DOULUO CONTINENT TRAILER

Why "doing something relaxing” does not help your anxiety

A lot of the time when people give advice intended to relieve anxiety, they suggest doing “relaxing” things like drawing, painting, knitting, taking a bubble bath, coloring in one of those zen coloring books, or watching glitter settle to the bottom of a jar.

This advice is always well-intentioned, and I’m not here to diss people who either give it or who benefit from it. But it has never, ever done shit for me, and this is because it goes about resolving anxiety in the completely wrong way.  

THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO when suffering from anxiety is to do a “relaxing” thing that just enables your mind to dwell and obsess more on the thing that’s bothering you. You need to ESCAPE from the dwelling and the obsession in order to experience relief.

You can drive to a quiet farm, drive to the beach, drive to a park, or anywhere else, but as someone who has tried it all many, many times, trust me–it’s a waste of gas. You will just end up still sad and stressed, only with sand on your butt. You can’t physically escape your sadness. Your sadness is inside of you. To escape, you need to give your brain something to play with for a while until you can approach the issue with a healthier frame of mind. 

People who have anxiety do not need more time to contemplate, because we will use it to contemplate how much we suck.

In fact, you could say that’s what anxiety is–hyper-contemplating. When we let our minds run free, they run straight into the thorn bushes. Our minds are already running, and they need to be controlled. They need to be given something to do, or they’ll destroy everything, just like an overactive husky dog ripping up all the furniture. 

Therefore, I present to you: 

THINGS YOU SHOULD NOT DO WHEN ANXIOUS

–Go on a walk

–Watch a sunset, watch fish in an aquarium, watch glitter, etc.

–Go anywhere where the main activity is sitting and watching

–Draw, color, do anything that occupies the hands and not the mind

–Do yoga, jog, go fishing, or anything that lets you mentally drift 

–Do literally ANYTHING that gives you great amounts of mental space to obsess and dwell on things.

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO WHEN ANXIOUS:

–Do a crossword puzzle, Sudoku, or any other mind teaser game. Crosswords are the best.

–Write something. It doesn’t have to be a masterpiece. Write the Top 10 Best Restaurants in My City. Rank celebrities according to Best Smile. Write some dumb Legolas fanfiction and rip it up when you’re done. It’s not for publication, it’s a relief exercise that only you will see. 

–Read something, watch TV, or watch a movie–as long as it’s engrossing. Don’t watch anything which you can run as background noise (like, off the top of my head, Say Yes to The Dress.) As weird as it seems, American Horror Story actually helps me a lot, because it sucks me in. 

–Masturbate. Yes, I’m serious. Your mind has to concentrate on the mini-movie it’s running. It can’t run Sexy Titillating Things and All The Things That are Bothering Me at the same time. (…I hope. If it can, then…ignore this one.) 

–Do math problems—literally, google “algebra problems worksheet” and solve them. If you haven’t done math since 7th grade this will really help you. I don’t mean with math, I mean with the anxiety. 

–Play a game or a sport with someone that requires great mental concentration. Working with 5 people to get a ball over a net is a challenge which will require your brain to turn off the Sadness Channel. 

–Play a video game, as long as it’s not something like candy crush or Tetris that’s mindless. 

THINGS YOU SHOULD DO DURING PANIC ATTACKS ESPECIALLY:

–List the capitals of all the U.S. states

–List the capitals of all the European countries

–List all the shapes you can see. Or all the colors. 

–List all the blonde celebrities you can think of.

–Pull up a random block of text and count all the As in it, or Es or whatever.  

Now obviously, I am not a doctor. I am just an anxious person who has tried almost everything to help myself.  I’ve finally realized that the stuff people recommend never works because this is a disorder that thrives on free time and free mental space. When I do the stuff I listed above, I can breathe again. And I hope it helps someone here too. 

(Now this shouldn’t have to be said but if the “do nots” work for you then by all means do them. They’ve just never worked for me.)

Lan Wangji °•. ☁ .•° Episode 42

parents who tell their daughters they are ugly are bad parents

Wei Wuxian made the Bonding/Binding Talisman...

Solely because he got inspired by getting tied with a sacred forehead ribbon to his crush.

Look at him admiring the handiwork wrapped around his wrist.

Not to mention that that's the only talisman he made that's colored blue.

as funny as all those “lan wangji hates bugs” headcanons are, i actually love the opposite: lan wangji loves bugs. he can identify a beetle at a glance and he always takes a few extra seconds to admire the spiders that get into the jingshi that he scoops up before he puts them outside. when he was little there was an orb weaver that took up residence beside his window and he called her maiden spider for as long as she lived. they were a special interest of his for a solid few years before bunnies, and he’s still an encyclopedia of bug facts.

but you know who doesn’t like bugs? lan xichen.

so:

lan wangji, age 8, holding up a weird-looking cricket he found: xiongzhang look

lan xichen, age 12, sweating bullets: how nice, wangji

i love this app

Please help a queer black woman leave an abusive household

TW: Abuse, Rape mention and mention of cancer and homophobia/queerphobia

Hi everyone, I am a queer black woman, my name is Chelsea and I desperately need $3500 to help move out of an abusive household.

Throughout my life I have been living with my narcissistic parents who are frequently abusive (both emotionally, physically and homophobic/queerphobic) and it has taken a toll on my mental well-being as I've been diagnosed with chronic anxiety and undiagnosed adhd. My parents continue to speak negatively to me and they have a tendency of using personal hardships that I have been through to belittle me. In 2018 I was raped by someone I knew in highschool. That incident made me ill and I had to be treated for vulvar intraepithelial neoplasia which is a precancerous skin condition. Both my parents use this incident to gaslight, belittle and manipulate me. They also constantly speak down on the queer community and say hateful things, which suggests that they would be physically violent towards any queer people. They are unaware of my sexual orientation and I've been hiding that from them to keep myself safe.

They do not allow me to leave the house unless I am accompanied by someone. I have been trying to look for work so I can become financially independent, but they physically stop me from going to job interviews. I do not know how many more years I can go on being trapped like this.

I’m raising money so I can move out and afford a one-bedroom apartment and start healing in a safer environment and to gain financial independence. I will need funds for transport to move, and for a couple of months groceries and rent as well as funds to get a new ID and passport, my parents keep them from me. I’m hoping to be able to move to another city because my rapist lives in the same neighbourhood and city as me, so not only am I not safe when I am at home, I'm also constantly paranoid during the few occasions that I'm allowed to go out. Please please help if you can!

I will be extremely grateful to anyone that donates any amount at all. If you can't donate may you please share it and hopefully reach someone that can.

I have a PayPal account which is currently the only place I can accept donations:

My PayPal is: paypal.me/chelseanovasummer

Update:

I've added some proof about my living situation with my parents because someone accused me of being dishonest, and basically scamming people for money.