Sorry For Not Updating Last Week. I Had The Chapter Done So I Figured I’d Get Around To Posting It

Sorry for not updating last week. I had the chapter done so I figured I’d get around to posting it while on vacation, but I couldn’t focus on making sure it was edited so I decided to just wait to post. Anyway, we’re here now and have just a few more chapters before things get even more crazy…

Pairings: Sam Kiszka X Danny Wagner *slash

Warnings and tags: 18+ only please! This is actually a pretty mild chapter so just a few things to mention: jealousy, maybe a little bit of depression, brotherly banter, my sad attempts at humor, mentions of drinking blood, coping with becoming a vampire, vampire!AU

Word count: 4.2k

A few days of private lessons with Danny on how to be inconspicuous when finding ‘volunteers’ as Danny put it, never having liked using terms like ‘hunt’ or ‘victims’, by his report Josh and Jake were both doing a great job adjusting. Jake mostly, he was a natural according to Danny which Sam wasn’t sure exactly how he felt about that.

Josh was a little more inept at learning the new way of life placed before him, but he kept up with the lessons because he didn’t want to seem like the weak twin. And he wanted to get back to work as soon as possible.

“How did tonight go?” Sam questioned when he got home from his extra long shift. Since the break up he’d been staying back at his brothers’ house. Danny would only allow him to stay somewhere other than with him if Sam agreed to go straight from the bar every night to their house - that was only after he offered to sleep on a cot in the cellar room so Sam could take the bed, but Sam knew he wouldn’t be able to handle sharing a room with him.

Even if Sam believed he’d done the right thing by trying to take a step back and focus on his life right now, his family, he knew he was weak at his core. One little slip up and he’d be back in Danny’s arms feeling the full weight of his guilt come crashing down on him all over again. In the meantime, he spent as much time as he could at the bar to keep himself occupied.

“It was okay” Josh answered with a frown. Tonight Danny had told him if he did well then it would be alright for him to go back to work. With the hope of some normality being restored Josh tried his absolute hardest and it was the first night he’d been able to keep himself under control around fresh blood. He’d been practicing his ‘breathing’ techniques like Danny had taught him. Pretending to inhale and exhale while drawing your focus to something other than the blood before fangs appeared - thinking about Mrs. Peter’s flirting with all of the young cowboys who came into the bar when the rodeo was in town was thankfully doing the trick so far.

He’d been proud of himself, but Danny still looked hesitant when he’d given him the go ahead to ease himself back in. Despite how badly he wanted to get back to his bar, the last thing Josh wanted to do was put his customer’s in harm’s way so he really wished Danny had seemed more sure that he was ready.

“So? Does this mean you’ll try again tomorrow?” Sam asked next as he set his book bag down on the table, assuming from the frustrated face Josh was making that he too was being held hostage here another day.

“No, I’m going in tomorrow. I’ve already called Terry and told him I’d be there as soon as I could”.

Sam’s brows shot up in surprise. It was a good thing to hear that Josh was ready to get back to work, they certainly needed the help, but he’d never admit aloud that now there was just going to be one more thing for him to worry about. Surely Danny wouldn’t have agreed to let him start getting out again if there was any real danger, but Sam was still anxious about it all. “That’s great Josh!” He pushed through tight lips before looking around the otherwise quiet and empty house. “Wait, where’s Jake?”

Josh scoffed, looking through the glass of red wine he often poured himself just to fulfill his need for something familiar. Just because he couldn’t drink it anymore didn’t mean he couldn’t still enjoy the novelty of getting out a glass, pouring a good healthy serving, and carrying it around with you from room to room. “They’re still out” he replied with a dramatic eye roll and swirl of the crimson liquid.

“Still?” It was nearly two in the morning… What more could Jake need to learn that they hadn’t already had the time to practice, especially if Jake was ‘such a fast learner’ as Danny had been praising him for.

