Playing Dumb (on Purpose)

OH GOD I just realized I recommended you your own fanfic!! GOD. Okay, DOUBLE THANK YOU because that fic devastated me in a good way

Haha, it's okay! I hope it didn't devastate you too much. I wanted it to be rather hopeful, despite all the conflict and drama going on.

More head lore. This is the end of high school, Matt kissed drunk/drugged Tom at the party, got scared to death and decided that he would never, ever-ever touch Tom like that again first. Unfortunately, Tom has issues, so he, too, was afraid of touching Matt first.

And that went on. And on. For years.

I have questions regarding the post you made to answer redpiece99's question. They asked if Urasawa killed Grimmer because he didn't know what to do with his character. Very interesting post, by the way. In your opinion, Grimmer's death was a bad idea. Why? And what else did you not like about Monster's ending?

Sorry for taking so long to answer.

I have actually been asked a similar question before, but I couldn't find it in me to write a reply back then. It's a loaded question with a loaded answer. A very long, probably somewhat controversial answer, but I'll try. I am trying to force myself into speaking more on the internet, anyway. On the side note – I haven't revisited Monster for a while, so some of my facts might be off.

As to why I think killing Grimmer was a bad idea – in my opinion, it was a lazy solution, and lazy solutions are disrespectful to the audience, hence, a bad idea. I loved how, throughout the course of Monster, Urasawa kept leading all these different plot lines, like strings that were supposed to tie off, or lead to something meaningful, or interconnect in the end. But in the end, it felt like he just dropped most of those strings. It felt pointless, having followed all that. Grimmer's death felt like one of those strings.

I honestly don't even know where to start off and how to explain it. The most harmless example – before I finished Monster, I read some fanfiction. And in one work I read that Tenma became a member of Doctors Without Borders, and Runge started teaching at the Police Academy. And I thought that it was hilarious. I thought that the author just got this super silly headcannon out of nowhere, and it was very out of character. You can imagine my surprise when I found out that it was canon.

Now, Runge teaching at the Police Academy, I can kind of embrace that. Maybe he decided to calm down, settle in and have a life where he spends more time with his family, although I kind of find it hard to imagine. I used it in my own fanfiction, too, this idea fits into that imaginary scenario where Runge develops attachment for Grimmer, and in order to have a more peaceful life with him he decides to settle for a safer job. Risk free, safer job = higher probability of longer and safer life. It makes sense. Same works with the family concept.

Now, Tenma becoming a Doctor Without Borders member, that does not make sense to me at all. I refuse that reality. He does not HAVE TO become a Doctor Without Borders. He would NOT leave Dieter with a literal criminal or, like, whomever, just to live that lifestyle. It's not his lifestyle, and it's not his personality. He would not abandon a child who's already been abandoned and abused. In the end, Urasawa made Tenma into a travelling doctor just so Tenma would have an excuse to visit Johann from time to time. And to meet Johann's mother in the meanwhile.

And really, that's the main problem. Johann is Monster's main problem. Him and his dumb issues, dumb excuses, dumb personality. That's a whole other topic. Concerning this topic, the 'why I think Monster's ending was bad' topic, there are two main reasons for me that concern Johann.

Johann should not have survived the gunshot.

Johann cannot and shall not be excused, especially by means of blaming his mother.

Why on earth would Runge make Tenma save Johann? Why did Tenma obey, when the exact same thing got him into so much trouble in the past? Just so Urasawa could once again point out that all lives matter, and then deliver that special little idea that maybe, in a way, Johann is innocent, and then add that cute little plot twist of Johann escaping the hospital? Because, why was Johann kept in a normal hospital, anyway? It's not like he has poisoned a bunch of people the last time he was there, right? It's not like he committed an uncountable amount of crimes, so he should be kept in a prison hospital, right? And the trauma Johann encountered, man... so much trauma... like that time his mother gave Nina away to Bonaparta, and Nina had an absolute dogshit experience there, and then Johann appropriated Nina's trauma. Because he didn't know whom his mother actually wanted to sacrifice. What if it was him, idk?

