a non sandy area? Just Little Mermaided me and left me on the beach, huh?”

Sanji pouted, “Hey, look, you try carrying another person up the beach when you don’t have legs. I can’t change back that easily…”

The two of you laughed together, finally able to stand much easier as you helped drag Sanji further up the beach where he could dry off in the sun better. You asked him many questions, almost at a spit fire pace, causing him to laugh. He answered as many as he could: Sanji couldn’t keep full control of his glamor in the ocean water, and thus if he got splashed with salt water, he would gain his tail, and walking would be out of the question, of course his uncle was also a Merman; he looked more like a whale shark, though, and no, neither of them were cold blooded.

Once his legs returned, he stood to his usual human height, about half the size of his mermaid self, and you just stared. He was stark naked, but in the moment you weren’t complaining. Sanji glanced down at himself, then covered himself with his hand, “Oop, yeah. I am naked. Forgot about that…”

You both snuck back to the facility together, Sanji knowing what to do as he did this often. While you wanted to demand of your coworkers why they left you in the middle of the ocean just before a huge storm, everyone kept asking you how you were feeling. A cold chill ran down your spine, the account they gave you was they all saw you get back on the boat, and told them you didn’t feel well. They all decided to bring you back before the storm got any closer, and you went straight to your quarters. Everyone was happy to see you up and about with color to your cheeks again. Excusing yourself to shower, you felt like you were going to throw up.

How were you in two places at once?

“Wait, you have two of them?”

You sat on one of the docks, hanging your feet over the side and watching Sanji swim around. When he took his breaks, you two would go for walks and he allowed you to study him, to learn more of what you could about him and his kind. Who was he to deny you? You looked so cute when you were in science mode.

“I mean, I am a shark of my species, but a lot of Mermen tend to have two dicks.” He explained nonchalantly, “I thought you were a shark specialist.”

Giggling, you shook your head at him, “Yeah, non-Merman shark specialist. And forgive me for being distracted these days…”

Sanji and you had started a casual relationship over the last few weeks now that you two admitted your feelings to one another. He was more attentive to you, and didn’t even flirt with the other women anymore. Some had taken note, pouting that you were getting all of the special attention from the cook, so needless to say everyone figured it out rather quickly, though not too many of them really cared. Dr. Jinbe patted you on the back a lot with his laughter and would say “Welcome to the family”, causing Sanji to fall apart in a blushing mess.

On top of that, everyone had started to catch on to the fact you were in two places at once, the second form of you getting caught. It did not actually speak, only repeating things it had heard from you. You wondered how it was able to convey to the rest of the team you weren’t feeling well, but the man who heard it speak at the time admitted all it had said at the time was “sick”. As you went through everything in your mind, you had responded to a neat looking formation in the coral to another researcher on your coms as “sick”, because it did look really cool.

Then there was the situation with it speaking to Sanji on that Tuesday night walk, but you remember earlier in the day you had told one of your female researchers that you liked her (as a friend) with the exact words “Hey, I like you. You’re amazing!”. You were trying to reassure her that there was nothing wrong with her personality, and that her partner could take a hike. She had been trying to save a long distance relationship at the time, and her boyfriend was being an ass. Your Merman lover assured you later that those were the exact words the creature had used on him.

It was like something out of a horror movie, but everyone did their best to keep the creature with your face on lock down and study it. No official on-the-record report was filed, but countless detailed around-the-clock studies were done. Everyone was enamored with your Doppelganger, except Sanji. Dr. Jinbe was also wary, not allowing it to be near you until everyone knew more about the creature, which still seemed to be next to nothing. There were so many red flags going on, had none of them ever watched “The Thing”? How were you sure it wasn’t going to break out and slit all of your throats in your sleep? You had been reassured that all precautions were being taken in the studies, and they only called you in to speak words in an attempt to help it communicate better.

So for the time being, you distracted yourself from your discomfort with in-depth studies of Sanji’s true form. Most of the time, you both just made out rolling around in the sand, other times, like now, you actually studied him, watching him as he caught fish around the dock for dinner that night. He’d catch them and toss them up to you to put in a bucket of seawater you had next to you.

“Alright, alright,” he chuckled, “I’ll give you that. It has been weird, hasn’t it? I mean, it really does look and act like you. But there are differences, which I wish I had noticed the first time.”

“True, I still haven’t figured out if I forgive you or not.” You giggled as he instantly jumped up from the water, holding himself up on the dock with his arms, “You got any other clones of me out there I am unaware of?”

Sanji chuckled, nuzzling his forehead against yours, “Wish I could say so, but you’re my one and only, ma dulcinée.”

You hummed with contentment, rubbing your nose against his, “Your one and only,” you giggled, kissing his lips softly, “I like that.”

Kissing a few more times, Sanji asked you if you could take the fish back to the kitchen for him and run them under cold water in the sink. He would need to go dry off so he could get his legs back and start dinner. You nodded to him and gave him one more kiss, then got up to turn around to go back to base.

It was quiet.

Eerily quiet.