As if the universe had picked up the festering bitterness shared between them, the two in question came waltzing through the front door being met with scowls from both Josh and Sam. “Hey Sammy, already home? Were we really out that late?” Jake laughed, hiding the curl in his lips with his hand as he looked up at Danny like a teenager being caught trying to sneak in after breaking curfew.

“You two were gone for hours” Josh groaned before throwing his head down into his hands. “I can not wait to find some work to do tomorrow. Staying here is driving me insane”.

“Come on,” Jake went to his brother and gathered him up into a side hug “let’s give the kids some room to talk shall we?”

Josh grumbled under his breath, something along the lines of really needing that glass of wine right now and how was he possibly to survive eternity sober, but he allowed Jake to carry him off further into the house. Jake tossed one last look in Danny’s direction as they left, a look that made Sam suspicious that Jake knew something he didn’t and it made white hot anger bubble up in his stomach.

“How have you been?” Danny asked when Jake and Josh had more or less left earshot - though they could probably hear them from anywhere in the house if Sam was being honest with himself, and he kept that in mind as he formulated his reply.

“Fine” he bit out. I miss you.

“Sorry we were out so late. Jake had a lot of curious questions and we just got to talking…” Danny cut himself short when he saw how Sam’s face twisted in distaste at the idea of them talking for hours. He and Danny used to talk for hours, and look where it had gotten them. Danny steered the conversation, wanting to talk about him instead of his brother. “How was class? I didn’t get the chance to ask you the other day”.

“I’m a little behind still, but this professor has always liked me so I’ll be fine”. Sam didn’t want to be chit chatting right now, he was too afraid he’d say something that would clue Danny in on the fact that he wasn’t over him. Not by a long shot. So instead he blurted out stupid nonsense without paying any mind how it might sound. “I think he’s got a thing for me honestly”.

Sam forced out a strained laugh. Why the fuck did I say that? He thought to himself. Was he trying to make Danny think he was just some dumb student that would sleep around with their teacher for good grades? Yeah, that’s exactly the type of behavior that would give Danny the impression he was moving on, and make Sam look like an entire tool in the process. He thought he was over that phase of his life now.

“Well, I’ve no doubt you will catch up in no time” Danny skated over the awkwardness that consumed their every interaction, choosing to not put any weight in the inappropriate comment about his professor. “Well, I don’t want to keep you up too late. I’ve got some things to check on up at the house anyway”. With his thumb pointed backwards Danny threw his hand over his shoulder towards the door.

“How are things coming along?” Sam rushed out before Danny could turn to leave. “Any of the rooms look habitable yet?”

A soft smile graced Sam’s lips and Danny found himself staring at his perfect mouth for a few beats too long before shaking his head and clearing his throat. “Oh not yet, but you’re welcome to come over whenever you want”.

He knows that idiot, Danny internally shut himself up. He’d already told Sam the same night he’d packed up all of his stuff and left that he would always have a home there with him. Sam didn’t need reminding, he just needed space, or time, whatever would help him process everything. “To see how the renovation is going I mean” Danny quickly tacked on after a few seconds too long of silence.

And just like that Sam’s smile faded again. “I think I’ll be pretty busy with Josh coming back to work”.

“Of course,” Danny nodded harshly, feeling his curls bounce with the force. Which Sam definitely did not also catch. “I’ll be stopping by tomorrow to make sure everything he needed fixed is done. I guess I’ll see you then?”

Sam’s heart fluttered. Even if they weren’t an item at the moment there was nothing wrong with still wanting to see him around. Right?

“I’ll see you then”.

“Good to see you back behind the bar” Terry actually braved coming out from the kitchen to greet Josh before they were sure to get busy for the night. He’d already overheard word was getting around that Josh was back and people were coming in just to see if it was true. It was a rare occasion to see Terry outside of his ‘habitat’ so Sam came bouncing over as well, throwing his arms around Terry’s slightly pudgy center that was usually covered by his apron and giving him a squeeze.

“It’s good to be back” Josh smiled as he cleaned another beer glass and put it back under the shelf to be used when needed. He’d been doing that all night, buffing one glass after another, or at least that’s what Sam saw him doing every time he found a reason to walk by the bar and inconspicuously check on him.