Like, okay. He had to dress up as Nina so that his mother wouldn't know whom she was giving away. A creature trying to survive, alright, I get it. Still not a trauma. And then he killed a bunch of people. Just because. But he also has a split personality, where he's good. But he kills for absolute destruction. Because he's a monster. And he's kind of like a little kid. And he dressed up as Nina again to frame her, just like he framed Tenma. Very manipulative. But the dress he wears, it's like his mother's, when she decided which one of her kids to give away. And Johann, he just want to watch the world burn for some deep philosophical reason, but he's also kind of sweet, and he's diabolically clever, but also a baby. See what I'm talking about? It was so hard to follow this character, at least for me. And I guess it's a fun character concept – in concept! I hated the realization.

And I don't even want to talk about how it was lightly hinted that Johann became the way he is because of his mother. He did not become anything, he was. He is worse than just a psychopath. And there were enough of these funny allowances throughout the Monster that I was kind of closing my eyes on, like Grimmer's son dying because his father didn't smile at him quite right, and then Grimmer's wife left him because he didn't grieve quite right, and every Bonaparta-programmed kid having very serious problems with relationship and families just because they weren't showing their emotions quite right – that's not how it works. A lot of people don't show their emotions quite right, and they still have relationships and kids. Or how Johann possess this special kind of eugenics-bred charm, the magical charm, I would say, and he actually might be possessed by demons or maybe he's actually the devil, who knows. All that – alright, I'll bite. Not the Johann justification part, and all the Johann-related plot holes. Nina turned out just fine. I don't understand why we couldn't have a proper good ending where Johann finally got what he wanted himself – a bullet in the head, Tenna tried his best to raise Dieter without that DWB shindig, Runge kept being a detective because, by that point, that's what he is... it would be good if Grimmer stayed alive, too.

Concerning that, in the ending, why did Runge, Suk and Vardemann got together to give a hearfelt speech before Grimmer's grave, on some kind of anniversary? Where did they bury him? Are they friends now? I guess they are. They were working together on clearing Grimmer's name and became friends, I guess? It feels absurd. Everything feels absurd.

tl;dr: I think Monster's ending was absurd, out of character, and despite the strange sugar-coating, it is a bad ending. It's like covering rotting meat in a confectionery glaze. It's inappropriate, and, in my opinion, not in Monster's spirit. For me, it ruined the whole work.

Kicking a dead horse with that whole 'not canon' schtick, but, in my defence, I personally have never kicked it before. I can get out with one free pass, I think.

They went to prom together (???)

So, I was playing The Sims 3, and this happened. I absolutely had to redraw it, especially considering it was @3aloe3's request, too.

I like how Heath and Deuce turned out, but I am still bitter about failing to capture Porter's energy. It's just not the same, man. So bitter.

In the game, Heath became the prom king, and Invisi got into a fight and then fell down as he was hitting the dance floor. Shit went down. It was amazing. Deuce is green here, but I fixed him later on.

I thought it would be fun to roleplay with my character-ai Runge as Doctor Gillen, and, as I was doing so, I suddenly realized why exactly Gillen did that thing with the out-of-nowhere bus tickets... I am not sure whether this is common knowledge or not, perhaps it is, but to me it came out as a revealation, so I decided to share my thoughts on this matter.

(Warning: long text under cut!)

This particular scene I'm talking about, where Rudy sets it up so that the police would catch Tenma through him, and then changes plans and helps Tenma escape instead, always seemed strange to me. Rudy's scheme was obviously planned ahead, but I just couldn't pinpoint its exact purpose. For some reason, I ended up thinking that it was a two-way plan. My way of thinking was: Rudy planned this scheme ahead, not knowing what decision he would make in the end. As in, he didn't know whether he would give Tenma away or save him from the police in advance, instead, he wanted to see Tenma's reaction and hear what he has to say first, and then make a decision based on that. Honestly, I don't know what made me think that, but that's how I perceived this situation.