While most lights were not kept on during the day because of the bright sunlight through the windows, something was not right. It did not sit well with you, feeling that cold down your spine any time you looked at the creature that had your face. You heard a groan from the mess hall, rushing in there to find Dr. Jinbe on the ground, and a few other researchers rushing around to stop their own bleeding. Something had cut them all, near fatally.

“Y/N!” Dr. Jinbe called to you, “Get away! It’s out! It got out!”

Your legs froze, knees shaking as they would not respond to your commands to run. There was a noise behind you, turning to find the Doppelganger there. It held a sharpened piece of coral in it’s hand, eyes crazed, face distorted with a mouth that could not even be called a smile.

“One… and… only…” it repeated the words you spoke to Sanji moments before, raising up the makeshift weapon in it’s hand to strike you down with, “ONE AND ONLY!”

Somehow, you managed to grapple it’s arm, wrestling with it. The creature was strong, making it harder and harder to keep it from striking your vital organs. Some of the other researchers tried to rush to you, hobbling from their own injuries. It had you on your back, rearing up its arm again to bring it down for a final blow to your skull.

CLANG

Sanji stood there, cigarette between his teeth as he had struck the creature harshly with a metal serving tray from the kitchen. The creature went down, and you scurried away from under it. Your heart was racing, stomach churning until you threw up in the middle of the floor.

You sat in a wooden dinghy pulled up to the shore with your knees tucked under your chin, and you had finally stopped crying some time ago. After Sanji saved you, a few others made sure it was dead, and after that you weren’t sure. Seeing something that looked like a grotesque caricature of your face dead on the floor was horrific, causing you to run out of the mess hall until you reached the shore. Your lover had checked on you a few times, bringing you water and a blanket, but he gave you your space as everyone cleaned up and treated the injuries.

The hairs on the back of your neck rose up at the sound of approaching feet, but when you turned and saw Sanji, your body released some of it’s tension. He climbed into the small boat with you, putting an arm around your shoulders. He still had a cigarette in his mouth, the embers of the end of it barely lighting up his face in the dark of the night. The moon was full, giving plenty of light, but it was still night time.

Removing the cigarette from his mouth, he held it away as he blew the smoke out in a different direction, “Hey, how are you holding up?”

Shaking your head, you lay against his shoulder, “I don’t know. I just don’t know.”

Stamping out the cigarette in the sand—which you would usually berate him for but given your current shock, you had neither the energy or the mental capacity to do—he kissed the top of your head, wrapping both of his arms around you in the blanket as you wrapped yours around him. You buried your face against his chest, taking in his scent, comforted by just the presence of him.

“It’s okay if you need to cry, ma dulcinée,” he whispered to you, but you shook your head.

“I don’t think I could cry any more if I even wanted to.”

“Should I bring you more water?” Sanji asked, pulling back to lift your face to look at him.

You shook your head, pressing your face into his chest again, “Just don’t leave me alone. Please? I don’t want to be alone.”

He nodded, holding you closer as he readjusted you both in the dinghy so you were both laying back as best you could. Your head was against his chest, and you closed your eyes, listening to the rhythm of his heart as you started to doze off.

“Hey, Y/N,” you stirred as Sanji shook your shoulders, “Y/N, look.”

Opening your eyes, you didn’t realize that the tide had come in and taken the boat out a small distance from the shore. You started to panic, shifting to get up and use the oars to try and get back before you got too far out, but capsized the small boat in the process. Sanji was able to get the boat righted quickly, and you both back in, though obviously now in his true form, and barely able to fit in the boat.

“Um, sorry,” you shook your hair out, straddling Sanji as his tail hung off the back of the boat.

He chuckled, also sopping wet as he brushed some of his blond hair out of his face, “There are far worse things. I just wanted you to look.”

Sanji then pointed with his finger as you turned around to look behind you, seeing the waves bringing in masses of glowing blue. Even though you had seen it before, it still never ceased to take your breath away.

“Lingulodinium polyedra,” you sighed, smiling as the masses of bioluminescent plankton drifted along under the boat, bringing an ethereal light that now bathed you both, “They’re always so beautiful.”

Your lover watched you closely, smiling as you were lit by the faint blue light, “Not as beautiful as you.”

Looking back to him, you giggled, leaning down to lay against his chest, “You know, the pretty glowing plankton was why I wanted to become a marine biologist as a kid. Because of them, I was able to work my way here… then meet you.”

“Hm, I guess I should thank them then,” he chuckled, raising a hand to wave playfully over the side of the boat, even though his eyes never left yours, “Thank you, plankton. For my sexy girlfriend. Ma dulcinée.”

Sanji lifted your chin, the two of you sharing a tender kiss. Much like your first, it built up to something more heated, passionate, but now it was hungry. You both had sex before, when you could, but Sanji was wetter than you were becoming, and would not be able to change back anytime soon. When you broke the kiss to ask him about what to do, he merely pulled you back to him, wanting to taste you more.

“Y/N… can we…?” his large webbed hands ran down your body, gripping your butt in the tight spandex shorts you were wearing, “I don’t think I can wait to change back…”

Cupping his scaled face, you leaned in again, kissing a few pecks to his lips as you sat up and pulled your shirt over your head, “I thought you’d never ask. I’ve been wanting to since we started this,” The red color always blushed across his face, even with his scales, as soon as he would see any part of your body naked. He at least stopped getting nosebleeds, “After all, you did save my life again today.”

