Lots Of Fanfic Makes Nicky Out To Be Completely Clueless And Hyper But In The Books, Neil Says He Thinks

neil: this is it

matt: how can all your stuff fit in one (1) dufflebag??

neil: i only pack what’s necessary

matt:

matt: 🎵 look for the... baRE NECESSITIES, the SIMPLE BARE NECESSITIES🎵

neil:

neil going around the baltimore hotel and checking the drawers to make sure nothing was left behind is too pure. they may have adopted him, but he still looks out for his own. and he also definitely thinks they’re not responsible enough to remember to check 

FBI: *gives strict instructions*

Neil: *removes one earbud* what

i’ve missed these two

can we talk about how neil gave andrew back his armbands immediately upon his return from easthaven, even when he was warned against it? the neil josten at the beginning of tfc never would’ve willingly armed him. it speaks volumes for the trust the two have built that he gave andrew back his knives with absolutely no hesitation

i have not sent an ask in SO LONG (sorry btw) but hi hello i can’t get medicated andrew out of my head and i need to know your thoughts on how sober andrew views/reconciles with the time he spent medicated

oh my gosh hello again!! i always love your asks <33

medicated andrew makes my heart ache. i think that andrew probably tries not to look back on that time - he can’t do anything to change the past, and i wouldn’t say that he’s made peace with it but he kind of,, accepts it? is resigned to it?

when he was on his meds, andrew couldn’t truly control what he was doing, and dwelling on that loss of control would do more harm than good. his choices and free will were stripped away, and he became a prisoner in his own mind. he might look back on that time with flashes of rage, but he’s pretty good at smothering his emotions, and i’d imagine he’d repress most memories associated with that time, because looking back would be unproductive and pointless

in the future, i could see him looking back on those years with some bitterness maybe, but i don’t think he’d really see the point. the past is the past for him, and he made no promises of revenge for the torture his meds put him through, so i’d imagine that he would generally just opt to completely ignore it. the only exception i could see to that would be in therapy sessions with bee when he was first taken off his meds to see how he was adjusting

here to prompt that 'other time', thoughts on allison? headcanons, character study etc?

thank you for giving me free reign to ramble about this absolute goddess

the short version of this post: allison reynolds is such a underrated character whose trauma is too often overlooked 

the long version:

one of the most common criticisms about allison is that she’s too cold/uncaring. i don’t want to make this a whole post about sexism, but i will say this: it’s shitty to hate a female character for the same reasons you love male characters in the same series. this happens too often in literature (not just aftg) and it’s exhausting. you can obviously have preferences and favourites, but loving andrew for his apathy and hating allison for hers isn’t the vibe. there are valid arguments that people can use to defend their favourites without being hypocritical and sexist

on that note! allison’s apathy isn’t just because she wants to be bitchy - it’s absolutely something that she learned while living with her parents. she would’ve gone to social gatherings where masking your actual emotions is essential and expected, and then she’d have gone home and have her dreams and aspirations bashed and ridiculed by her parents. it’s only natural that she would hide behind that icy persona in order to guard herself. i’m willing to bet that she pretended not to care when her parents disowned her, and only let herself fall apart when she was completely alone. it would have taken her a long time to be vulnerable in front of others

allison’s just become a really great actress who doesn’t let people get close enough to actually see her. it’s a coping mechanism and it’s how she protects herself from hurting more than she already is

and somewhere (i can’t for the life of me remember if this is in the books or the ec, but anyway), it’s mentioned that allison doesn’t get presents from randy. partly because anything that she can afford anything she wants, but also because she doesn’t have a parent figure to talk to, and randy subs in as a mother figure for her. remember that scene where nicky asked neil to convince andrew to go to thanksgiving in columbia, and remember how heartbreaking it was when he said he missed his mom? allison feels the same thing. (some key differences in the actual situations, but the gist of it? she misses her mom so desperately that she clings to any sort of motherly affection she can get)

okay anyway, that’s enough rambling about allison for today. i’m hoping to start posting more allison content, because even though it doesn’t do as well, i love her sm

basically? more allison appreciation pls and thanks xoxo

also!! @codename-adler wrote a foxes + onesies post (well 9 posts, 1 for each fox) and the portrayal of allison is 10/10, i highly recommend checking out their tumblr :)

nicky: honestly if you're short just grow

andrew, knife already in hand: famous last words

I always thought Andrew's big tips were actually for the drugs??? Like to pay them in an inconspicuous way??? The cracker dust at sweetie's and the drug for neil at eden's (also wasn't it aaron who paid in the first sweetie's scene???)

the very excessive tips at sweetie’s were definitely for the cracker dust! but in chapter 9 of the raven king, when all the foxes go to columbia together for halloween, there’s the quote: “Nicky's friendship with the staff and Andrew's generous tips got them instant access and ridiculous discounts on drinks”. so i guess it’s only really confirmed that he tips well at eden’s, but i’m assuming he’d do the same at sweetie’s (even without the cracker dust), especially since they continue to go there after andrew’s deal to quit using the cracker dust. plus, nicky worked there as a host before getting his job at eden’s (it says that in chapter 12 of trk) which would be even more incentive to leave good tips :)

(i think you’re right about aaron paying for sweetie’s and the drugs in tfc. maybe they take turns paying? regardless, he left lots of tips too so i bet they’re just all really generous tippers!)

neil spent his whole life trying to blend in and desperately avoiding being remembered, and i feel like a monumental moment that shows how much he’s changing is when he sees himself on the foxes’ photo wall. he even reaches out, ready to tear the picture down, but he hesitates and leaves it up which is just... huge

 he allows that small piece of himself to live on, he lets is stay there, and he even thinks ahead to the future. he thinks of being dead in a few months and of how that small picture will keep him in people’s memories, and for once, he WANTS to be remembered. he wants people to know that he lived and breathed and was a part of the palmetto state foxes. that he was, however briefly, part of their own little messed up, flawed, perfect family. for the first time in his life, he doesn’t want to let himself fade into oblivion 

and for the first time in his life, he’s ready to die if it means protecting the people he loves