Tiredofeverythingandmyself - Val

❣️ "Shipping" characters means that you are interested in the idea of what it would be like if characters were involved in a romantic or sexual relationship with each other.

❣️ Shipping something does not mean that you think that the relationship would be the most ideal, desirable, healthy or moral relationship for the characters to be in.

❣️ Shipping something does not mean that you think it should be canon.

❣️ Shipping something does not mean you think it would be good, healthy or desirable in real life.

❣️ Shipping something just means that you think that it's interesting to think about, look at art of, read fiction about, write fiction about, or create art about.

❣️Shipping something means you think it is interesting in some way, not that you think it is morally good or desirable.

Perhaps it's just because I'm a short woman who happens to enjoy both frilly dresses and sex, but I get so mad when people say Ariana grande or Sabrina carpenter are encouraging pedos by uh .... being short, enjoying cute things, and enjoying sex. I'm sorry some adult women are very cute and hot and like sex. And it literally has nothing to do with children. The people accusing them of being creeps are the ones inserting children into the discussion at all. (hyumjim voice) And I'm NOT supposed to be creeped out by that???

✨ dinosaurifies ur kawoshin ✨

Shinji as Dromaeosaurs

Kaworu as Saurornithoides

They had just finished up band practice when Vickie overheard Jordan and Brandon talking about Eddie Munson. Robin had walked out already, promising to wait outside the band hall for her.

"I don't know, man, I still think Eddie did it," Jordan said.

"They wouldn't have let him back into school if they thought he was still a murderer, Jordan," Brandon said.

"They were willing to ignore the fact that he was selling drugs, man," Jordan said.

"It's just weed," Brandon sighed and rolled his eyes.

"No, I heard he sells special K too," Jordan said. "That's the date rape drug. I wouldn't be surprised if he was using it on those kids in his club."

"Hey, Jordan," Vickie snapped.

She was seeing red. She had never been this angry in her entire life. She had been hanging out with Robin a lot lately, trying to work up the courage to ask her out. Hanging out with her meant hanging out with Robin's friends, and she's enjoyed hanging out with them. She's seen the way Eddie was with Dustin and his friends, the way he was willing to own up to the mistakes he did make. He didn't have a killer bone in his entire body.

"Shit, Vickie's pissed. Have you ever seen her pissed?" Jordan asked with wide eyes.

"Nope, and it looks like it's directed at you, pal," Brandon said.

"Hey, Vickie," Jordan smiled gently.

"Jordan, your dad's a pharmaceutical salesman, right?" Vickie asked, trying to remain level-headed.

"Yeah?" Jordan asked.

"Well, what's the difference between what he does and what Eddie does?" Vickie asked.

"Well, his drugs aren't illegal," Jordan scoffed. "And he doesn't use them to kill people."

"Dude," Brandon said and gave him a warning look.

"He and Steve Harrington are awfully chummy. Bet they use the drugs on Buckley to - ,"

All Vickie could see was red, and before she knew it, her fist was flying into his face. Her eyes widened when his head snapped back, and blood started to gush from his nose.

"The difference is that yes, the drugs are illegal," Vickie said, shaking. "Some of your dad's drugs are addictive and some aren't, just like Eddie's. What makes them the same is the fact that they can't know what someone's going to do with them, so the fact that Eddie sells drugs has shit to do with what happened. You don't know what happened because you don't know Eddie. He could never hurt a fly."

"You're crazy, just like -," but Jordan was interrupted.

"Hey!" Brandon snapped. "You were being a douchebag, so much so that sweet, calm Vickie Fisher punched you in the face. If anyone asks, I'm going to tell them you tripped, and no one will believe you that you got punched by Vickie because I'm pretty sure that most everyone in here has her back. Go on, Vickie, I'll deal with this asshole."

"Thanks, Brandon," Vickie said softly.

She was running on pure adrenaline when she walked up to Robin. She was leaning against Steve’s car, talking to both Steve and Eddie. There was no one else around when Vickie popped up beside Robin.

