Biologically Delicious

“It isn’t an Evil death sword, it’s a Chaotic Neutral death sword.”

-The chaotic neutral bard explaining his weapon idea to the DM (via outofcontextdnd)

...But then how do you make tea..? 

You're a great cook

I can’t even boil water

Knowing Something

One day you’ll find yourself knowing something. Good for you, but that’s no reason to stop listening. If the more you know, the less you listen, then the quicker you’ll return to knowing nothing.

Anything can be explained, as long as you understand what causes that thing to happen.  In the case of feelings, body chemistry. In the case of left and right, your relativity to compass directions. 

I know that’s not what you meant, but at least it’s a way of explaining it. 

being bisexual and having different feelings when ur attracted to guys than when u are to girls is so hard to explain bc being attracted to a guy is like “ah” and being attracted to a girl is like “oo” but that doesn’t make any sense to anyone but me

I was at the zoo the other day and there was this fucking goose trying to act likE A FUCKING FLAMINGO

Buying a Gun

One day you’ll find yourself buying a gun. Or maybe not. I haven’t bought a gun, but I have bought a vacuum cleaner, and despite not enjoying vacuuming, I made a mess just to try it out. Don’t make a mess to try out a gun.

Uplifting, don't you think?

These Indian Muslim schoolgirls, all aged between 10 and 16 years old, are performing Vovinam, a Vietnamese martial art, at the Saint Maaz High School in Hyderabad. Encouraged by their parents and school officials, they are learning the art of self defense on a weekly basis.

The adventures of Guude and Etho’s clothes.

Aren’t we all.

↖ easily manipulated by dogs

Technically, we aren't taking up any more space, just preventing the environment from reusing our remains.

Being buried is kind of selfish. We take up so much room while we’re alive, apparently that’s not enough, we also need a permanent spot when we die.