In My Restless Dreams

in my restless dreams

it's ridiculous. couldn't possibly be true.

that's what dazai kept telling himself.

there was no way. it couldn't have been you.

but the letter - it was there, in his pocket. your handwriting, the eccentric swoops at the end of each letter and the little hearts in the 'i's. your signature, in beautiful cursive that you tried to teach him so many times but he could just never get it right.

and this town, their 'special place.' all of it - it pointed to you. but, there was just no way. you were dead. you had died of that damned disease three years ago. so why was he looking for you? even as he stared at his reflection in that dirty bathroom mirror, one hand gently touching the apple of his cheek as if to check if this was real, if he was actually here - he couldn't tell you.

he almost didn't recognize himself. looking in that mirror, it felt as if some stranger was staring back, face wizened from age and stress, eyes tired and sunken from those deep bags - the contrast was stark compared to how he looked the last time he was here.

he turned and sighed, making his way out of the bathroom. "y/n. . ."

the cold afternoon wind felt crisp against his skin, despite the bandages covering his body providing some measure of warmth.

"could you really be in this town?"

despite the clouded skies, the sun cast a bright glow over the forested area, the fog drifting casually all around him as he stepped out into the parking lot. his feet brought him over to the metal railing, eyes gazing aimlessly at the forest stretching before him.

he couldn't help but think of you. the way you'd laugh, the way you'd dress, the way your eyes would crinkle every time you'd smile, soft irises staring back into his with nothing but love and care. he missed that.

he missed you.

maybe that's why he was here. because, deep down, he wanted to believe it was true. wanted to believe that the letter was really from you.

in my restless dreams, i see that town.

silent hill.

you promised you'd take me there again someday. but you never did.

well, i'm alone there now. in our 'special place.' waiting for you.