I THOUGHT THAT SAID QUIET OVULATION FOR A SECOND IM BEING SO SERIOUS IM PISSING MYSELF-

My Sander Sides Enlightment

You know what’s always kinda bothered me? Those mean takes on the other sides. Like ‘Janus is manipulating Patton and isn’t actually trying to be friends with him,’ ‘Patton has too much moral superiority,’ ‘Roman never learns,’ So on and so forth. There is something bad to say about all the sides. No hate to anyone who's made one, you are valid and probably right in your own way. I think the only reason they bother me so much is because you can easily say the opposite. The most common phrase being ‘Nobody listens to ____’

“Nobody listens to Patton! He was trying to show the others that Virgil was good all along and only when Virgil was gone did they listen.”

“Nobody listens to Logan! He gets ignored constantly and he’s getting mad because of it.”

“Nobody listens to Roman! Every time he comes up with a solution, he gets shut down only to get blamed for not coming up with a solution.”

“Nobody listens to Virgil! He only gets listened to when he forces Thomas to hear him, and he doesn’t like doing that.”

“Nobody listens to Janus! Even when he has good ideas and arguments, they get pushed to the side because he is a dark side.”

“Nobody listens to Remus! That was the entire point of an episode. And all he wants is to be listened to, it doesn’t matter who.”

And all of these are valid points. But at some point, you have to wonder who’s not listening the most. Which is how I think the criticism posts of the characters came to be in the first place. But I don’t think any of them are to blame. Even when this new side gets revealed, it won’t be his fault either. The fault isn’t on Roman, or Logan, or Janus, or any of them.

It's on Thomas.

And of course I don’t mean ‘Writer Thomas,’ I mean ‘Character Thomas.’ Throughout the series, Thomas has always held himself high. You can’t be perfect, but you can try to be. And every time a situation comes up, he doubts himself, wondering if he’s even any good at all.

And in comes the sides, telling him that he can’t be bad and here's why. In fact, Thomas won’t let himself be bad at anything. Can’t be a bad worker, can’t be a bad actor or singer, and certainly can’t be a bad friend. Even in situations where he wouldn’t even be those things, he can’t even let himself risk it.

And so, the sides follow suit.

Logan becomes the perfect person for knowledge and learning, never letting himself be anything less than right all the time.

Roman strives to be perfect physically and materialistically, coming up with creative ideas that help Thomas move up in the world or, at the very least, make himself feel better.

Patton is the perfectly moral person. Make sure everyone is alright, help whenever and wherever you can, and always keep a smile on. Wouldn’t want anyone worrying for you, right? That wouldn’t be good.

Virgil is the perfect alarm system. Even false alarms are taken with the utmost seriousness. Just as long as no one else knows your anxious.

Janus is a deceiver. And Thomas lies often. So he needs to be the best at putting on a face and making sure nothing goes off without a hitch. Wouldn’t want people catching him in a lie. He needs to be the perfect liar.

And then there's Remus. The only one who tries not to be perfect. But that idea terrifies the others so much, Remus is left to pick up all of the imperfection slack. Maybe that's why Remus was offended when he was called ‘Scary.’

Trying to be so many perfect things all at once, you’re going to but heads with all of the different aspects of yourself. You're going to not listen. You're going to ignore. And in some cases, your perfectionism is going to make you look like the bad guy. And as someone with perfectionism, I relate a little too hard.

Thank you for reading.

ACCEPTING ANXIETY, Part 1&2: the real turning point

I thought a lot about how to analyze this first season finale.

At first, I wanted to make two separate posts, then one, then two again. In the end I decided to put part 1 & 2 together in one single post, otherwise I would’ve ended up talking about the same themes twice.

As you can guess, these themes are all centered around Anxiety and they are as juicy as you can imagine. So let’s not waste any more time and let’s talk about the first season finale.

_______________________________

Mr. Sanders is messing with me

First of all, let’s take a moment to analyze the two titles given to the two parts of the season finale: Excepting Anxiety and Can Anxiety Be Good?

Speaking of the first title, I love the assonance/contrast it gives, when we read it in full. “ACCEPTING ANXIETY, Part ½: Excepting Anxiety!”: it sounds like a pun (accepting him, except accepting him ahaha), but we can also consider it a perfect recap of how Anxiety has been considered until that moment.

In Taking on Anxiety, Thomas said:

[Thomas]: I have anxiety. There’s nothing wrong with that. It’s something I can control.

That means Thomas acknowledged Anxiety’s presence and accepted this Side as part of him.

However there is a difference between accepting a Side and accepting the presence of a Side. Think about Remus’ case: Thomas knows he is a natural part of himself and tolerates his presence, but that doesn’t mean Remus has been accepted (yet).

Same happened with Anxiety in season 1: Thomas accepted his presence and he’s okay if Anxiety sticks around. But he still refuses to acknowledge that this Side might be important for his well being. He’s still refusing Anxiety’s role. Paradoxically, Anxiety has been accepted… except for his anxiety.

While the second title not only reconnects to this idea of accepting Anxiety for his role, but it questions said role. For the first time, Thomas is tackling it from a different perspective: he’s not thinking about how to deal with anxiety, but about the nature of the role itself. Maybe this role isn’t intrinsically bad and he doesn’t just have to “control” it. Maybe Anxiety isn’t just a bad guy. Maybe there’s more to him. Maybe he can be good.

And, since Mr. Sanders is a bad person, he will definitely NOT use the same title for a future episode called Can LYING Be Good in which, guess what, we will see a character who doesn’t have ANY connections with Anxiety, nope nope, they definitely didn’t show any similarities until now.

See? See? It’s not me who sees them as father and son, everything is screaming at me that they are father and son! I can’t wait for the fucking episode in which they will say “hey, we actually know each other”, so I can throw my best “WOW WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT THAT, WHAT A SURPRISE”.

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1 year ago