"Hey, Fishie," Eddie grinned.

Normally, she would tell Eddie off affectionately for calling her that, but she left it alone this time.

"Robin, do you want to go out with me?" Vickie asked, knowing already that she was out to Steve and Eddie.

Eddie squealed, gasped, and held onto Steve.

"Stevie, it's happening!" Eddie said excitedly.

"I know!" Steve grinned.

"Uh. . .yeah. Yes, I would very much like to go out with you," Robin grinned, blushing.

Vickie grinned and slipped her arm through Robin's.

"So, what made you decide to ask out our dear sweet Birdie?" Eddie asked.

Vickie opened her mouth to answer but was interrupted by Jordan approaching them. His nose was red, and he had missed a few spots of blood, but he suddenly looked apologetic.

"Uh, Vickie? I just wanted to apologize. I realize now that I was talking shit about stuff I know nothing about. I said some awful things about your friends. I know that now. I'm sorry," Jordan said. "You have a mean right hook, by the way."

Before she could say something, he was walking away.

"Ah, so it was adrenaline after you defended Robin's honor," Eddie said.

"Not just Robin's, yours too, Eddie," Vickie blushed.

"Aw, Fishie," Eddie said, squishing her face. "You don't have to do that. That's what I have Steve for."

"That is not what you have Steve for," Steve replied, and Vickie giggled.

Robin leaned her head against hers.

"I want to kiss you so badly," Robin whispered.

"Boys, argue later. Let's get out of here!" Vickie exclaimed.

Of course, as soon as they drove off with Vickie and Robin in the backseat, Vickie was capturing Robin's lips with hers. She could hear Eddie wolf whistle, then Steve scolding him. Robin started laughing against her lips, causing Vickie to do the same.

Things I Need:

1. An orgasm 2. Attention 3. $50,000

The Last Steve Harrington

The apocalypse sucked.

The sky was always the same depressing shade of Vecna Scarlet and Steve hadn’t seen the sun in 432 days. Or what he thought had been 432 days. It was hard to tell sometimes without anything to mark the passage of time. He tried to sleep when he was tired but couldn’t let his guard down with Demodogs and Demobats roaming around. Vecna had left Hawkins, but the open portals still spit out the occasional Upside Down monster. Sleeping also meant dreaming and nightmares. Steve didn’t know which were worse; the dreams where everyone was alive and he had to wake up or the nightmares where he watched them die over and over again. He didn’t sleep much.

He had slowly made his way through every house in the area looking for food and supplies, but there was only one left. Which meant it was time to leave Hawkins. He would scavenge the last house and then head out. He didn’t really have a plan but figured he would just start walking in the opposite direction to the one Vecna had taken. He went up to the house and broke the glass above the door. Sticking his hand in carefully to avoid the shards, he unlocked it from the inside. He opened the door and listened carefully for any movement before heading to the kitchen.

He checked the cupboards first, knowing not to touch the fridge. The power had turned off in the first few months of Vecna’s invasion and never came back on. The first few cupboards had plates and dishware so he kept looking until he came across the canned goods. The first cans were baked beans.

“Why is there always beans?” Steve asked himself. He fucking hated beans. Moving them to the side, he spotted canned peaches and Campbell’s soup.

“Jackpot.”

He grabbed them, put them on the counter, and went searching for water. Food had never been a problem but water was getting harder to find. The grocery store and super-market had been cleaned out of bottled water after the ‘earthquake,’ and the taps weren’t working anymore. There also hadn’t been any rain since Vecna fucked up the sky so no way to get fresh water. Luckily, he found some bottles in the pantry, along with stale cookies. Delicious. He grabbed his backpack off his shoulder and dumped everything out onto the counter.

The backpack had all his worldly possessions. The peaches and soup went to the bottom of the bag with the rest of his canned goods. He ate the cookies as he repacked. He used to have more clothes but they were a waste of space. Underwear and socks were the only spare clothes he kept anymore. He also had a blanket, flashlight, lighter, cigarettes, ammunition, spare batteries for his Walkman, some tapes, and Dustin’s copy of The Hobbit. He shoved his bat back down the side and zipped it up to keep everything in place. Unclipping his canteen from the side, he refilled it with the bottled water.