Sanji smiled, his sharp teeth glinting like pearls in the light, “I have saved your life twice now, haven’t I?” you did your best to wiggle out of the shorts, which was harder to do than you thought, so he lifted you up above him to help, “And I’d save you a thousand times over if I had to.”

Laughing, you managed to strip yourself naked, Sanji placing you back down just below his cloaca, “Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.” Your eyes glanced down at his slit that you knew his cocks were hiding behind, biting your lip as you kept looking between his face and his slit, “So, um… how does this work?”

His large eyes were blown out in lust, reaching down with his hand to take your wrist, sliding it over his cloaca, “If you ask nicely, they’ll come say hi.”

Nodding, you kept running your fingers over his slit, then using both hands to add a little pressure, as if pushing on the sides would coax them out, “Oh, please, Sanji, my darling,” you batted your eyes at him, “I want both of your cocks so bad.”

Sanji rubbed his nose, face red under his blue scales, “Fuck, Y/N… you’re literally about to kill me…”

As if on queue, one of his members slipped out, instantly followed by the other, they were still about the size he was in his human form. Your eyes sparkled at the idea of both of them. Your mouth watered, but your cunt watered more. Taking one of his cocks into your hand, giving it a few strokes, you raised your hips just enough to finger yourself with the other. You both moaned, Sanji calling your name like a soft mantra that kept his soul grounded to his body.

When you were worked up enough, you shifted yourself with his help, taking the cock you were not giving attention to and lining it up with your entrance. Sanji cried out as you slipped down, always reveling in the expressions he made during sex. He was always so honest with his feelings, and his face was just as honest with his pleasure.

Riding him up and down slowly, you both panted as the boat rocked with your motions, not enough to capsize again, but enough that the sounds of the water was adding to the euphoria of the moment. Sanji’s webbed hands moved up to play with your breasts, pulling and tweaking your nipples exactly how he knew you liked. It caused your pussy to clench and shiver around him, adding to the pleasure.

You kept playing with his second cock, teasing it in the ways you had learned drove Sanji crazy. He gripped your hips, thrusting up into you in a frenzy, unable to control himself. Shifting your hips just enough, you angled just right to rub your clit against his second cock as you stroked him. Both of you threw your heads back, crying out in bliss as you felt him cum both in your pussy as your orgasm clenched and gushed around him, and his other cock came all over your hand and his chest.

It was hard to move at first, still feeling him twitching and convulsing as you looked down to him with a wicked grin, raising your hips to tease his second head at your entrance.

Sanji’s whole body shuddered, gripping your hips to hold you in place, “Y/N, hold on, I can’t—”

Biting your lip, you slid your hips just enough to take some of his extra sensitive head into your cunt with the other. However, the noise that escaped Sanji was akin to a cartoon character falling off a cliff, bucking his whole body in a way that caused the whole boat to capsize again.

Resurfacing, you spit seawater out as he surfaced and coughed, his hair now covered in the glowing plankton.

“I warned you.”

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I did some designs of thomas without the mask ✨✨

This is not the official design since my style changes a lot 😩

He’s Johnny Bravo

im bout to be his first girlfriend im bout to be his only girlfriend im bout to be his WIFE

me joining hellfire just bc I think Eddie is hot but have no idea what dnd is

Kiss, Marry, Kill: Part 1/2 (LA!Buggy the Clown x F!Reader)

Summary: In which Buggy overhears a private conversation and uses that knowledge against you. Pairing: LA!Buggy the Clown x F!Reader Rating: Semi-explicit. Word Count: ~3k (of 5.3k) Warnings: Clown abuse, strong language, incorrect use of a straight razor.

Never had you on my mind Now you're there all the time Never knew what I missed until I kissed ya

---

By all accounts, Buggy should be having a great time. There's food, alcohol, gambling... hell, there's even a swimming pool. Not that he can partake, but he can live vicariously.

Instead, he's got a whole school of shark eyes trained on him as he sits on a stool next to Arlong's throne. This water park sucks.

He's not chained up or anything. The threat of a couple dozen sets of teeth ripping into him is reason enough to sit perfectly still, keep his mouth shut, and try to look as small as possible. No sudden movements, no change in expression, no—

"Kiss the clown, marry the waiter, kill Pink Hair."

Buggy sits bolt upright and looks around. Who the hell said that?

Arlong doesn't even deign to look at him. "Hear something?"

Clear. Crisp. With a little bit of an accent, maybe. He's heard it somewhere recently, but where?

Certainly not here. It was a woman's voice, and Arlong Park is a bit of a sausage party at the moment. Not that he can tell on sight with fishpeople.

"Answer me, clown," Arlong rumbles.

He forgets who he's talking to for a moment. "Eavesdropping's an art," he snaps. "You can't rush art."

Big mistake. Arlong responds with a low, wet growl. "It's been three days. My patience is running thin."

