If I Had A Nickel For Everytime Cale Erased An Island Off The Map, I'd Have Two Nickels... Which Isn't

Cale, with a pitty face: You’re not completely useless.

Bud: thank-

Cale: -you can always be used as a bad example.

Bud: I-

Boop 🌟

Cale has so much trauma that the only way his allies can truly help him is if they ignore him when he tries to stop them.

A hardened war-veteran who has self-sacrificing issues and a deep desire to protect everyone he can regardless of consequences? No problem, just ignore everything stupid he says.

Cale:wait no I need to go fight

Allies: shhhh no you don’t, take a nap, we will handle it

Cale:but-

Allies: no buts. It’ll all be okay

Cale:*ptsd intensifies*

Literally when the sealed gods temple started to create the equivalent of a nuclear bomb, Cale was like “wow, good thing I stabbed myself earlier and I feel GREAT so I’m going to try to block this with my shield that gives me major backlash” and everyone else just had to be like “GUYS HES DOING IT AGAIN QUICK PULL OUT THE SHIELDS”

And then Cale was like “why is everyone doing this? I’ll be fine?” And they’re all like “GET ALL SHARP OBJECTS AWAY FROM HIM- FUCK WHY IS HE DOING THIS-? HE JUST STABBED HIMSELF HAS HE NOT DONE ENOUGH???”

And Cale is like “guys, I promise I can help” and he’s like a baby who’s just silverware privileges revoked because a fork and an outlet got involved so everyone is like “anyone hear anything? Nope didn’t think so. Cale go sit in the corner”

And honestly they’re not wrong for it-

Later edit;

Cale:I am such a bad person. I use everyone around me for my own benefit, so I don’t know why you guys are still here

Allies:yes, yes, of course Cale-nim. Now let’s get you to bed before your sense of self-responsibility shows up

That's why my man is out there saying shit like "I Don't really care about these people" and then fixing (destroying) every problem they ever encounter

Plausible deniability, if he didn't say he cared about them or even admitted it to himself, they wouldn't die (?

thinking about how everyone who ever cared about kim rok soo would disappear from his life

and how he started to keep a distance from the people who cared about him

perhaps, in the attempt, that they might stay

and the people who managed to crack open his shell

died in front of him

Because if something happens to him, they will have savings 🏃

Cale is always giving the kids money in the piggy banks but he is also never telling them to pay with theirs own allowance.

Like every time he wants them to have something he is the one who pays and that's such a sweet detail.

That's so mean. Do it again

teen titans go animators you are NOT invited to my red hood themed costume party >:(

but they do give him justice here

This man is gonna be my death

😭

I will just lay down and wait for the sweet kiss of death. Try again the next life or something. What are another 1000 years really.

The way the White Star had to invent a massive lore for Cale just to cope with the fact that somehow this 20-yr-old twink is casually wrecking his ass is honestly so funny lmaoooooooo

I think that's why Cale can trap him with Embrace so easily: the moment Cale revealed the truth, the White Star's ego physically cannot cope lmaoo

Imagine inventing yourself an archnemesis, only to find out that no, you are just a delusional bastard with a fragile ego, and that for close to 6 months, said "archnemesis" even tried to dissuade you a couple of times because you are that pathetic to him.

I would not recover fr

Wolverine would absolutely fit this song. Kind of breaks my heart, but it's so him somehow 😭❤️

Jason doesn't know hes Cool Like That™ because all the people he knows calls him a nerd at least twice a day.

Dick is kind of a big brother who knows what effect he has on his siblings's friends, and he never misses an opportunity to make himself look even cooler in their eyes. But Jason? Oh, Jason has no idea that people even consider him pretty and interesting.

It pisses his siblings even more.

Jason, on his bike, with the most insane face card: Hey, Replacement, hop on. We have work to do.

Kon, twirling his hair: Is your brother, like... free?

Bernard: Yeah, on Friday

Tim, with his eye twitching: I will kill you.

Jason, absolutely unaware of what is going on: ??? WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO

***

Jon, waving enthusiastically at Jason, who passes by kitchen: Jason is so cool!

Damian: ...

Jon: And kind!

Damian: Calling Todd kind is definitely a choice.

Jon: But he read me a bedtime story the last time I was staying here 😕

Damian, frowning: ...

(Damian, later that day: Why did you read bedtime story to Jon and not me.)

***

Jason: Why Tim's and Damian's friends keep fucking glaring at me? Or stumble when I am around? What tf am I doing wrong?

Dick, trying to hide his laughter: Eh, no idea

Bruce, absentmindedly: I, actually, have the same problem when I am around other people

Alfred, amused: No DNA test required, that's for sure