He hefted the bag, pleased that the new cans didn’t add too much weight and threw it back over his shoulder. Steve looked down for a moment, taking stock of himself. Boots from War Zone were laced up to his ankles. A machete was strapped to his left leg with the holster for his handgun right above it. His jeans were filthy but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. Every bit of him was covered in grime, water too precious to use for washing. He had a thick grey sweater on with Eddie’s jacket layered over top. He nodded. Time to go.

After leaving the house, Steve looked around. When he had started scavenging, he had worked his way from the heart of Hawkins and moved outwards. He had saved this house for last because it was on the very outskirts of the city. Walking to the road he looked right then left. Left led back to Hawkins and right led out of the city.

“Good-bye,” he said to the only home he had ever known and turned right down the road.

The only good thing about the sky being fucked was he didn’t have to worry about the weather anymore. The bad thing about the sky being fucked was no plants could grow anymore and all the trees were either dead or dying, leaving very little cover on the open road. Steve hated feeling so exposed, but at least he could also see anything coming towards him. Stopping for a moment, he took his Walkman out of the bag and popped in his Bruce Springsteen tape. He put the headphones around his neck and turned the volume all the way up. He needed to be able to hear so he never put the headphones over his ears.

He had a few tapes in his bag but Springsteen was his favourite. He had listened through it twice when a distortion appeared in front of him. It looked like a portal, the edges of reality bending into a focal point. It shimmered and cracked with electricity. Jesus Christ, Steve could not handle Demodogs or Demobats in the middle of nowhere without any cover or defensible position. He could handle one dog, maybe a couple of bats. But what were the odds that only a manageable few would come out of a portal? Slim to none. Steve was fucked.

Maybe that’s a good thing.

Steve had promised Dustin before he died that he would fight. That he would never give up. And over the past year, he had wanted to give up over and over and over. But he kept going. Because that promise was all he had left. But the portal was opening, and he was tired. There was nowhere for him to run. This was the end. Steve was… relieved. It was finally going to be over. He dropped his bag and took his bat out. He wouldn’t go down without a fight…he had promised after all.

The distortion pulsed once before breaking open into a doorway, Steve took a step back but stopped and stared in bewilderment when it wasn’t The Upside Down on the other side. The sky was blue and sunlight leaked out, close enough that Steve could feel its warmth. The grass was green and a sweet-smelling wind swept over him. His bat slipped from his fingers. Standing in front of him were his kids.

He was dead.

He didn’t know how it happened and he didn’t care.

He sobbed and ran to them.

Dustin. Max. Will. Eleven. Lucas. Mike.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He cried as he got closer. He reached Dustin first and crushed the younger man into his chest. The rest of them crowded in around him, hugging him. He opened his arms to gather them all close. Tears were streaming down his face as he laughed and cried and held them. He closed his eyes and turned his face up to the sun, feeling the warmth on his face. This was heaven. It must be. He had missed them so much. His kids.

“Where’s everyone else? Where’s Eddie?” he asked, looking around. He needed to see him. If Steve was dead, then he should be here, too. Everyone should be here.

“We didn’t tell them we were looking for you,” Dustin replied. “We didn’t want them to get their hopes up in case we couldn’t find you.”

That…made no sense. Steve dropped his arms and stepped back from them. Max and Eleven stuck close to his sides, holding on to the sleeves of his sweater like they were afraid he was going to float away.

“What?”

“It took El a long time, she traveled to-” Dustin trailed off and turned to Eleven, “how many did you go to El?”

“Thousands,” she said and nodded. “I would have gone to a thousand more.”

“I don’t understand. Thousands of what?”

“Parallel universes, Steve. Keep up!” Dustin said.

Steve blinked. Parallel what?

“You’re all dead,” Steve said slowly, “and I’m dead.”