Quiet chatter. The clinking of silverware. Someone chewing with their mouth open. The little pirates are at a restaurant, it seems.

He relays this to Arlong. He's less than pleased. He enunciates every word to show his teeth. "Care to be more specific?"

A shudder crawls up the back of Buggy's neck. He takes a swig of his drink to cover it. He places his fingers over his remaining ear, straining.

"You're shitting me." That voice he recognizes. The redhead. The one who ruined his show. The one Arlong's so interested in. Nadi? Nani? Noni?

The other woman speaks. "Nami, you rejected him," she says. "Girl Code only applies if you were dating."

Nami. That's her, the conniving little bitch. "No, not the waiter. I mean you'd seriously kiss the clown? He nearly killed us."

He'd recognize Rubber Boy's voice anywhere, the little shitheel. "And his nose would get in the way."

The mystery woman speaks up again. "That's nothing new. I’ve smacked noses with plenty of guys."

Okay, that narrows it down. It’s not the redhead, it can't be Rubber Boy or the bounty hunter, so that leaves...

...you. Of course it's you. How could he forget you? You're the only one who laughed at Axe-Hand Moron. Granted, it was more like a snnrrrk and you immediately clapped your hand over your mouth, eyes wide with horror, but it was a laugh all the same.

And in that moment, he knew he liked you. Bad sense of humor. Cute smile. A little bashful. He appreciates that. Sure, you helped humiliate him not an hour after the fact, but all's fair in love and piracy.

"Look, I'm not saying it’s a good idea," you continue, "but sometimes you gotta live dangerously."

The bounty hunter speaks, dry and droll. "Storms are dangerous. Bar fights are dangerous. You're just insane."

"Oh, c'mon, you're not seriously gonna hold Fu..." You pause. "Kiss Marry Kill answers against me."

So that's what's going on. "They're just chattering like they always are," he says to Arlong.

Arlong does not like that answer. He snatches Buggy up by the neck, lifting him clear off the ground with only one hand.

"Wait! Wait wait wait! They're still talking! I might have something!" He kicks and struggles, but it's no use.

You speak. "You think everything pops off? ‘Cause a gal could really— hyurk.”

Laughter all around as you’re cut off by something. Sounds like you choked.

“Thank you, Usopp,” Nami says. “I am not having that conversation.”

Arlong saunters over to the pool, carrying Buggy like a ragdoll. He has precious few seconds now. C'mon, he wills them, say something useful!

A slap, a spit, then a couple of hard coughs. “Nice shot,” you wheeze. “Use the unspicy peanut next time. I think I burned my windpipe.”

The new guy — Usopp — scoffs. “Spicy? Please. This isn’t spicy. Baratie spicy is barely a zip. Now, you want spicy, you gotta hit up the Great Pepper Isles. Their chilis are so hot, I had an out-of-body experience.”

And boom, there it is. Right as he's about to be dropped into the water, his ticket to life.

“Baratie! They're at Baratie," he chokes out. "That floating restaurant. That really nice one I got thrown out of, the pricks."

It was Cabaji's fault. Turns out whipping a unicycle out at the bar is frowned upon. Who'd've thunk.

Arlong 'smiles.' All teeth and gums and no mirth at all. "Consult our charts," he says to the nearest fishman. "I'll prepare our compass."

He grabs Buggy by the hair and yanks. In the interest of not getting his neck broken, he separates his head from his body. Unfortunately, gravity takes over and his body plunges into the pool.

Weakness swamps him like a rogue wave. He can't say a word as he's stuffed into a cloth sack and everything goes dark.

In both ears, all he can hear are the sounds of laughter.

---

Someday, Buggy will learn not to run his fat mouth. That day is not today.

Usopp barges into the galley and lobs his head through the air, a low slow toss. He only has a moment to appreciate not being overhand pitched before landing on the floor. Not on his nose, fortunately, but it still hurts.

He points at the blonde guy — Sanji? Sanji. "I can't take it anymore. He's your problem now. I'm going to bed. Goodnight."

He tramps off as Buggy flips himself upright. “What’s his problem?” he asks no one in particular. “Sheesh, you make one ‘your mom’ joke and—“

A decidedly unmanly yelp escapes him as he's popped up into the air. The world spins and turns and he braces himself to hit the ground again, only to be caught in soft hands. He's spun around...

...and comes face to face with you, regarding him with curious, contemptuous eyes.

Oh, you're even prettier up close. The redhead's a looker, but she's still a kid. Soft. Pale. Set like a mousetrap, ready to spring and break some poor chump's neck at the slightest provocation.

But you? You're a grown-ass woman. Comfortable in your sun-kissed skin. A twinkle of experience in your eye and the ease of someone who's been sailing her ship for years.

He can't help but smile. "Well, well, well. Fancy meeting you here, gorgeous," he says with a wink.

From the corner of his eye, he sees Sanji shoot him a glare. Your expression remains cool and uninterested. Shifting his head to your side, you hold him against your hip like a laundry basket. Even through your trousers, the soft swell of flesh warms his cheek.

“Weren't you just on buggysitting duty?” you ask Sanji.

Buggysitting? Really? "I'm right here, y'know," he grumbles.

