Unstableflames

Reading my Tumblr is like walking in a psych ward

— Elaine Kahn, from “Romance or the End.”

When a person tells you you hurt them, you don’t get to decide you didn’t.

Being median is funny. I'm not a singlet and not multiple, but a secret third thing. Who am I? Depends on the day but when it comes down to it, I'm me. Who's that? Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy. I'm people soup. A coin with two sides, but still a coin.

I keep getting harassed for my abusive past actions even though i'm trying my best to recover and said sorry, it makes me feel sometimes like I'm unfixable and just destined to be a monster forever, and that I deserve to feel in pain, how do I move on from that?

You aren't a monster or incapable of change. All you can really do though is keep your side of the street clean; keep doing better, and give yourself grace. We are allowed to be kind to ourselves, even when no one else is. We can't change the past, and we can't change how it affects other people, nor their response to what happened. I know it's a sucky thing to accept, and accepting that doesn't make any of those permanent, dehumanizing judgements true.

You are who you are today; not who you were before you learned better. Set boundaries as you need to, and remember there will always be people who will support and love you. People are complicated and far from perfect. There is a future for you, and that future can be bright and peaceful. Just stick around and keep going, and you'll find it. ♡

there’s a part of me that isn’t the same anymore.