“No!” they yelled.

“Our Steve died when we killed Vecna. El has been searching through parallel universes to find a Steve who had lost us and we finally found you,” Max chimed in for the first time.

“Why did it take so many?”

Eleven looked uncomfortable. “The circumstances had to be right. I could not take a Steve away from his family.” There was something they weren’t telling him. Eleven didn’t lie, but she was skirting the truth right now and Steve could tell.

“What were the others like? The other Steves?”

She turned away from him. Looked at Mike and then Dustin. Both of the younger boys looked back wide eyed and terrified. An awful feeling started curdling in Steve’s gut.

“Steve-” Dustin started but Eleven beat him to it.

“They all died, Steve. In every other universe Steve Harrington dies.”

“El!” Mike yelled.

“Friends do not lie.”

“Every one?” Steve asked, startled.

“Yes,” she replied. “Every one. Except for you.”

“How? How did they all die?”

“They sacrificed themselves to save us. To save the world.”

The words hung in the air around them. Steve turned back to the open portal that showed the hell-scape that was his home. He hadn’t sacrificed himself. He had lived and his world had ended. The truth smacked him hard in the face. If he had given up his life, everyone he cared about would still be alive. An easy choice to make for every single Steve Harrington in every single universe, except for him. The coward who chose himself.

He was going to be sick. He pushed the kids away and tumbled to his knees. He vomited into the grass, his body shaking from the force of it.

“I don’t belong here,” Steve whispered but Max heard him.

“Yes, you do,” she said with no hesitation.

“I’m the only one who didn’t sacrifice himself and my world ended. How the hell can I live with myself knowing that? Knowing that I doomed my whole world and everyone I loved because I was afraid?”

“I watched you die many times,” Eleven said. “Saving Dustin, or Max, or Eddie or me. Steve always put himself in front of us because he did not think he mattered as much as we did. So, I am glad that you were afraid. That in one universe you saved yourself. You deserve to live just as much as the rest of us. Don’t you think your Eleven or your Dustin would be happy you lived? That you made it back to us?”

“I don’t know! They’re dead and I’m not and I don’t know what to do with this – this new life you’re trying to give me. I don’t deserve it! I failed them! They needed me to be strong, to be their protector and instead I saved myself!” Steve stood up and pointed his finger at her. “You’re not my Eleven,” he said and then spun around to Dustin, “and you’re not my Dustin and I sure as shit am not your Steve.”

He was breathing erratically and couldn’t catch his breath properly. Steve spun and ran for the portal that would take him back to where he belonged. He would go home to the apocalypse he had created and he would let something kill him so he could be with his family. That’s all he deserved.

The world went black before he reached it.

Part 2

Imagine that ex-husband Gojo is baffled by you giving him the cold shoulder upon your return from your romantic getaway with his replacement.

As far as he knew, Satoru didn't bother you or anyone else (except Suguru) about his grief over this trip whatsoever. So why were you upset with him? Why aren't you back happy, well-rested, glowing, possibly with a ring? (Even if that last one would've broken Satoru for good.)

"Hey, did you-- Where'd she go?" Satoru popped his head into a classroom at the Kyoto school where he'd just finished a meeting. As soon as he opened his mouth, you took off out of the room's other door. Sen looks up unimpressed while his friends give each other a dubious look.

"That's her business," he grumbles.

You'd been dodging him for going on two weeks now and while Satoru's always had an unbreakable spirit, he was beginning to think that he should leave you well enough alone. Even after the divorce, you never avoided him like this.

Sen watches his father's face fall and morph into genuine sorrow.

'He doesn't deserve her anyway.' Sen reminds himself over and over again. Satoru mumbles an apology and turns to leave.

Hikari Higuruma and Naoki Zenin both kick him under their desks.

"Come on, man," Nao murmurs.

"Say something!" Hikari hisses.

Both of Sen's friends are the type to respond to "will you help me hide a body?" with "yeah, what snacks should I bring and how many shovels do we need?" With that in mind, their disapproval in this scenario seriously puts the situation into perspective for Sen. That, and he thinks his mother stands to lose the most if he doesn't speak up.