Sam wanted to play it off as having done such an impeccable job taking care of things while Josh was away that he didn’t have to spend all night going around correcting any errors, but in reality he could tell by the set in Josh’s jaw that standing behind the counter with a fake smile on his face and keeping his hands busy was just about the only task he could handle right now.

Terry pat Sam’s arm to acknowledge his presence and continued his conversation. “Have you decided yet if you want strawberry or chocolate?”

“Strawberry or chocolate for what?” Sam butt in, smiling casually.

“The cake” Terry chuckled like he couldn’t believe either of them had forgotten. “The wife is asking”.

It immediately clicked to Sam what he meant just as Josh abruptly stopped wiping the inside of his next glass. Terry’s wife made a birthday cake for the twins every year, and they always closed early to have the party right here at the bar. He looked past Josh to the calendar of national parks hanging on the wall, scanning his eyes across the page featuring the Great Smokies to find that this Wednesday was indeed their birthday.

“Tell her strawberry will do fine” Josh finally spoke up as he set the towel and glass he was working on down. “Jake loves strawberry, and pink is his color” he joked in his usual fashion before excusing himself and wandering off towards his office.

“Well I better get back in there, those patties aren’t going to grill themselves”. Terry turned to Sam and squeezed his shoulder - his version of the full on hug Sam had just given him.

When the coast was clear Sam snuck into the office, finding Josh slumped over in his chair with a worried look on his face. “Hey, we can come up with an excuse to cancel this year. You can stay home again Wednesday and I’ll kick everyone out of here quickly at closing so we can just celebrate together…” Just as Sam was speaking he started to work himself up as well, realizing that this would be the first of many many birthdays the twin’s would have that didn’t really mean anything anymore.

No, fuck that, I’ve got a limited number of birthdays with them. We can still celebrate.

“We can’t do that” Josh lifted his head up with his eyes still pinched closed and let out a sigh. “I’m supposed to be acting normal right? I can’t cancel my own birthday party and it not raise questions”.

He had a point. The bar staff looked forward to this party every year. Partly because it was the only time they were allowed to drink on the premises for free, and because it was the one night a year Josh let loose and took off his ‘boss cap’. Actually he always made a show of theatrically taking off his metaphysical hat at the end of the night, signaling that the party had officially begun with a round of shots. Tequila. Another drink Josh would likely be bellyaching about no longer being able to partake of.

“Ok, so we're doing this? Wednesday night?”

Though Sam was the last person he needed to pretend to, Josh flashed a toothy smile as he tried to find the positives to their situation. This was still a party after all, everyone was going to be drunk, how well behaved did he really need to be?

“Can’t wait to see what Terry’s wife wears this year. There’s no way she’s beating that green and purple dress from last time”.

Sam laughed at the exact memory Josh was having. The poor lady loved to shop but she never had anywhere to wear the outfits she bought online, so for years now she had been coming to their birthday party in more and more elaborate dresses. She was a sweetheart though and she adored all of them for treating Terry so well.

“You better start planning what you’re wearing now, less you get shown up again at your own party!”

With that crisis seemingly averted, Sam left Josh to work on tidying up his books and went to go see if Danny had come to stop by yet…

The next few days felt like things were getting back to the way they were before Josh took his ‘break’. The excitement of him coming back had all but worn off by now, which meant they were back to being dead between the rushes. No one minded the down time though, that only gave all of the staff extra time to prepare for the party.

“At least we’ll have something to celebrate” Josh commented optimistically with the official passed inspection paperwork from the fire department in his hand. “Tell Danny I said thank you again” he added before noticing the way Sam wiggled anxiously at the idea of talking to him. “Or I can?”

“We haven’t talked since the other night when he stopped by” Sam bashfully admitted. Josh was exactly the last person he wanted to talk to about his complicated relationship situation with, but he was also just about the only person who understood the full reason why they had broken up. Well him and Jake, but Jake had been on the short end of Sam’s shit list for a few nights now.

