Reblog For A Miracle To Happen Tonight

early criminal minds (seasons 1-5) is so fucking funny if you think about it from the perspective of literally anyone that the BAU interacts with outside of each other. to recap what’s going on, let’s go over the team. We’ve got:

Elle Greenaway- murderous bitch who maybe murdered someone in cold blood (claimed self defense but who can prove that?)

Spencer Reid- a genius with both mommy and daddy issues who looks like a fourteen year old TA and does magic tricks whilst, at some points, zooted off his ass on dilaudid

Jason Gideon- man who screams at crime scenes and lays down in blood stains

Derek Morgan- calls their tech analyst like “ugh mommy shove that nice hot information down my throat”

Penelope Garcia- the aforementioned Information Mommy, who talks to the team (specifically morgan) like a phone sex operator trying to make enough to cover rent

Jennifer Jareau- bubbly blonde woman who yells at TV reporters and kicks ass

David Rossi- rich, elderly, famous crime novelist who DEFINITELY should be retired

Emily Prentiss- goth lesbian who DEFINITELY has cursed folks out in one of the many languages she knows

Aaron Hotchner- tired workaholic man, trying his best to hold this shitshow together, also beat a man to death

like, can you IMAGINE??? it’s the worst week of your life. Some madman is running around, i don’t know, killing folks and cutting off their nipples or something, and this absolute clown brigade rolls up like “ah yes, just another Tuesday for us lmao” and start asking you questions about what kind of dirt this murderer had stuck to his shoes, and then they SOLVE THE CASE???? what the fuck must you be thinking at that point

Azriel is in the girls gc because

1. Hes not a snitch

2. He’s never active

3. He gives them scary dog privileges

4. He will literally do anything his friends ask of him

5. Hes really nice to the girls

6. Hes gay

I'm normally a big bitch about anachronisms but I'm willing to handwave them for School Spirits bc decades and decades is sure to make your memory murky and mushy. Wally misses Debbie Gibson despite her first album coming out three years after he died? He heard it after he was already trapped. Emilio showed Charley Crash Into Me in 1994 even though the song released in 1996? No he didn't, Charley doesn't remember what song it really was and he's substituted one he's heard Emilio listening to since. Quinn was a huge Veronica Mars fan in 2004 even though the show would have only aired a handful of episodes when she died? It's one of the few things she remembers about herself before the mind draining numbness of being stuck in a loop and she's latched onto it as part of her anyway.

Like I am SO willing to make shit up about the things they say that aren't right in the timeline if it makes it sadder. Love it.

Tbb s2 spoilers

Crosshair if Rampart interrupts his breakfast one more time:

Season 3 episode 1: Phee beats the crap out of Cid for 30 minutes

I honestly feel like nobody in lotr mentions how fucking weird Legolas is. He stays up pacing the floor and singing to himself in the dead of night. He deadass stares straight into the tree line in the absolute pitch black when no one else can see anything. He yells goodbye to a river he has heard about in songs. He's so strange and not one character mentions it AT ALL. I absolutely love him.

Obi-Wan's shit eating smirk is EVERYTHING.

QUICK ANAKIN HEADCANNON / HOTTAKE

He can’t read or write in basic.

As Anakin grew up on Tattooine, the most important language was Huttese as the Hutts controlled Tattooine. He could speak, read and write Huttese easily, everything was in Huttese. As bounty hunters, sailors and others came through speaking Basic he started to pick up on it, especially as Watto and his mum could speak Basic. His mum Shmi picked up on his interest and started teaching him. Only one problem, she can’t read or write in basic either, and she can’t send a slave to school.

Fast forward to Anakin becoming Obi-Wan’s Padawan, Obi-wan taught him theory by speaking. As a pawawan himself he hated it. So Anakin had no reason to learn how to write. He would read all his books after they were translated into Huttese.

Again Fast forward to the Clone Wars and the never ending paperwork. Anakin was known as the general who didn’t do paperwork. The council and the senate wanted the paperwork in Basic, and basic only. Any paperwork he did was first done in Huttese and translated digitally. New problem Rex wanted to do his paperwork with Anakin, to see why he didn’t do it by himself. Rex pasted him some of his paperwork and asked Anakin to read it over. Anakin sat there staring at the odd symbols before telling Rex he can’t read. Let’s just say Anakin almost cried.

Ahsoka somehow fount out (it helps to be a sister to the clones) and would constantly ask how come he couldn’t read, and word reach Obi-Wan who immediately felt awful for not teaching him how to read. Eventually Rex and Padmé taught him, however Anakin was embarrassed by not knowing how to read (or write) would by rude to Padmé and Rex. At the end of the clone wars he can write, read and speak in basic.

One day Yoda tells him he doesn’t know how to read or write in basic as well

*takes you on a museum date and proceeds to explain the most disgusting and bizarre facts to you with unveiled excitement*

honestly Anakin and Padmé’s secret marriage has so much comedy potential and TCW did not take advantage of that at all

I’m talking ridiculous sitcom hijinks

Anakin diving out of Padmé’s high rise Coruscanti apartment in his knickers to avoid getting caught

Padmé sneaking into the Temple to hang out with her husband, gets caught by some random Jedi, claims she’s there to meet... uh... Master Yoda??? Gets roped into having tea with him for the next 4 hours

They get sent on some diplomatic mission together... (with Ahsoka maybe?). it all goes tits up as per usual... they *have* to kiss to avoid getting caught. they get super into it. Ahsoka coughs loudly like “the bad guys have been gone for five minutes”

Someone asks Anakin why he’s visiting Padmé’s apartment. he claims he’s there to fix her washing machine. Ends up doing odd jobs for every single resident of 500 Republica to keep his cover