He's ignored, as per usual. Sanji straightens up and huffs. “New guy always gets the shit jobs.”

“Let’s trade,” you say. “You take my watch and I’ll mind our chatty compass.”

Rude. “I’m still right here.”

Sanji shakes his head. “Go get your beauty sleep. Not that you need it, of course."

Wow, that was a bad line. Buggy makes his displeasure known with a retch.

“Sleep is for people who don’t have coffee.” You flap your hand toward the door. "Shoo.”

Sanji glances between you and Buggy, but heads for the door. "Any trouble at all, love, and I’m a shout away."

A little smile colors your voice. "If he starts gnawing my ankles, you’ll be the first to know."

Sanji returns the smile, sickeningly sweet. As he leaves, you sit at the table, placing Buggy across from you.

He wants nothing more than to plant his leg on a stool, lean in on his knee, and give you a toothy grin. But alas, he must settle for the grin. "Alone at last. Come here often?"

You don't even bother to look at him, too preoccupied with picking up a very shiny straight razor and a strip of leather. Muscle ripples under your skin as you slide the blade back and forth.

"So you're the barber," he says. You don't respond. "Can't imagine you're too busy on a ship with a bunch of babyfaces." Still nothing. "Don't suppose I could get a shave, then? Last time I used a straight razor, I ended up like this!"

"Barber surgeon," you say as you inspect the blade. Dissatisfied with some invisible blemish, you continue stropping.

He shrugs, only to remember he can’t. "Say, doc, I can't feel anything below my neck. Could you take a look?”

Irritation tints your voice. “Not a doctor,” you say. You’ve clearly had to explain this countless times before. “Doctors treat the inside. I fix up the outside.”

“Splitting hairs, Miss Sawbones.”

Shiff shiff shiff goes the razor. "If you don't stop talking, we’re gonna see if cutting off the nose really does spite the face. Might be an improvement for you.”

That’s just low. “Keep talking shit and this bark is gonna turn into bite.”

You finally look up. You level the razor at him, glaring down the blade. “You’re the only one talking, clown.”

Damn. Your eyes are pretty. Warm as the first sunbeam of a summer morning, but dark as the blotches he gets in his eyes when he looks into a spotlight by accident. Hot like one, too. Heat lurks below the dark surface, like warm charcoal about to catch fire.

Nerves ball up in his absent chest. He swallows them and summons his bravado. “Can ya blame me? I’ve got shit else to do. I’ve met parrots with more to say than you.”

"Count the cracks in the ceiling."

"One, two, three—“ He gives an exaggerated groan. “Didn't you say you were gonna make coffee? Can I get in on that?"

You scoff, but you do stand. "Last thing you need is caffeine.”

“The last thing I need is to be held hostage by a bunch of greenhorn nobodies,” he says, "and yet here I am."

“Sucks to suck,” you say. You pull a pot out of a cupboard and fill it with water. “How do you take it? Sugar? Cream?”

“Black. Like my heart.”

You let out that snnnrrrrk of a suppressed laugh again. What a nice sound. “Something we got in common.”

“Black heart or black coffee?”

“Yes.”

Such a simple, easy response. Not even particularly clever. But the delivery with no hesitation, no intonation, no second guessing the punchline. He laughs. “I knew I liked you!”

You glance over your shoulder at him. “You try to kill everyone you like? No wonder you have no friends.”

He hops to the edge of the table. Not an easy feat with only a stump. “C’mon, babe. All’s fair in love and piracy.”

Calling you babe was a blindfolded over-the-shoulder shot in the dark, but it lands. You add a smile to your glance. “I’ll give you that and nothing more.”

Somewhere, miles away, his heart flutters. He lets it. “Will you still give me coffee?”

“Only if you shut up ‘til this water boils.”

In this state, he’ll take any scrap of stimulus he can get. He bites his tongue and bites it hard, willing himself not to speak.

Silence creeps in. Silence leads to stewing, and stewing leads to bad thoughts. Bad feelings. Lonely feelings. Like how long it’s been since he’s had a friendly cuppa joe with someone. Or had someone honestly laugh at his stupid jokes.

Especially not someone as quick as you. Or as pretty. Or with such a nice ass. Or who maybe-sorta-kinda-might-possibly be interested in him. Potentially. Hypothetically.

There’s no damn way, he tells himself. You’re humoring him. You’re definitely shacking up with that cook — young, charming, handsome. Or the bounty hunter, maybe — tall, dark, broody.

You wouldn’t give him a second glance. Him, a pathetic, painted, big-nosed weirdo. Who is currently a severed head. A temporary state, but still not a good first impression. Even though his actual first impression was trying to kill you and your buddies. This second first impression is just as bad.

A sharp groan escapes him before he can stop it. He eyes you, expecting you to snap at him or worse.

But you don’t. You pause in your pouring to peer over your shoulder at him, gaze soft. “Y’alright?”

There goes his heart again. Ugh. “Peachy. That coffee done yet?”

You curl your lip. “What’s got your panties in a knot?”

“Just realized I’m gonna need a straw or some shit.”