“He’s trying to give you space you know”. Josh wasn’t about to lecture Sam on what an idiot he was being. Danny was a great guy, they’d all come to understand that after all he had willingly done for their family, but it was more complicated than that. The idea of trying to date anyone now turned Josh off almost immediately. Some day he’d get over it and find someone interesting enough that he wouldn’t care about how fucked up it was to claim a human as his own. Yeah, Danny had very awkwardly tried to explain that to them one night. It wouldn’t have been that weird of a thing to hear about if it hadn’t been his very own little brother he knew Danny was referring to every time he mentioned ‘the last human he called his’.

It was also odd hearing Danny speak about humans like they were a whole other species entirely. Blood, that’s all they needed to survive. Well no sunlight, no wooden stakes to the heart, and no silver ‘unless you want to figure out how bad that shit burns’ Danny had warned. Besides those rules, Josh felt human still. He still felt pain when he stubbed his toe on the couches in the basement because it was so fucking dark down there. He still felt emotions, sad most of the time if he’d admit it, but happy too every once in a while which gave him hope for the future.

And hunger, he still felt hunger. Before he could tell when his body was thirsty or hungry, but now the feeling all combined into one mind numbing throb of his throat. Josh had been sticking to the diet Danny had given them of eight ounces of blood a day. Eight ounces was just enough to be filling considering a new vampire’s heightened appetite, but was also a useful measurement to train on drinking because it was mostly safe for humans to lose that much blood at once. How thankful Josh had been that he didn’t have to figure that number out on his own.

He could drink his allowance all in one go or make it last through the night, but Josh chose to have it in a coffee mug first thing after waking up so that he could heat it up in the microwave making it easier to drink. Actually, he’d even asked Sam to blindly sniff the appliance one night, worried that his constant heating would leave a weird metallic smell behind. Sam said it smelled fine, but even then Josh felt like he could smell it every time he walked near the kitchen. Coincidently, he had no reason to go into the kitchen often anymore, so he avoided it mostly.

“I know. I asked him to” Sam’s reply made Josh finally put the paperwork he’d been looking over away in his desk drawer for proper storing later.

“I get why you’re upset. I mean we’re all upset right?” Except for maybe Jake… “But everyone is trying to move on. Danny is going to move on too, sooner or later, and I don’t want to see how hurt you will be when that happens”.

“Ok, I’ll just keep my feelings to myself then” Sam crossed his arms against his chest and pouted.

“You know that’s not what I meant. What I’m saying is, don’t give him the chance to move on. Not without you at least. The two of you can move on together”.

“And we’ll hold hands as we walk into the bright white light!” Sam grabbed his brother’s hand and turned him around until they were facing the office door, holding up his free hand to shield his eyes like there was indeed a blinding light coming from the hallway. “All those years of passing notes back and forth on the pews, arguing with our Sunday school teacher! We should’ve been paying attention!”

“Alright! Cut the theatrics” Josh pulled his arm free, accidentally jerking Sam backwards a bit.

“Come on,” Sam continued, acting like he hadn’t been startled by Josh’s show of strength. “Everyone’s waiting for us on the other side”.

As much as Sam didn’t want to think about Danny, the longer the night went on the harder it was to not mull over the discussion he’d had with Josh.

The two of you can move on together.

Maybe Josh was right. It was a willful attempt on Sam’s part at trying to convince himself to go and talk to Danny, but he didn’t want to approach him out in the open where every drunk person at this party could come crashing into them at any second.

“Hey Sam! We’re getting low on ice!” Terry called out to him. He was hunched over the cooler trying to scoop out the last few cubes floating around in the water at the bottom. It was only April for crying out loud, and it was already hot enough to melt an entire cooler in an hour. “I’m going to go dump this, will you take the buckets from the bar and get some more?”

Shit, I’ll have to carry those all the way out here. They’re heavy when they’re full of ice. That’s when Sam got a bright idea. “Sure thing!” He beamed at Terry and quickly turned on his heel to find where Danny had slipped away to next.

