I Dont Think I Can Write I Think Eometjings Wrongnwithnmenim Passing Iut

It's YOURS

Zoro x reader. GN!Reader. Platonic. 643 words. Crack fic

Desc - You walk through a forest and find Zoro lookalikes

The Strawhats walk through a forest, some looking around excitedly while others are more tame. It's alright, but things get a lot better. While walking around you spot something, marimos. Your eyes widen and you run to Sanji while he speaks to Nami, “Nami-swan just know I’ll protect yo-” snatching him by the arm and dragging him over to the marimos in the middle of his oath. Before he can say anything you turn his head to the moss balls.

“Look!” The both of you stare and Sanji takes a moment to process before grinning mischievously. You’ve unlocked something.

“Hey, Zoro!” The cook calls over the swordsman, who walks over thinking it’s something important from the use of his name. That’s quickly thrown out, though. “Look, we found your siblings.” Sanji says while pointing, Zoro follows the direction before scowling. He should’ve known it was something like this.

“You called me over for this?” He’s irritated. “If this is my family then every stupid swirl is yours!” He yells, butting heads with Sanji once his grin faded to anger. Meanwhile, you get your own idea and start picking the moss balls out of the water and stuffing them into your clothes. Uncomfortable but this’ll be worth it.

“Zoro, Zoro.” You call to him, which takes a few times before he finally turns to you.

“What!?” He spots you with a round stomach, your clothes wet with water. “The hell are you doing.”

“Zoro, I’m pregnant.” He stares at you with an annoyed and shocked expression, he can’t believe you’re doing this. You squat down and start pushing like you’re giving birth. “NnnGNGGH!!” The moss balls plop out of your clothes onto the ground. “And they’re yours.”

…

Sanji bursts into laughter and Zoro clenches his teeth. “Stop messing around!” You pick the marimos up and look at him with sadness.

“You don’t accept them?”

“As if!” He barks at you and your eyes widen in faux shock.

“...I’m a single parent..” You look away dramatically and Sanji falls to the ground with tears running down his face from laughter.

“You’re both stupid.” As he says that Robin walks over, curious.

“What’s going on?” She asks and you walk to her while holding your moss children.

“I gave birth,” You hold them up. “but he doesn’t accept them.” You look at Zoro with sorrow. He looks at Robin in disbelief at you but she frowns.

“How horrible.” His jaw drops.

“You too!?” The swordsman yells as Robin wraps her arms around you, comforting you in these trying times.

“Huh? What’s happening?” Luffy stretches down from a tree branch.

“Zoro’s abandoning his children after they were just born.” Robin states and Luffy gasps.

“Zoro! That’s not nice!” The captain admonishes Zoro, completely skipping over any actual logic.

“I can’t believe this.” The other Strawhats continue to gather around as you explain your tearful story dramatically until everyone is comforting you, making Zoro seem heartless while he stands there.

‘How did I become the bad guy here?’ He thinks to himself as Usopp and Nami send him dirty looks. You break from their grasp and slowly walk to your children’s father, holding them out to him.

“Zoro.. please… hold them..” You say softly he stares at the moss uncomfortably, then up at you and the others’ encouraging expressions.

“I…” He falters, starting to give into this weird peer pressure as he takes the wet blobs in his arms.

“How’s being a dad?” You put a hand on his shoulder.

“Uh.” They’re squishy but if he thinks about it they’re cute, in a way. “Not bad I guess-” He looks at you to find you’re barely holding in laughter. “Why am I doing this shit!?” He snaps, throwing the moss ball angrily.

“My babies!” You give chase.

“Cruel..” Usopp whispers audibly to Nami, who nods.

“Shut up!”

Yall fw the format? Thought it might look cooler and i would take advantage of the fact tumblr is more customizable than a03. IK havent written in a long time. Idk why but i coulfnt push thru it. I actually had this written messily a while back and just proofread it and post it just now so im still kinda stuck lolol. Im gonna try and get into it again, rewatching OP to try and get back in the groove 2

About lil ol me!? If you say so.

Last Song: Disappearance Addiction by Kairiki bear (My fav vocaloid artist) The one on youtube specifically with the animation theres many versions of the song

Last Book: The Lost Hero by Rick Riordan. Id already read it but felt like rereading it since its in my campus library. Dropped it though. Not because its bad, its great, the humor aged pretty well too, just didnt want ti have to borrow it and possibly have it go overdue and the library is cold after a while. Maybe ill get back to it.