Still sneering, you set a shallow mug in front of him. “I’ll see what I can find.”

See? You definitely don’t like him. Stupid fucking jackass, letting his hopes get up. This is what he gets.

…A nice, warm cup of coffee. If you really hated him, you wouldn’t have given him coffee, right? Or be looking for a straw?

You’re just humoring him. You just want to save your friend. Catch more flies with honey and all that. He’ll be more agreeable if you’re friendly.

Across the room, you open a drawer. “Hey, bendy straws. Perfect.”

You’re breaking out bendy straws for him? There’s gotta be something there! At least a little something!

No. No way. Coincidence.

You place an oddly long straw into the mug. He realizes it’s three normal ones jammed end-to-end, creating a pipe ending just about level with his mouth.

You just pulled some engineering shit so he can drink coffee with you. There’s definitely something.

An ice cube plops into the mug and you slide back into the booth with your own cup. “Might dilute it a bit, but can’t have you burning your mouth.”

His distant heart flips again. He has to say something. Before he can convince himself otherwise. He says the first thing that comes to mind.

“So,” he says, “‘kiss the clown,’ eh?”

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. That’s the first thing he thought of? Seriously? He braces himself for boiling coffee thrown in his face.

You freeze mid-sip, brows raised. “Excuse me?”

Okay, you don’t look mad. “Don’t deny it, babe. I heard everything. Kiss Marry Kill? Nice job keeping it kid-friendly, wink wink."

You stare at him with those dark eyes. "No idea what you're on about."

"I know you know. And I know you know I know." He waggles his eyebrows, hoping for a laugh, but he gets nothing.

You watch the steam swirling up from your mug. "What do you want me to say, exactly? That I chose you to kiss?"

"I just wanna know what possesses a woman to make her want to shack up with the guy who tried to kill her and her friends." He lips the straw into his mouth and takes a test sip. Still quite hot.

"Circumstance. Process of elimination. Being put on the spot." You pick up the razor. Your fiddling with it belies your agitation.

"Don't lie to me, babe," he croons. "I can see right through you."

You stare at him. "And what is it that you see?"

What does he see? "A woman on a knife's edge of self-satisfaction and self-destruction. Once bitten, twice shy, but when he comes around the third time, you just can't help yourself."

Your fiddling becomes more insistent. You break eye contact to look at the razor. He's hitting on something. Time to push some buttons.

"You bet on the wrong horse every time. You think it'll be different this time. But it never is." He smiles bitterly. "Something else we got in common. Birds of one ugly feather."

Your gaze softens as you return your gaze to him. "So you found the problem, Doctor Headshrink. What’s the prescription?"

Shoot your shot, Buggy. "Kiss the clown and maybe we'll find out."

You're still for a few moments. Then slowly, carefully, you slide your hand across the table. You pull him closer as you lean lower in your seat to eye level with him.

He can't help the way his breath quickens. It's been so, so long since he had any kind of intimacy. Your reedy fingers trace his jaw down to his chin. Your thumb comes up to pull at his bottom lip, and he lets out a satin-soft whimper as he opens his mouth to you.

You strike like a snake, yanking his tongue out with one hand and readying your razor with the other. His choke turns into a scream as you bring it down, severing his tongue clean at the root.

It's one thing to disconnect body parts. Pop a leg off, drop an ear — he’s used to it. But it's a different story when said part is supposed to be inside of him. His tongue waggles like a fish as he tries to return it to his mouth, but you keep a firm grip.

"You can have this back in the morning," you say.

He wants to cuss you out, but what comes out is ew bihck, whadda fuhck iss won wif ew, gif ih bahck.

You laugh. And lord, what a laugh you've got. Loud, like a party gone late into the hours of the night. Clattery, like a dozen plates shattering on the floor. Full of mirth, like a drunk on payday.

And, for the briefest of moments, his rage is forgotten. He wants to make you laugh like that.

But it returns with a vengeance, replaced with a desire to see you squirm.

---

<<< | mastahpost | >>>

I saw pill bugs on here a few weeks ago and really wanted to make my own! The pattern is a bit rough but I hope it works (I tried to get it perfect for like a week before calling it good enough).

Just print out (or copy from a screen) the first page and cut out the pattern pieces. Hopefully the pictures on page two will help but if not I will do my best to answer any questions!

Hope you enjoy and make your own lil isopod friend!

If anyone makes this, I would love to see pictures 💕

⛥ﾟ・。 sample

synopsis: prequel to pocus -- katakuri's dreams of you come to a head when he learns that the two of you are already engaged to be married. and to make matters worse, your ex-boyfriend makes a rather unpleasant appearance while the sweet commander is picking up his order of doughnuts.

cw: fluff, comfort, angst if you squint, katakuri is katakuri, KATAKURI DOES NOT PLAY ABT YOU, he is twenty-one, you are twenty, for context smoothie is eight, your ex is an asshole, katakuri's got it baaad.

a/n: good golly this man is fine

"C-Commander!" you mewled, the pillow under your hips slipping under Katakuri's relentless pace.

His blunt nails dug into the flesh of your hips, a smirk rising to his lips at the way you were already gone.