'Dammit,' Sen thinks to himself.

"Dad!" he barks. Satoru must've truly been deep in thought when the sharp crack of his son's voice is enough to make him jump. He turns and Sen leans back in his chair, trying to look nonchalant.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Sen says before thinking of a caveat. "This time." He may not know the details, but Sen at least knows you well enough that whatever happened on your couples' retreat had nothing to do with anything Satoru did.

Satoru looks hopeful. "Then what's--"

"Didn't I just say that's her business?" Sen snaps. "Go ask her if it's so important!" Satoru affords his son a small smile. There's a nonzero chance that he spoke up out of pity, but Satoru is sure the majority of Sen's motivation was for your sake. If there's anything without doubt in this world, it's Sen's love for you.

"Right." Satoru tosses a green packet to his son, who easily catches it in one hand. "Thanks anyway, kiddo!" Good thing he grabbed a pack of chocorooms the last time he was at the train station.

As Satoru leaves, Hikari snatches the pack from Sen.

"Oh, I fuck with these," she says, tearing the bag open.

Nao reaches over. "Hand those over!"

"No way, you're too slow!"

"Those are literally mine."

"Get off!"

Satoru smiles. His son was never as lonely as he was growing up and he never would be as long as those two were around.

Imagine ex-husband Gojo hearing your soft sniffles from inside a random storage closet. He hasn't seen or heard you cry in, what, fifteen years?

He softly taps on the door. "Hi," he murmurs.

The sniffling immediately stops as you contemplate the likelihood of him going away. But you know him like you know yourself and even if you don't let him inside the closet, he'd sit down and wait by the door until you're ready. And if you don't talk to him after that, he'd walk you home. And if you were silent the whole way home, he'd keep his mouth shut until you were ready.

And that just about sums up the kind of person your husband is.

Ex-husband. Fuck.

You reach out and unlock the door, which Satoru takes as his cue to come in and shut it behind him. Normally, he'd cup your face in his hands like you were the most precious thing in the world (you are, as far as he's concerned) and wipe your tears with his thumbs, but he can't do that now because you've been avoiding him for a while now and you may or may not be engaged to someone else.

"This is my own fuck up, Satoru," you tell him with a big sniffle. You try to collect yourself before tears start to fall again. Putting your face in your hands, you tell him, "You don't need to comfort me. This is my own fault."

Satoru takes your hands in his. He doesn't feel a ring and he hates himself for feeling hopeful about that.

"Did he propose?" he asks as neutrally as he can.

You rest your forehead against his chest. "He might as well have. He offered me a promise ring. It was beautiful. I couldn't have designed a better one myself."

Saying it out loud make the guilt even heavier.

Satoru isn't afraid of much, but he is afraid to ask, "And?"

"And." You purse your lips and he deserves eye contact right now, but you don't have the strength. "I couldn't accept it."

Satoru's heart skips a beat and he curses himself for it. But even he's taking aback. The perfect man just served himself to you on a silver platter and you said no?

"Oh," is all he can say.

You reply, "Yeah. Oh."

"Why?" he can't help but ask.

"Satoru, you know why."

"I promise you I don't."

It takes a moment for you to figure out how you want to say this, but you settle for short version.

"It's just." You breathe in his scent, as familiar to you as your own. He smells like coming home after a long trip and while hotels and AirBNBs and temporary homes may be nice and have all the luxuries, nothing beats returning to the space you cultivated for yourself. "Every day I'm not your wife is the worst day of my life. So no, I couldn't promise myself to someone else. And I feel like a bad person because I went on this trip knowing that there was a possibility he'd ask to make us official and I went anyway, and you know what he said to me after I said no?"

"What?" Satoru breathes out. His mind is still reeling from the first thing you said. About how much you hated not being his wife. And now all he could think about is that from the moment the word 'divorce' left your mouth all those years ago, he'd been sleepwalking through life sustained only by the brief moments he got to see you or hear of you or be reminded of you.

