Sanpha, Watch Over Us (An Ida X F!Leith Short)

< avalon was once an isle of legend, now it’s a city of hell >

< AVALON CITY. 2087 >

fifty years after the world’s radical takeover by an extremist group now known as the daughters of avalon, you awaken hooked up to a machine with fractured memories from a time that no longer exists.

the world you knew is gone and you are the power source for this new one.

you currently reside in the capital city governed by four sisters. they demand absolute obedience and dissenters are shown no mercy. it’s a dog-eat-dog world and no one is ever truly safe.

but that matters little to you now, all you know for certain is that you must escape. escape this machine, this facility, this city, this world. no matter the consequences.

< features >

-> customise your mc’s appearance and identity. cis and trans options are available and pronouns and titles can be chosen separately.

-> three characters to romance. poly routes are also an option.

-> explore the new world you’ve awoken in and discover both who you are and the depths of your abilities with the aid of your companions.

-> story driven.

< cast >

< SERAIAH | RO > a champion street fighter. a golden retriever in human form, ey is extremely popular on the holonet. you know you should stay away from em, but there’s something about em that draws you in and won’t let you go.

< JINHAI | RO > someone you remember. you feel as though you know them, but they seem determined to keep you at arms length. the only thing you know for certain is that they’re willing to die to keep you safe.

< AZRIEL | RO > the latest and most elite synth model. they were sent to hunt you down and bring you back alive. they’re ruthless and cold, but obsessed doesn’t even begin to cover what they feel for you.

< MANSI | NON-RO > an older synth model and your first companion. she was thrown out by her previous owners for being outdated. you saved them and in turn they swore to protect you.

< PENN | NO-RO > a young but highly skilled hacker. xe seems rather attached to you and does everything xe can to help you. you haven’t figured out why.

< TARAJI | NON-RO > the youngest of the four sister who govern avalon. she claims she’s on your side, but can you really trust her?

< POLYS > seraiah/jinhai | seraiah/jinhai/azriel

< notes >

header picture cr. patrick perkins [unsplash]

trigger warnings. sexual content (optional), explicit language, classism, unhealthy relationships, partial amnesia, mental health issues, panic attacks, depictions of blood and gore, body modifications (consensual), captivity and induced coma, death, murder and attempted murder, instances of drug and alcohol consumption and abuse, harassment, and extremist views.

asks. all types of asks are welcome, including those of a more explicit nature. any asks i am uncomfortable with will simply be deleted.

inspo. wolf’s rain, ghost in the shell, skulduggery pleasant book 7 (prison scene), and several other pieces of dystopian/cyberpunk media.

💘 HEART W/ ARROW - what traits do they look for in a relationship? do they believe in love at first sight?

So I kind of merged the two questions together:

Aurelian: from a young age, Aurelian was shaped by his parents troubled marriage, which left him feeling disillusioned and resentful towards love.

As the heir to the throne, he was fully dedicated to his duties and responsibilities, leaving little room for thoughts of love and romance.

In fact, he struggled to distinguish between his desire for control and his genuine feelings of love for the things and people he cared about. So that made Aurelian have a complex relationship with the concept of love, and struggles to recognize it when he encounters it.

Elara: despite prioritizing her studies and interests, Elara always remained hopeful that she will find the one.

Growing up with books and studying, she never found much time for romantic relationships, but deep down she yearns for a deep and meaningful connection with someone who shares her love of knowledge.

She dreams of finding someone who can keep up with her intellectually and who will challenge her to be her best self.

Whenever she meets someone who shows even the slightest interest in her passions, she eagerly seizes the opportunity to befriend them.

While she may not believe in love at first sight per se, she is open to the possibility of experiencing a powerful and immediate connection with someone special.

Kazuo: for Kazuo, love is not something that can be rushed or taken lightly. He prefers to take his time to really get to know someone and build a connection based on shared values, interests, and experiences. He is someone who approaches love with patience, care and a deep sense of respect for the other person.

In his eyes, finding love is not about physical attraction. It’s about finding someone who truly cares about him and shares his values and passions.

And Kazuo will go to great lengths to protect and support the people he loves, even if it means putting his own wellbeing at risk.

Aiden/Ava: since they were young, they have always been prone to “puppy love”— that instant crush on someone who helped them up after a fall or made them laugh. But while their feelings may come quickly, they don’t take love lightly.

They have a natural tendency to befriend people and have formed many close relationships throughout their life.

But even as they enjoy these connections, A still hold out hope that there is someone out there who will love and care for them in a way that no one else ever has.

SC:

“Love at first sight? No, it was a possession beyond mortal comprehension, a binding of our souls in a union of passion and desire.”

