Every Iteration Of This Meme Makes Me Cackle

figured this one could use an update, so here it is in all its full colour glory

click for better quality

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Greetings to moral orel fandom. There goes my little contribution

The Secret Admirer, Chapter 1

Ok guys! Here's chapter one of my discotrain fanfic! I hope you guys like it! It'll be cross posted here and on ao3!

Also, a big thank you to @tristysonic for beta reading this!

“Alright boss, it’s done,”

“Good, darling. Now, let’s get to our seats before anyone notices we’re gone.”

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was another busy morning as the passengers for the owl express loaded the train. The conductor stood by in the main engine room, checking his pocket watch for the time. 

“Five past eight.” He thought to himself. “A few more minutes and we’ll be even more late!” 

As the last few stragglers hurried onto the train, luggage in tow, the Conductor got on the intercom. 

“Alrrrrighty! It is now eight o’ seven! This is the owl express, final destination, the moon!”

After checking all doors were shut and locked via his dashboard, he stuck his head out the window, got out his whistle and blew into it.   

The clear sound pierced the air, and soon the train began to move, with steam pouring out of the chimney as it slowly lurched forward and into a steady pace. As the train came to a decent enough speed that the Conductor could focus on something else, he took his hands off the controls and leaned back in his chair. 

‘What an awful day.’ The Conductor thought to himself. ‘First, the train was late because of a track switch, then some lousy passenger HAD to cause a scene by claiming he lost his ticket! But worst of all, that damn DJ peck neck was on board. He claimed it was so he could get back to his club and resolve something, but the conductor was smarter than that. He could sense something was off with him. The way he avoided his gaze, and his slight fidgeting with his flippers was all too telling that there was some sort of sabotage in store. Why else would he be so nervous?’

The Conductor’s thoughts were interrupted when an express owl approached. 

“Um sir?” He chimed, “There’s something for you in your room.”

‘Something for me? He thought, Must be a part or something that they were too lazy to deliver straight to me, buncha peck necks.’

“Alright, I’ll go see what it is.” He responded. “Keep an eye on the rails for anything dangerous, I’ll be right back.” 

“But I don’t know how to drive a train!” The express owl cried, as the Conductor walked to the door.

“Just pull the red lever on the right if you see anything, and for the love of peck don’t even think about crashing my pride and joy!” he finished, as the door shut, leaving the express owl to figure things out by himself. 

As the Conductor strolled through the familiar walkways of the train, he found himself listening in on some of the conversations going on throughout it.

“Do you think I got anything?” one asked another.

“You? Yeah right! You’d be lucky if she even thought about you again!” the other replied.

“Hey, that hurts…” the first responded. 

And then, another.

“I can’t believe my girlfriend broke up with me last night! Talk about coincidence.”

“Holly? I didn’t know you were still seeing her.”

“Well not anymore.”

“Oh.”

Was there something he was forgetting about? A holiday? He had been so busy focusing on writing his new script and maintaining the train that the days just seemed to float on by. It was February… but what was so important in February? 

Before he could think anymore, he reached it. Compartment 205. His home away from home.

The Conductor turned the doorknob and opened the door, swinging it open. Taking a few steps inside the compartment, he scanned the floor first for any sign of a carelessly thrown package. Nothing. But that was when something red caught his eyes. Looking again, he saw it. A bouquet, quite a large one, settled on his vanity table. After stepping closer, that was when he saw the other items placed beside it. A heart shaped box of chocolates, and a letter. 

“What the peck?” He muttered to himself.

Was this a joke? A prank of some kind? He had never received a bouquet of flowers from someone before. 

Baffled and confused, the Conductor then turned his attention to the chocolates on the table. He opened the container slowly, expecting some sort of confetti to explode in his face once he opened it. Instead, he found a variety of delicious chocolates, just waiting to be eaten. He shook the top of the box a little, and found the guide for the chocolates. 

White chocolate, dark chocolate, vanilla and caramel. Average flavors for chocolate. Nothing out of the ordinary, really. 

Then the conductor realized something, something so obvious, he was surprised he didn’t think of it before. 

‘This must be for someone else! The courier must’ve messed up somehow and delivered it to my room instead of the correct one.’ It’d make sense, he thought, no one would give him such a lavishly, over romantic gift. Flowers? Maybe at an opening of one of his movies. Chocolates? Perhaps during the holidays from his daughter. But all of this? Combined? Never. 

Nodding to himself at the realization, he then began to think of who on the train could have gotten something like this. ‘One of the express owls most likely, unless… 

Oh for pecks sake, it was for DJ Grooves, wasn’t it?’

The conductor groaned at the thought, realizing he would have to see him and hand the pecking thing over. ‘What would the other express owls think, seeing him hand over such a thing? Oh, if they think we’re… we’re…! Gah! I don’t even want to think about it!’ he thought, as his face grew flush.      

Turning his focus to the letter he picked it up and looked it over. It was in a pink envelope, sealed with a red heart sticker. After taking a few moments to himself to calm down, he opened it with his fingers. He began to read:

Dearest Conductor, 

Today, I offer you this humble gift, tomorrow, the world. 

Love, a secret admirer. 

The Conductor froze as he read the last line. A secret admirer? Him? He had received fan mail before, but nothing like this. Nothing so… intimate.  

The reality of it was beginning to sink in. There was someone on this train who was in love with him. But who? There were express owls coming and going at every station, at all times of the day. That doesn’t help at all. Maybe there was a clue somewhere? The conductor looked back at the other items on the table. Roses… red ones at that, but that was nothing out of the ordinary for a romantic gesture. The chocolates maybe? He thought. 

The Conductor picked up the guide again, and noticed something interesting. Didn’t these types of things usually include some sort of fruit filling for some of the chocolates? All the chocolates he used to give to his ex-wife did, at least. 

A little known fact about the conductor was that he hated chocolate with any kind of fruit filling. It was something only a select few other people knew about, something only someone who he was close to would know. That narrows it down, at least. But who would possibly have a crush on him that he knew personally? 

The Conductor thought some more, and finally came up with someone.  

Haven't drawn anything hat in time related in so long i gotta

Should probably upgrade my pinned but I am also lazy </3 hm

Like okay Conductor pack it up

One of the funniest things about enemies-to-lovers ships is how they’re almost always obsessed with each other. Like if a character actively chooses to interact with another character over and over again instead of simply ignoring them? Throw darts at it all you want, but you still printed out a picture of them to hang on your wall

Queen Vanessa from a hat in time

the evils guy under my bed told me to draw my blorbos like this

Here the girls are on an immense search