GODDAMNIT! WHY IS THIS FANDOM SO SAD???

GODDAMNIT! WHY IS THIS FANDOM SO SAD???

He hardly recognised her. They were her eyes, it was her hair- as limp and dirty as it was- and it was her face. But it wasn’t Aelin.

She was curled up in the corner of the cell- if it could be called that- her back to the wall. Her eyes were open, but they were not seeing him.

‘Aelin.’ Rowan whispered, crouching down. ‘Please.’ He had been here for minutes now, minutes too long, and each passing second was another second he could be caught in, caught and dragged up to Maeve, to be used and tortured for her own fun and to hurt Aelin more. ‘I would prefer Celaena to this. Please.’

He had seen her broken before. Seen her drunk and lost and hurt. But none of that- it was nothing compared to this. When Aelin had gone last time, there was Celaena, the mask that hid everything while flaunting it in others faces. But now, even that mask had been cracked beyond repair.

This was his mate. His mate, and he had no clue what to do to help her. In all his years, Rowan had never felt so helpless.

An alarm sounded above them, raised voices, and Rowan clenched his fists. This was expected- in all honesty he thought they would realise he was there sooner- but he had thought he would get in, grab his mate and leave again. He didn’t expect…this.

‘Aelin.’ He tried again. ‘Fireheart.’

A blink, and he thought it was a reaction- until all she did was roll over to face the wall. 

Her back.

He couldn’t take his eyes off her back. She had lost so much weight, and he had seen the new scars and bruises that covered her arms, had seen the rags that barely passed for clothes. But her back.

He had known her scars by heart. Each one had been a reminder- that she had survived, she had survived and found him and was strong. But those scars were now hidden by newer ones, harsh red lines that were barely healed. He had kissed every one of her scars one, and they had gone.

‘Aelin.’ His voice broke on the word, and he hated himself for it. Because this was his fault. She was his mate, his wife, Queen of a court that wanted-needed- her back, and he hadn’t protected her. It should be him in the cell, not her. ‘We need to go.’

Slowly, as if every movement caused her pain, she put her hands over her ears.

She didn’t believe him. Didn’t believe he was actually there- how many times had she cried out for him to rescue her, how many times had she thought she had seen his face, heard his voice, when it wasn’t real.

He was as much a torturer than Maeve, in her head at least.

He rested his head against the bars, his hands gripping them as if he could pull them apart. He wished he could, but he also wished it was Maeve head in his hands that he was crushing, breaking, ruining as she had Aelin.

He never thought he could truly hate Maeve. But now… He would break her entire court apart for revenge. For Aelin.

‘Rowan.’

He shut his eyes, pulling himself back together before standing and facing the other fae male who once had been a sort of friend. Until this. ‘Fenrys.’

‘She knows you are here.’

Maeve knew everything that was going on in her realm. ‘So are you going to drag me back up to her? Whip me like you have my Queen?’

Rowan might have been imagining it, but he was sure the other Fae flinched. ‘You know that wasn’t me.’

‘You didn’t stop it.’ A snarl.

‘How was I meant to, when she ordered me to stand still and watch? I did everything I could to help her.’

‘It’s not enough, Fenrys.’

A pause, the males staring at each other, refusing to be the first to look away. Then:

‘She ordered me to find you. Not to bring her back.’

‘It would have been implied. Or she’s watching to see what you do.’

‘I don’t care.’ His jaw tightened. ‘I don’t care. I was with your queen long enough, Rowan, to learn to care about her. She was more a friend to us than we have had in…forever. So I don’t care.’

‘Then let me take her away.’

‘I can’t.’

‘Another order?’

‘Yes.’ Fenrys frowned. ‘But…she didn’t say I couldn’t.’

If Rowan could, he would have smiled. Years ago, none of them would have gone against Maeve’s word, implied or not. Yet now…they were all doing what little they could. He didn’t know what was worse; them following orders and being safer, or them rebelling and getting punished. Fenrys would suffer for this…but Aelin came first.

‘Bring her to me.’ Rowan laid out a plan carefully, telling the other male to meet him after sundown. ‘And Fenrys?’

‘What?’

‘If you don’t bring her, I will do everything in my power to destroy this place. With all of you in it’. He walked away without another word.

And then he waited. It was only hours, short hours compared to his long life, but each minute felt like a day, and before the sun had even disappeared, he had thought of every terrible ending to this day.

Maeve could find out. It could be a trap. Maeve could find out. She could kill Aelin- to get back at him. Fenrys could back out. Maeve could find out.

But then he saw his…friend, walking over the hill with a bundle in his arms. A bundle that looked so small, too small to be his mate.

But it was.

Rowan remembered a long time ago, when he had carried her in the same way. Before he knew her,before he saw her as what she was. Princess, survivor, warrior. Part of her had hated him back then. Hate…hate had been better than what this was. The emptiness. The…nothing.

Fenrys thrust her at him when he arrived. ‘Take her.’ He said. ‘Far away, for years. Dont…let the world know where she is. Don’t even let her court know. Or Maeve will find out and come after both of you.’

There were shadows in his eyes, a fear for them and for himself. ‘Fenrys. What will she do to you?’

‘I don’t know.’ A smile. ‘Think about yourself, Rowan. Not me.’

No one deserved the punishments Maeve dealt out. Not for this,not for anything. ‘If you ever get away from her, Fenrys, if you run or she sets you free, there will a place at our court for you.’

Hope, Rowan had learnt, was as powerful in war as any blade was. Hope kept everyone fighting, wanting more, wanting different. Hope was dangerous, but Fenrys needed it. Because even Rowan wondered if he would ever see the male again.

Rowan wrapped his arms around his mate, tucking her into his chest and turned away. She still hadn’t responded, and a part of Rowan’s heart broke. But she was there, in his arms, safe. He just needed to do something to bring her back to him.

And for  Aelin Ashryver Galathynius, Queen of Terrasen and his wife, Prince Rowan Whitethorn would do anything.