…

THE PROLOGUE IS IN FEW HOURS?!!! OH MY GOSH I NEED TO CLICK IT FAST SO THAT I HAVE MORE MOTIVATION TO DRAW MY MC AND THE RO'S!!!😭💖💗💖💗💖💗💞💖💞💖💕💖💞💖💞

Art by Sara Kipin

Dark Guardian by Artem Chebokha

This artist on Instagram

Writing Update

I wrote about 1000 words today, which may not be much to some, but I'm very proud of myself! 😊 

Also, I'm making mood boards on pinterest for the MC and ROs. I will post them on the intro post later, if anyone is interested. :)

I'm also thinking of posting some voices for the characters, just for fun. Of course, you're all free to imagine how each of them sounds!

Info Masterpost

Hi everyone, you may know me from around the IF community, probably primarily from here, but you may also be familiar with some projects I've worked on as an editor (the two most prominent being @bodycountgame and @nyehilismwriting's Project Hadea) or other things I've done around the place. Regardless, it's my intention to set up a place here to provide proof-reading and other editing services in order to help people in the IF community who may struggle with doing it themselves for whatever reason (be that due to time, or difficulty, or anything else).

What's on Offer?

We all know that being an interactive fiction author is a HUGE undertaking - we're our own planners, publicists, programmers and also editors a large amount of the time - and sometimes it can be a lot to grapple with. I also know from personally interacting with a lot of authors that editing in particular can feel intimidating for people who don't do it often, and lots of people feel like they don't get it right or don't trust their own judgement with it. That's a normal feeling for anyone inexperienced in a certain skill to go through, but also it turns out that luckily, the internet exists!

For a fee, I can hopefully take some of the stress out of the process by doing copy, line or developmental editing for you, or a combination of the three in some way, shape or form. This doesn't give me any control over your work, obviously, and any suggestions that I make will be just that, suggestions - though like any editor worth their salt, I'll always do my best to explain what I'm suggesting and why, so that you can hopefully make an informed decision about what you want to do about it.

See below the cut for more information, along with pricing and some basic FAQs. Thanks for reading!

So, how does it work?

Well, it's pretty simple, really - you reach out and talk to me about what you want edited, I'll let you know how many (if any) jobs are in my queue currently, we'll confirm what the price will be, and then you decide if you want to go ahead with contracting my services. If we agree to work together, you'll sit back and relax after finishing the exhausting writing process, or, if you're really a glutton for punishment, start writing something new, and I'll do the editing. Then I'll return it to you, and send you an invoice. Easy!

I'm not going to hover over your shoulder demanding certain changes be made or be offended if you disagree with me - that's not a good editor's function, in my personal opinion. What you choose to do with my editing suggestions afterwards is entirely up to you!

FAQs

What's the difference between copy editing, line editing and developmental editing?

Most people editing for themselves do all three different types of these at once, but they are actually three separate skillsets. Copy editing is another term for what's sometimes called proof-reading; basically, it's checking for spelling and grammar mistakes (including homophones and so forth) but not for other purely textual elements like ineffective word usage or weak sentence structures. Anything beyond basic grammatical correctness is covered by what's called line editing, which looks at some common things people worry about like overused words, weak metaphors or other imagery, and sentences or segments of the text that can possibly be written in a way to more effectively convey the message they're trying to get across.

Developmental editing is a whole other ballgame - this is the part that most often makes authors nervous, the act of considering the text in terms of the effectiveness of each paragraph and story beat, analysing which parts of the narrative and various character arcs are working and which aren't, and so forth. This is a type of editing that is heavy on critique, and very subjective: it's akin to the kind of feedback you might get from beta readers in many senses.

You don't have to want all three types of editing in order to contract my services for, say, just one, but developmental editing on its own will be by negotiation, and likely be an hourly fee rather than a per word cost. You also can't have line editing without copy editing, as it would be impossible to make sure it's effectively-written without making sure it's correct. (You can have copy editing without line editing, however.)

Do you accept works from people whose first language is something other than English?

Yes, this is not a mitigating factor for me. I've worked on some pieces by French- and Brazilian Portuguese-speaking authors before. My editing suggestions come with explanations of why I'm making them, so it should be clear even for ESL authors what I'm suggesting and for what reason. I'm not a translator (unless you're talking about from Akkadian or Sindarin), but as long as you're capable of having a conversation in English, we should be fine.

How should I format my files for you to work on? And how will I get them to you/receive them back?

The two most preferable options are either in a Word Document, or a GoogleDoc document, as these formats both allow me to highlight parts of the work and comment on it directly so that you can see my suggestions. Any other format will make the whole process difficult for both of us as it will require cross-referencing between your work and my responses.

