Happy Pride!

I’ve been marathoning “Kill Count” videos (Dead Meat is a great horror channel btw) since last night, and I would like to take an opportunity now to call John Kramer out on his classist bullshit.

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I'm still thinking about Hobie letting Gwen crash with him regularly. Considering how big and busy the Spider Society building is, I would assume they have bedrooms or at least a couch she could have crashed on after she first got there. I think Hobie let her stay with him in part to make her less dependent on Miguel and Jessica. Considering how fast he prepared to help Miles out, I find it hard to believe he wasn't trying to convince Gwen something was wrong too. Though I wonder if she still would have visited Miles without Hobie guaranteeing that she would still have shelter and not be ratted out.

Neglected children will sometimes reassure adults that they’re fine, even when they’re in a horrible state. Neglected kids will feel guilty if anyone is worried about them because they don’t want to be a bother, feel badly for taking anyone’s attention, and don’t want to cause any concern. If as a kid you reassured and convinced people that you’re okay, when you were anything but, know that it’s normal for abused kids to do that. Concern and worry are often things we get guilt tripped for, we’re told we’re “bad” for making anyone worry, “selfish” for causing any kind of distress.

This doesn’t mean anyone is allowed to use this to change the narrative into ‘but you said you were okay’ when you finally admit you were not. Pain and struggle is visible on a child, regardless of how good an actor the child is, for anyone who bothers to pay attention. You pretending you were fine does not absolve anyone of hurting or neglecting you. A child always left to their own devices, reassuring others and insisting they don’t need any attention ever, is obviously not fine. Healthy children thrive on attention and always try to get more.

i dropped off my resume at this place at 1:15 and got called for an interview at 1:45 holy dang

I hope something wonderful happens to you this week. 🌸

Flautist Melissa Jefferson plays slaver James Madison's 200-year-old crystal flute in the Library of Congress.

Happy pride! I know many horrible things are happening, but please remember that joy can be an act of rebellion. Shine your light, your colours. Show up as the authentic you whenever you feel safe to do so, and I hope one day that is everywhere at all times. You deserve to live a life that is authentic to you, and the thing is about authenticity is that it ripples out into the world and sometimes it reaches someone who needs it and makes them feel seen and understood, and maybe even makes them a little more brave and a little more hopeful. I wish you hope and I wish you joy! 🌸

This is a great response and I am going to use it!

Your purpose in life is not to love yourself but to love being yourself.

If you goal is to love yourself, then your focus is directed inward toward yourself, and you end up constantly watching yourself from the outside, disconnected, trying to summon the “correct” feelings towards yourself or fashion yourself into something you can approve of.

If your goal is to love being yourself, then your focus is directed outward towards life, on living and making decisions based on what brings you pleasure and fulfillment.

Be the subject, not the object. It doesn’t matter what you think of yourself. You are experiencing life. Life is not experiencing you.