Last Movie: Sonic 3. Watched with some friends and family. Was pretty funny. But so cringe. I cant blame sonic for being cringe in the movie because it fit his character being cringe but that "Konichi-what" took actual life from my body. Also we were really late so we missed like 20 min of it and that was basically the part i first saw with no context.

Last Game: Cult of the Lamb. Its fun. Just so fucking glitchy. Its crashed multiple times and glitched so bad id had to quit it multiple times. Its such a shame considering how fun it is too.

Last TV Show: One piece, if not counting anime then Arcane. Though im on like episode.. 3.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: Sweet. I love sweets. Sm. I love them. I feel like between a bad sweet and a bad savory or spicy its always the bad sweet thats usually gonna be better.

Relationship: Single. Im not really interested in relationships. I dont have crushes either. Ive never really been super in relationships especially seeing how miserable people will be just because they aren't in one. Not that i can't go in one, I just don't crave it.

Favorite Color: Yellow and Brown. Yes i know shit and piss but i do like the colors. Bananas, bees, sunflowers, its a good color combination. Brown is a very warm calm color and yellow a very bright happy color. Im not too picky about colors though.

Last Internet Search: Big five personality test. I heard from a psychology person online that Myer Briggs one actually is not good and that Big five one is better so i was doing it but got bored.

tags: @worstgenerationloser @kaivenom @hannahbarberra162 @silverinkbottle @worstscholar

I cant think of anyone else. You don't have to do this though. I won't go crazy.

TAG GAME - 10 People I'd Like to Know Better

thank you for tagging me @zorua-adorable !

Last Song: anna sun by WALK THE MOON

Last Book: junji ito's lovesickness collection

Last Movie: descendants 3 lmao

Last Game: fire emblem: path of radiance

Last TV Show: alice in borderland

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: sweet 100%. i have such a sweet tooth it's a bit of a problem

Relationship: single and not planning on changing that any time soon

Favorite Color: purple 💜

Last Internet Search: fahrenheit to celsius

no pressure tags: @ambeer6 @biblicallyaccurate-candylady @in-a-bucket @nerdofmanymediumsandfandoms @rencatuive @tophats-tea @biggestlen @bleuflowerfields @hqwthornes @asexual-shelly

Listen. What if sanji and zoro being best friends when everyone's gone and fighting only when everyone else is around.

Funny scenario, could be true. We'll never know...

Why are you two friendly

Zoro x Sanji. Platonic. Maybe ooc since they aren't friendly towards eachother. 963 words.

“Idiot Moss”

“Shit cook”

“Musclehead.”

“Pervert brow.”

“How long are they going to do this… Are you sure we should be leaving them together on the ship, Luffy?” Usopp asks the captain.

“Huh?” He’s picking his nose, flicking a booger away. “Oh, should be fine, let's go already!” Luffy says. For once Sanji doesn’t have to buy groceries since they’re staying here for a few days, he’s already got them. The 𝓵𝓪𝓭𝓲𝓮𝓼 don’t need his help either since they’re having a girls day. So Zoro and Sanji are the ones watching the ship, Zoro for training and Sanji for meal prep. The crew wondered if that would be possible since they’re going to be the only ones there, but since no one else wanted to stay behind to watch the ship the worry subsided and people left. Luffy actually overslept since he had to do nightwatch last so him and Usopp are the last ones to go. “Well, they won’t destroy the ship so it’s fine, right?” Before Usopp can say anything else Luffy’s already dragging him off the ship, so too late. A few minutes pass and Zoro and Sanji slowly quiet down.

“You’re gonna train right? I’ll make you a protein shake.” What!? Sanji offers Zoro a smoothie?

“Oh, thanks. Put whatever in it, you’re better at figuring those things out better than me.” And Zoro actually acknowledged Sanji’s skill without being passive aggressive!? The cook nods and pats Zoro’s back.

“Don’t overdo it, if you vomit later I’ll freak out.” The swordsman nods and, with that, the both of them go to their respective places. The cook in the kitchen and musclehead in the crow’s nest. While Zoro’s working out Sanji comes in with the protein shake, setting it down next to the equipment. The weights are put down and he grabs the shake, taking a drink.

“Thanks for this, sorry you have to come all the way up here to give it to me.”

“Don’t worry about it, not that hard. I’ll have a sandwich ready for you in the kitchen. Just wash your hands before you eat so you don’t get sick.” Sanji shows concern for his friend(?)