It doesn't have to be formatted in any fancy way, though - as long as it's in the document and readable, even just via basic copy/paste from wherever else you write, that's fine.

We can exchange the files via email or discord, whichever makes you feel more comfortable.

Do you accept jobs unrelated to interactive fiction?

Yes! I've edited novels and short stories before as well, and done work specifically providing developmental editing on outlines so that authors can feel they have a well-fleshed out plan before they begin writing. It's just that there's not many editors out there who are familiar with the IF scene, so that's my marketing focus, so to speak.

You write using British spellings... do you know how to edit for American spellings, too?

Yes, I know how to edit for AusE and AmE as well as BrE. Many authors also use a combination of multiple spelling systems, which I can work with as long as you let me know your style and parameters.

My game is written in the style of Shakespeare... can you handle that?

Individual style, both affected and inherent, is not really a roadblock for most editors. The job of a good editor is to consider each author's personal style and make sure to respect it, rather than try to overwrite it with their own voice, so if you're writing a Tolkienian or Arthurian or epic poetry piece, I'm capable of working with that as long as you let me know what you're aiming for beforehand.

If you have a style guide with particular specifications, feel free to submit it along with your documents, and I'll abide by its specifications. I've worked on projects ranging from high fantasy to scifi to modern fiction in the past.

Can I break my writing up into multiple parts to give to you over time?

Sure! All of the interactive fiction work I've done thus far has been chapter-by-chapter, and you can break it down smaller if you like. However, I can't necessarily bring forward developmental editing concerns from one job into another at peak reliability, particularly if a long period of time has passed between the different jobs.

That's probably all for the FAQs for now - if you have any other questions, please feel free to reach out and ask!

Pricing

How much the editing will cost is based on the length of what you would like me to edit, split up into three length categories: under 10k words, 10k-100k words, and over 100k words. Prices are in AUD, Australian dollars. Per-word rates round up (ie., at a rate of 1c per 5 words, 6 words would incur the cost for 10 words).

Under 10,000 words

Copy editing: 1c per word.

Line editing: a flat $15 fee on top of the price of copy editing.

Developmental editing: a flat $20 fee on top of any other costs, or an hourly fee by negotiation if without the other two services.

10,000 to 100,000 words

Copy editing: 1c per word for the first 10,000 words, followed by 1c per each 3 words for the remainder.

Line editing: a flat $30 fee on top of the price of copy editing.

Developmental editing: a flat $80 fee on top of any other costs, or an hourly fee by negotiation if without the other two services.

Over 100,000 words

Copy editing: 1c per word for the first 10,000 words, followed by 1c per each 3 words for the remainder, plus a flat $20 fee for each 100k words after the first (ie., 150,000 words will incur a $20 fee on top of the per-word price, while 250,000 words will incur $40).

Line editing: a flat $40 fee on top of the price of copy editing, rising incrementally per 100k words after the first (ie., 150,000 words will incur a $40 fee, while 250,000 words will incur $80).

Developmental editing: a flat $80 fee on top of any other costs, rising incrementally per 100k words after the first (ie., 150,000 words will incur an $80 fee, while 250,000 words will incur $160), or an hourly fee by negotiation if without the other two services.

Code-checking

If you're able to include your code with your writing (such as by viewing a proofing copy of a game via twine), and provide me with an outline of your variables and what you're using them for, I can by request check for possible errors (such as adding to a stat when it seems like it should be subtracting instead, or using a wrong or misspelled variable) for a flat fee of $80 per 100,000 words (in this case, the code is included in the wordcount, since I'll be checking it).

Outline Help

If you want me to look over an outline or plan and provide developmental feedback before you begin writing, this can be done for an hourly fee by negotiation.

Thank you again for reading! Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions.

The poll didn't really help with you being conflicted 💀💀50 50 split. Is a thing where wherever u release the prologe that is where u will release everything else?

I know!! 😂

But thankfully, I find a solution, kind of. The prologue will be out on dashingdon and the rest will be on twine!

Played the demo and I really like it, makes me excited for what's to come. Soul collector is very interesting, I want to know what's going on in their gnoggin. I love a schemer!

On another note Aurelian is gonna get it, it's on sight when we see him again. (To smooch or to kill, that is the question?)

I’m glad you enjoyed it, anon! <3

SC is such a fun character to write. You just don’t know which side they’re on, and it makes scenes very chaotic and exciting. 🤭

That’s a very good question. I will let you decide when you meet him. 👀

I'm going to update the prologue soon with what you suggested!