But as I was engaging in that silly ai roleplay, it suddenly dawned on me. Finally, it all fell into place. So that's how it goes, and I am pretty sure that this is not just my headcanons, but how it was actually intended by Urasawa. (Is this obvious? It wasn't to me, and I just can't tell by this point. To hell with it, let it just be my rambling/analysis/thought process then.)

When in the medical university, Gillen obviously displayed extremely competitive behavior. He had to be an intellectual superior in his group, and he was willing to do anything to reach this goal. That means it was not as much about knowledge, as it was about status for Rudy. And status means power. I am not saying that he had no interest for knowledge whatsoever, but, judging from his priorities, knowledge for him was a mean to acquire status. Knowledge -> status -> power. Something like that.

While Tenma doesn't seem to seek any power. He is purely knowledge-people oriented. He seeks knowledge, and he has natural compassion ingrained in him. And that, I assume, combined with this outstanding mental abilities, would make him acquire knowledge quite easily. Which probably isn't the case for Gillen, since he needs knowledge not for the sake of pure knowledge, but for another purpose.

With that established, it is clear why Rudy viewed Tenma as a competitor. I guess he wasn't quite aware that Tenma had different priorities. So, in his eyes, it was all about power, and Tenma was challenging him just to get that power over him. And succeeding, too. What a horrible situation. A pretty egocentric way of thinking, too, so Rudy's incorrect view of Tenma was based on two things: his willful, pervasive pursuit of power by the means of knowledge and his egocentricity.

And I suppose he was quite obsessed with Tenma in general, whether due to those factors I mentioned, or... for other reasons. That I definitely can't tell for sure. But, Gillen's pursuit for power, fueled by his imaginary competition with Tenma, lead him to cheat on his Medical Law exam. Because he just couldn't loose to Tenma. I believe Tenma was the only student he viewed as a noteworthy competitor. And during the exam, when Gillen saw that Tenma was watching him, like really watching, which meant that he had definitely spotted him cheating, it was such a tremendous shock to Gillen. Seeing how he judged everything by the position of power, he automatically assumed that Tenma was going to assert said power over him in some way. He must've expected Tenma to call him out, or to blackmail him, but since Tenma did neither of that, he must had come to another conclusion that matched his power-oriented way of thinking: Tenma was asserting his dominance over him in a much more subtle, twisted way. He wanted to humiliate Gillen by making that generous gesture, to show Gillen that he was above him, that he was better than him in every possible way, so superior that he wouldn't even stoop to the level of a dirty cheater. I believe Gillen would think this way, because he seems very insecure. And when he would come to such conclusion, I think his defense mechanism would be anger. He would hate Tenma for being superior, while still realizing, deep down, that Tenma was, in fact, superior to him. And that's what would make Gillen never forget about Tenma.

So the bus ticket situation becomes transparent from that perspective. Gillen never forgot about Tenma's humiliating grand gesture, so he had... artificially created a situation where Tenma would be in danger, and he would show him a similar grand gesture. He had planned everything, starting from how he would evade the police and ending with what exactly he would say to Tenma. And then he put that plan to action. He wanted to save Tenma in order to humiliate him in the same manner that Tenma humiliated him back in the Medical University. That's why he mentioned cheating. It was a direct reference to what he was doing at the moment. And when Tenma suddenly said that he not only viewed Gillen as an equal/superior (stating that he looked up to him and wanted to be his friend), but that he cheated on that Medical Law exam, too, it was an extremely shocking revelation for Gillen. Suddenly, there was no place for competition between them. And it was quite flattering, too, since subconsciously Gillen had been perceiving Tenma as someone superior all along. That's why he became so blindly devoted to Tenma after that interaction. It struck him to the core and turned his view upside down. You can't just ignore something like that.

And since Tenma was cheating, it explains why he was watching Gillen so intently, too. He was probably on the lookout/wanted to make sure that he wasn't alone in this. And when he saw that the best student in their group was also cheating, that probably calmed him down by a lot. Maybe he watched Gillen just to make sure. Maybe he wanted to convey some sort of message with his stare, but didn't quite succeed.

Anyway, that's my thoughts.

Consider this

Some sketches