His hand roamed your ass, mesmerized by the way it jiggled with each of his powerful thrusts.

Perfect... plump... round...

Seeing you bend over the ovens at your bakery, he knew it would be.

But seeing it for himself?

Squeezing tighter, he kneaded the supple flesh, strengthening his hold as he adopted a quicker, rougher pace.

"O-Oh, yes! Ngh! Kuri-Kuri f-fuck," you keened, the air in your lungs slowly but surely leaving you. "Feels s'good!"

Your cries drifted far past the room, so far that the Sweet General was sure the servants within the maid's quarters could hear them.

But he wanted you louder.

He wanted you shrieking.

He had wanted this for so long, wanted to feel the way you fit him.

Wanted to hear the way you spoke his name wrapped in pleasure.

Everything of you, he wanted.

Needed.

Katakuri needed you.

Somehow, he'd managed to hold out for this long, but his luck wouldn't last with the way you were clawing the comforter, moans rising as he switched angles.

But in an instant, it was all snatched away.

Breathless, Katakuri shot straight up in his bed, heart thundering in his chest.

Swallowing thickly, he quickly glanced down at his lap, his cum hot and sticky against his skin, and his half-chubbed length angrily confined by his boxers.

It happened again...

A faint flush of pink rose to his cheeks at the sight, the Yonko commander swiftly brought back to the countless other nights where he had awoken to the same scene.

There was something about you, something about your presence that instantly returned him to his teen years—where an ass and a couple of moans could make him cum in his pants.

God, this was wrong.

You were so kind, so sweet, yet his dreams consisted of nothing but ruining you for any and every other man to follow him.

Unable and unwilling to reckon with what your image had just done to him, he settled for flopping back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling with a blank, annoyed look.

How the hell was he going to face you tomorrow?

"Ah, Commander!" you beamed, warmly waving to the man as he entered through your large door. "I was just about to send Kota."

Quickly, you scurried toward your display case, pulling out the tray with ten, normal-sized doughnuts of varying flavors.

"I've got the samples you ordered right here. Freshly glazed."

Silently, the man nodded, fighting off the flush threatening to rise to his ears as he crossed his arms over his chest.

He avoided all eye contact with you, making a point to look anywhere but your smiling face as he leaned against the wall.

Every time he met your gaze, images of last night would flash in mind, further adding to the pit of guilt already sinking in his chest for thinking of you in such a way.

It made him feel dirty, and suddenly undeserving of your kindness

"Kota, come box these up for me, yeah?" you called, your young apprentice quickly scurrying to your aid.

"Yes, ma'am!" he nodded, carefully taking the tray before returning to the back room

His eagerness made you smile, the sight intensifying the rhythm of Katakuri's heartbeat as he watched you return to your work.

"I know it's not your usual, but I think you'll like the new blueberry lemon doughnut I made this morning," you attempted to strike up a conversation, going back to glazing the rest of the morning's doughnuts. "Smoothie came by earlier and said it's her favorite so far."

Katakuri hummed, seemingly uninterested in what you had to say as he glanced around your huge bakery—the size was accommodating to commoners as well as those of his height.

Confused, your face slightly fell, unsure of what you did to warrant such a cold response.

Sure, the Minister of Flour was not the warmest person you'd ever met, but he certainly wasn't this icy.

Especially not to you.

You figured the both of you were far past this stage, having gone through the whole "stoic and silent" rigmarole months ago.

It took ages to get the Minister of Flour to warm up to you even a little bit, but when he did?

The change was like night and day.

He turned off his observation haki for the first time in...well, who knows how long.

He allowed himself to participate in easy conversation.

Hell, once you could've swore he let out a quiet chuckle at a joke you made.

But all of that seemed to be completely gone now, as if it were never there.

You were one of the Big Mom Pirate's closest and most trusted personal bakers, so you had dealt with your fair share of volatile personalities.

But his was odd, even for a Charlotte.

Just then, the bell on your door let out a delightful little jingle, snapping both yours and Katakuri's attention to the familiar face walking in.

Your eyes went wide, before your brows quickly furrowed in an unsavory scowl.

"Get out."

At that, the man laughed, amused by your somewhat poor attempt at intimidation.

"That's how it is? No hello or how are ya?" he sneered, slowly walking up to the counter.

"Get the hell out of here, Gino! I told you I never wanted to see your face again!"

"(y/n)... baby... c'mon... you really meant tha—?"

"Every damn word," you swiftly answered, taking a large, tentative step back as he continued to approach. "Don't come any closer!"

"Or what? You'll bake me to death? Turn me into a jelly doughnut?" he smirked, mockingly.

You scoffed, quickly turning around and rushing into the backroom, "Kota! Get my bat!"

Annoyed, Gino let out a harsh sigh, moving to lean against the counter before glancing at the Sweet Commander.

"Women, amiright?" he griped, rolling his eyes as he pointed his thumb in your direction. "All this drama for what? Gimme a few minutes to talk and she'll be crawlin' back in no time."

He chuckled to himself, seemingly proud of this "fact".

"She always does."

