"A House With No Mirrors"

"So Now?"

the words have come and gone,

I sit ill.

the phone rings, the cats sleep.

Linda vacuums.

I am waiting to live,

waiting to die.

I wish I could ring in some bravery.

it's a lousy fix

but the tree outside doesn't know:

I watch it moving with the wind

in the late afternoon sun.

there's nothing to declare here,

just a waiting.

each faces it alone.

Oh, I was once young,

Oh, I was once unbelievably young!

~Charles Bukowski

I made a room for you in my mind.

I was foolish, I thought you were kind.

I never noticed the knife when you came from behind.

Or the chains on my arms that bind,

Or the cloth over my eyes that blinds.

I remember when I lovingly made a room for you in my mind.

I was wrong, you weren't kind

~Me

subtitles from Science Gossip, 1900

They looked over from the cliff, hand in hand, into the void. The presence of each other, the burning warmth of their hands and the intensity of their love was enough to null the feeling of loss, of loneliness and above all, the crushing hopelessness and suffocating fear. Here they were safe, they were determined and most importantly they were ready. And they were ready together. They did not possess the knowledge if their friendship would last more than one lifetime, but for now they would make it last forever, as long their flame burns and they draw their breaths, as long as their eyes glitter with determination. They will last. All was not alright, but it will be, and they'll be there together. They were enough.

"Watch a man flow with the river of love, watch him emerge and then watch him flourish."

Virginia Woolf〡Selected Prose; Mrs Dalloway

" A Legacy "

I suppose we humans are like the very stars whose dust we came from. Each of our individual selves might seem like a speck among other specks in the deep, ebony unknown, but each of us hold such significance that our demise would impact the planets we once held close, the neighboring stars and much more. The blinding light and energy we would create would last for generations, our explosion echoing in the quiet, loneliness, creating just the right amount of power for something else to create, to begin, to bloom, to breathe. And in our deafening silence, the rest of the stars shall bow in respect. Somewhere, light years away, something enters into existence holding a piece of your light in it. A legacy continues from death to rebirth.

~Me

"No War"

I looked to the east and there was a war.

I looked to the west and there was a war.

I looked north and I looked south and there was a war.

I looked within and there was a war.

I felt no peace, no safety, no comfort anywhere.

With bone deep, aching tiredness, I looked at the arduous journey before me with quiet, blank eyes.

Whatever my destiny maybe, I started with the war within.

I bled and cried out emotions, pains and fears.

Years of souls haunting me from beyond their graves.

I fought and I fought and I fought.

They whispered sweet nothings in my ears. Their sirens call piercing as they wail and they wail and they wail.

I still fought and I fought and I fought.

And before I knew, their voices grew weak.

They washed over me like sea foam, dull and bleak.

Then I built and I built and I built.

After what felt like centuries, I lifted my head.

I looked to the east and I looked to the west.

I looked to the north and I looked to the south.

There was no war, only peace.

~Me