You fist your hands in his shirt. "He told me it was ok. That I don't owe him anything and he'll always cherish our time together." You shake your head miserably. "I never deserved him. There's no version of me that ever will, but I just can't be with him."

Satoru doesn't move. He'd let go of your hands when you grabbed his shirt and his hands now hang limply at his sides. He stands so still that it's like he hasn't even heard you.

It may not seem like it in the moment, but your ex-husband always found the right words. From the first, "you look like crap" to the wedding vows he spent months on and ended up going off script anyways, he always knew just what to say.

As the silence stretched on, you grew increasingly uncomfortable. There was never any doubt that Satoru loved you, but now that you've said something you can't take back, has he realized how the eventual heartache wasn't worth it in the end? At some point, has he realized that maybe you were just never meant to be?

"Satoru?" you ask in a small voice.

Rather than using insufficient words for the feeling of joy and relief beyond comprehension, Satoru wordlessly reaches into his shirt and pulls out a chain. On it hangs his wedding ring, yours, and your engagement ring.

In the weeks after the divorce, you tried to give your engagement and wedding ring back to him. He didn't accept them at first, telling you they're yours and always would be, but one day, he came to work and found them sitting on his desk. He exorcised 37 curses that day.

You huff a laugh. "You keep those on you?"

The storage closet you're in is small, smells mildly of bleach and strongly of dirt, and the light fixture hands so low Satoru has to stoop to not bang his head. His elbow knocks over a mop and the bucket its in, which causes a chain reaction of falling cleaning supplies, but he ignores it all to awkwardly fit himself onto one knee.

Satoru unclasps the chain and slides your engagement ring off. Your hands fly to your mouth and to him, you look even more beautiful than you did the first time he asked. Your cheeks aren't as full, you look more world-weary, but your eyes still shine as bright and you'll always be you, and for that, Satoru could never love anyone else the way he loved you. Not even close, not even a little bit. Not even at all.

Satoru slides his blindfold up and it sits in his hair messily. "Maybe you don't think you deserve him, but if I could just be selfish this one time." He has to swallow to keep his voice steady. "I'd ask if you'd be willing to settle for me, who doesn't deserve you. Because I love you and I'll spend the rest of my life making you happy."

Your tears fall freely as he takes your left hand in his.

"If that's enough, then I hope you'll accept this as a promise ring. That I'll take it slow and I'll respect your boundaries and you can back out at any time." He winks. "And that I'll get you a new engagement ring when the time comes."

It's like you've just walked through the threshold of your home after ages away. Breathed in your scent. Taken in all the decor you've collected while living there.

"You've spent a really long time hung up on the same girl, Satoru," you laugh wetly.

Satoru grins. "You don't get it. She's a really special girl. No one compares. So, what do you say? I'll pick you up at seven tomorrow?"

And what else are you supposed to say? That's Your Man.

Hello, loves, I just moved from one end of the U.S. to the other and moved away from my parents for work. I lived in the same house in the same bedroom for 24 years, and it's been hard, so I haven't been writing, but here is the most emotional installment I've written of any fic ever. I hope you enjoy.

Click [here] to keep up with ex-husband Gojo and his estranged family | Ask stuff about Sen and the fam [here]

'Cause there's something between us anyway...

HAPPY BB DAY AND EARLY BIRTHDAY!!!

I am foaming at the mouth at this first chapter, but I'm gonna give others a chance to read before I give specifics I loved in an ask ❤️ I just wanted you to know that it's amazing and I'm excited to see where it goes!

Thank you! I took the day off work tomorrow for my birthday so I can write in peace and spend my day doing what I love. I can’t wait to hear what everyone thinks of the fic because it’s one I’ve really poured my heart into💛

i know everyone is sick of me talking about my shop but this one is actually important:

this sticker will hopefully be available on opening day (if not, a few days after) and all profits from this design are going to medical aid for palestinians so if NOTHING else, please be there for this one.