Danny really had been enjoying himself at the party. Jake of all people had been the one to invite him. He got the message when it didn’t come from either of the other brothers, so he kept his distance the best he could. When Sam ultimately came walking straight towards him though, he couldn’t help but stand frozen with his eyes stretched wide like a deer caught in headlights.

“Would you do me?” Was honestly all that he heard come out of Sam’s mouth in that moment. He blinked a couple of times, mouth flapping open and closed a few times too, until he took a shot and replied.

“Of course”.

“Great!” Sam smiled and Danny felt a phantom shock course through his veins. Like his heart was in trying to pound back to life at just the sight of it. “Can you go inside and fill the ice buckets behind the bar then bring them back here?”

It was obvious now that Sam had asked him will you do me a favor. And he had technically already agreed…

“Bring them back here?” Danny looked around at where he was standing, near the tree line away from everyone else. What a stupid thing to ask.

Sam laughed, and suddenly Danny didn’t feel so stupid any more because he would’ve performed a whole circus act had he known he could still get Sam to laugh. “Over there where Terry’s at”.

“Right” Danny agreed and he handed off the bottle of warm beer he’d been holding onto to look like he was drinking like everyone else. Normally Sam wouldn’t condone pouring alcohol on grass, but he walked for a bit until he found a large enough pile of dirt and dumped the whole thing out.

Okay, give him a few minutes then follow him inside. That had been Sam’s plan all along, get him alone so they could talk… but what was he going to say? Sam started to panic as he tossed the now empty beer bottle into a trash can they’d drug outside in an attempt to lessen the amount of broken glass they had to clean up out of the gravel after last year's party.

“Hey Sam!” A sweet sounding southern voice called out his name. Sam turned to see Terry’s wife standing before him in a hot pink fully sequined pantsuit.

“Oh my god”. He stopped in his tracks, momentarily forgetting that he’d been on a secret mission while he pulled her in for a hug. “You look great tonight! Whatever is Terry going to do!”

“Well for starters he can ask me to dance” she pursed her lips and rolled her eyes over to where her husband was working on pulling the cooler back to its designated spot for the night.

“Did you go get that ice?” Terry asked, slightly confused about why Sam was still standing there.

Sam bit his lip between his teeth and glanced over his shoulder. Danny should be done soon, had he missed his chance? “I asked Daniel to do it. I’ll go check on him right now”. With Terry now watching his back Sam had no choice but to follow Danny inside.

Besides the few people that stumbled in to use the bathroom. The bar was dark and empty, and quiet. Quiet enough that as soon as he pulled the back door open and entered the back hallway Sam could hear hushed voices.

“Why don’t we pick up where we left off last time?”

Sam instantly recognized that voice, he’d heard it nearly every night for weeks grating on his last nerve. Diane, once again, wasn’t minding her own business. She must’ve had the same idea as Sam about getting him somewhere alone.

“I’m sorry, but last time wasn’t what you think it was” Danny tried to reason with her politely, and it only made Sam angry that he didn’t just tell her to fuck off. That’s the only way she’d ever understand, didn’t he get that?

“Come on now, what’s the matter?” She playfully sulked in a baby voice that made Sam physically heave. “Is it Sam? I thought you guys broke up?”

“We- we did” Danny stuttered out. Sam was only glad he was still around the corner and couldn’t see the way she probably had her hands snaking all over him.

“Ha! I wasn’t sure you had, but by the way he’s been moping around here I already knew!” She sounded proud of herself for the outstanding detective work. “So what do you say? We can ditch the party. I’ve seen the way Sam’s been avoiding you all night. He won’t even notice you’re gone”.

What a bitchy thing to say, but even Sam knew she was right. If Danny did decide to leave with her now he wouldn’t have much to rightfully say about it. In a fit Sam turned to leave, but just as he reached for the door he kicked over a beer bottle some asshold had left on the floor. With his presence now known to everyone inside, Sam threw the door open and ran back outside.

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