Unimaginable Emptiness Again

“You can romanticize me all you wish, but the devil wrapped in silk is still the devil.”

— A Word To My Lovers

Ptolemaea - Ethel Cain

I feel like neither a child nor an adult. I am a botched, failed creature, combining the worst qualities of each. All the helplessness and dependency of a child, with the cynicism and despair of an adult. My mind is stunted, malformed. My body outgrew me and now I wield it clumsily, hitting others with my overgrown arms as I stumble over my own feet. "I am sorry," I say, "But I was treated as something less than human and that is what I've become."

so there’s this insane rage and anger

I love music so much, I hope I'm a pair of headphones in my next life

Taylor Byas, from I Done Clicked My Heels Three Times: Poems; “Men really be menning”

Nikki Giovanni, The Collected Poetry, 1968-1998

For old times sake is actually such a heartbreaking and beautiful sentiment. Like, let’s do it for the love that used to be here. It is reason enough.

You are at fault for your own follies, yet find a way to make it another’s sin to repent.

You can love someone and still choose to say goodbye to them. You can miss someone every day and still be glad they are no longer in your life.