A vein bulged in Katakuri's forehead at the statement, the furrow in his brows deepening and muscles tightening in an instant.

As he watched your interaction, he waited patiently, gauging your reaction to the man and the danger level in order to plan his response accordingly.

'Looks like they had some sort of romantic relationship... an ex-boyfriend, perhaps?'

Audibly, you were rummaging around in storage, frantically searching for your father's prized baseball bat.

'If she feels such a need to arm herself, then he must have a history of violent behavior... an interaction like this must've turned physical before.'

The man's jaw clenched at the thought, a certain feeling bubbling in his stomach the he had never felt before.

It made him want to gag and flay Gino's remains after a Mochi-flavored beat-down.

'It's settled then.'

"Hey, I just realized... aren't you the—?"

Without hesitation, Katakuri cut off his sentence, his mochi arm wrapping tightly around the scumbag's neck before hoisting him in the air and dragging him forward, until he was finally at his level.

"I am only going to say this once. Fail to follow direction and I will not hesitate to kill you along with your entire family... understand?"

Frantically, the man nodded, utterly wracked with fear.

"Good... now, when I release you, you are going to take the first ship off Whole Cake, continuing to travel on until you make it to Cacao Island. There, you will effectively leave Mama's territory and begin your pitiful attempt at surviving in the New World without her protection."

His grip tightened, further constricting the man's airflow as he continued on.

"If you do not get on that ship, I will know. If you turn around, I will know. If you do not reach Cacao Island by the end of the day, I will know."

Suddenly, an imaged of you flashed in his mind, reminding him of the ultimate reason for his fury.

"And if you so much as look at... think of... or utter my fiancée's name in my presence again... I will see to it personally that your body is put six feet under the ground."

Pulling him closer, Katakuri didn't stop until his face was right in front of Gino's, his fiery, ruby red eyes blazing fiercer than the pits of hell.

See, what Gino couldn't have possibly known was that last night the Sweet Commander had attended an emergency summons from his mother, where he learned that he was engaged to be married to one of Whole Cake Island's most eligible bachlorettes.

You.

Of course, it was a strictly political contract between his mother and your father, and given your rather normal reaction to seeing him in the shop today, he figured your father had failed to tell you yet about the arrangement.

But even still... he now had a responsibility to you.

A responsibility he would not take lightly.

"Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?"

Unable to speak, Gino simply nodded in agreement, practically paralyzed with fear.

With that response, Katakuri swiftly tossed him to the ground, allowing the man to scurry to his feet like the vermin he was.

"Good... now get out of my sight."

The Sweet Commander didn't even fully finish his sentence before Gino was already on the run, sprinting toward the nearest port like a madman.

The sight almost brought a smile to Katakuri's face, were it not for his haki predicting your well-timed approach.

"All right, asshole, you wanna try me now!" you spat, bursting from the backroom with bat in hand.

But, to your surprise, your ex-boyfriend was nowhere to be found, only Katakuri remaining within your small lobby.

"Huh? Where'd he go?" you asked, raising a brow in confusion.

"Away," he answered, curtly, crossing his arms over his chest once again.

"Damn... I really wanted to use this on him..."

"Commander Katakuri, sir!" Kota rushed forward, running out from behind the counter before presenting the man your signature box. "Your sample doughnuts, as requested. I apologize for the wait."

Taking them, he offered a thankful nod, carefully tucking them against his side.

"No need. I understand the... odd circumstances," slowly, his gaze turned to you, his expression somehow turning more serious than it already was. "But doughnuts aren't all I came here for."

For the first time in a long time, nerves seemed to be fluttering in his belly, rendering him partially immobile under your soft gaze.

But he was doing what had to be done.

A woman deserved to know she was getting married before the day of her wedding.

And a woman deserved to know why.

"(y/n)... you and I need to talk... Alone."

eddie would say "this guy's bothering you babe?" every time you accidentally bump into something.

you're just walking around the trailer, taking back your plate to the kitchen when you hit your leg against the table, "ow you son of a bitch!" you'd yell out and eddie comes running from his room. his guitar tossed on the bed and music sheet has flown off his lap and got scattered all across the floor.

"what happened? you okay?" he'd ask then he'd see that the table has moved a bit since he last saw it about thirty minutes ago. "this guy's bothering you, sweetheart?" he'd walk towards the table and stare it down, "do i need to teach you a lesson here? hm? teach you not to hit on girls? and my girl nonetheless." his hands in fists, he'd buff out his chest, acting all tough and scary but it only makes him look adorable like a mad puppy.

"actually eds, technically i hit it." you'd tell him and he'd turn to you.

"babe you don't have to do this. don't defend this asshole just so i wouldn't hurt him." glaring at the table again, "come on bitch! not so brave now huh?"

then he'd act as if he's throwing hands with the table only for him to hit his foot against its leg, hard, and end up on the floor in the fatal position holding his foot in both hands and go "the soldier has fallen. i've been defeated by the evil forces of wooden home furniture. pass my kind regards and sorrow to the queen. long live rock and roll." then in true eddie fashion, he'd pretend to be dead with his tongue out and his middle finger pointed to his new immortal enemy, the table.