“I will, don’t worry about it. I’ll be careful not to mess up any of the meal prep either.” The swordsman stretches.

“Even if it smells great?” Sanji asks, smiling.

“Yeah even if it smells great, I’m not that impatient.” He pushes Sanji away with a finger to his forehead.

“Laying on the compliments won’t make it go faster, but thanks for them anyway~” The blonde is satisfied, humming as he leaves.

“Good luck”

___________

“I’m here.” Zoro says while walking into the kitchen, muscles untensing with a relaxed sigh at the nice smell.

“Wash your hands.” He’s reminded again and Zoro washes them obediently. “Sandwich is on the table with some cold water.

“Nice.” A hint of excitement is heard as Moss sits down and starts to eat, the cook zooming around the kitchen to continue prepping. They start to chat, the both of them relaxed around each other. “Luffy really does anything but wait for you to cook it, doesn’t he?”

“That’s what I say! I tell him it’ll be better if he waits, that way I could actually use the meat to make a proper meal, but he doesn’t! The only thing that’s been working is the lock Franky and Usopp have made, and they still have to remove it often to repair it since he still doesn’t let up. It’s why I only meal prep when he’s away and try not to leave while it’s in the fridge because Gods know he’ll eat it even if it isn’t fully cooked.” Sanji vents to his friend, feeling nice he has someone to talk to about this.

“It’s worth it to wait, but Luffy is Luffy. Remember when he ended up getting sick because he ate the raw mest you were letting marinate?” Zoro mentions with a smirk and Sanji laughs.

“I do!” He takes bread out of the oven, smells nice. “Yet he still doesn’t learn his lesson. It at least helps that you've been keeping an eye on him too.”

“It isn’t hard, plus it takes some pressure off of you so it’s worth it.” They’re being friendly… and like it’s normal, as if they’re always this way. Laughing and chatting, cracking jokes like they’re long time friends; which they are but they aren’t supposed to be this friendly. Maybe they just don’t have a reason to fight when they’re alone? No women to be protective or perverted over so no reason to make fun of the pervert for it. Zoro tends to be harsher with other people around too, maybe it’s a pride thing. Maybe they were just like this all along.

“We’re back~” Nami’s voice is heard and Sanji’s eyes immediately turn to hearts.

“NAMI-SWANNN ROBIN-CHWANNN~! I’M SO GLAD YOU’RE BACK~~~” Sanji quickly runs out of the kitchen and makes Zoro sigh as he walks out too.

“Jesus you’re loud, maybe I should start calling you broken speaker too. We see them all the time.” The swordsman says, already harsh, which makes the blonde turn to him.

“What did you say!? Every glimpse at Nami-swan and Robin-chwan is a gift bestowed from the heavens, not that a musclehead like you would understand!”

“Hah!? I don’t understand because I’m not a pervert cook like you!” They start to argue which quickly turns into a physical fight, now things are back to a normal(?) state.

“Ugh, I’m surprised nothing’s broken.” Nami groans, looking around the ship.

“Well, maybe we didn’t have to worry as much as we though, right?” Robin chuckles, walking with Nami to leave the two men to argue. They’ll tire themselves out… eventually.

Im a small one piece headcanon/drabble/mini fic writer now ask me things to write itll be my first time writing on tumblr though so it might be formatted weird n shit. The headcanons I plan to be x reader but it can be anything really. It can be platonic too or a kid reader or just a headcanon in general. I hope yall know what I'm talking about. Ill do female or male reader and nsfw is also allowed because why not I just feel like writing. Also I'm anime only tho, and I really try to be in character. Im new to tumblr terms so if you want to give me tips go ahead because I don't know how to label things on here (like i don't know what counts as headcanon or drabble or mini fic). Anyway it could be angst too but i'll probably make it a happy or bittersweet ending bc im a sensitive loser. I just wanna write, I'm bored. save me

alright bet it was a close fight too

Hii i wanted to ask why some headcanons on your masterlist aren't available

like some of the links don't work? i checked them just now and one of them were broken so i fixed it but the rest work. not sure why links expire so i have to change them out every so often but i just fixed one

HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY!!, 🍰 🎂🎂🎉🎂🎉🎂🎉🎂🎉🎂🎉🎂🎉

THANK YOUUUUU GRAHHH

HES SO UGLY

I need to kick him or something someone put peepaw down he looks like old yeller